Stanin did not watch the forces of Good, Evil, and Nature milling about in the exchange chamber to each side's personal antechamber. He did not watch the other mortal champions, wrapped up in their own worlds as much as he was in his.
Instead, he contemplated the nature of God. Of life. Of love. Staring out the window at the battlefield. It was bare now, as was his heart. Melantha - he wasn't sure what to call her. She had been someone else, but she had made this new life for herself. He didn't know. He didn't know if she would take him back. He had abandoned her. He had abandoned Christina, his beautiful daughter. He had abandoned, his country, his friends, his God.
It wasn't until now, after a millennium of searching, that he had found his way back. Only to find himself smack dab in the middle of the biggest war the universe had ever seen. As Aaron Biltmore
(NSP: name change from Joshua Vandercroft), he had fought on the front lines and behind enemy lines in an age of terrorism. As Stanin eth Calenb he had fought all manner of creatures, magic-users, and tyrants.
But this. . . this was battle on a cosmic scale.
Or was it? No. No, it wasn't. It was battle on a spiritual scale. This conflict would not be decided by strength, but by the heart of its combatants.
But therein lay a paradox. God was all-powerful, was he not? Beyond that, even. So why was it that He had to fight to claim control of human destiny? And why could He not have any part of this battle?
But he had faith, and that would have to see him through.
-----
Saidelora, for the first time in centuries, felt a sense of awe. Here she was, surrounded by the greatest and most powerful beings of a generation; and yet SHE had been chosen to serve as one of the champions.
But of course she had. She was Saidelora. Lady of Shadows. She was strong, indivisible.
She saw an elderly man with a shock of white hair, in simple, somewhat tattered clothing, standing by the window of the tower. Like herself, he had not entered the teleport rings to go to his army's antechamber. Perhaps it came out of reluctance, or fear. Something she could understand. Once you went into the antechamber, you were committed. You couldn't back out. It represented a hurling of oneself over the edge.
She went over to the elderly man. "Hi," she ventured. She didn't know who he was, or what side he fought for, but for now, they were kindred, two humans thrust into a battle of awesome proportions.
He looked at her. "Hello," he replied, and a wrinkled if troubled smile creased his features. "Ready?"
"As I could ever be." She paused. "What are you thinking of?"
The other looked down momentarily. "The people I love. Like my daughter."
Saidelora had never had children, nor could she understand the fascination so many people had with them, yet she sympathized with this man's down-to-earth personality. It was something she had sacrificed a long time ago. . . and perhaps, if she dared admit to herself, something she missed. "Do you think you'll ever see her again?"
An ancient wound appeared in the old man's eyes. "She's dead."
"I-" she stopped, not knowing what to say.
"It's okay," the man spoke gently. "Right now I'm just wondering about the nature of life."
"Me, too!" she looked at him, surprised. "All my life, I've been taught that the supreme good is to be true unto oneself. You know?"
"Yes," the man nodded. "I do. You can be true to yourself. You just have be true to others as well, and what you believe in."
"The trouble is," she said philosophically, "is that everyone believes different things."
"True enough," he answered. "But I think if you search your feelings and constantly quest for the truth, you will find it. I found it."
She slowly nodded. "I suppose. I guess I'm a little power-hungry, though."
He chuckled. "Now that's something I can sympathize with. For a long time I sought ultimate power, only to discover that, no matter how much power I wield, I am only a man that wields it." He turned to face her directly. "I hope you can understand this, too."
Saidelora shook her head. "I think it's possible to control it and oneself. If what you say is true, then I will discover it for myself."
The old man nodded again. "Everyone has to learn their own lessons. I certainly learned mine."
"The point is that there are many lessons to be learned, and many ways of learning them."
"I agree with that. If you accept that there are lessons to be learned, then you are on the right path."
She smiled. "I guess we're not so different after all."
"No. I suppose not."
A trumpet blew, the signal for final entry into the antechambers. "Well," the old man spoke, extended his hand, "it was a pleasure meeting you. My name is Aaron."
She took his proferred hand. "Said." He bent down and kissed her hand and smiled gently, before entering the teleport rings.
Saidelora waited a moment before she too entered.
-----
Stanin appeared in the antechamber of the forces of Good. He saw Saatch coming towards him and raised his arm in greeting.
"You seem troubled," the short black-robed man observed.
"How did you?- Oh, right, your soulsight."
"Yes," Saatch confirmed. "What is the matter?"
"Well, it's just that God is supposed to be-"
"Ultimately powerful?" Saatch finished for him.
"Yes."
"He is."
"Well, yeah, I know, but why does he then allow these eternal battles?"
Saatch looked skyward for a moment, as if silently communing with the King of Kings. "You know, Aaron, God is not God because He exercises His power or because He enforces His will. God is God because of His compassion and His allowance of free will. It is grace and love and vision that make God Who He is. Not power. His Spirit."
Stanin nodded. "Thank you, Saatch. I needed that."
Saatch smiled. "Come now. We have much to prepare for."
------------------
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