And the scene solidifies, quite literally, on a homogenous volume of concrete

Geb: *mumble grumble mumble*
TLTE: *Grumble umble mumble!*
Geb: *umble grumble...*

A shot is fired, and soon wavy lines overtake everything, spreading out from a portion of the concrete slab that was the sole center of this dimension.

Unwavifying waves spread in, revealing a beautiful garden. Slowly pan out revealing a well-manicured lawn that seemingly spreads for acres upon acres. Painstakingly swept marble floors, impeccably decorated patio furniture, and a bountiful catered picnic slowly come into view, and the camera slowly pans in on a small group of obviously rich patrons. A quiet din of conversation slowly filters out until the small group is highlighted...:

Patron 1: I can't believe the Nikei is down for the third quarter in a row. I've been seriously considering pulling out and parleying into futures.

Patron 2: Oh come now, you can't go running with your tail between your legs every time the Asian market undergoes a self-correction.

Slowly the camera has been zooming in on this group, taking particular notice of the impeccable casual suits, worn almost exclusively by the extravagantly wealthy while pretending to have a good time, keeping the faces noticeably out of view. Finally, a short pan reveals....no.....it can't be.....It's IMPOSSIBLE!!!

Gebohq: "Can you believe what my servant said to me yesterday? He had the nerve to ask for a raise. As if room, board, and the privilege of pulling my weeds wasn't enough!"

TheOtter: "Hmmmm, yes, quite."

Krig: "Krig think meat futures solid in-vest-ment. Krig re...re...re-spect-fully suggest look into it."

Geb: "Of course, of course, how simple and yet so profound!"

*From out of nowhere, a man yelling obscenities from whence he came comes stumbling over the field, in the general direction of the picnickers. Zoom in to show a slovenly dressed man, so drunk he trips over his own shoelaces on his way over. He somehow manages to walk to the table of food, and proceeds to stack everything he can fit on one plate, and then catching the overflow onto a second.*

CookedHaggis: *stumbling into a passerby* "HEY! Watch where you' going! Yeah I'm talkin' to ya! Look at me when I'm talkin' to ya!" *turns and spots Geb* "Yo Geb! What up G?! You best not be forgetting about that Monsta Truck Rally we had earlier!" *Makes large engine noise with accompanying gestures, knocking the plate of a Duchess* "Yo G-man! You never told me there'd be babes at this here partay!"

No, I refuse to read this script...this is unethical, immoral, illegal by so many standards of law and order. Get that much vaunted computer to do it. Hey, what are you doing?! You can't kick me out of here! My voice deserves to be--

*Much scuffling and yelling is heard*

<We now return you to your regularly scheduled NES>

------------------
"What sane person could live in this world, and *not* be crazy?"

Council of 14

"I am the signature virus! Copy me into your signature so that I can take over the world! Moohahahee!"

[This message has been edited by KyleKatarn7 (edited February 23, 2004).]

* The Mega-ZZTer stands, looking quite confused, dressed in a tuxedo, holding a glass of champane.

MZZT: ... What happened?

NSP: I think I'll start contributing again, after a short break.. but not today, I'm tired.

------------------
The Mega-ZZTer's Gaming Haven!

Bot Pack JO | Let's Roll JK | Bespin JA | Patch Enforcer JK/Mots | Pac-Man JK

Back at the Arena we see Qhobeg after many days of training he is now ready to be the warrior he is meant to be

Ghost Dude: You are now ready Qhobeg, you may leave.

Ares: You did better than Geb did the first time we met... well time to stop by the Dodge dealership to get another Viper...

Qhobeg: Goodbye, and thank you...

Qhobeg walks off... in the wrong direction and falls into a plothole

Qhobeg: Where am I?

Qhobeg walks around and finds a tree with the words "Jim7 wuz heer" carved into it...

Qhobeg: What the..

YESS IT APPEARS QHOBEG HAS WANDERED INTO THE PLOTHOLE OUR HEROES GOT STUCK IN WHEN KRIG ATE THE PAGES OF THE NES! WILL QHOBEG EVER GET OUT? WILL QHOBEG FIND ANYONE ELSE IN THE PLOTHOLE? FIND OUT ON THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF THE PLOTHOLE!!!

------------------
wang is within all

Still in the plothole we see Qhobeg searching for some way out.

Qhobeg: There has to be something here...

Qhobeg looks around and sees a door.

Qhobeg: A DOOR!

Qhobeg opens the door...

Qhobeg: FINALLY!

New Character™: Hey, you're Geb aren't you? WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME IN THAT PLOTHOLE!!!

Qhobeg: I'm not Geb see the pale eye? I'm Qhobeg...

Tattoo Artist: Well Qhobeg you must have come from the same plothole that other guy came from...

Qhobeg: Other guy?

TA: Yeah some guy came in here a while back through that door over there labeled "Exit to Plothole"

Qhobeg: Why does such a door exist?

TA: Like i told the other guy it just appeared one day... anyway this isn't the NeS i'm afraid you have found your way into the EES...

Qhobeg: EES?

TA: Eventually Ending Story... at least it's better than The End is Here... that story died after the world was attacked by a giant chocolate bunny...

Qhobeg: Bummer... anyway how do i get back?

TA: Well there is one main way and that's to exit through the top of the plothole... or you can get out by a strange and convenient coincidence...

Qhobeg: I'll get right on that but first... I think i'll get a tattoo

TA: then you are in the right place.

YEAH... WE KNOW...

------------------
wang is within all

*Another dimension, another nonsensical tale...*

TLTE: Where are we now?

Jim: I'm not quite sure. Being a disembodied voice travelling through time and space to the eighth dimension, I've lost a lot of faith in myself.

CookedHaggis: You've lost a lot of yourself, period.

Jim: Quiet, you.

*Oxford, London. Immediately the NeS crew are aware that something is wrong; the fact that what appears to be a press release for a major new scientific breakthrough is being accompanied by the Beastie Boys' Body Movin' is a distinct clue.*

Announcer: And now, to present the thesis Eight Dimensions - This Time I'm Almost Positive, I give you my colleague, a real genius and a personal friend of mine...Professor Krig the Viking, two-time PhD recipient!

*The audience, who are on the ceiling, clap and cheer raucously. The Norseman himself, popping and locking his diminutive frame to the music, grooves to the podium, flanked by Dr. Geb, his humble assistant.*

Prof. Krig: May I unequivocally thank one and all...but it's like I told Professor Trevalier earlier over scones: a multi-PhD and $1.50 will get you a cappucino!

*The audience laugh and laugh, rolling in the rooftop aisles. Krig basks in the warm glow. Dr. Geb pushes up his horn-rimmed spectacles nervously.*

Krig: ...but enough of the sparkling repartee, we have a thesis to conduct!

*The various NeS attendees waft ethereally over to tables and chairs, watching with growing interest as their metaphysical imponderances are answered...*

(NSP: And that's where I stop short of making an absolute fool of myself by revealing how startlingly small my knowledge of dimensional identification is. Er...tag.)

NSP:
BaBaBaBump.......BababaBUMP

BUMPPPPPPPPP'D

------------------
"The future is not determined by a throw of the dice, but is determined by the conscious decisions of you and me."
I am addicted to ellipses!!! AHHH!!! ...

Prof. Krig: Dr. Geb, if you'd be so kind...

Pushing his glasses up and rubbing his sweating brow, Dr. Geb flips over the large pad of paper propped on a canvas. He then brandishes a marker and begins to draw a line... not very well either.

Krig: Most everyone is familiar with the first three dimensions: length...

Dr. Geb then draws some more sketchy lines, completing a square.

Krig: ...height...

A few more lines, creating a representation of a cube.

Krig: ...and depth. A number of people are even aware of time as the 4th dimension, as an object crosses over a length of seconds or minutes or what have you.

Dr. Geb draws another cube next to the first, pushes his glasses up again, and draws an arrow going from one to the other.

Krig: In recent years, leading scientists at NeSU and MIT discovered three other dimensions. While one can observe a length of time, there is also a height and depth of time, which some represent as a timesquare or a timecube, and the timefractal, which the layman would mistakenly label as chaos.

The sketching becomes quite messy now as Dr. Geb scrawls more arrows between the two cubes, creating what appears to be a third arrowed cube, and finally, a mesh of zig-zags criss-crossing from one cube to another. The drawing now looks like a spiraling mess of lines, and the audience begins to murmur to each other. Our ethereal heroes watch in interest as the explination continues, despite most of them not understanding a single word of it.

Krig: I know this is all very confusing, but this is all merely for enlightenment. The 8th dimension, as my associate Dr. Geb and I stumbled upon, is perhaps more basic than any of these dimensions. We call this new dimension...

Dr. Geb flips over the paper on its other side, to reveal lighter shades of the scriblles coming from the other side.

Krig: ...value!

The crowd begins to rabble and shoot up in a commotion.

Krig: Please good people, sit back down! I speak of these lines you see coming through the paper. If the lines you saw before were of a positive value, the lines you can make out here would be of a negative value! And just like any dimension above another, it can often be invisible to the senses, perceived only as seven! We're almost absolutely POSITIVE that is what the 8th dimension is...

Our heroes in ethereal form group turn to each other.

TLTE: What in the name of heaven are they talking about?

Geb: Isn't it obvious? The 8th dimension is obviously the evil dimension! Now that I know what it is, I can take us there!

Ford: Maybe we should just go back to our own dimension...

CoolMatty: But that's like going to the dimension of depth or height, isn't it?

Back on the stage, Dr. Geb and Prof. Krig wrap up their presentation.

Krig: So, any questions?

Crowd person #2: Yeah, what about hypercubes?

Crowd person #3: And what about, like, everything Stephen Hawking said about not being able to travel in time?

Crowd person #1: Hey, I'm #1, I'm first! I want to know how the hell you can have a timesquare, or timecube?

Crowd person #2: I asked first!

Crowd person #4: Where are your credentials, Proffessor Krig and Dr Geb?

Krig: Uh...

Krig and Dr. Geb stand, pouring sweat, as the crowd quickly turned into a mob. Meanwhile, Gebohq charges up his plothole pistol.

Geb: Alright, off we go!

MZZT: No wait, the questions!--

Geb: TO THE EIGTH DIMENSION!!!

A mystical swirl aka plothole ripped open though as Gebohq fired his PHP, and the heroes dissapear in a flash. All that can be seen is darkness.

Darkness.

Lots...and lots of darkness.

And breathing. In the darkness.

...did I mention it was dark? Scared yet? BE AFRAID! Not scared, eh?

ZAP!

Gebohq's vision begins to focus, making out blue outlines in the thick black. Those blue outlines grow into lighter shades... into a water tank, flanking an entire wall. Gebohq can make out the sounds of the fluids gliding against the glass, and a shadow zips across it.

Geb: GAH!

Gebohq scrambles backwards, tripping over a raised section of the floor and hitting himself on the opposite wall. A couple electrical discharges crackle behind the wall...consoles? Clutching the wall, Gebohq raises himself off the floor, eyes darting.

Geb: Hello? TLTE? Krig? Maybechild? Anyone there?

Looking around, Gebohq notices one of the walls is rock. Could it be an underground complex? But why did it appear deserted, and where was the power? Gebohq shuffles over to the non-rock wall, and fingers a switch.

BOOM!

Geb: Ow, my eyes!

Heheheheehehe...those were just the lights. The lights illuminate the room now, and it is obvious that Gebohq is in some sort of facility. And against the rock wall is a bloody skeleton--

Gebohq quickly turns the lights back off.

Geb: Door... door...must find door...

Sidling against the wall, Gebohq soon finds the door, which he pulls open. Brandishing his pistol, Gebohq ventures outside the room.

Geb: Guys, where are you?

(NSP: Just take the other stuff we've jumped to and thought were the 8th dimension into consideration. For now, the story arc is to find wach other, and stay ALIVE! See the NeS workshop for more details.)

(NSP: Must...break...the unwritten rule that we can't post more than twice or more in a row...)

Gebohq rubs his eyes. That is to say, Evil Gebohq rubs his eyes.

Evil Geb: Narrator? I'm not evil, darn it!

Sure sure, whatever you say.

Evil Geb: Where's everyone else?

Why would I tell you, EVIL Geb?

Evil Geb: Fine. Where am I, at least? Could you describe where I am?

I suppose I can do that. It's dark. Very dark--

Evil Geb: Come on, hurry it up.

Suspense must not be rushed. You should know that.

Evil Geb: Is that a portal device?

Well, uh, it appears to be some sort of giant ring within an underground complex. A lot of complex wires and gears and such seem to be attached to it and to a projection input/output device that resembles a green and white box. It says "Forum Wayrail" on it.

Evil Geb: And that means...?

Hell if I know.

Evil Geb: Well, I'll just press a few buttons on here and... Massassi? Hmm... I've heard about this before. I think I have an idea...

Evil Gebohq begins typing, and a slew of text run across the green and white box. A beam of light begins scanning Evil Geb, and another then shoots into the giant ring, which opens up an alien green mystical swirl...

Whatever he's doing, it can't be of any good, here on the Never-ending Story thread...squared...

[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited March 06, 2004).]

Suddenly, CoolMatty appears in the new area...

CM: GEB! WAIT! SHOULDN'T WE TALK ABOUT THIS?!

CM quickly realizes that he's been transported to a new place, and looks around.

CM: Oh... wow. Beautiful forestry... Really breezy though, kinda... OH MY GOD!!!

CM suddenly looks down to see that he is on the side of a cliff, on a very small ledge, looking down at a river nearly 200feet below.

CM: Not good... NOT GOOD! Gotta get off this ledge... but I don't know where the heck I am... I gotta visualize a place to teleport...

CM closes his eyes, and begins picturing his surroundings. He imagines he is on top of the cliff, above, looking out. He then pulls his power together, and teleports

CM: ... Please be on the cliff...

He opens his eyes, and he looks down, noticing he is only 6 inches from the edge of the cliff he teleported to.

CM: AHHH! Yeesh... I'm glad that's over with... now where is everyone?

CM: Geb? Maybechild? TLTE? Anyone?

CM begins walking around, calling people's names in hopes of finding someone. Then he gets an idea...

CM: Ah ha! That little communicator Wai gave me, I bet that still works...

CM pulls out a small device, which looks like a heavily modified walkie-talkie.

CM: Wai... are you there?
(Static)
CM: Wai... com'on, answer me. Where are you?

Wai*HeavyStatic*: Matcsaghsd... Matt... I'm in cjdsfsdjksdfkj... I'm losing your signa-dfjksdfvsk... where are ydkfjlsdlvks.

CM: Wai! I can hardly hear you, speak up!

Wai: I'm alone.. fjksfslsdf... trying to ..sfdksdfaa.. the others... akjvsdlfhlglksjdflks

Suddenly, the device totally loses signal.

CM: Dammit! Well I know he's okay... so some people made it... but where is everyone? Did we warp out scattered all over?

CM: ... oh MY GOD!!!! MIMIRUUUUU!!!!!!!

CM suddenly panics. Realizing that his one true love is missing, he runs around everywhere looking for her.

CM: MIMIRUUU!!! WHERE ARE YOU! MIMIRU!

CM: I shouldn't have let her out of my sight! I'm so stupid!

CM gets another idea...

CM: It worked before... I'll try it again...

CM begins visualizing being next to Mimiru... and then begins teleporting.

CM: .... It isn't working! Why isn't it working? DAMMIT!!!

Being extremely angry, and having no one to tell him to do otherwise... CM begins burning the forest.

CM: BURN TO THE GROUND, DAMMIT! GIVE MY MIMIRU BACK!

Suddenly little pieces of blue flame appear in the sky. As the flames fall, they grow larger. Finally, it reaches the forest, and begins burning.

CM: I'LL BURN THIS ENTIRE WORLD DOWN! I'M NOT LOOSING SOMEONE I LOVE, NOT AGAIN!

CM walks down through the burning woods. Branches fall, animals scatter. An entire one mile section of the forest is decimated. Blue flames surround CM, striking random things. CM continues to walk slowly... with a tear going down his cheek...

CM: It's your fault Gebohq..... if it wasn't for you... I wouldn't have lost her....

The flames around CM grow, expanding so rapidly that it seems almost like an explosion of fire

CM: THERE WILL BE RETRIBUTION, GEBOHQ! AND YOUR HEAD WILL BE MY PEACE! HEAR ME OUT GEBOHQ, WE WILL FIGHT!

And so, CoolMatty continues walking, slowly, aimlessly.

------------------
"The future is not determined by a throw of the dice, but is determined by the conscious decisions of you and me."
I am addicted to ellipses!!! AHHH!!! ...

[This message has been edited by Cool Matty (edited March 06, 2004).]

Suddenly in the most inconvenient place possible a villain with a great dental plan declares his presence. He is a tall Austrian robot known as Ahnuld sent from the future with one mission... To protect John C...errm...To destroy Gebohq, and all other hero type figures that stand in his way! Suddenly Ahnuld looks down and realizes he is wearing nothing except a pair of very sexy, but also very villain like sunglasses. He wanders into the nearest town and mugs the first person he sees. Obviously their clothes are a perfect match and fit Ahnuld perfectly.

Ahnuld: Lookie what we have here.

Ahnuld reaches into his pockets to find that the person he mugged had a can of “Hero-be-gone” and an even larger can of “tutu remover” in his pockets. Ahnuld thinks hard...

Ahnuld: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

...and decides that he has no use for these two cans....so he throws them away.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN?!?! WILL THE VERY VERY VERY VERY EVIL AND SCARY AHNULD (That will strike fear in the hearts of just about everyone) FIND GEB AND THE REST OF THE HEROS?! WILL THE NeS² GET SUED BY JAMES CAMERON?! FIND OUT NEXT TIME IN.............THE NEVER ENDING STORY SQUARED!


------------------
I’m not going to die, I’m going to see if I was ever alive. - Spike
It's not your right to decide whether they live or die. They deserve a chance! - Vash
BABIES EVERYWHERE!!!

[This message has been edited by SAJN_Master (edited March 06, 2004).]

[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited March 06, 2004).]

Suddenly, a cloaked figure loomed out of the flames. From beneath the shadow of the dark hood, two glowing red eyes burned like coals. They seemed to cut right into CoolMatty's soul, like a pair of rusty straight razors.

The figure raised a hand, holding a small, mysterious box. It advanced toward CoolMatty, impervious to the flames. A black-gloved hand shoved the box viciously in his face. The figure spoke...

"My name's Thrawn42689. You want some chock-lates?"

Another figure raises himself up from the rubble fo the forest. This one is considerably more benign looking.

New person: Uh, sorry about him, sir. He just got out from my lab a little while ago and i've been looking all over for him. Sorry he gave you a bit of a scare there. His brain isn't working all that well. My name's Qwerty, by the way. I'm a scientist, of sorts.

Thrawn42689: No! No! Mustn’t go back! Gotta give out Chock-lates! Good Chock-lates! Mustn’t go back!

With this odd outburst Thrawn42689 suddenly busts off at an amazing rate.

Qwerty: Aw, damn it. There he goes again. Now I’ve gotta use this stupid thing.

He pulls a devise that looks like a tiny monitor from his pocket and starts walking in the direction that Thrawn left. However, before he gets to far, Cool Matty comes back to his senses.

CM: Uh, wait a second. That device wouldn't be able to track a robot of mine would it? I know it's bit presumptuous, but that one looks a bit too far gone and mine's great deal better, I assure you, except for the fact that he likes to use sarcasm a bit too much. All I’ve got to contact him with is the communicator that's gone on the fritz.

While Matty truly wishes to find Gebohq and pay him back for this painful separation, he decided it would be better to team up with Wai first

Qwerty: Well, my Thrawn robots are the only things I’ve had to test it on yet, but I guess it would work in theory. I just need a bit of information about your robot..

Querty then fires off a series of questions to CM that I don’t feel like relating. CM answers them all well enough.

Querty: Well, that just about does it. Hey! I've got a reading. Well, well, well. I think I’ve found why your communicator isn't working. This thing says he's more then 200 miles away. But, I think I may be able to help you with that, too. I’ve got a little device in my lab that will get us there in a jiffy. My lab's just over this way a bit.

CM: Uh, it wouldn't happen to be named a Thingy, would it?

Qwerty: No, not sure why you'd name something that at all. Seems rather ambiguous to me. No, this thing's called a jet. I don’t think you'd have heard of it. It’s a recent invention of mine and I don't have many people to talk to, but I assure you it's in top working condition. If you just follow me this way, we'll be there in a jiffy.

The fade from view as the walk into the smoldering remains of the forest.


------------------
"No good can ever come from staying with normal people"
-Outlaw Star
"Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul"
-Tycho, Penny Arcade
"I'm a Cannabal-Vegitarian. I will BBQ an employee if there is no veggie option"
-DX:IW

Hey, are we supposed to be writing in present or past tense? I'm confused.

Suddenly Ahnuld runs in on Cool Matty and Qwerty with Thrawn42689 by his side.

Ahnuld: So...we're all bad guys...right?

CM: Sure, I guess. But first I need to team back up wit..

The villains all stare at CM

CM: I mean, hell yes I am a villain.

Thrawn42689: Chok-lates!

The villains all stare at Thrawn42689

Thrawn42689: Vill-ain...yes..

Qwerty: Well actually I'm just..

The villains all stare at Qwerty

Qwerty: Like I said...yeah I'm a villain.


The villain group is growing more powerful as we speak..write..talk..*sigh* let me try that again... *ehem* The villain group is growing more powerful as we type. What will happen?! Are there more villains to come? What is going on with the heros? Does this remind anyone else of Sonic Heros?! Find out next time on.....THE NEVER ENDING STORY SQUARED! [/i]

------------------
I’m not going to die, I’m going to see if I was ever alive. - Spike
It's not your right to decide whether they live or die. They deserve a chance! - Vash
BABIES EVERYWHERE!!!

[This message has been edited by SAJN_Master (edited March 06, 2004).]

Qwerty is fiddling with something in the back of Thrawn's head.

Thrawn42689: Chock-lates!

Qwerty: You know, he's not supposed to do this. Now, I think this is the right wire.

Qwerty yanks a wire from the back of Thrawn's head.

Thrawn42689: YOU ****ING *******, YOU RIPPED OUT MY MOTHER****ING SELF-****ING-CONTROL MODULE, DAMMIT!

Qwerty: Or not. Wait, let me put this back in--

Thrawn grabs Qwerty and throws him twenty feet into a tree. He then stomps off into the wilderness, trying angrily to fix the wire in the back of his head.

[This message has been edited by Thrawn42689 (edited March 06, 2004).]

Ahnuld seeing what had just happens runs after Thrawn42689 until he finnaly catches up with him

Ahnuld: Slow down!

Thrawn42689: Why --chock-lates-- should I?!

Ahnuld: Because, I too am a robot!

It's true he is, I even said it before

Ahnuld: Let me help you! I know how to fix you.

Thrawn42689 slows down and allows Ahnuld to fix him

Thrawn42689: If you hurt me I will kill you..or at least hurl you into a tree.

Ahnuld: Fine, don't move

Ahnuld flicks the switch on the back of Thrawn42689 from "broken" to "fixed"

Thrawn42689: I feel so much better!

Thrawn42689 looks down at his hands

Thrawn42689: I'm a real boy!

Ahnuld: What the....Oh ha, silly me.

Ahnuld flicks the "acid trip" switch on Thrawn

Thrawn42689: Yo.

Ahnuld: Whew.. Back to normal at last. Now lets go back to CM and get Qwerty out of that tree.

Ahnuld and Thrawn42689 start walking...but do they remember which way will get them back!??!...Yes...yes they do. Find out more next time on The Never Ending Story Squared[/b]


------------------
I’m not going to die, I’m going to see if I was ever alive. - Spike
It's not your right to decide whether they live or die. They deserve a chance! - Vash
BABIES EVERYWHERE!!!

[This message has been edited by SAJN_Master (edited March 06, 2004).]

Ahnuld and Thrawn meet back up with CoolMatty and Qwerty. It's starting to get dark, so they all stop and set up camp.

Thrawn42689: Qwerty, look. I don't quite know how to put this...but the whole robot slave thing really isn't my cup of tea. I think it might be best if I were a little more...independent. I mean, we can still be friends and all.

Qwerty: You're breaking up with me? OHMYGAWD!

Qwerty puts his head in his hands and sobs. Thrawn stares at him quizically for a long time.

Qwerty: WAAAHHHAHAHHAAAokay. I never liked you anyway.

Thrawn42689: Right. You should be probably giving me the remote now, eh?

Qwerty: Oh yes, of course. Let me find it here...

Qwerty rummages around in his knapsack.

Qwerty: Did I ever tell you why I built you, Thrawn? It's an interesting story...

Thrawn42689: Shut up and give me the remote.

Qwerty: Oh, yeah. Heh heh.

Qwerty pulls out the remote and reluctantly hands it to Thrawn, who promptly devours it.

Thrawn42689: God, what did you put on this thing? Salad dressing? I hate salad dressing!

Thrawn makes a grab for Qwerty, but Qwerty jumps out of the way.

Qwerty: Wait! I have something for you...a present. It's a personality module.

Thrawn42689: What, is there something wrong with my personality?

Qwerty: No, no! I just thought you might like to try it out for a little while.

Qwerty holds out a small cartridge marked "PM-Grand Admiral Thrawn." Thrawn takes it and shoves it into some hidden socket.

Thrawn42689: Most interesting...thank you, Doctor.

Qwerty: ****, now he's smarter than me. I think I'll take it back now, if you don't mind...

Thrawn42689: That won't be necessary, Doctor.

Qwerty: Yeah, but...damn. Villiany sucks.

Ahnuld and CoolMatty walk over from the fire, where they were roasting...something.

CoolMatty: Who's up for some ghost stories?

Ahnuld: I am...ehem here it goes. Once upon a time there was a robot names Ahn..errm Andrea and he...umm she plotted against all of her villain errm.. school friends. Andrea broke into their tent...errm houses at night and slaughtered them all. the end.

All of the villains stair blankly at Ahnuld

Ahnuld: What?


------------------
I’m not going to die, I’m going to see if I was ever alive. - Spike
It's not your right to decide whether they live or die. They deserve a chance! - Vash
BABIES EVERYWHERE!!!

Inside CM's mind...

CM: This isn't good... I gotta find a way out of here. Wai can take care of himself... I mean, it sounded good at first... but I dunno. Anyway, these guys are a bunch of looneybins. I'm not a villain... I just want Geb... well ... I guess I am a villain in that sense...

CM: But I'm still a hero... if given the chance ... I'd kill all these morons ... I just gotta get out of here, clear my head. And find Geb... If Mimiru is dead... so help you Geb...

Hardcore stuff from CM's head. How will it continue? Will CM ever write such a short post again? The NeSwriters can only hope, on the next post of THE NEVERENDING STORY THREAD ... TO THE 2ND POWER!

------------------
"The future is not determined by a throw of the dice, but is determined by the conscious decisions of you and me."
I am addicted to ellipses!!! AHHH!!! ...

Inside Ahnulds mind...

Ahnuld: Where are the S`mores....

------------------
I’m not going to die, I’m going to see if I was ever alive. - Spike
It's not your right to decide whether they live or die. They deserve a chance! - Vash
BABIES EVERYWHERE!!!



[This message has been edited by SAJN_Master (edited March 06, 2004).]

Back in the plothole...

Qhobeg: there has to be some way out of here...

Qhobeg searches all over the plothole then decides to build a fire and fall asleep next to a tree... when he wakes up the next morning he sees someone sitting by the still burning fire, poking it with a stick

Qhobeg: What the... who are you?

person: Oh sorry to frighten you.. the name's Galrek...

Qhobeg: how did you get here?

Galrek: well, I was walking by the remains of the arena looking for my wallet... i think i dropped it the last time i was there... anyway i fell into this here plothole and saw the light from your fire...

Qhobeg: You wouldn't happen to know a way out would you?

Galrek: No, but maybe we could try that ladder over there...

Galrek points to a ladder that was over in an area Qhobeg looked just a few moments ago and saw nothing... weird huh?

Qhobeg: What the... nevermind let's try the ladder...

Qhobeg and Galrek climb the ladder back to the NeS

Qhobeg: I'm glad that's over...



------------------
wang is within all

The villain’s appetite for ghost stories ruined by Ahnuld, they ate their dinner of roasted.. well, roast, in silence, at which point Ahnuld and Thrawn promptly put themselves in standby mode until the morning. Qwerty takes this opportunity to try to replace the personality chip for a slightly less intelligent one. Just as he is about to touch the panel, Thrawn reached over, grabs him by the neck, and tosses him back to the campfire.

Thrawn: Don't try that again, meatbag.

He then shut himself down again

Qwerty: Damn. I forgot I put that anti-tampering system in. Anyway, I had a question I wanted to ask you, uh...

CM: The name's Cool Matty, or just CM. Anyway, what's the question?

Qwerty: Well, your sudden appearance in the forest aside, how did you manage to burn down that huge area? Even my best flame-throwers couldn't do that.

CM: You have flame-throwers? I thought you said you were mostly alone out here.

Qwerty: Well I am, but I like to invent things and one day I found that if I lit a stream of gasoline on fire I could get a really good stationary flame and one thing led to another and soon enough I had a dozen different flame-throwers. Along with the other weapons I have.

CM: This lab of yours sounds more interesting, not to mention deadly, by the minute.

Qwerty: Well, enough about me. How did you manage to do that?

CM: Well, it was just a spell. Took a lot out of me, but I was really angry. Just needed to let off a bit of steam.

Qwerty: Hmm.. you don't seem to me the person to pull rabbits out of black hats. What do you mean by this magic of yours?

CM: You're telling me you don’t have magic here?

Qwerty: It's obviously possible here. you've demonstrated that most completely with that ex-forest. But I’ve never seen such a display before. It seems like something that I’d like to learn, if possible. Since you seem to be the only person around capable of this, would you mind teaching me? I’m sure it would be an incredible asset for my machines.

CM: Well, I guess I could try. From what I’ve seen everyone is slightly different in how they wield it, but I could give you some pointers. However, it would take awhile, I think, what with you never having seen it before. But I have a bit of a dilemma.

He glances over at the robots for a second

CM: They can't hear us, can they?

Qwerty: Well, I can't speak for that Ahnuld thing, I’ve never seen him before today. But if he's anything like my Thrawn robots, he can't.

CM: I guess I’ll just have to take the risk. the thing is, I’m not a villain, and I don't think you are, either, although that robot of yours seems to be.

Qwerty: No, I’m just a scientist, as I said before. Thrawn42689 was a mistake, and it seems I have a few problems with that personality module, too. Are you suggesting we leave them here?

CM: Yes, exactly. can we get to your lab before the morning?

Qwerty: Yes, but Thrawn42689 knows it's location. However, if we get to the jet, I have nothing else capable of following it. We'll be free of them.

CM: Sounds good. Lets get going.

And with that, the two villains who are not actually villains after all head off towards Qwerty's lab. Will they successfully get away from the two actual villains? Will CoolMatty accept Qwerty as a partner or will he ditch him, too? Find out on the next episode of Starga- er... The Never Ending Story Squared!


------------------
"No good can ever come from staying with normal people"
-Outlaw Star
"Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul"
-Tycho, Penny Arcade
"I'm a Cannabal-Vegitarian. I will BBQ an employee if there is no veggie option"
-DX:IW

Thrawn42689 watches them retreat into the woods.

Thrawn42689: Shutdown my *** . Wake up Ahnuld, we're going for a little stroll.

Ahnuld: May I grope you?

Thrawn42689: No.

Ahnuld. Jawhol.

Little do Cool Matty and Qwerty know that at qwerty's lab Aikanaro, the Lord High Master of Evil awaits them. He is like no other villain ever faced before, for previously the narrator was nuetral. Not anymore, for Aikanaro is a narrarator all to himself.....How will he be defeated? CAN he be defeated? Only time will tell.....

------------------
Life is too important to take seriously
-Oscar Wilde

Bursting through the lab doors...

CM: Aight, where's the jet?

Qwerty: Obviously in the hangar...

CM: Well ... would you mind SHOWING ME?

Qwerty: Oh, right.

They begin heading for the hangar, when they encounter Aikanaro, the Lord High Master of Evil!

LHMoE: BOW DOWN TO ME FOOLS! I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL!

Qwerty: Uh oh! He doesn't look friendly!

CM: I'm getting tired of this villains everywhere stuff...

CM begins casting one of his fire spells...

Qwerty: Oh! I get to see your magic in action! ... Wait... that's fire, isnt it?

CM: Yes...

Qwerty: OH MY GOD DO NOT DO THAT! YOU'LL BLOW US ALL TO HELL AND BACK!

CM: Psh, been there, done that.

Qwerty: What? Anyway, this lab is full of explosive materials. Remember my flamethrowers?

CM: Oh, right. Well fine. Looks like we'll have to go a bit more hand to hand...

LHMoE: Just how I like it. Prepare to die, fool.

CM: Psh, nothing new to me.

CM whips out his rusty dagger, and hands his staff to Qwerty.

CM: Do NOT lose that staff.

Qwerty: Sure.

CM: Okay, Lord of cliche evil and destruction, bring it on.

Aikanaro comes at CM swinging. CM easily dodges the attack, and uppercuts Aikanaro in the chin with his left hand.

LHMoE: How dare you scratch the face of evil!

Aikanaro swings around, exposing claws CM did not see earlier. He slashes at CM's belly, but only manages to tear the cloak CM is wearing.

CM: For a master of evil, you sure are slow...

Aikanaro doesn't stop there. He continues slashing, left, right, left, right. Finally, he makes contact with CM's left arm.

CM: Ow! Sonofa... you're done, you realize that?

Realizing this fight is taking much longer than he wanted, CM teleports in his ultimate melee weapon... THE SMALL STEEL ROD OF D00M!

CM: Prepare for complete Matrix-ripoffage.

In a scene not to unfamiliar to Matrix fans, CM whips up on Aikanaro, pounding him to the ground, throwing him against walls, and generally breaking every bone in the Lord's body.

LHMoE: I did not anticipate the heroes to be this strong... I will have to regroup....

Suddenly, Aikanaro disappears, leaving not a trace of him.

Qwerty: Thank goodness that is---

CM: Shut up. Where's my staff? We got things to do.

Qwerty: Erm... yes sir?

CM and Qwerty continue off to the hangar. What will happen to them? What will come of the new villain, Aikanaro? STAY BAFOBMLAZOOBANGBOOMPOWED!

------------------
"The future is not determined by a throw of the dice, but is determined by the conscious decisions of you and me."
I am addicted to ellipses!!! AHHH!!! ...

Ahnuld and Thrawn42689, using their special robot powers, have made their way to the secret base. They crouch unseen in the hangar.

Thrawn42689: I presume they'll be escaping in this. Attempting to escape, anyway. Stop grabbing me.

Ahnuld: Sorry.

Thrawn42689: You know, that's getting really out of hand. If you can't control yourself, you can't come along. So stop, okay? I'm sure we can find someone else for you to grope somewhere along the way.

Suddenly, a disembodied voice echoes through the hangar. "MIMIIIIRRRRUUUUU."

Ahnuld: Works for me.

CoolMatty and Qwerty enter the hangar. CoolMatty is sobbing into his robe.

Qwerty: I told you to stop shouting things out all the time, damn it!

CoolMatty: I'm s-sorry...I can't help it. I feel so...lonely.

Qwerty: Right. I've been sitting all by myself in my lab for years, and I deal with it.

Thrawn42689: Hey, I was there! What, am I not a person or anything? Well?

Qwerty: What? Oh god, how did you get here?

Thrawn42689: Oops. Err...

Thrawn and Ahnuld lunge at Qwerty and CoolMatty, who make a break for the jet.

------------------
Snail racing: (500 posts per line)
-------@%

The Matrix: Unplugged

I'm a C4D b****!

Ahnuld: Why are we trying to catch them?!

Thrawn42689: Shut up! Just catch up to them!....and get your hand off that.

Ahnuld: Oh sorry. *grab*

Thrawn42689 and Ahnuld stop running and start screaming at each other

Thrawn42689: I said stop that!

Ahnuld: Stop what?!? *grab*

Thrawn42689: That!

Ahnuld: Sorry..Mister Chock-lates.

Thrawn42689: Oh, so typical of you to bring up the past!

Ahnuld: What? Yeah well you snore!

Thrawn42689: ...

Ahnuld: What?

Thrawn42689: I'm a robot. I don't snore.

Ahnuld: Hahaha! You are a robot nah nah nah poo poo!

Thrawn42689:... You know your a rob...*sigh* never mind...

The hero's look at CM and Qwerty getting on jet

Thrawn42689: Hey moron! Thanks to you they are getting away!

Ahnuld: No they aren't...

Thrawn42689: Huh?

Ahnuld: I put a tracking-device-thing on their jet, see it's stuck right there, on the bottom of it.

Thrawn42689: You dolt!

Ahnuld: WHAT?!

Thrawn42689: That's a left over s`more from last night.

Ahnuld: Yes, a SECRET s`more.

Thrawn42689: ... Lets go.

Thrawn42689 and Ahnuld are now forced to use their sexy robot legs to catch up to CM and Qwerty! That really sucks! What is going on? What is the next plothole going to be? What are the Hero's up to!? Will CM and Qwerty go running back to the Hero's or the Villains?! Or maybe some type of Purgatory villainry? (huh?) Find out next time on.....The Never Ending Story Squared![/i]

Ahnuld: Oh wait wait.. By the way. I heard Qwerty and CM plotting last night.

Thrawn42689: What?!?! Why didn't you tell me?!

Ahnuld: I dunno, they were all like "The robots can't hear us" but I could. Isn't that great.

Thrawn42689: No, no it isn't. You should of turned me on so we could of killed them or something....like with a rock...But anyways, I really wasn't shut down. I also heard it. That's why..I mean..*sigh* nevermind. Okay. They thought we were both shutdown..but we weren't..

Ahnuld: Right.

Thrawn42689: But incase I am shutdown next time. I want you to turn me on.

Ahnuld: All right.

Ahnuld grabs Thrawn42689 by the "parts"

Thrawn42689: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?

Ahnuld: You said I was supposed to turn you on.

Thrawn42689: The switch! The switch! When I am off turn me on! as in make me awake!

Ahnuld: Oh..so can I still gra...

Thrawn42689: No.

Ahnuld: Oh yeah, umm. cue the narrator guy again..

Now that we know CM and Qwerty really aren't villains, Ahnuld and Thrawn42689 are going to need some more villain friends to stop the hero's! What will Thrawn42689 and Ahnuld do? Will they chase CM and Qwerty? Find new villain friend? Whatever? Find out next time on THE NEVER ENDING STORY SQUARED!


------------------
I’m not going to die, I’m going to see if I was ever alive. - Spike
It's not your right to decide whether they live or die. They deserve a chance! - Vash
BABIES EVERYWHERE!!!

[This message has been edited by SAJN_Master (edited March 07, 2004).]

As Qwerty and CM race toward the jet, the sounds of the argument reach their ears. Qwerty looks back, and finds an opportunity. He takes out… his tracker? What will that do?

Qwerty: Oh, shut up. I know perfectly well what I’m doing.

Reeeaaalllly. You don't look very sure to me. Hey, what are you picking up now? Looks like a weapon. What are you going to do with it? Threaten me?... Agh, ****! What did you just do! That hurt, you *******!

Qwerty: Yah, I used to have a narrator around here. He really got on my nerves, so I made this. Handy little thing. Now stop distracting me and i may not have to use it again.

Sheesh. What a tight *** . Just kidding! Just kidding! Put the gun down! Thank you. Anyway, Qwerty continues to work on his monitor thing. Cool Matty, at the door of the jet, suddenly realizes that Qwerty is back in the middle of the hanger.

CM: What are you doing now! They won't be arguing forever! Lets just get on here and get the heck out of here! Isn’t that just a tracker, anyway?

Qwerty: Well, not really. It’s also a remote for my robots.

CM: Oh, so now there are going to be more of them!? Thanks a lot! And didn't Thrawn42689 eat that?

Qwerty: No, my other thrawns are on a different signal. Also, Thrawn42689 is the first one that I managed to produce a true AI for. It didn't work exactly as planned.

CM: oh, really? I never would have guessed!

Qwerty: *Sigh* Its always sarcasm with you people, isn't it. There! I'm done! This should slow them down a bit.

Suddenly, accompanied by the whirring of motors, four other robots walk out from the shadows. They look almost, but not quite, entirely unlike Thrawn42689. One is large, almost looking like a walking suit of armor. Another has several evil-looking weapons mounted on it. A third looks like some sort of odd ninja. The last is... a fish? Yes, it’s a fish! Its flopping around and has fins and scales and everything!

Qwerty: Well, I really didn't mean to do that. Oh, well. The other three should do the job.

He then proceeds to run back towards the jet, the two villain robots still arguing in the background. He only stops to pick up a few more things from the piles of machinery that litter even the hanger. One looks suspiciously like a flame-thrower.

CM: It took you long enough. What are those?

Qwerty: Uh... precautions. Let’s just get out of here.

They enter the jet and find it to extremely roomy, despite what it looked like from the outside. It actually has a full lounge area, along with the cockpit.

Qwerty: Just need to start up a few systems...

The jet engines give a start, and begin to burn the fuel. The tank is mercifully full.

Qwerty: Good. I wonder if Thrawn and Ahnuld have noticed anything.

He flips on a switch, and a view from the side of the jet is displayed. The two robots are actually still arguing. The other thrawn robots are advancing on them. Trawn42689 and Ahnuld seem to have taken no notice of them, somehow.

CM: Will those other robots be able to take down those two?

Qwerty: Oh, god no. Thrawn42689 was built with fighting capabilities far in excess of those earlier models. But it will slow them down.

CM: So you’re telling me you made a robot with the capabilities to destroy every other thing in your lab and you didn’t make sure you could control it!?

Qwerty: Um, yes, actually. But that’s in the past. Let’s just get this bird off the ground.

He hits a few other buttons, and the jet engines kick into high gear. The two ex-villains are slammed back into their seats as the jet rockets forward. In a few seconds Qwerty hauls back on the control stick and the jet lifts into the air, leaving the two evil robots behind.

Qwerty: Well, at least that's over with. Now, where are we headed, CM?

THE TWO FLY AWAY FROM THE LAB, AS THE TWO EVIL ROBOTS FIGHT FOR THIER LIVES (WELL, NOT REALLY. BUT IT SOUNDS BETTER THAT WAY). WHERE WILL cm WANT TO GO? WHAT WILL HAPPEN TWO THE TWO VILLAINS? OR WHAT ABOUT THE TWO HEROS? WILL ANYONE ELSE POST ABOUT HIS OR HER CHARACTER, OR DO WE JUST HAVE TO KEEP GOING WITH THIS STORY-ARC? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF THE NEVER ENDING STORY SQUARED!!


------------------
"No good can ever come from staying with normal people"
-Outlaw Star
"Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul"
-Tycho, Penny Arcade
"I'm a Cannabal-Vegitarian. I will BBQ an employee if there is no veggie option"
-DX:IW

*Yet ANOTHER hooded figure steps out of the shadows in the complex. what you can see of his face is gaunt and pale, and on his nose, a hint of a long hook shaped scar flashes pale froma sea of white. he steps in front of the three advancing robots...and the fish...and stands there. he isnt very tall, but is yet imposing. his dark clothes give the impression of one wearing a void.*

*the three charge him suddenly, and in a whirl of special effects that lasts no longer than pi seconds, the robots are all lying on the floor in pieces. the cloaked figure is standing ther head bent, in one hand a sickle, dripping with oil, and the other, a pair of long bladed scissors. he reaches down beside him with the scissors to where the fish was flopping uselessly against his leg, and cuts off it's head.*

*slowly he lifts his eyes to the villain robots. his eyes luminesce a deep, yet faint green. *

Thrawn######: Impressive.

Ahnold: Woah! dude! that was awesome. how did you d....

*the figure holds out his hand motioning for them to quiet.*

Tod: I have a proposition for you.

*His voice is thin yet deep. Quiet, but resonant. at once he seems to speak from within you and without you.*

Tod: You two have shown yourselves to be evil, this much is obvious. i'd like to find out if you can be devious as well.

Thrawn#####: Hah! devious is my middle name! Well, not its not really its Gerald, but thats what it should be.

Tod: Good, i'd like for you to take on a missiAHH! What the hell!

*tod turns to see Ahnold groping him*

Tod: Who in the what hey....how...guh nevermind. get away from me. if you ever touch me again you'll end up like them.*gesturing in the general direction of the dismembered robots.*

Tod: as i was saying your mission is this...

*Eh? Whats this? whats going on? i'm sorry i fell asleep. please someone tell me? i'm gonna be fired! ahh!*

Ahnold: He he he.

*HOW CAN YOU GROPE A DISEMBODIED VOICE!??!? DEAR GOD SAVE US ALL!!!*

------------------
They say only two things in life are certain. Death and taxes. Well, my friend let me tell you....The taxman's dead.

Ahnuld: You asked for it. you silly voice you

I'm the narrator, I can mess you up.

Ahnuld: Oh yeah...that's true...Anyway, we cannot accept your mission. Thrawn42689 and I are trying to catch up to this jet you see.

Tod: Okay, I just totally trashed those robots..See the hood? I'm friggin evil. I saved your life, now please accept my mission!

Thrawn42689: My hood is better then yours.

Tod: Pfffffft.

Thrawn42689: Pfffffffffffft.

Ahnuld: Stop the "pffffffft"ing! We don't have time for this! We have to cath up to Qwerty and CM, no time to rest....well maybe a grabing session here and there but...

Tod: No but..you don't understand I know where to find Ge..

Ahnuld: Shut up!

Tod Thinking to himself: Jeese, I bet they don't even know who this Gebohq guy is..oh well.

Ahnuld: We don't care about your silly mission, we need to find Qwerty, CM and the rest of the heros!

Tod: BUT THIS GUY IS A HE...

Ahnuld: GAH! You don't listen do you! We are already lagging behind! Are you with us or not?

Tod: But, I wa....

Ahnuld: With us? Or not!

Tod: Fine. I'm with you.

Ahnuld: By the way we've never been properly introduced. My name is Ahnuld.

Thrawn42689: My name is Thrawn42689, but my friends call me Thrawn42689.

Ahnuld: ...Right...and you are?

Tod: Tod.

Ahnuld: Your name is Tod...and your a villain? Pfffffft.

Tod: Pffffffft.

Thrawn42689: Pfffffffffft..

Tod: Yeah, anyway, didn't you say we had to get going?

Ahnuld: Yeah...I kind of lied. I have a s`more on that ship. I can find it. Plus Thrawn42689 and I are robots, so we can run like...fast and stuff.

Thrawn42689: Yeah...s`more. *Whispering to Tod* Don't listen to Ahnuld, he is just a...well I guess he can be smart at times, but uhh..He's a moron. Oh and uhh don't sleep to close to him.

Tod: Right...So lets get to it!

Thrawn42689: Wait!

Tod: Huh?

Thrawn42689: Where did you get that scar?

Tod: A dragon, it was a huge fight, you know.

Thrawn42689: ...

Tod: Okay okay, an ogre.

Ahnuld: *cough*

Tod: What?!

Ahnuld and Thrawn42689 look at Tod

Tod: *sigh* *Muttered under his breath* a catfish.

Ahnuld: haha! Did you just say a ca..

Tod: Shut up and lets go.

Thrawn42689: Agreed.

Ahnuld: Thirded!

Three villains on foot, two hero's in a jet! what will happen? Will they EVER catch up to CM and Qwerty?!?! Find out next time on THE NEVER ENDING STORY SQUARED![/b]

------------------
I’m not going to die, I’m going to see if I was ever alive. - Spike
It's not your right to decide whether they live or die. They deserve a chance! - Vash
BABIES EVERYWHERE!!!

[This message has been edited by SAJN_Master (edited March 08, 2004).]

In a rather large complex of caverns ringed with machinery lies a bed. On the bed lies a person in red armor. He is dreaming.

Kiron Nightstrider: *muttering in his sleep* No... that can't be... NOOOOOO!

He suddenly wakes up in the proverbial cold sweat.

Kiron: Whew! What a nightmare. But I keep having it, every night. Surely there must be something to it.

He walks over to a monitor mainframe display labeled "Dreamviewer" and punches up his dream on the computer, in order to, well, view it.

-----

(NSP: Sorry Highemperor -- didn't want to discourage people to wait for you. On that note though, for the other writers, just leave Highemperor's bit alone for now. He'll continue it in another post.)

------------------
Quest on epic adventures or duel at the High Citadel!

[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited March 08, 2004).]

Ahnuld: Quick! Tod get on my back!

Tod: Why?!

Ahnuld: We need to catch up to CM and Qwerty! I'm a robot I can run fast!

Tod: Oh yeah, you and Thrawn42689 are robots.

Tod suddenly remembers what Thrawn42689 said about Ahnuld...so Tod jumps on Thrawn42689's back instead.

Ahnuld: ..huh? Whatever! Lets go!

Thrawn42689, Tod, and Ahnuld start running twoards the jet, which is very far off by now, but the thin smoke trail from behind the jet is just enough for them to follow.

*while running* Ahnuld: I think we should rest!

Thrawn42689: Why?!

Ahnuld: I'm tired!

Thrawn42689: What?! You are a robot!

Ahnuld: Yeah, but I have asthma!

Thrawn42689: You just want to grope me.

Ahnuld: ...Lets keep running.

Thrawn42689: That's what I thought.

Tod: Look! A s`more! we must be close!

Ahnuld: NO! My tracking device! My tastey, puffy, yummy, chocolate, grammcracker, mashmellowey tracking device!

Thrawn42689: Oh look! the jet!

Ahnuld: Where? *THUMP*...........Oh.

Thrawn42689: ...Right there.

Ahnuld: I see that now, idiot!

Thrawn42689: Where is CM and Qwerty?

Tod: I dunno.

Ahnuld: Beats me.

Ahnuld, Tod, and Thrawn42689 start sneaking around the Jet looking for CM and Qwerty

Ahnuld: Oh look!

Thrawn42689: What?! What?!

Ahnuld: I found some very sexy pictures.

Thrawn42689 glances over Ahnulds shoulder

Thrawn42689: GAH! Those were BEFORE I was finished. Qwerty couldn't afford clothes...may we never speak of those again.

Tod: Wow, you are pretty ho..

Thrawn42689: NEVER AGAIN!

Tod: Right, anyway, anyone found anything?

Ahnuld: Nope.

Thrawn42689: Nope.

Ahnuld: Why don't we look in there?

Ahnuld points to a room outside of the jet with an sign above it that reads "CM and Qwerty are here, don't enter..please."

Thrawn42689: Why didn't I think of that..

Ahnuld: Beacuse your an idiot.

Thrawn42689: That was a retorical question.

Ahnuld: Watch your language!

Thrawn42689: retorical?

So, the villains found CM and Qwerty's jet, will they go in the room?! (duh) What will they find? Is CM and Qwerty even there?! Find out next time on.......THE NEVER ENDING STORY SQUARED![/b]

------------------
I’m not going to die, I’m going to see if I was ever alive. - Spike
It's not your right to decide whether they live or die. They deserve a chance! - Vash
BABIES EVERYWHERE!!!

[This message has been edited by SAJN_Master (edited March 08, 2004).]

Our he--I mean, villains stand outside the mysterious room.

Thrawn42689: Look, Ahnuld, you can go in there first. I'd like to wait out here with Tod for a bit.

Ahnuld: Okay.

Ahnuld takes the hot pictures and goes inside.

Tod: So...you from around here?

Thrawn42689: Look, we need to talk.

Tod: What about?

Thrawn42689: Well, it's like this. You know that fish you decapitated back at the lab?

Tod: Oh yeah, haha! That was cool.

Thrawn42689: No, it wasn't cool, and here's why. A long time ago, when I was first built, Qwerty accidentally buried me in an equipment locker. The only other living being in there to keep me company was...Amy.

Tod: Amy? You...you mean...

Thrawn42689: Yes. Amy was the fish. She was my only friend...in the world.

Tod: You mean...

Thrawn42689: Yes. We became very close. By the time Qwerty rediscovered us, we had several children. The b****** promptly used them in his twisted experiments. I've hated him ever since.

Tod: I'm...I'm sorry. I wish there was something I could do...

Thrawn42689: Can you bring back the dead? Because that would be really, really great.

Back in the NeS at the rubble that was once the HoH we see Qhobeg looking around

Qhobeg: where is everyone?...

Qhobeg walks around looking for some sign of life...

Qhobeg: looks like nobody is here.. oh looka gamecube...

Qhobeg sits down and plays the gamecube

------------------
wang is within all

Tod: No, sorry, I can't bring back the dead...but I can buy you a new fish that looks exactly like Amy!

Thrawn42689: WHAT?! Nothing can replace Amy...

Tod: I'm really sor..wait...how did you have children. You being a robot, and a human sized one at that. Amy being a small...fish...Things don't add up.

Thrawn42689: Yeah..hehe...it's was uhh all a big joke...HAHAHAHa..see it was funny!

Tod: Ohhhhhh, you got me! hahaha, good one Thrawn42689!

Thrawn42689: Yeah...

Thrawn42689 turns his head and sheds a tear

Ahnuld: Guys?!

Thrawn42689: Oh, comeing!

------------------
I’m not going to die, I’m going to see if I was ever alive. - Spike
It's not your right to decide whether they live or die. They deserve a chance! - Vash
BABIES EVERYWHERE!!!

[This message has been edited by SAJN_Master (edited March 09, 2004).]

Back in the dark, scary hallway, Gebohq still treads inch after inch, hugging the wall. Sounds of the occasional stretching walls and random pindrop sounds echoing are the only signs of life that could be sensed. And Geb's feet hitting the floor as he moved. And his breathing. And the sound of his clothes moving with his limbs.

AND SOMETHING SCURRYING PAST GEBOHQ!

Geb: HOLY ****!!!

Gebohq whips his plothole pistol around and shoots. Several rounds are fired, and then clicking of the trigger as his ammo apparently ran out. The floortile is now non-existant, save for a little smoke rising from it. A rat stands paralyzed next to the non-existant tile.

Geb: Er...whoops.

rat: You *** !

Geb: Sorry!

rat: Fuqoff!

The rat then scurries away in a nearby hole in the wall, leaving Gebohq alone. Again. And now without any ammo.

Geb: This isn't good... where the heck is everyone?

Just then, a blood-curdling scream is heard, though from where it came, Gebohq could not tell. If only he knew, so he could run the other way...

Geb: Shut up! You're not helping!

Will Gebohq find his friends? Will he figure out where he is? When did the plot-hole pistol have limited ammunition? Find out in the next post of the Never-ending Story Thread!

*deep within the mind of Tod*

Tod: (lost in thought) These two are imbeciles. but they think, or at least the blue one thinks he's a genius. they'll never work. Ahuld maybe. but hes too...homosexual. and its a good thing i made up that bit about the catfish..i would want to have to tell them about the waffle iron.

time for plan b

*Tod turns to the two robots and addresses them.*

Tod: ah, excuse me fella's but i need to ah, relieve myself. i shall return shortly.

Ahnuld: need some help?

Tod: ah, no. that wont be necissary. thank you.

Ahnuld: well if you need me holler.

Tod: Right.

*tod gebs it. gebs it to the nearest shadows where he promptly disappears.*

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They say only two things in life are certain. Death and taxes. Well, my friend let me tell you....The taxman's dead.

Cue another chapter in NeS history, Things That Go Bump in the Night, enjoy.

Oh, well obviously it's not called "Things That Go Bump in the Night Enjoy", there's meant to be a gap there.

Chapter 1435,624: Things That Go Bump in the Night Enjoy

*TLTE awakes, finding himself feeling decidedly immobile. He is also unable to move.*

TLTE: Hmm...I appeared to be strapped to a bench. This will make movement challenging at best.

*Lightning and thunder agree ominously in the background. At this point, a door that is out of TLTE's vision creaks open and screeches shut. TLTE does a quick survey of what he can indeed see, and surmises that he is in the bowels of Ye Olde Mad Scientist Dungeon.*

TLTE: It would appear that Geb was wrong, the 8th dimension is apparently a rudimentary measure of a Cliche...

Voice: A valid theorem, my plucky little Russian!

*A mad scientist walks into TLTE's view. Except this mad scientist is not just ugly, as befits most mad scientists. This particular one is...ugly ugly. He is the visual equivalent of nails down the blackboard of beauty. He is the fly in the soup, the bee in the bonnet, the wasp in the posterior of presentability.*

TLTE: You're ugly.

Mad Scientist: And you're at my mercy. So you might not want to draw attention to my misgivings again!

TLTE: I can't help it, ugly. My subconscious mind is rebelling at the sight of such a hideous attempt at humanity. Please, cover up! Wear a paper bag!

Mad Scientist: That's IT! Now I'm not even going to tell you why you're here and how to get to the 8th dimension!

TLTE: Would you tell me how it's possible that your parents willfully gave birth to you?

Mad Scientist: I'm warning you!

TLTE: And indeed, why they kept feeding you-

Mad Scientist: You'd better shut it-

TLTE: -nourishing such a vile wart on the figurative anus of evolution?

Mad Scientist: That's it!!! Fire the laser!

*TLTE is still talking as he is blown into his component atoms. But really, it wasn't his fault. The guy was that ugly.*

EGAD! What has happened to TLTE now? Has he kicked the bucket for good? Has he passed onto the next plane of existence, where no doubt Absolver lies in wait to boot him in the backside? Or is being blown into component atoms just another day at the NeS office?

Well, I'd hope not. I mean, who would work at an office where the daily routine consisted of being reduced to the building block structure of your very essence? Some may argue that being so transfigured would cut down on the actual work one would presumably have to do at said office. And the pay would naturally be quite good to warrant such a bleak occupation. Not to mention the applications of hazard pay, which are obviously limitless. Yet there has to be some kind of twisted ethicality to hire employees on the sole proviso that they will be blown into very basic pieces of structure. What would be the point? Would the employer be fulfilling some sort of sadistic end? Would he enjoy it that much that his professional courtesy, not to mention his basic conscience, would go figuratively 'out the window'? And one would imagine that the actual workload, if for the sake of argument we assume exists out of the context of 'come to work, get blown to bits, punch out', would be literally piling up. Environmentally speaking, it would be much more rational if the employees and employer worked cohesively to reduce the rapidly-amassing piles of work to their component atoms, if only for a day. Then, if still unconvinced, everyone could resume their (in this author's opinion, fruitless) self-destructive toil, and relative equilibrium could be returned.

At this point, I'd like to apologise. The writer of this post was in one of those indefinable 'weird moods', and attempted a zany post. The results, as we can see, aren't pretty. But we've already covered not-prettiness in this post quite enough.

In fact, why don't I just stop writing now?

*And TLTE the writer breathes out.*

Thrawn42869: Hrmm... well this IS interesting...

Inside the jet, a post it note sits on a desk. It reads:

To the morons:
We are obviously not in the jet, nor have we been for most of the ride. Qwerty and I thought you'd like to know that by now you have no chance of finding us. We are probably 200 kilometers away from you by now.

Have fun!
CoolMatty & Qwerty

PS: You both are morons
PPS: This jet will self destruct 1 minute after you have entered.


Ahnuld: Wow. That last part sounds like fun!

Thrawn: How long have we been in this jet?

Ahnuld: Uh.... 57.6 seconds.

Thrawn: Crap.

Suddenly a spark ignites the jet fuel, and the plane promptly explodes. A fireball rises into the air which can be seen for miles, and heard for many, many more.

Tod: What the... Holy... glad I gebbed it when I did! I knew something was going to happen hanging around those morons.

Meanwhile... 200kilometers north-northeast of the jet...

CM: Nice idea, with that bomb. You think they're dead?

Qwerty: Well, I can't say for Ahnuld, but Thrawn is probably fine.

CM: What? That explosion was huge! I mean, we felt it from here!

Qwerty: Well, he was my best creation.

CM: Just dandy. Well, I bed that Tod character was taken care of.

Qwerty: Oh indeed. A organic being could not have survived that blast. So where to?

CM: Well I think we should camp out for the night. I'm totally worn, that teleport took a lot out of me.

Qwerty: Ah, I see. Even mages need rest at some time, I guess.

CM: I really wish you would stop calling me a mage. I'm not a mage. I'm just a plain human being.

Qwerty: Well, it's a title really, not a species. You know, like Patriarch or the like.

CM: Well call me a wavemaster then...

Qwerty: Wavemaster? But... that has nothing to do with fire.

CM: Neither does mage.

Qwerty: Mages cast magic. You cast magic.

CM: Wavemasters are masters. I am a master.

Qwerty: Of what?

CM: ... Mastery?

Qwerty: I have concluded that you do indeed need some sleep. You can't even speak coherently.

CM: Bah... what do you know...

CM sits down, and immediately falls asleep. Qwerty takes it upon himself to start a small fire, and get ready himself.

Qwerty: Stupid fires... I wish he was still awake so I wouldn't have to try and light this thing.

Qwerty sits at the pile of wood, rubbing sticks together. After 15 full minutes of futile efforts, he suddenly gets an idea.

Qwerty: Of course! My flamethrower!

Qwerty pulls out a flamethrower he had stuck in his bag. He aims it at the wood and lets go.

Qwerty: Time for fire!

Suddenly, a jet of flame shoots out, and incinerates the wood.

Qwerty: Bah, too strong. Well, I guess we're going without a fire...

Qwerty lays down, and goes to sleep also. What will happen to them? What will come of Thrawn and Ahnuld? And what of Tod? STAY KJDSKFJGSKDFJS BLOBLED!



------------------
"The future is not determined by a throw of the dice, but is determined by the conscious decisions of you and me."
I am addicted to ellipses!!! AHHH!!! ...

Ahnuld and Thrawn42689 fall into the large plothole the explosion made, but quickly get out, un bruised...because they are friggin robots. and being evil and a villain adds +3/3 to your HP. /taps mana

Ahnuld: Wow, lets do that again!

Thrawn42689: No.

Ahnuld: Hey...Where’s Tod?

Thrawn42689: Good question. He went to urinate a while ago.

Ahnuld: Wait, weren't we in the room with th..

Thrawn42689 points to the plothole

Ahnuld: Oh yeah...

Thrawn42689: Anyway, CM and Qwerty obviously aren't here.

Ahunld: Hey look! 200 kilometers north-northeast! See that?

Thrawn42689: See what?

Ahnuld: That smoke!

Thrawn42689: Smoke... 200 kilometers away..

Ahnuld: I did always have great vision.

Thrawn42689: What do you see?

Ahnuld: Sm...

Thrawn42689: Other then smoke.

Ahnuld: Oh, umm I see CM and Qwerty.

Thrawn42689: Oh oh oh! What are they doing!

Ahnuld: They are dead!

Thrawn42689: WHAT?!

Ahnuld: Yeah, they seem to be dead, but they seem to be twitching and drooling under some sheets!

Thrawn42689: What? If they are twitching then they aren't dead!

Ahnuld: Wait, look for yourself!

Ahnuld removes a piece of metal from the back of his head, revealing binoculars

Thrawn42689: Woah...Talk about empty headed.

Ahnuld: Shut up.

Thrawn42689 looks through Ahnulds binocular eyes...then stops and turns to look at Ahnuld.

Thrawn42689: You...are...an...idiot.

Ahnuld: What?

Thrawn42689: They are sleeping!

Ahnuld: That was my seco...fourth guess.

Thrawn42689: Well, we don't have a moment to lose! Lets go get `em!

Ahnuld: Wait, before we go, you might want to hit my switch.

Thrawn42689: Huh?

Ahnuld points to his GROPE switch, which has been turned to off by the force of the explosion

Thrawn42689: I'd rather not.

Ahnuld: Fine, be that way.

Ahnuld and Thrawn42689 are on there way. Watch out Heros![/b]

Ahnuld: I thought you were on our side?

I didn't actually warn them, it's just for effect.[/b]

Ahnuld: I knew that.

Right...[/b]


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I’m not going to die, I’m going to see if I was ever alive. - Spike
It's not your right to decide whether they live or die. They deserve a chance! - Vash
BABIES EVERYWHERE!!!