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☖ Forums → Discussion Forum → Stupid Broken Text Adventure (Forum Game)
123456
Stupid Broken Text Adventure (Forum Game)
2014-04-15, 9:07 PM #161
Originally posted by Jon`C:
>>Use die to cast a rake handle


You cast the die and roll a 1. You do not win a rake handle.

Originally posted by Gebohq:
>>survive


You don't know how to do that. Clearly.

Originally posted by Jon`C:
That's right u are butttttttttttttt

>>run rake handle through self


You don't have a rake handle.

Originally posted by Reid:
I bop myself in the head.


You can't open that container.

Originally posted by Antony:
>>undress


You take off your robe and wizard hat.

Originally posted by EAH_TRISCUIT:
>> Get up. Go to Garage Workshop.


You get up.

You point yourself in the direction of your garage and walk into a wall.

Originally posted by Jon`C:
>>use lathe to make a new rake handle.

>>run rake handle through self


You can't handle the rake.

Originally posted by Alan:
>summon freelancer's mom


You haven't learned Summon Hot ***** yet.
If you think the waiters are rude, you should see the manager.
2014-04-16, 5:59 PM #162
>>juggle inventory
The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories
http://forums.theplothole.net
2014-04-16, 7:00 PM #163
>>add self to inventory

>>get inventory
2014-04-16, 8:44 PM #164
>> Explore rake
COUCHMAN IS BACK BABY
2014-04-16, 9:20 PM #165
Originally posted by Gebohq:
>>juggle inventory


You attempt to juggle your inventory. You drop a nickel, a trepidation, and a rake.

Originally posted by Jon`C:
>>add self to inventory

>>get inventory


You pick up yourself and put you into your pocket.

You already have that.

Originally posted by Tracer:
>> Explore rake


You can't do that without a drill.
If you think the waiters are rude, you should see the manager.
2014-04-16, 9:46 PM #166
>>pull bottom lip over head

>>swallow
2014-04-17, 9:25 AM #167
>> Walk north
COUCHMAN IS BACK BABY
2014-04-17, 10:45 AM #168
>> Travel from house to house in the local community spreading the word of God to ignorant heathens.
My favorite JKDF2 h4x:
EAH XMAS v2
MANIPULATOR GUN
EAH SMOOTH SNIPER
2014-04-17, 11:20 AM #169
Originally posted by Jon`C:
>>pull bottom lip over head

>>swallow


You try, but you can only seem to get it to the bottom of your nose.

Swallow what?

Originally posted by Tracer:
>> Walk north


You walk north from your kitchen into your living room and trip over a fork.

Originally posted by EAH_TRISCUIT:
>> Travel from house to house in the local community spreading the word of God to ignorant heathens.


You don't have a word of God.
If you think the waiters are rude, you should see the manager.
2014-04-17, 3:40 PM #170
>> Find God. Steal his word.
My favorite JKDF2 h4x:
EAH XMAS v2
MANIPULATOR GUN
EAH SMOOTH SNIPER
2014-04-17, 4:19 PM #171
>> Plug rake in god's rectum
ORJ / My Level: ORJ Temple Tournament I
2014-04-17, 5:01 PM #172
Originally posted by EAH_TRISCUIT:
>> Find God. Steal his word.


You don't see God anywhere. He's probably not in your house. He's probably got the right idea there.

Originally posted by ORJ_JoS:
>> Plug rake in god's rectum


You don't have a rake.
If you think the waiters are rude, you should see the manager.
2014-04-17, 6:27 PM #173
>>fly through rings
The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories
http://forums.theplothole.net
2014-04-17, 7:54 PM #174
>>Get up
>>Get coffee
>>Go to job
>>Have boring meeting with boring manager, Rob
The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories
http://forums.theplothole.net
2014-04-18, 8:10 AM #175
Originally posted by Gebohq:
>>fly through rings


This game isn't THAT stupid and broken.

Originally posted by Gebohq:
>>Get up
>>Get coffee
>>Go to job
>>Have boring meeting with boring manager, Rob


You get up.

You pick up a bag of ground coffee from your kitchen counter.

You don't know how to get there from your kitchen.

You don't see Rob here.
If you think the waiters are rude, you should see the manager.
2014-04-18, 8:39 AM #176
>> Eat ground coffee.
My favorite JKDF2 h4x:
EAH XMAS v2
MANIPULATOR GUN
EAH SMOOTH SNIPER
2014-04-19, 9:28 AM #177
>>pat your head and rub your stomach at the same time

((Hey, if this game is broken, might as well see how to break it to our advantage. Then again, I don't know what our goals even are. Maybe I should figure that out, if even existing or possible.))

>>identify goals
The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories
http://forums.theplothole.net
2014-04-19, 11:15 AM #178
Originally posted by Gebohq:
>>pat your head and rub your stomach at the same time

((Hey, if this game is broken, might as well see how to break it to our advantage. Then again, I don't know what our goals even are. Maybe I should figure that out, if even existing or possible.))

>>identify goals


You pat your head and rub your stomach at the same time. One of your arms hurts, but you can't figure out which one because patting your stomach and rubbing your head at the same time is taking all of your concentration.

You look out the window at the soccer goals in the park across the street. Yep, those sure are some goals.
If you think the waiters are rude, you should see the manager.
2014-04-19, 11:40 AM #179
((Eh, close enough.))

>>move to goals
The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories
http://forums.theplothole.net
2014-04-19, 1:33 PM #180
>> eat ground coffee. AGAIN.
My favorite JKDF2 h4x:
EAH XMAS v2
MANIPULATOR GUN
EAH SMOOTH SNIPER
2014-04-19, 1:48 PM #181
>>ignore triscut's command again
The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories
http://forums.theplothole.net
2014-04-19, 2:35 PM #182
>>defend goal
TAKES HINTS JUST FINE, STILL DOESN'T CARE
2014-04-19, 4:25 PM #183
>>xyzzy
2014-04-19, 4:57 PM #184
Originally posted by Gebohq:
((Eh, close enough.))

>>move to goals


You can't see that from your kitchen.

Originally posted by EAH_TRISCUIT:
>> eat ground coffee. AGAIN.


You don't think you want to do that again.

Originally posted by Gebohq:
>>ignore triscut's command again


You look around your living room. You don't see a triscut. You act like it's not even there, because it's not.

Originally posted by Roger Spruce:
>>defend goal


You have died.

You have gained one Adventure Point. Total Adventure Points: 2

Originally posted by Jon`C:
>>xyzzy


Nothing happens. After a moment, something happens, and then nothing happens again.
If you think the waiters are rude, you should see the manager.
2014-04-19, 5:09 PM #185
>> become undead
ORJ / My Level: ORJ Temple Tournament I
2014-04-19, 5:35 PM #186
>>dig down
TAKES HINTS JUST FINE, STILL DOESN'T CARE
2014-04-19, 7:30 PM #187
>> become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.
My favorite JKDF2 h4x:
EAH XMAS v2
MANIPULATOR GUN
EAH SMOOTH SNIPER
2014-04-19, 9:07 PM #188
>>file a complaint
The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories
http://forums.theplothole.net
2014-04-21, 5:08 PM #189
Originally posted by ORJ_JoS:
>> become undead


You are no longer dead.

Originally posted by Roger Spruce:
>>dig down


You don't have anything to dig with.

Originally posted by EAH_TRISCUIT:
>> become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.


You can imagine quite a bit.

Originally posted by Gebohq:
>>file a complaint


You yell at one of your chairs. Nice work, Clint Eastwood. That'll show 'em.
If you think the waiters are rude, you should see the manager.
2014-04-21, 5:25 PM #190
>>fashion a shovel from the misbehaving chair
TAKES HINTS JUST FINE, STILL DOESN'T CARE
2014-04-21, 5:37 PM #191
>>fashion a rake from the shovel

>>run rake handle through self
2014-04-21, 5:47 PM #192
>>delete forums
error; function{getsig} returns 'null'
2014-04-21, 5:56 PM #193
>>restore forums from backup and reset everybody's password
2014-04-21, 6:00 PM #194
>>fashion self from the rake handle

>>start new fashion wave

>>...delete forums again
The Plothole: a home for amateur, inclusive, collaborative stories
http://forums.theplothole.net
2014-04-21, 6:26 PM #195
>>delete four rums
2014-04-24, 9:22 AM #196
Originally posted by Roger Spruce:
>>fashion a shovel from the misbehaving chair


You don't have the tools for that. Not even a Gebohq.

Originally posted by Jon`C:
>>fashion a rake from the shovel

>>run rake handle through self


You don't have a shovel.

You don't have a rake.

Originally posted by Alan:
>>delete forums


Originally posted by Reverend Jones:
>>restore forums from backup and reset everybody's password


Originally posted by Gebohq:
>>fashion self from the rake handle

>>start new fashion wave

>>...delete forums again


You have gained one Adventure Point. Total Adventure Points: 2

Originally posted by Jon`C:
>>delete four rums


You could use a drink, but you don't see any rums in your living room.
If you think the waiters are rude, you should see the manager.
2014-04-24, 9:35 AM #197
>>sit down
2014-04-24, 9:36 AM #198
>>reinvent the wheel
Star Wars: TODOA | DXN - Deus Ex: Nihilum
2014-04-24, 9:41 AM #199
>>choke chicken
ORJ / My Level: ORJ Temple Tournament I
2014-04-24, 10:09 AM #200
>> smash nearest object repeatedly until it's broken.

>> stick finger in nose. Gently move finger back and forth dislodging any boogers. Remove finger from nose and stick finger in mouth. Savor the taste.

>> imagine the game narrator being grateful that the previous action was not attempted on the anus.
My favorite JKDF2 h4x:
EAH XMAS v2
MANIPULATOR GUN
EAH SMOOTH SNIPER
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