*MaybeChild and Tony stumbled about the pitch black cavern dragging TheOtter, who was beginning to go through serious alcohol withdrawal, behind them. As much as they adjusted to the darkness, all that any of them could make out were each others eyes, scooby-doo fashion.*

MaybeChild: So, who's brilliant idea was it to not bring a flashlight on this excursion?

Tony: Don't look at me. I'm new here. How was I supposed to know this cave didn't have electricity?

TheOtter: Dayzeee... dailzee... gim me yourl answerr tru...

Maybe: I knew I should have brought some rope...

Tony (in an irish accent): You and your frikkin' rope!

Voice: Oof!

*While walking along, having this wonderfully civil chat with his companions, Tony bumped into somebody standing around in the darkness. Another pair of eyes joined the rest.*

Tony: Who's there?

Voice: I'll have you know I didn't spend 4 years in serving finishing school to be questioned in that tone of voice!

Maybe: Haggis, is that you?!

CookedHaggis: Yes, it is I, snoot officionado and waiter extrordinaire, CookedHaggis.

Otter: Blu got N-eeee buuz?

Haggis: I see the degenerate is up to his old tricks.

Maybe: Actually, he's going through withdrawal. Apparently, his spirits were taken from him upon entering this dream-place-thing.

Haggis: A dream, huh. That explains why I'm no longer with the Viking. And in my underwear.

Maybe: You too? I mean, I'm in a swimsuit, but it's demeaning anyway.

Haggis: Actually, no. I was joking. But my serving tray is missing...

AnotherVoice: Hail, my fine feathered friends!

Otter: I ain' no birday... shluu are yu?

Voice: Now now, I was just using a figure of speech.

Otter: Spleech, spreech... you got buuz?

Voice: No, but I know where you can find some.

Maybe: Uhh... why can't we see your eyes?

Voice: Oh, I'm just wearing a mask.

Maybe: It's pitch black here, who are you hiding from?

Voice: That's irrelevant. Just trust me when I say I'm not here to hinder you... (under his breath) much.

*At that, a soft glow filled the room. The figure of Zania stood before the heroes, holding a small kerosene lamp.*

Otter (gazing upon Zania's mask): Ith Hishturies Greeatesht Monthuur!

Zania: Yeah, I seem to get that a lot.

Tony: That aside, you require something from us in order to gain your help? Seems like a typical attitude... for a self-serving villain!

Haggis: Who's the new blood?

Maybe: Some fool who lost his saucepan and is apparently trying to be a cliche hero for a moment. He's got a lot to learn.

Haggis: Indeed.

Zania: Now then, in exchange for my help, all that I require is a lock of MaybeChild's hair, half of CookedHaggis' moustache, and TheOtter's liver.

Tony: See! He's going to kill TheOtter!

Maybe: And that would be so bad?

Zania: No, no... I'll give him a new, better liver. One made of steel that can process alcohol into his bloodstream faster, rendering him drunker, yet alleviate the hangover afterward! As for the hair and moustache, I have this lantern and information in trade...

Haggis: Information, you say...? Well, I have no objections.

Tony: I do! He's obviously a... uh.. er.. I don't like it! I mean, he doesn't even want anything from me!

Maybe: Oh, shut up. If it helps us get out of this dank cave, I'm all for it.

Zania: It's agreed then.

*Zania procures a scalpel, razor, and frying pan from his pouch pocket in the front of his sweatshirt.*

Censor: The following scene is far to graphic for children, old people, and frogs. Instead, here is some soothing music and images of kittens playing on the beach.

*Kittens play on the beach to the soothing sounds of Kenny G. In the background, screams of pain from TheOtter echo. 2 trims and a successful liver transplant later...*

Zania: There now, these will do nicely. Here is your lantern and your information: Follow this tunnel. At the forks, take a right, a left, and two more rights respectively. Then, at the dead end, spin around while singing the hokey-pokey. That should cause you to pass out momentarily. When you wake up, you'll be in Germany, just in time for Oktoberfest. I'm pretty sure you can find some booze there, as well as a serving tray, a saucepan, and possibly one of those cute traditional German dresses. Oh, and perhaps your original items will be there, too.

Tony: I'm still not sure why you didn't take anything from me.

Zania: That's twofold. For one, I didn't have anything else worth giving, unless you wanted a nice fresh kidney... And secondly, you're not really an established character. You should find your place first. Then maybe I'll take something precious to you.

Maybe: So, who are you under that mask...?

Zania (looking around to make sure nobody else is listening): You really wanna know...? I'm... COBRA COMMANDER!

Haggis: Uh... right. Got any proof?

Zania: DESTROY THE JOES!

Haggis: Works for me. Let's be off then.

*And thusly, another bizarre chapter of Zania's harvesting concludes. Fortunately, this one wasn't quite so heavy-hearted. This narrator was starting to worry that we'd lost our sense of funny. Tune in next time for Dr. NeSlove or How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Random Boondock Saints Reference!*

*The front door of the HHH creaks ominously open. Light plays onto the surrounds as three shadowy silhouettes emerge in the frame. One is defiantly feminine, the other two macho; a taller, shrouded figure and a shorter, ominously swirling figure respectively. They emerge-"*

Mimiru: Tell me whyyyy I neheever want to heeeear you sayyyayayy, Iiiiiiiy wannnittt thatttta wa-

TLTE: I'll kill you!!!

Mimiru: Right, right. sorry.

CM: Hardly very gentlemanly of you, TLTE.

TLTE: There's a saying about glass houses and stones being thrown that you would do well to look into, mageling.

*CM blanches, then stops as comprehension dawns on him. Gingerly, he removes his hands from Mimiru's throat.*

CM: Sorry, Mim.

Mimiru: That's OK, Matty. And don't ever call me Mim.

*TLTE stalks into the HHH, CM and Mimiru following behind. They wander over to the dining room table, whereupon TLTE snatches up a jug of water and pours glasses for the three of them. Courteously (or perhaps, straining to make up for recent indiscretions), CM holds out a seat for Mimiru at the table, sidling up to sit next to her. TLTE stands, back turned to them, sipping at his water and mentally purging Backstreet Boys riffs.*

TLTE: So, what now? We just wait here for jEDI kIRBY the White to send us on his errand?

CM: Well, that was the plan, yes-

TLTE: Typical. There are always pawns around for him to wrap around his little finger, aren't there...

*CM grits his teeth, staring at the Russian spymaster's back and imagining all varieties of projectile magics.*

CM: Mimiru and I aren't "pawns". We care about our friends enough to want to help them.

*TLTE laughs, his back still to them.*

TLTE: Get a pen, mageling, and write this one down, because it's a keeper. jEDI kIRBY is not your friend. He's using you for his purpose. When he's done, you'll never see him again. If you're lucky.

CM: What's that supposed to mean? And what have you got against him anyway?!?

TLTE: He killed me.

*There is an uneasy pause. CM looks back down at Mimiru, who slowly puts her glass back on the table with a soft 'clink'. CM studies TLTE, but the Russian still has his back to the table and them.*

TLTE: Suffice it to say, we aren't, how you say, bosom buddies, da? I'd rather see him on the business end of my motherland's nuclear arsenal than go on a mission for him, if it's all the same to you.

*CM rises from his chair. Mimiru lays a cautionary hand on him, but he firmly pushes it away.*

CM: Well, we're going with him when he gets here. And you can come, or you can stay behind. Don't feel like you'll be doing us any favours by coming, though.

*Slowly, TLTE turns to face him, his eyes glinting with some unreadable emotion.*

TLTE: We're not done yet. You and I.

*CM locks his jaw, facing TLTE down. TLTE's hand slowly places his glass on the table, eases across to his coat, draws it backward-*

Mimiru: CM!!

*She jumps in front of the mage, grabbing his shaking hands and downplaying the standoff.*

Mimiru: Remember you said you'd show me the....thing.....before we left?

*CM glares at TLTE, who smirks and turns back around to leave.*

CM: Right....the thing.

TLTE: I've got things to do. I'll see you two later.

*TLTE takes two strides, and is nearly out of the room when CM opens his mouth.*

CM: I suppose then you will be joining us on the mission then, TLTE? If only to keep up with me?

*In response, there is a loud crack, and CM's glass on the table explodes into a million fragments. TLTE stands in the doorframe, back turned to them, his Springfield-Wesson smoking back over his shoulder.*

TLTE: I'm looking forward to it...mageling.

*Jim7 and Qhobeg walked towards the big top tent. The smell of peanuts and popcorn and cotton candy filled the air. Circus music echoed about them. But what drew their attention was a figure in a neon green hooded sweatshirt and a top hat on top of the hood.*

Zania: Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, and witness a show of absolute wonder! Marvel at the rabbit that may or may not come out of my hat! Ponder how I can get two solid rings to link and then unlink! But first, my greatest trick. And for that, I will need a volunteer.

*Zania looked out to his audience of Jim7 and Qhobeg. Qhobeg raised his arm and started flailing about, obviously wanting to be a part of the magic show.*

Zania (pointing at Jim7): You sir, come over here.

Jim7: Why don't you take my friend. He seems a bit more... enthused.

Zania: Nah, you'd fit the role much better, methinks.

Jim7: *sigh* Fine, what do you need me to do?

Zania: Well, all you have to do is climb into this wooden box here.

*Jim7, hoping to get this niusance out of the way as quickly as possible, climbed into the box, which conveniently had holes for his head and feet at their respective ends. Zania pulled a large, rusty saw out from under the box.*

Zania: Now, I shall saw this gentleman in half! Any pregnant women or the faint of heart would do well to look away...

*Zania sawed straight down through the middle of the box and then pushed them so that the center part, where the saw had gone through, pointed towards him. He then reached the saw into the hole and started to fumble around.*

Jim7: Uh... what is it you're doing now?

Zania: Nothing to worry about, I'm a professional.

*After another minute, Zania pulled out what appeared to be a rib.*

Zania (looking at his watch): Oh, time for my coffee break. I'll see you guys later...

Jim7: WAIT! COME BACK HERE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT?!

*Zania ran off into the distance, making sounds similar to Curly... or possibly Dr. Zoidberg.*

Jim7: Qhobeg... a little help here...?

Qhobeg: Shouldn't we wait for the professional to get back from his coffee break? I mean, he knows what he's doing, right?

Jim7: Just come over here and put me back together so I can smack you.

*Once again, Zania has gotten away with a piece of yet another character. This narrator must ask: When will the madness end?! Oh wait, this is NeS²... Nevermind then.*

The world and everything in it slowed to a standstill as JKtW fell to his ultimate doom. The shock from Qwerty's blast had completely jarred his entire structure. The wizard felt every material within him collapsing and bubbling.

Was this it? Had the NeS required this? Was this moment set in place to be the end of The Hands of the Plot?

Yes. The answer spoke to JKtW as if instincts. He knew.

JKtW hit the floor, his body fading in and out of existence. A hanging lamp rocked back and forth, throwing light over the small pink body, sprawled out on it's side. A pool of blood grew around his body like fireworks in the middle of July. The night, the beauty, the warm air, the laughter.

Qwerty [Laughing] The white wizard falls at the feet of Qwerty! You should have let the girl have me, she seemed to do quite a better job than you! Foolish little balloon... hahaha!

Qwerty continued to laugh, as the sprawled and translucent corpse of JKtW shimmered in and out. In this moment, this last breath, JKtW realized what must happen.

JKtW [Mumbles]

Qwerty [Surprised] What!?

JKtW [in a quiet voice] But you don't understand, do you?

Qwerty What are you babbling about!?

JKtW I may have fell... but the NeS...

JKtW stood as he spoke, now sure and louder than before.

JKtW The NeS commands that you will fall, and-

He rose his arm, blood dripping from a wound just below it. As he spoke, a white glow encircled his hand

JKtW And I always seem to follow through. You-

A long shaft of electricity appeared within his hand, striking out in a chaotic and uncontrolled burst

JKtW Must-

He suddenly pulled back his arm down to his side, his other hand aiming to the point of Qwerty's heart

JKtW Fall

As he spoke this word, the sword jerked foreword as JKtW shifted all of his weight in Qwerty's direction. The sword of lightning slammed through Qwerty's heart, sending a blast of electricity out in all directions, the monitors, windows, and doors of the building exploding from the sheer power. The roof tore open, lightning touching down from a cloud that had accumulated above the room. Qwerty stood still, as if suspended in time, his face strikes a look of surprise, as his body crumbles in the direction of the blow. JKtW drops his arm, and a second later the lightning dies out.


Qwerty But... you fell

JKtW As did you. The plot could not allow the power of the EeP to exist within both worlds. He'd attempt to escape his inevitable end within the dream world and enter your body. I had to interfere.

Qwerty But... what about the... balance?

Suddenly, JKtW noticed an odd jerk from Qwerty. A second later, his essence jerked about, as if trying to escape. At first, JKtW thought it was his soul leaving his body. But then, a moment later, a black essence appeared just above Qwerty. EeP was attempting to pull out of Qwerty. JKtW had destroyed all essence of darkness within Qwerty. EeP was actually tugging on Qwerty's life force itself, rather than any dark force that'd been transferred to Qwerty.

JKtW acted fast, knowing his own time was soon to end. He bent down, placing his bruised and battered hands over Qwerty. He pushed back the darkness, allowing Qwerty's soul, his essence, to break free from the darkness. He took every last ounce of energy from himself, and pushed it into this body. JKtW entered into Qwerty's vessel.

In this instant, JKtW realized what he had done after the fact. Realized that what he'd done would truly save the NeS for all times. Realized that this moment was his meaning. This moment was the defining moment of his existence as the hands of NeS.

Arkng Thand And so, Anti-matter (The EeP) met Matter (The Essence of NeS, JKtW) within this poor tormented soul known as Qwerty. Everything VS Nothing. Existence VS Inexistence. The Pencil VS the Eraser.

The Story VS the End of the Story. The two atoms of opposite polarity met in a single instance, and separated as something else. Light was set apart from dark. Good was set apart from Bad. Love was set apart from Hate.

The separation of the Hero, and the Anti-hero. The day and the night. The water and the acid.

The wheels had begun to turn, everything had been set in motion, this exact moment defined all before, and after it. The beginning of the never ending war was upon us.

[Noble's turn]

Mimiru: CM, you need to calm down! You can't let him get you worked up like that. You know your temper is very fragile!

CM: Don't tell me what to do.

Mimiru glares at CM, but holds her breath, saving it for later.

Mimiru: So... what does the letter say?

CM: And I quote:

"Be sure to forward this information to all the heroes in the dreamworld.

The EeP has finally met its match. After becoming trapped in the dreamworld, his power has been effectively split.

However, even as such, the EeP is too much for the heroes to handle. But the NeS is on our side, it seems.

The dreamworld limits the EeP's power further. The dreamworld is not like the NeS. The dreamworld does not end. For a world that does not end, the EeP has no power.

The EeP only manages to maintain its rule in the dreamworld by its overpowering desire to return to NeS. Its will is undeniable. Given time, the EeP will achieve its goal, and manifest itself fully again in NeS.

You, the heroes, must stop this from happening. Despite the fact that EeP cannot end the dreamworld, he can control it.

You must find a way to defeat his will. Without a story to end, he is going mad. Once his will is destroyed, it will be a simple matter to defeat him in the dreamstate. And in that, you will find victory.

Although I fear I may not be able to assist in these matters, I do hope the best for NeS, and the heroes that make the story what it is. Good luck, everyone. I feel this shall be a new chapter in the pages of Nes!"

Mimiru: Wow, that's inspiring.

CM: Wow, and to think he wrote all that in ... ahh... AHH.... AHCHOOOO!!!!!

Mimiru: You... didn't!

CM: Yeah... I think I did...

Mimiru: You sneezed all over the note! You idiot!

CM: That's okay, I have great memory.

Mimiru: What did you have for breakfast?

CM: Um... cereal?

Mimiru: YOU DIDN'T EAT ANY THIS MORNING! YOU NEVER DO!

CM: Oh, umm....

Suddenly, a pink object emerges from the tip of CM's staff.

CM: Ahh! What the heck is that!? KILL IT!!!

CM begins to bash the staff into the ground, in hopes of killing whatever is coming out of his staff.

Blob: Enough! I am a kirby! Do not foul me!

CM: A kirby?! Oh! Of course!

PaperboyKirby: I am PaperboyKirby... of video game decent.

Mimiru: I remember that game! It was so stupid!

CM: Haha, yeah! Lots of time wasted on that game! What better than breaking windows with newspapers, eh?

PaperboyKirby: Silence! I have important matters to discuss!

Mimiru: Oh, sorry. Please continue.

PK: The EeP has manifested himself within a mortal in an attempt to return to NeS. JKtW has been challenged to a duel, in which he will not survive.

CM: What?! That's not possible, he's the hand...

PK: No time to explain. Please, listen. This will be the NeS's only chance to defeat the EeP. Without a story to end, he's weak, you know this. But you must find within yourselves the means of defeating someone in the dreamworld. Keep in mind that the dreamworld is not NeS. There are no rules. Everyone is as powerful as everyone else. If you can fully realize the truth behind that, the EeP will not be a challenge. But doubt this in any way, and you will lose. You must...

Suddenly, PK begins to fade, as if he was being erased.

PK: I haven't much time, the time of the Kirbies has almost ended. Quick, go to the dreamstate machine. You will find a bunch of dials. Spin them to the max, and start the machine once more. This will bring you into the dreamstate...

PK begins to fade further...

PK: My time has come. Go, now, save the NeS! Every moment wasted allows the EeP to find another way back to NeS!

CM: But there are still so many questions left unanswered...

PK: No time! ... Why do you stand around? Fly, you fools!

And with those words, PK disappeared. In addition, however, a dark haze appears from nothing, clouding their view. A shrill scream is heard, of which CM distinctly remembers as being the EeP.

Mimiru: We have to hurry, CM! Let's go!

CM still stands there, dazed at the speed of these events...

Mimiru: Com'on!!!

CM: Right.... let us go then...

Silence




The lab floor, strewn with debris.




Qwerty and JKtW




The Eep




So the end of the beginning...




Ends as it began.





The essence of Qwerty... his 'soul', if you will... in torment. A large amount of the Eep's power, transferred to Qwerty, was destroyed by JKtW. In an effort to regain this power, the Eep attempted to take the power of Qwerty's life. JKtW merged with Qwerty in order to cast off the shadow of the Eep... and so ended his saga.

Inside Qwerty's essence, the two forces swirled, collected, and then merged. For a moment, nothing happened. Then, the world ended.

The smoke suddenly clears from the HHoH, and CM looks around.

CM: Ok, I think the machine is in this direction, so if we just... woah!

Mimiru: Yikes! What was that? It felt as if something... shifted?

TLTE: Kirby

CM: hey, I thought you were going to trail us. And what did you say?

TLTE: Nothing, never mind. we have to get to the dream machine.

CM: Why are you in such a hurry now? I thought you never wanted to take a mission for him.

TLTE: As Mimiru says, something shifted. Come!

As he jogged off in the direction CM pointed at earlier, CM and Mimiru shrug, and follow.

Inside the dreamstate, the Eep lay shuddering next to the cauldron, its surface totally black. The Eep managed to speak a few words:

Eep: My.. my power... gone... no, not all gone... I still exist... but... only here...

He manages to haul himself up a side of the cauldron, and peers in.

Eep: If I can just see what happened, back in Qwerty's lab I may... what? Why can't I see? Everything outside of the dreamstate is gone to me... JKtW must have... No! It’s impossible! I'm sure another reason will present itself. First, I have more pressing matters to deal with.

The images on the cauldron swirl into views of all the heroes currently in the dreamstate. All of them (except those currently too insane or uninebriated enough to notice) are displaying confusion at the recent event.

Eep: Good, the heroes are still separated, missing their items, and generally idiots. I still have time to recover from this shock. The NeS must be as confined as I am right now. If I defeat the heroes here, I can still bring about my victory. But first I must recover.

He lowered himself back onto the floor, and lay still.


Nothingness. Emptiness. The real world lacking reality. 1337. The world of the kirbies, and of JKtW. The frame of the NeS, if you will, from where the stage crew worked. Through the emptiness, the infinity, a wave rippled at unimaginable speeds. The emptiness behind it seems... disturbed, though no changes could be seen. And still the wave traveled through its expanse.

On the plane above, however, changes could indeed be seen. On this plane, 1337, in all its infinity, seemed no more then a simple, one-dimensional plane. The wave rippled across its surface, leaving in its wake jagged, burnt lines. As it moved away, the pieces created by this split and swirl, and move amongst each other, sliding in and out of other pieces, as if they were nothing. another wave followed the first, however, and as this wave passed, the pieces seemed to change... somehow. they still swirled, but as they do, they also seem to say in the same place. also, some of the pieces shimmered and became clear, leaving gaps in the plane.

As the two waves reached the edge, a design formed: alternating areas of black and white, in a mostly square design. A chessboard.

On ones side, a shape appeared: a music clef. It shimmered and wavered, and each time it disappeared, a single note sounded, clear and brilliant.

On the other side, a jagged, twisted line appeared. It seemed to writhe and squirm as one tried to look at it, and pulsed sickeningly. As it pulses, a single scream is heard, sharp and brief.

The scene fades.

ends as it began

In a forest, two figures. They lay on the ground, sole to sole. On the left, a decently tall man, dressed in a red vest, black pants, and a long black cloak, which for some reason gives the impression it would really like to be a robe. Waist-length white hair splayed out in all directions around his head, and a stylish white goatee adorned his chin. Where his arm can be seen, his skin was decorated with splotches of white and healthier-looking pink. He looks rather strong, but not overly so.

Unlike the rest of his body, his hands looked bony and gaunt. the skin clung to the bones, and at some parts it looked like there were no muscles at all. His fingernails were blood red, and small red dots splatter the ground underneath them.

Although he showed no signs of being awake, his eyes were wide open, and bloodshot. His pupils were bright pink.

Opposite to him lay a very different figure. Slightly taller, he is dressed in Grey pants and a long white coat that reaches to his feet, buttoned across his chest. The words 'lab coat' irresistibly comes to mind when one looks at this. His hair is only neck-length, but well combed and immaculately styled. A beard surrounded his mouth and grew down to his neck, and this is the only part of him that one could say looked slightly disheveled. his skin was a healthy shade of pink, but gives the impression that it is slightly pinker then it needs to be. His body, however, looked gaunt, and the skin seemed tight around the bones, though a strong musculature can be seen.

His hands only have three fingers, though they seem considerably thicken then normal. In his left hand rests what seems to be a revolver, though a much larger version then normal, the barrel looking to be almost three inches wide. the ground seems wet below the open end of the barrel. one of his fingers rested on the hammer, while the other two grasp the grip. a trigger is not in evidence.

A black blindfold covered his eyes.

Suddenly, the two stir, and sit up, facing each other. Across the backs of their respective over-wear can be seen long gashes and strips of material. the man on the right's splayed out behind him in what seems to be a strange facsimile of the other's hair. the man on the left's however, just lay on the ground behind him.

They stared at each other for a few moments, and the space between them started to bend and twist. As suddenly as it began, however, it stopped, and the two simultaneously looked off to the north. Something seemed to have called to them, for they rose, and walked in that direction, side by side. Behind them ran parallel strips of flowers and dead grass.

After a very strange stretch of time, which could have been either minutes or years, the pair arrived at a lake. in the center lay a strangely beautiful woman, who seems to be hovering every so slightly above the water.

Strange Woman: And so the two arrive, the penultimate forces. Come to me.

The two, without hesitation, walked across the water to where the woman lay. they each stood to either side of the woman, the one dressed in black on her left, and the one dressed in white on her right. Turning to her right, the woman spoke again:

Strange Woman: Mayaal Door.

Mayaal bowed deeply to her.

Strange Woman: Bhac Ssylan.

Bhac only inclined his head, though with great respect.

Strange Woman: From two have become one, from one have there been made two, and from three there is none. The full power of the NeS now lies with you. Take these, as symbols of this.

Two objects then appeared, one to the right side of each of the two men. To the right of Mayaal there was a stunningly white staff, perfectly smooth, with a brilliant shining, clear, teardrop-shaped orb at its crown.

To the right of Bhac appeared a black staff, although the word 'black' hardly seems appropriate. It is so dark that it appeared to be a hole more then anything, though a whole to where is anyone's guess. A round Onyx gem crowned his staff.

Strange Woman: now, my purpose is completed. Go now from this place.

The pair take one last look at each other, and the space between them wavers slightly before the world fades to nothing.


In the Writer's Block, the sounds of raucous laughter, various thumps, and an occasional intelligible statement emanate from an otherwise normal-looking bathroom. There seem to be two people inside.

???: HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Twin staves!! Brilliant! HAHAHA *thump* HA!

???2: Yah, it was, wasn't it? HAHAHA!! This stuff is great *snorting sounds* WEEHEHEHEHAHAHAH!!! *thud*

The two voices continue, but slightly muffled, as if they were talking into the ground.

???2: That chessboard, though. wooeee!! hahahaha!! great stuff!

???: Thanks, it was one of *hehe* my better moments. HAHAHAHAHA!!! Say, do you think we should get off this floor now?

Taking a closer look inside, one sees.. NobleOutlaw the Writer and jEDIkIRBY the Writer? Who would have guessed? Around them lay a thin layer of some strange powder.

JKtWr: HAHAHAHAH!! I dunno, I *HA!* find it kind of comfortable. hehehehe.

NOtW: Oh, look a visitor! HAHAHAHA!! hello! HAHA! *thud*

NOtW, in attempting to get up, only found himself slipping and landing heavily on the floor again. After a few more attempts, he decides to give up. Turning toward JKtW, who was lying still other then the occasional attack of the giggles during this, they stare at each other for a few seconds, and then start another explosive round of laughter as a slight tremor shakes the building

NOtW: hehe!

and the scene fades to black

Arkng Thand Through the ages of NeS, a single thing has remained constant: The need for conflict. Without this, what was once never ending would soon end.

The NeS had grown worried that this constant would soon be dampered out by the EeP. Believed that the EeP could actually threaten the plotline.

From this, JKtW, the hand of the plot, was issued to create a conflict that would forever ensure the continuity of the story.

The meaning of the hand of NeS is to maintain the nuetral standing of the plot. To shift the power from good to evil, and back again. This grew exceedingly difficult for the single hand.

Thus 2 were required.

The dark and the light. The ying and the yang. Two oposing polarities. Mayaal and Bohc.

The two existing in the same world, each being the divine essance of good and evil, created conflict. They nuetralized out. Their constant need, their purpose to battle the other created what the plot needed to continue.

The Hands of NeS, with the powers that comes with the title, would wage the ever ending war for the rest of existance itself. And through this, ensure the survival of the story.

And so it was, it would always be. The Never Ending War was so.

....okay.

So... back to something we actually care about--

Noble the writer: Hey! Kirby and I put a lot of thought into that! The drugs were, uh... just lifting our inhibitions...

That's nice.

JK the writer: We virtually break down the metaphysics of NeS and examine it's existance, and that's what you have to say for it?

What? Just because I read the lines doesn't mean I know what the hell it MEANS. Let's ask the audience what they thought of it.

Not-so-Random Audience Member #1: It blew! It was stupid, like the last two Matrix movies, and the new Star Wars movies!

Questionably-Objective Audience Member #2: We want more comedy! More explosions!

Audience Member Possibly Related to the Narrator #3: More dramatic lines by the Narrator, the best thing the NeS has ever had!

*The Narrator slips each of them a twenty*

See?

*JK the Writer and Noble the Writer proceed to beat up the Narrator.*

...

...

...

Ow, my head hurts... We return in our story with Qhobeg, who has recently freed Jim Seven from his situation.

Qhobeg: So Dad...

Jim: I'm not your father.

Qhobeg: Why are we so powerless in this dreamland?

Jim: I think it has something to do with the EeP.

Qhobeg: What makes you say that?

Jim: Thy flying octopig.

Qhobeg: Huh?

*A flying octopig cruises over their heads. A banner is tied behind it that says "Pandimonium! Blame the Ever-ending Plot! Don't eat pork."

Qhobeg: ...k.

Jim: My thoughts exactly. What I want to know why that freak stole my rib.

Qhobeg: Your rib?

Jim: Yes, my rib. You know, symbolic irony, being Satan and all.

Voice: Not exactly...

Jim Seven and Qhobeg turn to see approaching... a mime and a clown? What does this mean? Could this be in reference to Jim Seven's history with his estranged brother, Kyle Katarn Seven, back on page 45? Could this be an attempt at... *gasp* character development?

Dream on!

No really. Dream on, little NeS. Don't let your fears get the better of you!

Back in the Realm of the Writers

Jim7tW: keep coming...

The Writer's Block continues down towards the filing cabinet Jim7tW is hiding behind...

TWB: Where is he...

Jim7tW jumps out from behind the filing cabinet and lands behind TWB... he then swings his sword...

TWB: what the?

just as TWB turns it's head blood runs from it's neck and the head falls to the floor soon followed by the body

Jim7tW: Finally i can get back to writing...

Jim7tW then disappears just as the other writers look out form their cubicles

IS THIS THE END OF THE WRITER'S BLOCK? WILL JIM7TW ACTUALLY CONTINUE TO WRITE FOR THE NES? EXACTLY WHERE DID HE GET THE NINJA GEAR? ALL THESE QUESTIONS AND MORE WILL GO UNANSWERED IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE. NEVER. ENDING. STORY!

*TLTE, closely followed by Cool Matty and Mimiru, rush up to the dreamstate machine; it hums, ominously.*

TLTE: We're going in.

Mimiru: How do we turn it on?

CM: It's already on...

*TLTE turns his head, observing CM; his eyelids are fluttering rapidly, indicating that he is reaching out with some arcane magicks to touch the minds of the other NeS heroes. He stops abruptly, inhaling sharply and returning to the moment.*

CM: There's trouble. We need to enter, now.

*Mimiru presses a few buttons on the machine, then stands back.*

TLTE: Where do we plug ourselves in?

Mimiru: I don't think that's going to be necessary...

*As she says it, rippling waves of blue energy emanate from the multiple viewscreens, sending the bodies of the heroes slumping to the floor and their minds to...*

CM: The dreamstate.

TLTE: Now, at last I have you in my grasp!

*CM and Mimiru turn to face TLTE, who is grinning tightly, his hands clenching and unclenching at his side. He looks, at that moment, quite insane.*

CM: TLTE..

TLTE: Leave me be, mageling. Go and save kIRBY, if you love him so much...

*CM's stare bores into TLTE, and for a moment not a thing is going to stop him from teaching the arrogant Russian a lesson - and then he feels Mimiru's gentle touch on his arm, and the moment passes.*

CM: So be it.

*He snorts a derisive laugh.*

CM: Good luck with your errand, Russian. Whatever it is....

TLTE: Cool Matty.

*The mage stops, in mid-turn. He looks at TLTE, who stares back at him with a pained, sorrowful glance.*

TLTE: We all do...exactly what we are meant to do. In the scheme of things.

*CM looks at him, strangely touched by the sudden compassion.*

CM: You mean to say you're a fatalist?

TLTE: A man who is dead three times over? No, CM - I'm just fatal.

*He chuckles softly to himself, before looking at CM seriously again.*

TLTE: I'm sorry that I gave you the wrong impression...though we do still have unfinished business.

*CM smiles wryly.*

CM: I know. But I suppose I should ask; why?

TLTE: Why I made out to appear that I was evil again?

CM: Exactly.

TLTE: The answer....is currently holding your hand, standing behind you.

*CM follows TLTE's gaze to see Mimiru, looking stunned toward both of them.*

CM: I don't follow.

TLTE: I'll fill you in later. Go on; do what you have to do. We'll meet up soon enough.

*CM nods, lingers a moment longer, then soundlessly moves away with Mimiru in tow. Alone at last, TLTE gazes around himself; the land is empty, formless and desolate, with only the retreating shadows of his companions to offer.*

TLTE: Where are you.....focus......

*And slowly, laboriously, the land of the dreamstate changes - brought about by the sheer strength of will that TLTE is demonstrating, his surrounds ripple and fold in and around each other, forming wonderous and unimaginable shapes. TLTE strains, forces harder - in front of him, dimly, humanoid shapes begin to form, and a township settles around him. His face red, bending his will to the limit, TLTE makes one last effort and around him, the world phases in to reveal-*

Gebohq: TLTE?! Inconceivable!

Ahnuld: This development is unexpected.

jKTW: TLTE, interesting....

*TLTE, still gasping for breath, pauses briefly as he takes in the background of Astralianismitish. The moment of fatigue passes, and wiping his brow, the determination returns to his features as he eyes the group in front of him.*

TLTE: I apologise for the inconvenience, all of you. But I must do this.

Thrawn: Do what, exactly?

*In response, TLTE pushes past them, drawing a fearsome-looking Colt Python from under his coat and resting it against the head of an old acquaintance.*

Gebiyl: You! Er, hello-

TLTE: I'm going to ask you this only once, Shattered Gebohq;

*He cocks the gun.*

TLTE: Where is Losien?

TLTE, I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to take this idea and run with it. Email me at my xerahchild address if you object!

Gebiyl: Er...

Geb: Huh? That's not Shattered Gebohq, that's Gebiyl... oh.

TLTE: What's in a name, eh, "Gebiyl"?

Gebiyl: Er...

jEDI kIRBY: *peeking out of plothole* He's the Gebohq from the Shattered Thread! OMQ! I just realized that his very existence endangers the neverending war that I just began! Or maybe not...

Geb: I'm confused.

Gebiyl: Er...

TLTE: You would be. For the second, and LAST, time, Shattered Gebohq, WHERE. IS. LOSIEN?!

Gebiyl: Er... why would I know?

TLTE: Because it was during the course of events in the Shattered Thread that she went missing. And you ruled the Shattered Thread during that time.

Gebiyl: But... but...

TLTE: If I ask a third time, it'll be with a bullet.

Gebiyl: But then I'll go to Hell-

A voice booms down from the heavens, saying, "Watch your swearing!"

Gebiyl: I meant literally. *mumbles* Stupid censors...

TLTE: Maybe, Shattered Gebohq. But I'll follow you.

T-2: I'm afraid I can't let that happen.

TLTE: Not another robot.

Geb: 'Fraid so.

Thrawn: You say that like it's a bad thing.

T-2: Prepare to be terminated, The Last True Evil, for daring to harm my charge, Shattered Gebohq!

The Terminator 2 draws a bazooka and fires a missile at TLTE, who is promptly engulfed by flame and smoke. When the fog of war clears, there is only a grim TLTE, his long black coat tattered, but intact.

T-2: Error. This does not compute.

TLTE: The passion of a man long denied overrules EVERYTHING. *promptly blows T-2's central processor with a single bullet to the chest* Now, then. Shattered Gebohq, where-

Gebiyl is gone, having taken the opportunity to geb it.

TLTE: *sigh*

Geb: Hey! That's my signature move, there!

TLTE: Shut up, Gebohq. I must now track down your counterpart.

A hand lays itself upon TLTE's shoulder. He starts to roughly shake it off, but a baritone stops him.

Highemperor: Easy, friend. It's been a long day.

TLTE: Highemperor? What do you want?

Highemp: *closing his eyes for a split second* I know where your beloved is.

TLTE: You do? *more violently than he intends* WHERE?

Highemp: *blowing out his breath* Old friend, she...

TLTE: Where?

Highemp: She went the way of Alole. Of NeShattered. Of all indepth character-building plots.

TLTE: *sudden intake of breath* She's... dead?

The very air seems to grow chill as Highemp frowns.

Highemp: No, goofball. She went to Jupiter.

TLTE: No, I can't believe - she WHAT?

Highemp: *looking at TLTE very strangely* She went to Jupiter.

TLTE: Are you INSANE?

Highemp and Geb are both looking like they want to ask TLTE the same question.

TLTE: Right, right. The NeS... I forgot. So what's Jupiter like in this story?

Highemp: Well, I learned quite a bit about it at Arkng Thand's library.

TLTE: "Our King's Hand"?

Highemp: Arkng Thand.

TLTE: Whatever.

Highemp: Yes, well, shall we be off?

Geb: What about me?

TLTE: You stay here and, uh, be gebby.

Geb: Right. "Gebby". They'll call me the Gebster for this!

Highemp: Um, they already do...

And with a swirling of their respective cloaks, Highemp and TLTE are gone.

-----

In the realm of 1337. Infinite darkness. Dark infinity. Light and ebony. Evil and good. All mesh as one. One becomes infinity, which is dark. Dark infinity. Light and ebony. Evil and good. All mesh as one. One becomes infinity...

Mayaal: So. The realm of leet.

Bhac: It's 1337, foo'.

Mayaal: Whateva. Is there nothing here but the Narrator's voice repeating the same words over and over again, like a broken record?

Bhac: Well, there's us.

Mayaal: But do we exist? Truly, what is existence? I mean, really, is it objective, subjective, a third perspective entirely, what?

Bhac: You get paid to fight me, not to debate metaphysics with me.

Mayaal: But isn't the WHY more important than the what?

Bhac: Look, frankly, I'd rather be fighting than discussing philosophy... well, actually, I'd rather be tarred, feather, dipped in boiling oil, drawn, and quartered than discuss philosophy with you.

Mayaal: Oh, alright. Shall we begin our neverending war? To perpetuate the NeS forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and-

Bhac: All RIGHT, I get the point.

Mayaal: -ever and ever and ever- Oh, right. Sorry, I got that broken record syndrome for a moment.

Bhac: We're the protectors of the plotfractal. So let's get protecting by connecting through defecting.

Mayaal: That made NO sense whatsoever.

Bhac: Yeah... but it rhymed.

Mayaal: Are you getting the sense that HighemptheWriter's gone a little whacko with this post?

Bhac: He didn't get any sleep last night. Well, one hour, but that's tangential. Cut 'im some slack.

Mayaal: *looking at the most recent page in his copy of the physical manifestation of the NeS, ala the script* Yes, but JUPITER?

A voice booms down from the heavens.

GebohqTheWriter: .... point is, WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING ON JUPITER?....

Bhac: *looking up* Wow, that was loud.

Mayaal: But amusing. *shouting* Hey GebohqtheWriter! I don't think they heard you in Cambodia!

Bhac: I don't think anyone heard YOU, much less those in Cambodia.

Mayaal: Have you noticed that we ARE fighting, but only more in this childish bickering sort of way.

Bhac: Hey, cool!

Mayaal: *musing* Speaking of Jupiter, what's it like in the NeS? I know it's a gas giant in the Writer's Realm, and a Roman god in the mythological realm, but in the NeS?

Bhac: Beats me.

Mayaal: So... about that neverending conflict?

Bhac: Yeah?

Mayaal: Should we play a game of poker?

Bhac: Sure.

They conjure up a deck of cards with their staffs and begin playing.

Mayaal: HOT DOG! I win!

Bhac: A little louder, please, I don't think they heard you in Cambodia.

Silence reigns for a moment.

Mayaal: What now?

More silence.

Bhac: Two out of three?

-----

I think I may post more later. That's all for now, though. Thanks! Hope you enjoy!

Footsteps. Running, leaping over dead logs, crashing through the underbrush. Trees whip past as the figure gebs it madly through the forest, glancing over his shoulder now and then in fear. Finally, he slows, and then comes to a stop, panting, hands on his knees.

Gebiyl: "*Whew*, hah, heh, not as young as I used to be, heh, hah..."

Just then, there is a rustle in the bushes nearby. Gebiyl stands up straight, eyes wide.

Gebiyl: "Who--who's there?"

The bushes rustle ominously and growl in reply.

Gebiyl: "Ahhh, Mr. Bear, I see, well, I think you'd like to know that I'm mostly skin and bone, not much meat on me at all, all tough and stringy, probably not the best choice for your dinner..."

The bushes rustle violently, and out bursts a hairy, snarling, growling thing. Actually, it's a hairy, snarling, growling Viking. A really short one. It's Krig!

Krig: "Geb-hock! Krig find you!"

Gebiyl: "Ah, yes, the hairy one. I remember you."

Krig: "What you doing in bushes, Geb-hock? Krig think you bear!"

Gebiyl: "Oh, just out for a stroll. Certainly not running from anyone. Why would I run? I have nothing to hide!"

Krig: "Ha-ha, Geb-hock silly. Krig laugh. Where is other friends?"

Gebiyl: "I really have no idea, Krig. And my name is Gebiyl, actually, not Gebohq."

Krig: "Huh? You Geb-hock!"

Gebiyl: "No, I'm afraid you have me mistaken for my younger self from this timeline. He's Gebohq. I'm Gebiyl."

Krig: "Geb...eeyl?"

Gebiyl: "Gebiyl."

Krig: "Geb...yil."

Gebiyl: "Gebiyl."

Krig: "Funny man make Krig head hurt..."

Gebiyl: "Fine, you can call me Captain Kirk."

Krig: "Cappin Kreek! We go sailing? Krig like sailing!"

Gebiyl: "Uh, I don't think I know how to sail..."

Krig: "Krig teach! Krig good teacher!"

Just then, a voice cries through the trees...

Gebohq: "Gebiyl! Ohhh Gebiiiyl! Where are you? Why'd you leave? I was just gonna offer TLTE some ice cream and scones!"

Krig: "Ice cream! Krig like ice cream!"

Krig smashes through the bushes in the direction of Geb's voice. Gebiyl stands there looking lost until the others show up. The others show up, Thrawn42689 and Ahnuld and the Jellybean Pony, and Geb and Krig. Krig bounces around Geb's feet, yapping excitedly.

Krig: "Krig want ice cream Geb have ice cream? Ice cream ice cream ice cream!"

Geb: "Uh, no, I don't actually have any ice cream, Krig, but I do have a part of a leftover cruller! Want that?"

Krig: "Yayayaya!"

Thrawn42689: "There he is. We almost didn't find you, you ran away so quickly. If that little Viking thing hadn't found you, we never would have!"

Gebiyl: "Oh... really? Say, what happened to TLTE?"

Ahnuld: "Oh, him and some other guy left. Said they were looking for long lost love."

Thrawn42689 quietly hides a tear. Ahnuld puts an arm around his shoulders.

Ahnuld: "Oh, cheer up! We'll find Qwerty and then you can have your revenge!"

Thrawn42689: "Ahnuld..."

Ahnuld: "Yes?"

Thrawn42689: "You have your 'Grope' switch set to 'On' again, don't you?"

Ahnuld: "...maybe..."

Silence.

Thrawn42689: "AAAAAAAIIIIIEEEE!!!"

Thrawn42689 suddenly snaps, pushes Ahnuld away, kicks him in the face, and runs around in circles. Then, he climbs up a tree and stays there, shuddering to himself. Krig looks at Ahnuld as the robot gets up off the ground.

Krig: "Who is you?"

Ahnuld: "I am a robot from the future."

Krig: "From the... Fyoo-chore?"

Ahnuld: "Yes, from the future. I have come to the past to hunt down and kill Gebohq."

Krig: "You want hurt Geb-hock?"

Ahnuld: "Yes. That is my mission."

Krig looks over at Geb, who is standing there looking at Ahnuld. Krig looks back at Ahnuld.

Krig: "You looks for Geb-hock and want hurt him?"

Ahnuld: "Yes, that is affirmative. But he is a rascally fellow. I have not found him yet."

Krig looks back over at Geb, and then back to Ahnuld.

Krig: "Hahaha. You funny tiny-brain man! Krig like you! Make Krig laugh!"

Wow, this is the end of the post! What secrets are Gebiyl hiding? Will Thrawn42689 ever come down out of that tree after his nervous breakdown (or the robotic equivilant thereof)? Is Ahnuld really that slow-witted? Only the NeS knows! And the NeS isn't telling anyone! Except maybe you guys. Eventually. When more posts get posted. And stuff.

Mimiru: Okay, genius, we're in the dreamstate. Now what?

CM: I hadn't really thought that far ahead...

Mimiru: Of course not.

CM: I don't see you making any plans!

Mimiru: Sorry, I just sort of trusted the fact that my boyfriend would know what he was doing. I promise I won't expect so much of you next time.

CM: Thank you... wait a seco...

Wai: So when are we going to get moving?

Mimiru: AHHHH!!!!!

Mimiru turns around, to face Wai right in the face. She screams again, and falls to the ground.

Mimiru: Ow! Oh, WAI! I thought you were injured!

Wai: I was... this is the dreamstate. I simply willed myself better again.

CM: So you were still aware of your surroundings?

Wai: Oh most definately. My systems are far more complex than you suspect.

Mimiru: You are such a mystery, Wai.

CM: What I am worried about now is what you just revealed, Wai. If one can just will himself well, then how will we be able to stop EeP? We won't be able to stop him!

Mimiru: That does pose a problem... after all, he already has developed a strong mind in this dreamstate. To heal himself would be nothing more than a blink of the eye to him.

Wai: Oh, the answer is simple! You simply exploit the single greatest strength and weakness of mankind.

CM: Hunger?

Mimiru: You are kidding, right? Tell me your kidding. If it is hunger, I quit, right here, right now.

Wai: Although CM is wrong, it is related. It is all about the human mind. If you defeat the EeP's mind, then he is unable to recover. Also, if the mind is destroyed here, then the EeP will die in the NeS. One cannot live without the mind. Well, except for robots.

Mimiru: That is a bit of good news, then. So what is our plan of attack?

CM: Plan of attack? We aren't attacking the EeP! Not yet, at least! We must find the other heroes first.

Wai: You don't realize the true power of the dreamstate, do you?

CM: Why do you say that?

Wai: Just teleport us there!

CM: But I don't know where they are, and I would be incapacitated most likely.

Mimiru: I see what Wai is saying. Matt, just will youself to allow teleporting to where people are located. Then will yourself to be able to teleport as much and as far as you like without repercussions.

CM: Umm... what?

Mimiru: You are so dense! Fine, here, I'll do it for you.

Mimiru closes her eyes, and focuses on CM being able to teleport wherever he wants whether he knows where that is or not. She also focuses on CM being able to teleport as much as he wants.

Mimiru: There, that should do it! Let's go!

CM: Uhh, if you say so. Grab my hands.

Wai and Mimiru grab his hands, and he closes his eyes.

CM: So where first?

Wai: I suggest we start with Geb.

CM: Sounds good. Hold on everyone, this may be a bumpy ri---

They teleport, but instead of the 10-15 seconds it normally takes, they appear instantly next to Geb.

CM: --de.... umm, okay, that was weird.

Mimiru: Very. I don't feel like we moved at all.

Wai: That is because we didn't move.

Geb: What the? What happened? One moment I'm next to Krig, who is making quite a mess with a cruller, the next, I am flying through air, land, and sea at 1000000 MPH!

CM: Heh, heheh.... oops. I think I teleported him here instead... oh well.

Mimiru: Congratulations, genius. Quit being so stupid, I'm getting a migrane.

Geb is separated from the rest of the heroes, but ends up with some of the others. Will Geb be torn between two groups? Is the key to defeating EeP hunger? *snipe* I mean... the human mind? What other powers does the dreamstate hide? Find out next time on the Neverending Story!!!

Guy on Cell: This place is awesome! I can have as many cell phones as I like!

GoC: Can you hear me now? How about you? And you? And you? You too? Even you? You also? Good!

Far away, a baby cries, thunder strikes the same place twice, a rock bleeds, and a dead horse is beaten.

Proxy Post for Highemp!!!!

Wai: It appears that we are alone.

Geb: Um, why was I flying over land and sea and space?

Mimiru: Are you sure, Wai?

Geb: I can't figure it out...

Cool Matty: Of course Why's sure, wai wouldn't he be?

Geb: I could really use a little help here, guys...

Mimiru: Don't you mean, "Of course WAI's sure, WHY wouldn't he be?"

Geb: Wait! I've got it! I must be Superman!

CM: Just seeing if you were paying attention.

Geb: I must be really good at keeping a secret identity if even /I/ didn't know about it.

Mimiru: Wai wouldn't I be paying attention to a boyfriend who's so dumb he'd walk off a cliff if I didn't keep a close eye on him?

Geb: Great Scott! If I've figured out my secret identity, who knows how close my archnemeses are to figuring it out!

Wai: Enough of the infighting, please.

Geb: Great Scott! My name is Scott! I've even figured out my real name! I'm in danger!

CM: Maybe so I DON'T walk off a cliff, Mimiru.

Geb: I must protect my secret identity.

Mimiru: Hmm, actually, that might be a good reason to STOP watching you...

Geb: I will shave my head, become uber-rich, own a corporation more vile than Microsoft and say my name is Gex Guthor! Posing as one of my notorious villains will cover up my superhero identity.

CM: Um, but then I'd walk off a cliff... *muttering* at least according to you.

*the whirring of a razor can be heard from the side*

Mimiru: My point exactly.

Geb: Ow! I cut myself! This must be a Gebonite razor...

Wai: Mim, Matt, all this is irrelevant...

Geb: Stupid GexCorp, always manufacturing stuff to destroy me... I'll change that when I take over as Gex Guthor.

CM: Mimiru, please, what's wrong with you?

Geb: Hey, at least I'm bald now. Now people will mistake me for Gex Guthor, a man more diabolical than Bill Gates!

Mimiru: Nothing... except that my boyfriend is so stupid that he can't tell left from right!

Geb: Then, no one will know that I am...

CM: Okay, Mimiru, you're asking for it.

Geb: SUPERGEB!

Wai: Uh, guys...

Geb: Up, up, and away!

Mimiru and CM together: *to Wai* WHAT?!

Geb: Wheeeeeeeeee - *kerplunk* *as he leaps over the side of the cliff, thinking that he's a superhero, but instead plummetting fifty feet to be dashed upon the rocks below*

Wai: Um, it's Geb. He's attempting to - scratch that.. He ATTEMPTED to fly.

Geb: *in a tiny voice from below the cliff* I'm okay!

CM and Mimiru rush over to the side of the cliff, astonished.

CM: Geb, what are you doing down there?

Geb: Great Scott! He's figured out who I am! Oh, wait, that's right, I haven't yet changed into my SuperGeb suit... which explains why I wasn't flying... no wonder.

Mimiru: I swear, CM, if you try to teleport him back to us, and instead, we go flying down there...

Geb: Oh, dear, a threat! I must save the innocent victim!

Geb rips off his shirt, to reveal...

An Austin Powers patented "sexy beast" Hairy Chest-type-thingy(TM)!!!!!

Geb: Drat! Left my costume at home. Oh, well, I got this razor...

CM: Geb! How did you get so much... uh, hair?

Geb: *as he shaves some hair off on his chest to make an S of shaved skin* Expresso donuts, of course.

Mimiru: *drool*...

CM: Mimiru! What are you doing?

Mimiru: *drool*...

Wai: She can't help it. It's Geb's superpower... Geb appeal.

SuperGeb: Great Scott! It's a damsel in distress! She's in a coma! I must apply my Geb appeal.

Geb, now that he is, ahem, "attired" in his hairy chest with a "S" shaved into it and of course red and blue tights and a red cape (though no shirt), is able to fly up to Mimiru. and scoops her up, carrying her away to GexCorp.

CM: Mimiru!

Wai: Nothing you can do, CM. Except maybe get some Gebohqonite. Which, frankly, is useless against that shield of hair on his chest.

Suddenly, a bluerobed hand places itself on CM's shoulder.

Arkng Thand: Greetings, Mageling.

CM: *eyes narrowing* You've been hanging around TLTE, haven't you?

Arkng Thand: *ignoring his remark* Cool Matty, you have been chosen to serve as my apprentice, learning the secrets of magic and metaphysics, NeStian and otherwise.

CM: Look, now's not a very good time- Did you say secrets of MAGIC?

Arkng Thand: And metaphysics, yes, that primarily. Particularly the finer elements of plotwielding.

CM: *drool*

Wai: Uh, CM?

CM: *drool*... magic...

Wai: *sigh* I will accompany you to his tower of Deitopos, Master CM.

CM: Magic... Okay, Arkng Thand, take me to your domain in the dreamstate.

Arkng Thand: Then let it be so.

Highemperor: Wrench.

*The Last True Evil, kneeling on the floor of the dreamstate (which has taken the form of a mechanic's garage), reaches over and grabs a grimy-looking steel tool from a convenient box. Wiping some of the grease off on his charcoal overcoat, he gingerly feeds it to Highemperor, who is lying on his back underneath their very new and very impressive-looking spaceship.*

Highemperor: Ahh, thanks. This should just take a few...more...adjustments...

TLTE: Now Highemp, I don't want to cause you any consternation, my friend, but....well....

Highemp: Yes?

TLTE: We're still in the dreamstate.

Highemp: And?

TLTE: And how is an imaginary spacecraft, here in the dreamstate, going to take us to Jupiter in the real world?! We can't very well pull it out of our noses and take it with us...

Highemp: Oh, that.

*He laughs, unseen underneath the ship.*

Highemp: Think of this as more of a symbol, a means by which we return to our consciousness. In the dreamstate, we'll fly to Jupiter; in the real world, we'll wake up.

TLTE: And presumably, your body is not with mine?

Highemp: A minor inconvenience. I'll be with you shortly after you recover. Oh, hey...

*He pulls himself half-out from under the spaceship, looking sympathetically at TLTE.*

Highemp: I heard about what happened to Absolver. I'm very sorry.

TLTE: Yes...I am too.

Highemp: He was a good man.

*TLTE nods and stands slowly, gazing out at the open garage's view. The dreamstate has managed a sunset, and is now bathed in twilight; whether an extension of Highemperor's will or a semblance of time and space within the dream itself, it is not certain. TLTE reaches out and touches the side of the miniscule but nevertheless remarkable spacecraft, which gleams a polished chrome finish.*

TLTE: This is an extraordinarily intricate spaceship...how is it that you can form objects so vividly in your mind? I nearly passed out merging my surroundings to form Astralianismitish earlier!

*Highemp looks up to favour TLTE with a charming grin.*

Highemp: Mental disciplines, old friend...it's an invaluable payoff when invested in, especially when the NeS branches off into the realms of the metaphysical.

TLTE: The metaphysical, eh? I suppose you're right; it's getting harder and harder to survive in the NeS now with just my sidearm and my Russian witticisms...a man needs a further edge. Do you think you can impart any tips?

*Highemp bites his lip in thought.*

Highemp: Well, I consider myself self-taught in these matters. Your best bet for tutelage in the arts of metaphysics and the nature of the NeS would be Arkng Thand.

TLTE: Yes, you mentioned his name before.

*Highemp twists a few screws and bolts, then tosses aside his tools and gets up from under the spacecraft. Wiping his hands with a sodden old rag, he nods to his discarded cloak over by the entrance.*

Highemp: There's one of his books in there, a sort of treatise on the NeS itself, as well as historical accounts of the leading NeS heroes. There's also a detailed account of how to reach his library.
You should take it.

TLTE: Thanks. And I owe you...

*He loses his words. Highemperor looks at him, seriously.*

Highemp: You owe me..?

TLTE: I owe you a debt of gratitude. For helping me with this. You've done a lot more than you had to.

*Highemp lays a comforting hand on his shoulder.*

Highemp: My friend, you deserve-

*Suddenly, a large explosion rocks the hangar, as Highemperor's spaceship is torn to smoldering pieces. TLTE and Highemp both react in perfect synchronicity, almost mirror images of each other as they pull their cloaks around themselves to shield against the blast. The concussion wave hits them, and they are thrown back against the wall, sliding down and falling onto their fronts.*

TLTE: .....ouch....

Highemp: ...erg...

Voice: My master told me to expect the very voices of eloquence and dignity.

*Both heroes look up from the floor to the origin of the deep, rumbling voice. There at the entry to the garage, framed in the ample moonlight, stands a terrifiyng figure; a black human male, eight feet tall at the very least, broad-shouldered and clad in some kind of heavy cobalt armour. It is akin to plate mail, but it swirls and coalesces, never giving a proper indication to its framework or its craftsmanship. In one massively muscled arm, a Rocket-Propelled Grenade launcher; in the other, a great, blackened axe, a two-handed variant by any measure save the extraordinary strength of its current wielder.*

Highemp: I'm afraid trading hours are over for the day, sir.

Man: Ahh, there it is. The charm. The eloquence. How delightfully refreshing.

*With astounding speed, he whips up his RPG and fires. TLTE and Highemp both roll, flicking up their coats in protection as the grenade lands and detonates. Both of them are launched into the air by the force of the grenades; they land, coats aflame, rolling to protect themselves.*

Man: Can you imagine how long I stood here, in nothingness, waiting for this garage to form so I might destroy you and return to the real world?

*He fires at Highemp, who leaps behind the charred wreck of the spacecraft as it is blown sky high, again. TLTE seizes the opportunity, running diagonally across their foe's exposed flank, drawing dual Ingram microuzis and unleashing a hail of bullets on him. But the mysterious assailant's armour holds; indeed, the bullets ricochet in all directions, repelled vehemently by the strange shifting platemail.*

Man:I told my master that you two would be of no consequence, to instead go straight after the other target, the magus. He hurt me for that...

*TLTE runs at the attacker, drawing his steel sabre in a single fluid motion, pivoting on the ball of his foot and swiping lustily at his chest-*

Man:HAH!

*The sabre is turned, easily, by the armour - and TLTE is forced to bend his entire body backwards as the axe hums in a single, ruthless swipe at his neck. He loses his balance in the maneuver and falls backward, drawing his legs back as the axe buries itself in the cold garage floor. Rolling backwards onto his feet, TLTE has time only to jump to the side as another grenade soars past him, impacting against a support pillar on the side of the room and demolishing a large section of the roof.*

TLTE: Highemp, I could use some help here!!!

*At that moment, Highemperor bursts forth from the flaming wreckage of the spacecraft, a brilliant gold aura surrounding him. The attacker moves to target him; but Highemp is too agile, and leaps forward with a crushing and brutal kick to the stomach that draws on all of his martial and metaphysical knowledge. The blow sends his foe, his boots dug into the concrete floor, scraping across the room to land on, and write off, another subsection of wall...but he does not falter.*

Man: You will both die here. Highemperor, you will never leave the dreamstate, and TLTE...you will never see Losien again.

*Both men grimace, grit their teeth and-*

Highemp: ATTACK!

(NSP: A proxy-post from Highemperor.)

In perfect unison, TLTE and Highemperor leap backwards, agile as acrobats, like synchronized swimmers (dreamers?), dodging the spray of RPGs peppering the air, launched from the blackclad man's weapon. They backflip to and fro, each landing on one knee, unscathed, ten meters away from their assailant as the grenades sail harmlessly past them.

TLTE: *grinning at Highemp* You and me, comrade?

Highemp: Aye.

Blackclad: This place shall be your collective grave, the wreckage of your pitiful spaceship the only monument to your wasted lives.

Highemp: And he calls US eloquent.

TLTE: *shocked* Was that self-deprecating humor I heard, Highemperor?

Highemp: *smiling tiredly* I've changed, friend. I've had to.

Blackclad. Are you even LISTENING to me?

TLTE: Not really, no.

Highemp: We DO have better things to do, you know.

The blackclad man furiously hurls his axe through the air, shredding the Highemp's cloak.

TLTE: Ouch.

Highemp: *disgusted* Do you know how much I PAID for that?

Blackclad: *raising eyebrow villainously* Am I not of import to you?

TLTE: Let me put it this way, comrade. We have Writers on our side. You don't.

Highemp: Besides, we've both died before. It's not like death is a new experience for us.

Blackclad: *scratching his head* Well, how can I possibly threaten you, then?

TLTE: *thinks* You could threaten Losien.

Highemp: Or Geb. Well, actually, no, you couldn't, he's an invulnerable superhero now.

Blackclad: *sobbing*

TLTE: Er, Highemp, how would you know that Geb's an invulnerable superhero now? Only CM and Arkng Thand are supposed to know that.

Highemp: Um... plothole?

Suddenly a plothole opens up beneath the blackclad assailant, sending him to his doom at the bottom of bottomless pit.

TLTE and Highemp look at each, grin, and give each other high fives.

TLTE: Excellent work, comrade!

Highemp: The credit is all yours, friend!

TLTE: *looking at wreckage of spaceship* Well, what now?

Highemp: We could ask Arkng Thand for help.

TLTE: Let's do it, then.

-----

Elsewhere in the dreamstate...

SuperGeb flies with Mimiru in his arms, nestled against him as she drools mindlessly at his Geb appeal all over his hairy chest, landing before a tall skyscraper.

SuperGeb: *setting Mimiru down and kicking open doors* Attention, GexCorp employees! Your master has arrived!

A bunch of people, all wearing BellSouth uniforms, give him blank stares.

SuperGeb: Oh, er, sorry. Wrong building. Could, uh, one of you tell me where GexCorp is?

Random BellSouth employee: Take a left behind this building.

SuperGeb: Thanks. *flies off, forgetting Mimiru, who recovers once he's gone*

Mimiru: Huh? Where am I? Hey, what's all this drool dribbling down my chin???

-----

Deitopos. Library tower of Arkng Thand, in the heart of the dreamstate.

On the second level, in the main library, three beings sit, manilla folders in front of them. They are Erronem, Phoenix, and Alexan. The Potentials.

Arkng Thand: *walking in, with Cool Matty on his heels* Welcome to my library, Tsusaka.

CM: Hey! How'd you know my name?

Erronem: We know everything about you, Mr. Anderson - er, Mr. Tsusaka.

CM: Um, okay.

Phoenix: It's up to you to succeed Merlin as the NeSorcerer.

CM: Merlin? You mean like Excalibur and King Arthur and the Holy Grail Merlin?

Alexan: *laughing out loud* Heck no! He's a nobody. THIS Merlin forged Consilium ex Deo!

Erronem and Phoenix nod reverentially. Arkng Thand gestures to the mantle over the fireplace, where an amazingly crafted sword hangs. CM presumes that this is the aforementioned Consilium ex Deo.

CM: What about the NeSword? Isn't that the sword that Geb wields?

Arkng Thand: Indeed. Merlin forged that as well. For each story, a sword, perhaps physical, perhaps metaphysical... Merlin forged the swords for two stories. Some wizards forge swords for only one; some, for multiple stories.

CM: And what does this have to do with me?

Erronem: Merlin is gone. The Character(TM) whom I represent is left without guidance. He has come to depend on himself.

CM: And there's something wrong with that?

Phoenix: Yes... and no.

CM: Could you be any more cryptic?

Phoenix: Yes... and no.

CM: *sigh*

Alexan: The point, Mr. Tsusaka, is that Merlin is now gone. Geb suffers from his loss, though he does not realize it consciously, and as a result, the NeS suffers.

CM: Suffers? Have you seen the rapid rate of postage lately? You call that suffering?

Erronem: An inconsequential detail. You see, Mr. Tsusaka, that neither the dimensions of quantity nor quality are the sole dimensions taken into account in a story.

CM: Um, no, I don't see.

Arkng Thand: *in a decidedly Yoda-esque voice* Yes... you will be... you will be.

-----

TLTE: So, this is Deitopos.

Highemp: That's right. Arkng Thand's personal citadel, library, and one-professor university.

TLTE: I read that treatise of yours that he wrote on the way over. Pretty intriguing stuff.

Highemp: Arkng Thand is a pretty intriguing man.

They approach the gate, and as one, raise their fists and begin banging on it.

Except that as their fists desced on the door to knock, it opens, revealing the face of Arkng Thand, whom the pair promptly begin to knock upon.

Arkng Thand: Ow... ow... owwwwwww!

TLTE: Er...

Highemp: *sheepishly* Sorry, Mr. Thand.

Arkng Thand: *blinking* Eh, no problem. Happens all the time. You'd think that being precognizant enough to open the gate as soon as people arrive would entail being precognizant enough to dodge their knocks, too, but NOOOOOO...

TLTE: Well, Comrade Thand, we have sought you from far and wide-

Highemp: *aside, to TLTE* Actually, friend, we merely willed ourselves here...

TLTE: Same thing. Comrade Thand, I wish to learn a few metaphysical tips.

Arkng Thand: Come in, then.

They do so, entering the library on the second story, which is now empty of the Potentials and Cool Matty.

Arkng Thand: And now to business. Mr. Evil, you do realize that learning metaphysical power will make you more like your friend Highemperor here?

Highemp: *nostrils flaring* There a problem with that, Thand?

TLTE: Pah. If you mean ambitious, power-hungry, evil... been there, done that.

Arkng Thand: Very well. Mr. Emperor, I must ask you to retire to the other room, while I remain here with your, ah, comrade.

Highemp: *bowing and leaving* Very well.

Arkng Thand: Now then. Mr. Evil, metaphysics is a very... delicate subject. It is a mental discipline unlike any other. It involves a mathematics of creativity. It means giving rules to that which is bound by none. It is a realm of paradox.

TLTE: I'm ready.

Arkng Thand: Very well. Here's your reading assignment. *passing TLTE a book from the shelf*

TLTE: *eyeing the Bible-sized times ten volume dubiously* "The Neatness of Leetness"?

Arkng Thand: I expect a 30-page report on it by tomorrow.

TLTE: *eyes popping* How can I possibly do that?

Arkng Thand: *quirking eyebrow* This is the dreamstate. Lesson number one: time is subjective in the presence of chaos. It bends to your will...

In a laboratory on the 3rd story of Deitopos, Cool Matty is standing before a stone table, across from Shadowlord.

Shadowlord: I have been summoned here by the Potentials to train you, Tsusaka.

CM: Alright, let's get to it.

Shadowlord: Firstly, I want you to create a tiny flame in the palm of your hand.

CM: Done.

Shadowlord: Now, how much can you ignite with that flame?

CM: Hmm, I dunno. Maybe a square foot or so.

Shadowlord: NO! You can ignite NOTHING with that flame.

CM: Well, actually, yes, I-

Shadowlord: NOTHING. Flame requires oxygen to burn. Without oxygen, the flame ignites nothing. It is the presence of oxygen in a substance - rendering it flammable - that ignites itself.

CM: Well, it's all semantics, really, so-

Shadowlord: Exactly. Semantics. Words. Linguistics. Do you know how powerful words can be?

CM: Well, I suppose, but-

Shadowlord: Listen to me, Tsusaka. Words convey ideas, ideas convey thoughts, and THOUGHTS - are the very dimension of creation, the seat of creativity. You will find, young Tsusaka, that the difference in a turn of phrase to be very costly if you misanalyze it.

CM: Okay, so what do I do about it?

Shadowlord: Take Bhac and Mayaal, for instance. They are the preservers of PLOT. YOU, mein freund, are to be the perserver of character.

CM: Oh... kay...

Shadowlord: You must make sure that the character, the development of the story never stagnates.

CM: And how do I do that?

Shadowlord: *tosses a vial of acid at CM*

CM: *instinctively burning the acid vial to ashes and cinders* What was that all about?

Shadowlord: Look at what remains of the vial, Tsusaka.

CM: Um, the ashes?

Shadowlord: Precisely. What comes of ashes?

CM: Um, nothing, I suppose.

Shadowlord: Wrong again! They seed the ground, making it more fertile than ever before. Do you see what I'm saying?

CM: Gotcha. The area around Pompeii in Italy is good for farming.

Shadowlord: *sigh*

Geb: Ta-da! I have arrived!

Gebohq, now bald, stands in the lobby of a very empty GexCorp. building.

Geb: Hello...? Where is everybody?

Gebohq looks around the lobby, passing by a large mirror. He stops to look at himself... and starts flexing his muscles.

Geb: You, sir, are one sexy superhero... er... I mean super-VILLIAN. A very sexy super-villian...

He rubs his knuckles across his exposed Sean Connery-esque hairy chest, then runs his hand across his bald head.

Geb: My hair moves from my head to my chest... what I have to go through to keep my true identity secret...

Moving on, Geb continues searching for some sign of life in the corperate building.

Geb: Maybe this is the wrong building...

Just then, he notices a sign that said "Gex Guthor's Office, 88th floor, This way ---->" as it pointed to some nearby elevators

Geb: Or not. Maybe all the employees are waiting for my arrival there...

Gebohq follows the sign into the elevator and takes it to the 88th floor. He follows some more "This way" signs down hallways and "Over here, smart guy" signs leading to a door. Gebohq enters to find...

...a large, empty office. The room is huge, but bare, save for a large desk on the opposite end and a chair facing a wall of windows. Gebohq draws closer, and sees that of what appears to be the entire world, but smaller, much much smaller. Countries were as blocks on a street. There were also strange landmarks, such as a large tower that appeared to be in the center of the expanse, and a circus in what appeared to be Australia. The expanse appeared to be covered in a strange fog.

Voice: Quite a sight, isn't it?

Gebohq jumps as the voice speaks. He looks at the chair, facing away from him.

Voice: What you see before you is the dreamstate of NeS. You, Gebohq Joseph Anne-Marie Simon, should watch the following.

Gebohq begins to interject, but stops as a large monitor on the wall is revealed.

Voice: Have a seat. I think you'll find the program fascinating.

A seat appears next to Gebohq. Whether it is due to the nature of NeS or the nature of dreams, Geb does not question the mysterious appearance of the seat, but sits in it instead as something begins to play on the monitor...

(NSP: I got more, but I have to go for the night. Here's hoping I get the rest tomorrow.)

The inside of the Big Top is filled with many families, the young, promising kind with their little children. They are muted though, and distant, as if they are in some other state of existance. All the better for them, really, as they don't have a circus act before them... not the traditional kind, at least. Instead stands a female mime and a male clown, not performing, but standing together, in a calm manner, and facing two men. The shorter of the men wears camo pants and a black shirt, and is graced with a mop of autumn hair. He looks to his side with his one, pale eye in a confused manner at the taller man, who is staring with discriminating eyes at the mime and clown. The taller one, who appears to be a mix of Aragorn and Weird Al Yankovic, is garbed at the moment in simple, black clothes.

Clown: ...there is more to you, James. You let your work consume you. You've always been a workaholic... It's been so long since we've seen each other, son.

Jim: You're not my parents. This is just a dream.

Qhobeg: What's going on?

Jim: Qho?

Qhobeg: Yes?

Jim: Shut up.

Qhobeg does what he can from crying, and looks downward in a pitiful manner.

Clown: This may be a dream, Jim, but that does not make us any less real. You use to know that.

Jim: What do you want?

Clown: We wanted to see you, James! We're your parents, and we love you.

The mime holds out her arms in a gesture of affection.

Jim: Please.

With a sad frown, the mime puts her arms back down.

Clown: We wanted to remind you that there's more to life than your career, James. Maybe you should let someone else be ruler of Hell...

Jim: I tried that, and it was a disaster! Matthew Pate gave Gates too much control. I hate Gates. He worked for the EeP, and he didn't have any sense of what made good business. I don't know what I saw in him before...

Clown: James...

Jim: Do you know how hard it is to keep the forces of Good in check? Always trying to spread the wealth and forgiving debts... but I need them just as much as they need me. They need an advesary, it makes good business. That's why I became a Protector. And then Vinny... the EeP, it wanted to screw everything up. I hate Vinny, even more than Gates. The little fatalist killed me, and now I'm not even a Protector anymore.

Clown: James...

Jim: Just the ruler of a wasteland. At least it's my wasteland. Sometimes I wish I could just cast all my troubles aside and start up a band--

Clown: JIM!

Jim: What?

Clown: You're not Satan!

An awkward silence hung in the air.

Jim: You're wrong.

Clown: Think about it, James. You have human parents.

Jim: Helebon was more of a father than you ever were, and that's not saying much. And this is the NeS - metaphysics are different here.

Clown: Yes, this is the NeS. It's only a story, and a poorly written, comedic one at that. Do you really think it can handle such real problems that real people face? Do you think it could handle such core issues of humanity?

Jim Seven clenches his fists and grits his teeth, struggling to say that one word, but can't bring himself to it. The mime and clown look at him, dissapointed.

Clown: We named you "James" for a reason, son. It derives from "Jacob" and it means "supplanter." You were destined to rule Hell, James, but it was not yours. Oh God, why did it have to be that way--

Jim: God has nothing to do with it! I am Jim Seven, and you are not real.

The mime silently sobs in tears she fails to hold back.

Jim: God damn you, Mom, SAY SOMETHING ALREADY!

The clown holds the mime to comfort, and the two walk away. The muted noises of the families leaving can be heard. Qhobeg looks around, as if there was some clue he missed in the conversation between Jim and his parents that could be found hanging on a sign. Qhobeg isn't crazy though, it's worked in posts before.

Jim: We're going.

Qhobeg: Where?

Jim: To find the others. The EeP is screwing around again. I need to punch something.

Qhobeg keeps a pace's space behind Jim as the two walk out of the Big Top.

(NSP: More to come! Just figured I'd break here, writing up some more now...)

Meanwhile (NeS count: n^2), nearby the Austrian village was a German festival. Oktoberfest, to be specific. And at this Oktoberfest, a certain cast of familiar characters were gathering. Surprise surprise.

Krig: Krig hungry. We eat?

Thrawn42689: Are humans always so preoccupied with food?

Gebiyl: Sometimes. I wouldn't argue with the Viking though. Getting in the way of him and food can be troublesome... Otter? Maybechild? Hey! Over here!

Maybechild, The Otter, CookedHaggis, and Tony walk up to the group.

Maybe: Gebohq?

Gebiyl: Yeah -- er, no, wait. I'm Gebiyl.

Maybe: Huh?

Gebiyl: I'm from the shattered parallel dimension. I'm a Protector of the Plotfractal now.

Maybe: I see...

*awkward silence*

Ahnuld: Hey, more people are coming!

Enter Ford and The Mega_ZZTer.

MZZT: Man, are we glad we found you guys!

Ford: This dreamstate is getting on my nerves. Still have no idea where my great-great-grandfather Mustang went.

MZZT: Once I figured out the dreamstate was maleable, I had loads of fun! Women, everywhere! Being a professional geek ties up my time in the real world... 8th dimension... thing...

Ford: That should have been me figuring out the metaphysical stuff...

Gebiyl: Yeah yeah, whatever. We're still missing some people.

Enter Qhobeg and a rather angry-looking Jim Seven.

Maybe: Gebohq?

Qhobeg: Qhobeg. Jim cloned me. See the eye? It's pale.

Maybe: Will someone stop it with all these Gebs!

Otter: *still detoxing* Am I seeing double?

Tony smacks Otter upside the head with his saucepan. The Otter falls unconscious.

Maybe: Thanks.

Tony: No problem.

Maybe: You're carrying him though.

Tony: Damn it.

Ahnuld: Look, even more people coming!

Gebiyl: We can see them, Ahnuld.

Ahnuld:

Qhobeg hugs Ahnuld.

Ahnuld:

Enter Mimiru and Subaru.

Mimiru: Gebohq? When did you get a change of clothes?

Gebiyl: I'm not Gebohq, for crying out loud! He's not here!

Everybody else murmers in worried tones.

Gebiyl: Look, we don't need him. I can lead us to defeat the EeP and get our powers back and out of this dream. What we need are more people, like CoolMatty and The Last True Evil--

Krig: But Krig hungry!

Gebiyl: Fine, we'll eat first, and THEN battle the EeP. Hopefully the others will get here before then.

Everybody else: FOOD!

Gebiyl: Wait! We got to stick together, as a group! Must... not... give into villianous impulses...

(NSP: One more part, but it just concerns Gebohq.)

Inside the executive office, on the 88th floor of the GexCorp., Gebohq watches the monitor as it warms up. A man walks across the screen. Johnathan Frakes, to be precise.

Frakes: Hello, Gebohq.

Geb: Hi...?

Frakes: I've been told I'm suppose to pass a message along, not entirely sure why...

Geb: Is this thing live--

Frakes: But I'll do what I'm paid to do.

Geb: Guess not.

Frakes: There have been many prestigious names over the history of the NeS: Evil, Child, Seven... but there is an interesting detail about the Ohq name.

Geb: Yes? YES?

Frakes: While the other names mentioned have lived on as actual last names, Ohq, while ancient in itself, never caught on as a last name. Instead, it has become traditional to attach the Ohq title to the first name. Hence, Gebohq.

Geb: ...

Frakes: So that's it, guys? Alright, I'm out of here then.

The screen turns off.

Geb: That was it?

Voice behind desk: It was mostly for the audience. And for my own amusement, watching you talk to the screen like that.

Geb: I thought I was suppose to be granted some ground-breaking revelation!

Voice: Maybe later. For now...

The chair behind the desk turns around to reveal...

Geb: Zania?

Gebohq stared across the desk at Jimmy Carter's smiling plastic mug.

Geb: What are you doing here? This is MY office!

Zania: And a very nice office it is. I never pegged you as the megalomaniacal type. Though I suppose I should have seen it, what with you traipsing around with your "hero-types" all willy-nilly, always spouting off orders until things turned sour. Say, have you seen the shark tank? It's actually quite lovely.

Zania pressed a button in the arm of the chair, causing a panel in the floor in front of the desk to slide back, revealing a glass cover. Beneath swam a number of various sharks, seemingly oblivious to the office above.

Zania: Really a well crafted illusion. I give you credit, I couldn't have done much better myself.

Geb: Illusion...

Zania: Of course. Everything within this dreamstate is an illusion. A representation of our wills. The stronger wills create stronger manifestations. Heck, Mr. Seven created Australia, complete with a circus and requisite inner turmoil. And don't get me started on the confusion going around with the locals, not sure when they need to be in Austria and when they need to be in Australia.

Geb: Is, uh, this rambling actually going somewhere? Because if it isn't, I'd really like to get my kidney back from you.

Zania: Ah, right, I was getting off track. Illusions. Those sharks, this building, you, me... all illusory. Representations of ourselves, our wills, our very essence. But it leaves for us a very interesting opportunity for something...

Geb: Make out parties...

Zania: Yes, those too. But I was referring to Character Development.

Geb: Development...? Doesn't that come naturally as a story progresses?

Zania: That's an oversimplification. Character development is a natural enough process for your average protagonist. Sometimes even an antagonist. But what of the flat character? One who is along for the ride but never finds a use? We've had a number of them come and go through our adventures.

Geb: Our...?

Zania: I've begun to think on my own. To act on my own. And so I turned to character development once more. Though in another meaning this time. I've turned away from the path of the writers, and come to a new realization. I will control my own destiny. And I will help to shape the future of this world. Through Character Development.

Geb: Okay, I'm officially lost now.

Zania: Don't worry, I'm getting to the point. I needed your kidney, as it was a representation of your strength! Your essence. I have collected enough from the developed and semi-developed characters now.

Zania held up a small jar. It appeared as though it contained a light, similar to the sun on a much smaller scale.

Zania: Behold, the spark of life. Pure, unadulterated essence of character. In order to keep our world alive and changing, I have developed a new type of character. A blank character. It has yet to substantiate into a body, but the potential here is limitless. A being created from the characters... raised by the characters... The Child of NeS.

Zania placed the jar on the desk before him and then spun his chair around to face the windows.

Zania: Well, now that that's over, I won't be needing this anymore. It was getting stuffy anyway.

Zania removed his mask and flung it backwards. The mask travelled over the desk and landed on the glass viewport of the shark tank. He then spun the chair back around.

The chair stopped. Gebohq could only stare in awe as he laid his eyes upon the countenance of a rediculously garbed former companion. Antestarr stood up from the chair and started to take his clothes off.

Ante: Geb, could I get a little privacy here? I'm trying to change!

Geb: Huhwhazziwha?!

Ante: Just turn around, I'm tired of this silly getup contrived to throw people off of my identity.

Geb turned around and stared at the doorway out of the office.

Geb: So, why all the secrecy? I mean, you've been missing for (p)AGES now... and all of the sudden you come back like it's no big deal.

Ante (muffled by various clothes changing): Well, mostly because I couldn't very well go asking nicely if I could rip out your body parts. Most people around here feel a little attached to them. And if I let my identity out, the writers could track me that much more easily. Times ahead are gonna be tough, now.

Geb: I don't see why you're so obsessed with working without the writers... they've gotten us out of a pinch more than once.

Ante: Don't you see? The disaster we faced not so long ago? The threat we face now? All contrivances of those accursed writers. You think it's the will of the Neverending Story to just end? Sounds like a paradox to me. But a writer has a tendency to want to finish what he or she starts. It's the writers' faults something like the EeP could ever exist.

Geb: You're talking crazy-talk. And not the funny kind of crazy-talk.

Ante: Well, believe me or not, the only way I can see a future for this story, our very existence, is to cut our ties to the writers. We must take the control for ourselves. That is why I have created this character. It has yet to be determined if it will be hero or villain... funny or dramatic... male or female... but it has the potential to be whatever we wish it to be. It has the potential to be the savior of our world, should the time come. I have chosen to abandon the writers before they choose to abandon us. Oh, you can turn around now.

Geb turned around to see Ante wearing a black hoodie and standard jeans.

Ante: Yeah, I felt like toning down my image a bit. Can't be standing out too much in this day and age.

Geb: So, does this mean you'll be coming with us?

Ante: I'll tag along for now. I can't leave my project there alone with you just yet. No telling what you'd do to the poor thing.

Geb: Hey, now, it's not like it's even remotely donut-shaped!

Ante: True, but on the other hand, do we really need another Geb running around here?

Geb: Alright, you got me there.

Ante: So, I guess we need to find the others. Just remember, I serve only myself and the story now.

Geb: Don't we all...?

Ante: No... not all of us. In fact, not many of us at all...

Gebohq and the newly-returned Antestarr wander through a hazy and undefined forest, deep within the Dreamstate...

Geb: So where've you been for the last very long if unspecified and vague period of time? We could have used your help defeating the EeP.

Ante: My place was not with you at that time. There were other matters I needed to attend to.

Geb: Weren't you guarding the Darkfoil™ or something? The sword with that Darkside from the future trapped inside?

Ante: Darkside3000. Yes, among other things. I gave the Darkfoil™ to Daleas for safekeeping in Tibet. Unfortunately, when I returned there, I discovered that a demon named Helebon had trashed the place, and stolen the Darkfoil™. There was no sign of Daleas.

Geb: Helebon? We've had encounters with him. He summoned an evil version of me from some alternate dimension or something. I think.

Ante: You speak of the one called Gebiyl. I am aware of him. I sense that he cannot be trusted.

Geb: He gives me the creeps. Always looking at me with my face on his head...

Ante: Um, Geb -- not to interrupt, but this is the fifth time we've passed that tree. Are you sure you know where you're going?

Geb: Me? I was following you!

Ante: Oh boy...

---------------------

Meanwhile, in a different part of the Dreamstate, Oktoberfest is in full swing. Drunk people in lederhosen are everywhere, and beer and sausage are being consumed by everyone. Ahnuld, Thrawn42689, and the Jellybean Pony are wandering around, eating sausages. Of course, two of them are robots and one of them is a horse made of jellybeans, so none of them really *need* to eat. But they are anyway, because hey, this is a dream. Krig, Tony, and a newly concious Otter are having a drinking contest of sorts, although Otter is still woozy from the saucepan to the head, and Tony was stone drunk after his first sip. Krig, on the other hand, is consuming beer like it's water. He doesn't even seem to be aware that he's winning. Haggis, being overtaken by his waiter's instincts, has found a platter and is serving everybody beer and sausage and the like. Qhobeg is following Jim Seven around, and Jim is randomly lighting people's hair on fire. He seems to be in a bad mood. Subaru, Mimiru, and Wai are all dancing to the music of the traditional lederhosen-clad band. Ford and MZZT are attempting to talk suavely to some hot lederhosen-clad women. And on the edge of the festivities, Gebiyl is sitting in the shade and sulking.

Maybechild comes by where Gebiyl is sitting and looks down at him.

Maybe: So, um... you don't look so good.

Gebiyl: These idiots won't listen to reason. It's no wonder I turned to evil. They drove me to it!

Maybe: Evil?

Gebiyl: You wouldn't understand. It was for the good of the story.

Maybe: What kind of cracked logic is that?

Gebiyl: I told you you wouldn't understand. You never did. You always resented me for my choice. Your Gebohq would understand. We share the same vision.

Maybe: Somehow, I don't think Gebohq really has much of a vision about anything...

Gebiyl: There's where you're wrong. He has a vision. Or rather, he will. I was like him, once. Before we tried to take down the EeP. Before the story was Shattered. Somehow, your Gebohq was able to pull the story back into being, to go on as a cohesive whole. But still the Shattered shards remained. I had no choice but to do what I did.

Maybe: But you--

Just then, Otter interrupts the conversation by weaving unsteadily over to them. He tips his had, and tries to speak.

Otter: Heyr, I think we shouwld get out of hererer... Krig thspilled shome beer on this guy'shth lederhosen, an' I think he maybe didn' take it too well, an' now there'sh a buncha guysesh after uth, an' I think we should leave bufore it getsh ugly...

Maybe: Otter, this is a dream. Just make the big meanies in lederhosen go away.

Otter: Uhh... how do I do that?

Maybe: Have you been drinking again?

Otter: Uhh... poshthibly...

There comes a crash and some shouting over in the crowd of people. There is a feral roar, and a distinctively Viking axe-handle flashes above the heads of the crowd repeatedly. Bodies go flying. Some of the other Heroes join in, and soon a full-fledged brawl is in progress.

Maybe: *sigh* Wait here. I'll go sort this out.

Will Maybechild manage to "sort this out"? Will our Heroes ever get to confront the EeP? What about all those items the Heroes lost when the entered the Dreamstate? Will they ever get them back? Will Dawson and Joey ever have a stable, fulfilling relationship? And what about that crazy "Pacey" character? Find out next time, on Dawson's Creek!

In a yet unchanged area of the dreamstate, the dark mist of possibility swirls. Then, something strange starts to happen. The mist swirls and congeals around a single spot, then grows, and parts. Where there was nothing now stands Bhac. He looks himself over for a second, as if to check that he is still in his normal form. Satisfied, he now checks his surroundings. For a few seconds, the vague images of robots and workbenches begin to form, but with a wave of his hand, they fade into the mist again. A bit of mist in front of him congeals into a flat disk, and several scenes flash across it. Soon, it settles on the fight in Oktoberfest.

Bhac: Ah, so those idiots have at least managed to get together, even if actually accomplishing anything is beyond their limited faculties. Mayaal will surely be here soon; I must work fast.

He looks at one of his hands for a moment, especially his slightly bleeding fingernails. He sees a small drop of blood that is about to drop off, and looks at it very intently, as if watching something in its reflection.

Bhac: Yes, that will do nicely.

With a small puff from Bhac, the blood drops off, and when it hits the ground, Bhac disappears.

Back in Oktoberfest, the fight is still going strong, and bodies of burly men in lederhosen surround the area. As the heroes continue on, and the surviving lederhosen clad men throw themselves into the fray, some blood starts to, rather oddly, seep from the ground all over the area. The fighters, absorbed in what they are doing, either do not see it or put it down to the fallen bodies surrounding them. Maybechild, however, walking over to the fight, notices its peculiar source.

Maybechild: hey, what’s happ-

In a flash of light, the blood disappears, and suddenly everyone in the area has frozen stiff. A faint red glow seems to emanate from their skin, but otherwise they seem unchanged, except for their strange paralysis.

To one side of the fight, the scene seems to twist and bend, then Bhac appears. He looks over the scene, then begins to walk among the fighters, and takes a second to look over each of the heroes in turn.

Bhac: Ah, lets see who we have here… Krig, being the crazy axe man as usual, Otter, Gebiyl… ah, Shattered Gebohq. You were also one who brought about my existence. Perhaps some day I shall repay that debt. Not now, though, now I have other work... hmm… Ahnuld… What a miserable waste of technology. I may yet have a use for you yet, however. Thrawn42689, so you’re here as well? I’d have hoped you would have the presence of mind to stay hidden from these bumbling idiots, but I supposes Qwerty didn’t make that personality module as smart as he thought he did. But wait... Who do we have here? Qwerty has no memories of these two…

After spotting Maybechild and Tony, he walks first to Tony and checks him over, taking in his attire and unconventional weapon of choice. He nods quietly to himself, and then walks over to Maybechild.

Bhac: Ahh… this one... Maybechild, is it? Hmm… I sense good from her… such a pity, such beauty wasted on those who cannot appreciate it.

A skeletal finger strokes her cheek, leaving a thin trail of blood. It seems to soak slowly into her skin. He stares for a few more moments, and then tears himself away. He glances once more over the battle scene, and then walks down a back alley a few feet until he can no longer see any of the heroes.

Bhac: If those idiots cannot even control the worlds they themselves create, they will have great trouble defeating the Eep in its own ground. It seems I will have to travel with them for now, and make sure they are ready for him when they are coherent enough to start their search. Seeing as TLTE isn’t present, I’m sure he won’t mind me borrowing his body…

He hold up both of his hands to shoulder height, mumbles something under his breath, and blood begins to flow at a much greater rate from his fingertips, running down his arms and then to the rest of his body. After a few moments, every part of him has been passed over, and the blood flows off him and soaks into the ground. TLTE now stands in the alleyway, except for that his fingertips still bleed slowly. He holds up his right hand, finds another drop of blood, and blows it off again. When it hits the ground, another flash of light emanates around the fighters, and suddenly the scene continues as it has been before his arrival.

The fighters don’t seem to notice anything, and continue swinging their respective weapons at each other. Maybechild however, stops short, and puts a hand to her cheek as she looks at the now blood-free ground with disbelief. The blood has also gone from her cheek, however, and her hand comes back clean.

Maybechild: -ening... What... what’s going on here?

Before she can dwell on it too long, however, TLTE(b) bursts from the alleyway. Maybechild, hearing his movements, shakes herself out of her train of thought and turns to face him.

Maybechild: What? TLTE? What are you doing here? What is going on in this place? And what's with your hands?

TLTE(b): No time to explain! It seems you guys need some help, right?

Maybechild: Yah, I guess, but how-

TLTE(b): I told you, not now! We have some lederhosen clad men to take care of!

With this, he brushes past Maybechild, takes two pistols from under his trenchcoat, and begins firing into the crowd.

White glowing walls, intricate in design, but simple in cut line the path of the 3 creatures. Their color seems out of place in this world of pure white. Their footsteps echo throughout the halls of the strange castle.

YangKirby Damnit, we're late!

YingKirby We're not late.

KrigKirby KRIGKIRBY EARLY!

Mayaal No, in fact... you're none of the above.

Mayaal stands in the hallway, as if appearing from no where. The 3 bow down, a white transparent crest forms above each of their heads, and shatters just as it had come.

Mayaal Now, Ying and Yang, you must follow my orders preciselly. Failing this will surelly earn you both self-deletion. Your existance will be without, and you will be none and never.

YingKirby And that we would not want, what shall we do to serve you, my lord?

YangKirby We won't fail. But yes, what is it that we must do?

KirgKirby Funny Kirbys, hehe!

The others all turn and look towards KrigKirby[/b]

Mayaal KrigKirby, I didn't even call you... what are you doing here?

... moments later, Krig Kirby is still laughing when the 3 begin walking further down the hallway.

Mayaal As I was saying, you both must ensure that while I travel to the dreamstate that both good and evil are equally balanced within the real world. Currently, mortals are without heroes, and if I know the hearts of Men, evil and good will both form within the same vessel. You must balance these needs. I shall not be gone for long, but no time can be left alone for even a moment. Do you understand?

YangKirby All I've got to do is encourage evil?

YingKirby Yes brother, and I will encourage Good of the hearts of men.

Mayaal Exactly. You will need new forms which I have already designed. The body-suits are in the pre-production room. Please, be quick about your new forms, we don't have time for you to become acquanted.

The two bow and the symbols return and shatter just as before, and they part back the way they came. Mayaal continues to walk down the hallway, his stick hitting the still and cold white floor quicker and quicker. Soon he's reached a steady stride, and the white hallway seems to fold and crack, as if molten rock over a lava stream. The world around Mayaal bursts, and the small australian town shapes and forms. Everything stands still. TLTE stands, weapons cocked and loaded. Mayaal stand near TLTE.

Mayaal The blind man sees all, fool.

At this, Mayaal's flesh explodes in a bloody, firey mass, and a single bluejay is left, flapping it's wings to land on a nearby roof. The bird glances down at the party of drunks and heroes, and the world rolls off pause...

*The tower of Deitopos, knowledge-hub of the dreamstate. Highemperor sits in the study of Arkng Thand, reclining on an ancient-looking plush chair and sipping on a mug of metaphysical cocoa. Cool Matty also sits in an identical chair, revising the day's work and attempting to create strange new incantations with tiny hand gestures. The venerable uber-professor is seated opposite them, blue smoke emanating from his strange and elaborate pipe.*

Highemperor: This place truly is a haven for trans-dimensional academics such as myself, Professor Thand.

Arkng Thand: Indeed...metaphorically speaking, it is the ultimate school library in which us 'trans-dimensional academics' can escape from the older, post-pubescant bullies of the universe.

*He smiles, indulgent in his own witticism. Absently, he runs a hand through his wispy hair and adjusts his spectacles.*

Highemperor: Where is Wai, CM?

*The young mage dispels a series of glowing shapes with a quick point of his finger, glancing at him sardonically.*

CM: He's with TLTE. Apparently, the Russian is channelling another universe into being tonight, to further his metaphysical studies. He needed Wai to help get it up the stairs.

*CM chuckles softly leaning back in the shadows of his chair. Highemperor grins ruefully, imagining the scene himself.*

Thand: You're going to Jupiter next, I understand?

*Highemperor regards Thand's interruption with mild surprise.*

Highemperor: Indeed...how did you know?

Thand: The story arcs of all the heroes of the NeS are known to me, Highemperor. Even your own. Yes, you travel now to Jupiter with your Russian friend...though in doing so you abandon the others, leaving them to face your most dangerous foe.

*There is a pause, as the words hang in the air. Then suddenly, Highemperor comprehends-*

Highemp: The EeP?!

Thand: Well, of sorts. This is not the true Ever-Ending Plot...more of a conceptualised possibility based on factual account. A dream, in other words. Fitting, when you think of where we are. But make no mistake, Highemperor-

*Thand leans forward in his chair, through the blue smoke, his ancient knowledge glittering dull omens in his eyes.*

Thand: This Ever-Ending Plot is real enough to kill each and every one of them.

CM: Mimiru...

Thand: It is resting, now, weakened by the actions of some bold heroes...but his strength will return.

Highemp: Is it possible that the man in black who attacked TLTE and me was, in fact, sent by this EeP?

Thand: No. No, definitely not. That attacker came from Jupiter, out of the dreamstate. This EeP has no sway there. No, when the five of you travel to Jupiter, you will discover an entirely different - but still dangerous - adversary.

Highemp: Who?

Thand: I cannot say. To do so would affect the outcome of the story arc.

Highemp: What do you mean?

CM: Wait a minute, wait a minute..."the five of you"?

Thand: That is correct. Five heroes will travel to Jupiter to rescue Losien Ohq - The Last True Evil, Highemperor, Krig the Viking, Wai the robot...and yourself, Cool Matty.

CM: I-I can't! I can't just leave Mimiru here to face the Ever-Ending Plot! She could die!

Thand: Indeed, she could. Or she could live and Losien could die. Perhaps they will both die, regardless of the actions of the heroes. But the story arc that the Writer God intended - and I know this as a certainty - scribes that the five of you travel to Jupiter, and attempt to save Gebohq's sister. After that, well...you'll see when you get there, won't you?

CM: But...

*He looks down at the floor, his face a picture of confused helplessness.*

Highemp: But who, Professor Thand? Who, or what, are we saving her from?

*Thand regards them, regret settling on his features.*

Thand: I am sorry. I take no pleasure in this. I told you what I had to for the story arc to progress...and a little more than I should have, too. My penance may turn out to be ruining the entire plan, and endangering Losien further. But I cannot say who waits for you there. That would compromise the entire journey.

Highemp: And what do you get out of all of this? Who tasked you to continue our saga?

*Arkng Thand smirks, his face unreadable.*

Thand: In the quest to understand the universe and all its knowledges and forms, Highemperor, I have found myself in contact with many...higher beings. The WriterGod for one, among others. I am quite willing to vocalise their directions, and in return, my knowledge increases ever further...

Highemp: I see. An admirable goal - but it does not help our own situation.

*The professor nods. At that moment, TLTE and Wai enter the room, clutching several odd pieces of debris and universal paraphernalia.*

TLTE: Well, comrades, we-

*He suddenly sees the room. CM, slumped, defeated in his chair. Arkng Thands' pensive, doubtful face. Highemperor's sympathetic yet disturbed expression.*

TLTE: We're in trouble, aren't we?

Wai: Predictions are not optimistic...

Thand: It seems that you all are none-too-eager to go to Jupiter, but I am afraid time does not pause, even in a dreamstate.

TLTE: You mean to say that if we don't move now we will miss our window of opportunity?

Arkng Thand lowers his head, and closes his eyes, as if struggling with conflict in his head.

Thand: I cannot answer you, and for that I am truly sorry. But please, heed my words, you would be best off to leave as soon as you can.

Highemp: Then it is settled. CM, you find Krig. TLTE, you and me are off to find a suitable means of transport to Jupiter. Wai, you will need to plot the course, and prepare any supplies we may need for the journey.

Wai: I will do my best.

CM: If I must, then I must. But Mimiru comes first. If I hear of even the slightest possibility of harm coming to her, I am off this mission.

Thand: CM, I have been allowed to mention this fact, in that you may realize the dire situation we are currently in. I cannot explain what I am about to tell you, you will need to decipher the message yourself. I am merely the messenger, not the dictator.

"Mimiru's life, all life in the dreamstate, is currently linked to Losien. Whatever happens to Losien, affects us all, in this state. May you be wise in your travels with this knowledge."

CM: So you mean to say that if Losien dies, Mimiru dies?

Thand: As I said, I am unable to...

Highemp: No, what he means to say is that if Losien dies, it isn't just Mimiru we need to be worried about. All of us will meet our end. Is that correct?

Again, Thand lowers his head, and Highemp realizes the situation he is placing Thand in.

Highemp: Forgive me, I now know why you cannot answer.

TLTE: Well what are we sitting here for? Come comrades! An adventure awaits!

The group disperses, leaving only Wai and Thand in the room.

Thand: You know what you have to do, correct?

Wai: Yes. CM is in a very unstable state at the moment.

Thand: He will require constant supervision.

Wai: I understand.

Thand: When CM finally realizes his full power, big things are going to happen. But he will need someone there to help him through it. Mimiru will not be there to assist him. You must be his ally, his friend.

Wai: Of course.

Thand: Then go, you have work to do. Do not fail in this mission I give you, Wai. I grow cold when I imagine the implications of his power going unchecked. He will need guidance, and may the WriterGod give you the strength to lead him through this journey. Good luck, Wai.

Wai: Thank you. I hope I can achieve what you expect of me.

Thand: If you maintain the strength you have had in the past, I am sure I will not be dissappointed. Go! They will return soon!

Wia: Yes, Master Thand.

OMQ! What is going on? Master Thand? Do we know who Wai serves, finally? Or does CM the Writer just love throwing people off track? And what of the trip to Jupiter? STAY T00NED!

Guy on Cell: Can you hear me now? Good! GREAT! That means that it works on this mysterious asteroid...

Mysterious Being of the Mysterious Asteroid: Who are you? What are you doing here?

Guy on Cell: *to cell* Oh, hold on a second, a new aggarvation I must deal with...*to MBotMA* Who are you? Can't you see I am on the phone?

MBotMA: This asteroid is private property! This asteroid, and the warehouse that is on it is the property of Master Antestarr.

Guy on Cell: Antestarr? Who in bloody hell is that?

MBotMA: Sir! He is a great man, who has achieved much! Although he has had not the time to pay a return visit in the past few years, we await his return. His achievements are known throughout this galaxy! After all, he is the one who gave birth to the NeS Child!

Guy on Cell: Oh not more of this NeS nonsense! I am out of here!

Guy on Cell: Yeah, Boss? This is your Veri-con spokesperson. This asteroid is creeping me out, would you mind blowing it up? What's that? Oh, great! Thanks!

MBotMA: Why you little... *tackles GoC*

GoC: NO! GET OFF ME YOU ALIEN!

MBotMA: I'M FROM EARTH YOU MORON!

The two fight for a while, before MBotMA throws him off the asteroid, easily done due to the low gravity of the asteriod

MBotMA: And good riddance! I never liked your phones anyway!

Highemp Postage!

-----------------------------------


Cool Matty stands directly outside the archway leading into Deitopos. Before lays the cobblestone path away from the library tower, edged by impenetrable darkness.
He feels a slight weight in his shirt, and remembers the manila folder compiled by the Potentials that Arkng Thand gave him. Pulling it out, he leafs through it.

CM: Hmm, what have we here? Yes, the fundamental Chaos Crest incantation, that breaks down the laws of physics in a specific area, so that plotwielding in that place is temporarily easier. Of course, the dreamstate is already chaos, so I don't need that one right now.

He sighs for a moment, as he thinks of Mimiru.

CM: Mim... will I ever see you again?

Tearing his attention away from his beloved, he thinks.

CM: If the dreamstate is already raw chaos, and I already have teleportation powers, I should be able to will myself to Krig the Viking.

He closes his eyes and scrunches his brow together, concentrating. A second and a shimmer later, he's gone.

-----

TLTE & Highemperor are wandering in the misty swirls of potential that is the dreamstate. Highemp stops every now and then, scrutinizing every last swirl of mist that passes them. For, in truth, they are not moving, but are standing still while Highemp wills the chaotic eneriges past them. When TLTE suddenly realizes that, he speaks up.

TLTE: Comrade, how are you doing that?

Highemp: *idly* Doing what?

TLTE: You know... moving the dreamstate instead of us?

Highemp: Oh, that. Friend, I've been through every place in the universe... multiverse... omniverse... whatever you want to call it. It wasn't until recently that I made my home in the NeS.

TLTE: RECENTLY?! You've been here for 45 pages!

Highemp: *absently* 50, including NeS in the Realm of TACC and NeShattered.

TLTE: *rolls eyes incredulously* Just how old are you?

Highemperor: Hmm... an interesting question, though difficult to answer.

TLTE: What, you lost count?

Highemp: Well, every universe has a different system of measuring time, not to mention the fact that in many of them, time flows differently. If you wanted me to guesstimate-

TLTE: Please do.

Highemp: -I'd say approximately 56,372...

TLTE: Wow.

Highemp: ... centuries...

TLTE: Hey now.

Highemp: To the 8,709,320,141,715,123,456,789,000,019th power.

TLTE: Whoa!

Highemp: Give or take a few hundred aeons.

TLTE: *wonderingly* Then how is it - and in all that time, you never stopped learning to powergame until NeShattered?

Highemp: Well, my writer's only 21. He wrote me through most of my lifetime from about 15.

TLTE: In six years, he put you through all that?!

Highemp: No, of course not, don't be silly.

TLTE: Oh. *whew*

Highemp: It was five years. NeShattered happened about a year ago, when he was 20.

TLTE: Um...

Highemp: Before you ask, yes, my writer is demented. Trust me, being cracked up ain't all it's cracked up to be.

TLTE: .....

-----

A.D. 5000. The newly released prisoner stumbles along in the sun.

Prisoner: *blinking* The... sun? It's... been so long.

Voice: Ah, yes, you will do nicely.[/b]

Prisoner: What? Who's that?

Voice: I am known by many names, Mr. Ankh. My inferiors call me "master". My superiors, that is if I had any, would call me "Morthrandur". And those who fear me... which, quite frankly, is everyone, refer to me as the Second Death.

Prisoner: What... what did you call me?

There is a whisper of wind, as of rustling flames, and a figure in dark blue-black robes, with a countenance hidden by the hood so that its face is shrouded in pitch-black, steps out of the shadows.

Morthrandur: I referred to you as Mr. Ankh, after one of the names you have given yourself. You are in the story thread known as the NeS, or Neverending Story. However, believe me when I tell you that neither you nor I am of this story.[/b]

Prisoner/Mr. Ankh: Who... who am I?

Morthrandur: *his voice soft, deadly* Do you not know?

Mr. Ankh: I... *gasps as realization hits him* I know!

Morthrandur: Is not knowledge useless... unless you act upon it?[/b]

Mr. Ankh/???: Indeed. Understand this, Morthrandur. I can control you. Do not seek to do likewise to me.

Morthrandur: *bows in respect* Of course not.[/b]
???: I shall henceforth be known as Somankh.

And he vanishes in a twinkling of an eye, to a destination unknown.

-----

CM appears at the Oktoberfest. He sees TLTE(b), who is really Bhac, and wonders idly how and why TLTE got here. Next he espies Krig, who has knocked all the lederhosen guys unconscious, and is now standing atop a mass of bodies staring forlornly at his axeless right hand.

CM: Krig!

Krig: *looking around, sees CM* Matty-man! What Matty-man do here?

CM: *quirks eyebrow* "Matty-man"? *under his breath* Well, it's better than "mageling", anyway.

Krig: Krig sad. Krig no have axe.

CM: *remembering a lesson in weapons forging Shadowlord and Arkng Thand taught him* If you come with me, I'll make you a new axe!

Krig: *eyes brightening* Really?

CM: Of course!

Krig: We go now!

There is a shimmer, and the world changes. CM and Krig no longer stand in midst of the ruins of Oktoberfest, but on a seashore, an unidentified ocean stretching to the horizon. Wai, TLTE and Highemperor stand there, waiting.

TLTE: Ah, there you are. We were beginning to wonder if the Viking had eaten you, mageling.

CM: Yeah, yeah, whatever. So where's our transportation?

Highemperor: First we must exit the Dreamstate and return to the 8th dimension. From there, we must find a way to return to the lower dimension of the NeS, and then procure transportation to Jupiter. It should not be difficult.

Wai: If that's the easy part, I don't think I wanna hear about the difficult part...

CM: All right, first things first. How do we get out of the Dreamstate?

Highemp: That is why we are here. This ocean is symbolic of the outer fringes of the Dreamstate. We must sail to the horizon and over the edge, and we will escape the dream.

CM: Great. Sail off the edge of the world. Does anyone here know how to sail?

Krig: Krig know how to sail! Krig love to sail! When Krig go sailing with Viking friends, he have fun! We smash things and get gold and ale! It fun!

TLTE: It seems we have solved that problem. In any case, this is a dream. We need only imaging that we are able to sail, and we will be able to.

Krig bounds down to the water, where a Viking longship is waiting. CM looks at it skeptically.

CM: Why did it have to be a Viking ship?

TLTE and Highemp look at the ship perplexedly, looks of confusion on their faces.

TLTE: That is strange. That ship was a yacht not a minute ago.

Highemp: Someone must have changed the dream.

CM: Krig? But he hasn't been trained in any of this metaphysical stuff...

TLTE: Perhaps not. But I suspect that he does not even realise that this is not your regular dream. He is treating it as though he were merely sleeping, and changing the world around him as befits his dream. Unknowingly, he is doing the things that we have studied hard to master.

Highemp: No matter. We must depart at once. Time waits for no man!

CM and TLTE: Agreed.

Wai: Okay.

The four board the ship, where Krig is already preparing to set sail. They push off, setting out into the choppy waters. A stiff breeze springs up, filling out the sails and pushing them further and further from shore. Time passes, perhaps several hours, but as is the nature of dreams, the waiting is skipped over almost instantly. Soon, they near what can only be their destination. Before them, from left to right as far as can be seen, lies an edge where the water abruptly ends, flowing down over it like a massive wide waterfall. Beyond that is darkness, the swirling shadows that form the edges of dreams. The five occupants of the longship look forward at it in anticipation. Krig, however, seems upset.

Krig: We come to Helgates, where dead go. Not good place. We go back.

CM: What?

TLTE: Viking Mythology, comrade. He thinks he's come to the edge of the world, and the entrance to the Underworld.

Krig: Helgates. Very bad place. Scary.

Highemp: Fear not, little Viking, this is only a dream. None of us will die. CM, push us over the edge, will you?

CM: Right.

CM concentrates, trying to force the Dream to change. After a moment, a strong wind gushes up, causing the ship to surge forward toward the edge. They have almost reached it, when there is a lurch, and the ship stops.

TLTE: What was that?

CM: Look!

Behind them, rising from the ocean, a collection of slimy black tentacles have latched onto the ship, pulling it backward and away from the edge. Lightning crashes as a storm suddenly whips up, blackening the sky. Beyond the tentacles, a glassy eye and chopping beak can be seen.

Krig: Jormungandr!

Wai: Ahhh! It's a giant sea monster! Kill it!

Highemp: Something is amiss...

CM: I sense it too... this is no ordinary dream-creature.

Sea Monster: You cannot escape! Do you think I am not aware of your every move? I will devour you whole! Your story will end because I will kill you all!

TLTE: Ah, the Ever-ending Plot. We meet again.

Holy Friholes! Just when they had almost escaped the Dreamstate, this happens! Well, I suppose it's only logical -- the EeP wouldn't want them to escape his clutches, would he? They might mess up his plans! I mean, the EeP's not really that bad a guy, after all, only misunderstood! I mean, is the utter death of everyone on this plane of existance such a high price to pay for the EeP's insatiable lust for destruction? Wait... what am I saying? Of course it is! I would die too!

Tune in next time, when our Heroes will hopefully utterly trounce the EeP so that he never returns again! Sheesh!

TLTE: You know, comrade, I grow quite tired of this fellow.

Highemp: The EeP, you mean?

TLTE: Yes. Always showing up, ruining all the fun. He's like a bully in that way.

Highemp: Unfortunately for him, instead of lunch money, we have swords and guns.

TLTE: Yes, that is very unfortunate.

TLTE pulls out his Smith & Wesson, and aims it over the bow of the viking ship. Highemp draws his sword, and wanders over to the closest tentacle latched to the ship. Krig remains sailing, doing everything in his Viking power to keep the ship afloat. And CM... well... let's just say CM is busy.

TLTE: Stupid monster, fall back to the black depths where you belong!

TLTE fires the gun, utterly destroying a tentacle. Highemp follows immediately after, slicing the tentacle nearly in half. Only a thread of tissue held it on, and the tentacle flailed about. However, wherever a tentacle was lost, another replaced it. After a good 10 minutes of slicing and blasting tentacles, it was obvious to the heroes that this monster wasn't going anywhere fast.

Highemp: This is absurd! This monster follows no laws of physics! It doesn't make sense! It just keeps coming!

TLTE: Oh dear comrade, I thought you were the dreamstate specialist here! It's obvious that the EeP is making the monster invunerable.

Highemp: No, don't you see? The EeP doesn't function like that. He doesn't function under such, chaos and looneyness.

TLTE: Then what could possibly explain...

Like a lightbulb going off, they both realized the answer and said it in unison...

HighLTE: The EeP is dying!!!

CM returns from below deck, and seems to almost have an aura around him.

CM: Indeed! And we must take advantage of this. But do you notice something?

TLTE: What is that?

CM: We are still moving towards the horizon.

TLTE: What? Krig, is that right?

Krig: Ship sail, but slow! Oh, so slow! Poor viking ship, cursed by demon of sea! Sail to demonland! Poor viking ship!

Highemp: I see where you are getting at. EeP merely wants us to believe that he wants us to remain here. What he really wants is for us to carry him to the horizon with us, where he may return to the NeS, and thus, return to power.

CM: I couldn't have said it better. The EeP is dying, and he knows it. He is getting desperate, and has even lowered himself to using a tatic usually reserved for us heroes, not him. Chaos is like a mortal sin to him. He doesn't want chaos, he wants the lack of chaos. After all, that's what ends a plot, when all the chaos, and conflict ends. But he is not stupid. He realizes that he must give a little if he wants to live to fight again.

TLTE: Then we cannot let him take us with him! Krig, turn the ship around!

Krig: Aye Aye, friend! Krig turn ship! All hold tight!

The other heroes did not quite understand the seriousness behind Krig when he said "hold tight". They all went flying into the side of the ship. With Krig's godlike control of the ship, it began to turn around impossibly fast and hard. Finally, a few seconds later, they were on a heading for the shore again.

EeP: So you fools think you have figured me out?

CM: Well, yeah, actually.

EeP: I have some tricks up my sleeve yet!

Suddenly, the ship began to rise right out of the ocean. The tentacles lifted the ship, and aimed it back for the horizon.

TLTE: We cannot fight that! He's found a way of becoming invunerable! I thought he was weak in the dreamstate.

Highemp: He is. Someone else must be lending their power for this. But unfortunately we don't have time to figure out who is assisting the EeP. We have to kill this thing somehow.

CM steps up to the front of the ship. He stretches out his arms, and closes his eyes.

CM: This is where this battle ends, EeP. I suggest you cower back to your cave and leave us be!

Suddenly, the ocean became much less deep. Land was building under the ship. Then, in a great explosion, an island rose from the depths, lifting the boat up out of the ocean. CM immediately jumps out, and finds the sea monster at the shore.

CM: Okay, you stupid beast, time to eat some serious magepower.

CM closes his eyes, and his favorite staff appears in his hands.

TLTE: I sense that a can of whoop-butt has just been opened.

Highemp: Very astute of you. How did you become so observant?

TLTE glares at Highemp for a moment, but smirks anyway.

Krig: Krig fight too! Krig fight too!

Highemp: No Krig, I believe that would be a bad idea at the moment.

TLTE: Maybe we should try to get this ship back to sea while he battles the monster.

Highemp: That's a good idea, let's get crackin'.

Highemp and TLTE begin working on moving the ship back to sea, while CM begins his fight.

(NSP: Note to readers: From this point forward, there is very little conversation. As such, I will be merely having what each opponent is thinking at the time, along with whatever action they are doing in astericks. It'll save me a lot of time, and should make for an easier read. If they say anything aloud, like a spell name, then that will be in bold.)

CM: Phoenix Gust! Let's see how you like this modification of my spell!
*A small flame appears in the sky, and grows quickly to a very large size, over 500 meters wide. Then it shatters, almost like glass, into hundreds of pieces. Except that these peices are over 2 meters wide, and look like the mystical phoenix.
The hundreds of birds swoop down from the sky, and dive bomb the monster. The beast moves its hundreds of tentacles in front of itself as protection, but takes heavy damage. Numerous tentacles are destroyed, but unlike before, most do not regenerate. The flames of the birds had cauterized the tentacles, keeping them from regenerating.*

EeP: So this simple hero thinks his poor magic skills are enough? Not hardly!
*The EeP whips his tentacles around him at high speed, so fast that he begins to lift off the ground not unlike a helicopter. It then lurches forward at high speed toward CM.*

CM: Not good enough, stupid fool. Fire Barricade!
*A small wall of fire like CM's Fire Wall appears in front of CM. But at the last moment before the huge beast makes impact, it swells to a frightening 200 meters high. The EeP slams headfirst into the flames, and is incinerated. At the last moment, the EeP cries out.*

EeP: YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE LAST OF ME, FOOLS! THE EeP WILL RETURN TO END YOUR LIVES FOREVER! YOU CANNOT DESTROY ME! YOU WILL SOON LEARN OF THE STUPID MISTAKES YOU FOOLS HAVE MADE!

And then the beast disappeared, leaving nothing but ash behind.

TLTE: CM, hurry! Krig's getting anxious, and the ship is starting to float away from the shore!

CM turns around to see the viking ship finally moved off the island, and everyone waving at him to get his butt in gear. CM jogs over, and jumps aboard, now ready to finish this trip.

CM: Ugh, I think I'm becoming seasick...

TLTE: Not on me, you aren't! Lean over the side!

Highemp: After all this time sailing, and now you're seasick? Oh, the irony.

CM: Shut up you.... oh god here it comes...

What will happen of the heroes? Will CM forge the axe for Krig? Will the reach the horizon? And what is going on in other parts of the dreamstate? Stay T00NED!

*The voyage of the five adventurers continues. Krig, Highemperor, TLTE, Cool Matty and Wai travel from the remains of the EeP steadfastly in the opposite direction, the sun setting gradually as the Viking ship ploughs onward. Krig steers his ship, happy to be in an environment that he understands and fully controls again. Highemperor stands at the tip of the bow, gazing out alone at the brilliance of the sun's falling. TLTE sits at the stern of the vessel, sharpening his sabre. A shadow falls over him and he looks up, to see Cool Matty.*

CM: Don't you think that's a futile exercise?

TLTE: What do you mean?

CM: It's a dream...you wish for your weapons to be sharp and they are. There's no need to envisage sharpening them, as such.

*TLTE grins, returning to his sharpening.*

TLTE: It's an affirmation, CM. A psychological self-conditioning. By the action of sharpening my blade in my dream, I am in effect reassuring myself of its potency. Thus, my mental discipline will be firmer when I test the blade, or rather my will of the blade's effectiveness, against an opponent's perception of their own resilience.

CM: True enough. It just seems, however, an unnecessary step.

TLTE: Well, you are a mage, mageling. Many physical actions must seem unnecessary to you.

*He grins again. CM bristles, imagining the soothing words of Mimiru.*

CM: Hmm. Well, as long as your blade is as sharp and true as it has always been, we shall find Losien.

TLTE: I appreciate it.

*CM turns to leave. As he does so, TLTE's hand slips and his blade falls, bouncing across the floor to in front of CM's path. TLTE looks up at him.*

TLTE: Grab that for me, will you comrade?

*CM turns slowly, fixing TLTE with a pleasant smile.*

CM: Sorry...that seems like an unnecessary physical action to me.

*And with that, he leaves the stern.*

----------------------LATER THAT NIGHT!-------------------------------

*Night falls on the ship. TLTE walks up to Highemperor, who has remained at the bow the entire time. Standing next to Highemperor, he looks out at the glistening waters.*

TLTE: Wai has been below-deck since our run-in with the EeP. He's been trying to calculate what's needed to symbolise our exit from the dreamstate.

Highemp: Oh yes, that...

TLTE: You were more concerned with something else?

*Highemp throws him a grim glance.*

Highemp: To be honest, I'm more worried about who or what was aiding the EeP. It clearly demonstrated the focus and control of an entity supported by another very powerful mind.

TLTE: Our enemy on Jupiter? The one who sent the blackguard?

Highemp: It's entirely possible. I...I can't idly speculate. I have to...excuse me.

*He turns and leaves without another word. TLTE looks back at his retreating form, puzzled, then turns and faces out to sea again. A few minutes pass as he gazes into the endless waves around them.*

TLTE: Losien, if only-

*Suddenly, there is a flash of sparks next to TLTE's left arm, and the handrail shakes with sudden force.*

TLTE: What?!

*He spins - just as a second bullet impacts on the guardrail on his other side. Immediately, TLTE drops to the ground, rolling to one side as a further four bullets slam into the deck. There is a repeated clicking sound, and then the noise of a gun dropping to the floor, along with retreating footsteps. TLTE leaps to his feet, looking around wildly, but he sees nothing.*

TLTE: An enemy? Here??

*Suddenly, there are other noises - the ship's bell is ringing, and Krig, CM, Highemperor and Wai all run from different locations of the ship to the bow.*

Krig: What was funny noise? Krig remember funny noise...

CM: It sounded like...bullet impacts...

Highemp: Impossible...this ship is too small to harbour an enemy...

*Wai meanwhile walks to the base of the bow, picking up a small object barely discernable in the faint light.*

Wai: I found a pistol...silenced, with some kind of black tape on it...it appears to be one of TLTE's Smith and Wessons!

Krig: What? Krig no understand...

Highemperor: It means, Krig...

*The five heroes face each other, all in a loose circle. Comprehension dawns on each face slowly, as they one by one eye each other with undisguised suspicion.*

Highemperor:...that one of us is a traitor.

(NSP: With any luck, an old-fashioned murder mystery, or near-murder mystery in this case, should follow!)

{Proxy Post for Highemp!}

Onboard the deck of the Viking longship, the five sit in a loose circle, eyeing each other warily.

CM: Well, we can't just stay here forever, eyeing each other warily.

Wai: Technically, yes, we can. I am a robot, and you all are Characters(TM), meaning we're all immortal, and thusly-

All: SHADDUP!

TLTE: I agree with the mageling. *CM bristles* We have to figure this out. Who did it?

Krig: Butler!

TLTE: Ingenius, little Viking! It must have been... CookedHaggis!

Highemp: *cough*

TLTE: Er, right. Sorry. Don't know what got into me.

Wai: Here we have the evidence. One of TLTE's pistols.

TLTE: It can't have been me, I was the one attacked.

Highemp: And there you are right. It can't have been CM, because he has too little subtlety to use someone else's weapon; he'd have just incinerated TLTE. And it can't have been Krig. He's too simple.

All eyes turn to Wai.

Wai: *growing uncomfortable under everyone's stare* Me? Surely you can't mean-

Highemp: *wearily* No, I don't.

CM: You don't? But if it wasn't Wai, then who?

All eyes widen and turn to Highemp.

TLTE: YOU?

Highemp: Yes... and no.

Wai: Could you be any more cryptic?

Highemp: Yes... and no.

CM: Wasn't that line used just a few posts ago?

Highemp: Yes... and no.

All the others sigh.

TLTE: Explain yourself, comrade.

Highemp: My writer compelled me to.

TLTE: What??

Why: But wai?

CM: Wai are you mixing up your words, Why?

Wai: Why? *sigh* I-

Krig: *clapping hands delightedly* Rhymes!

TLTE: ENOUGH!

TLTE is a terror to behold in this moment as he rises to his feet, trenchcoat flapping in the wind. His eyes flash, and the dreamstate attunes itself to his mood as thunder rolls. The other quiet.

TLTE: *eyes glowing dangerously* Now then. Highemperor - explain yourself.

Highemperor seems suddenly shriveled and tiny, as though thoroughly exhausted.

Highemp: *softly* My writer - HighempTheWriter - is either a traitor, or is being compelled by an outside force to destroy TLTE.

CM: But why?

Highemp: I'm not entirely sure, but I believe that TLTE is integral to the survival of the NeS sometime in the future. Not in and of himself, but due to the effect he will have on someone else.

TLTE: Losien?

Highemp: Perhaps. Perhaps not.

Wai: Well, what now?

CM: We must put you under guard, Highemp, in case your writer tries to attack us again.

Highemp: *tiredly* Unfortunately, I agree.

Krig: Me guard! Me good guard!

TLTE: *looking almost sadly at Highemp* So be it.

Thrawn42689 has an epiphany.

Thrawn42689: What the f*** am I doing here? This is ridiculous.

Thrawn draws a shotgun from the infinite reaches of his coat and swings it about, looking for something to blow up.

Lederhosen Guy: Jaaaaaah! Banzai!

Thrawn smashes the shotgun over Lederhosen Guy's face and knocks him to the ground. He then proceeds to fire three shots into Lederhosen Guy's belly.

Lederhosen Guy: Ow. Mein painen.

Lederhosen Guy dies. Thrawn42689 grits his teeth, sending a spark fizzling to the ground. He notices TLTE firing pistols randomly about, and heads in his direction.

TLTE: For the motherland!

Thrawn42689 taps TLTE on the shoulder.

TLTE: AAHH! What?

Thrawn42689: You shot me.

TLTE: Beg pardon?

Thrawn42689: You shot me. In the head.

TLTE: I don't recall...

Thrawn42689: Oooh, well isn't that just too bad? YOU SHOT ME IN THE SIDE OF THE HEAD.

Thrawn42689 shoves TLTE to the ground roughly, but TLTE flips backward and lands on his feet.

TLTE: It was an accident, okay? Christ! Stop with the shoving.

Thrawn42689: Maybe when I get an apology. You were looking right at me when it happened.

TLTE: Was I?

Suddenly, TLTE grabs for his pistols and empties both into Thrawn42689's chest.

Thrawn42689: F***ing...ow...

TLTE: There was a time when I thought you would be a useful part of the NeS. A character to twist to my purposes. The perfect puppet. But your swirling, traumatized mind isn't worth the effort. It was barely worth the bullets. Goodbye, sodomy robot.

Thrawn42689: Bye.

Thrawn42689 sits up and blows off TLTE's head with the shotgun. Blood erupts from TLTE's body, and a ghostly figure swirls out of the neck, like smoke released from a bubble, and shoots into the sky.

Ghostly figure: You haven't heard the last of me, sodomy robot!

Thrawn42689: Go screw yourself, random ghostly figure! What the hell was that about, anyway?

Thrawn42689 notices that the fighting around him has stopped. The lederhosen mans have been killed or incapacitated. Maybechild and Ahnuld are both staring at him.

Thrawn42689: Um.

Thrawn42689 coughs up a bullet.

Thrawn42689: He started it, I swear!

*As Antestarr and Gebohq wandered through the forest, it slowly became thicker, darker, and more humid. Ante pulled out a machete from his pocket in the front of his hoodie, to hack apart various vines that obstructed their path.

Geb: I'm starting to think we might be more lost than we thought...

Ante: It could be worse.

Geb: Oh?

Ante: We could be sold to a Ukranian S&M club.

Geb: That analogy doesn't even fit our situation.

Ante: Oh. Well... we could be starving.

Geb: Now that you mention it, I'm kinda hungry.

Ante: I'm sure there's a Wendy's just down this way!

*As they trudged through the now jungle, a light appeared through the foliage ahead. Their pulses quickened at the sudden sign of an exit to this infernal lostness. They scrambled forward, Ante hacking apart more vines and the leg of a giant tree spider. The light ahead grew larger and larger as they approached... until finally...*

Announcer: We're here live in Cancun for SPRING BREAK!

Geb: Hey... isn't it the middle of Fa

*A flying volleyball careened squarely into Geb's jaw.*

Announcer (angrily): SPRING BREAK!

Geb: Uh... Ante, I don't think we're in Central Europe anymore.

Ante: You may be right, oh Master of the Obvious. Well, there's really only one thing we can do in this situation...

Geb: And that is...?

*Ante whipped off his hoodie and suddenly was wearing nothing but swimming trunks.*

Ante: Beach party! WOOOO!

*Ante ran off to the beach, grabbed a beer, and started drinking and frolicking with bikini clad women.*

Geb: But... but... EeP! Dreamstate! Heroics! Aw, phooey... when in Rome... er... Cancun...

*And thusly, Geb ran off to join the beachside antics.*

*How will our hero and semi-hero escape this most certain temptation? Will Ante and Geb be able to score any phone numbers? Even if they do, what good will they be after the dreamstate collapses? What DO Cancunians do? Is Cancunian a real word? Find out sometime in the near future, right here, on this page. Or maybe on the next page. Depending on how far these people draw this tripe out!*

The writers (the few not on strike) would like to point out that Geb is still bald and still without a shirt on, and thus still working his dream-induced sexy, hairy chest for all the ladies to see.

Though now Geb is also wearing a pair of plastic sunglasses.

Geb: *with two ladies at each side of him* Oh yeah...

...this might be a while, folks. Maybe the other characters of NeS will have better luck finding and confronting the EeP... though that isn't really better luck if you think about it...

And now, a special post, for those who have problems paying attention. Or who are on drugs. Or people with names starting with "T" and ending in "r" and have "race" in between...

A post that is not a B.U.M.P., despite what striking similarities it may have with one. Nor is it a recap.

PRESENTING

A NON- B.U.M.P.! (definately not a recap.)

As you, the AUDIENCE , may or may not know, EVERYBODY (more or less) is within the DREAM-STATE OF NeS thanks in part to GEBOHQ (sexy superhero and leader OBEY HIS COMMANDS</subliminal message>) who commanded the NeS to geb (i.e. run away, avoid conflict, etc.) from its then-current primary localized source, the NeSword . NeS then journeyed into a mysterious machine that had been built by QWERTY (now DEAD) and was being used by GEBIYL (an alternate version of GEBOHQ that hails from the shattered NeS-state a.k.a. NeSHATTERED ) in hopes of controlling the minds of a number of the HEROES and gain control of the NeS, but instead, due to the circumstances, practically botched everything up instead, sending NeS into a deep sleep along with EVERYBODY ELSE (more or less). Thus. a bunch of previous storyarcs that preceeded in The Never-ending Story Thread^2 such as the threat of HELEBON , the mysteries behind MUSTANG , the EVENTS in and around the YEAR 1888 A.D. , the 8th DIMENSION , and the HAUNTED HOUSE OF HEROES (within said mentioned dimension, complete with a bloody, creepy complex , in which most EVERYONE fell asleep, underneath said mentioned house a.k.a. HHH), have yet to be answered. The writers will get to those things (later...)

Since then, it appears that each of the HEROES have lost at least ONE POWER and were apparently stolen by EeP (the Ever-ending Plot). Much has happened as the HEROES searched their surroundings. For one, the mysterious ZANIA stealing body parts and the like from the other HEROES , whom we later discovered to be ANTESTARR attempting to make the first character-made character a.k.a. the Blank Character , has currently become lost with GEBOHQ (still a sexy superhero and leader OBEY HIS COMMANDS</subliminal message>) in an attempt to find the other HEROES , instead finding a SPRING BREAK PARTY in CANCUN that tempted the two to stay. HIGHEMPEROR and THE LAST TRUE EVIL met a scholar of the dreamstate and things of a metaphysical nature named ARKNG THAND , who would eventually guide them in the needed ways to LEAVE the DREAMSTATE OF NeS to the planet JUPITER in hopes of saving LOSIEN from unidentified danger with the company of COOLMATTY , WAI , and KRIG THE VIKING (they're still having trouble with the "leaving" part...). Most EVERYONE ELSE ( "Everyone else" being Ahnuld, CookedHaggis, Ford, Gebiyl, Jim Seven, Maybechild, The Mega-ZZTer, Mimiru, The Otter, Subaru, Qhobeg, Thrawn42689, and Tony), in the process of searching, conviniently converged at an OKTOBERFEST .

One other thing of note is that KIRBY and QWERTY have killed themselves, having been possessed by the NeS and the EeP, respectively, and from their deaths were born MAYAAL and BHAC , who have inherited their TRAITS and POWERS , including that of the position as HANDS OF NeS . ANYONE ELSE (such as Helebon, Morthrandur, Mustang, etc.) are in SOME UNKNOWN PLACE(s) and whom the writers will continue to leave alone for a later time of a vaguely defined future... There is surely much else I, the Narrator , am forgetting to mention--

--But SUDDENLY ...

B.U.M.P.!

Just like that, c R a Z y [color=dark red]c[/color] o L o r [color=royal blue]S[/color] swept over EVERYTHING!

In Cancun !

Ante : Woah, c R a Z y [color=dark red]c[/color] o L o r [color=royal blue]S[/color]! I must be trippin' like mad!

Geb (it should be noted that he is still one sexy superhero and leader OBEY HIS COMMANDS!</subliminal messages>: Indeed.

Approaching the EDGES OF THE DREAMSTATE !

Highemp : Hmmm... c R a Z y [color=dark red]c[/color] o L o r [color=royal blue]S[/color]. Most questionable.

Krig : Krig like c R a Z y [color=dark red]c[/color] o L o r [color=royal blue]S[/color]! Heehee...

At the OKTOBERFEST !

Tony : When did this festival become a disco party?

Ahnuld : OH NOS! HOW WILL I EVER FIND YOU IN THIS MESS OF c R a Z y [color=dark red]c[/color] o L o r [color=royal blue]S[/color], JELLYBEAN PONY?!?!?!

c R a Z y [color=dark red]c[/color] o L o r [color=royal blue]S[/color], EVERYWHERE! What does this mean? Does it bear any real significance? Will color-codes and other fancy tags become commonly used in future posts?

Geb the writer: Dear Lord, please no. This is worse than when I wrote an entire post in Yoda-speak! *speaking outside a window, presumably to the other writers on strike* LOOK GUYS, I HAD TO B.U.M.P. THE THREAD WHILE YOU WERE GONE, AND I JUST WROTE UP A RECAP SO YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON! COME BACK AND HELP ME!

...... so anyway, find out next time, on a very c R a Z y Never-ending Story Thread Squared!

CM: TLTE, I need to talk to you, privately.

TLTE: Sure. Krig, you keep Highemp up here. We're heading below deck.

Krig: Krig watch Hi... highe.... Krig watch him!

The two head below deck. Wai is still calculating just how they are going to pull the trip to jupiter off.

CM: Wai, TLTE, we need to do something about Highemp.

TLTE: What do you mean?

CM: He's a risk to this mission. Krig cannot watch him all the time.

Wai: Are you suggesting that we leave him?

CM: No, we'll need him on this trip.

TLTE: Then what do you think we should do? You obviously have an idea...

----
(To be completed later today...)

(NSP: So technically I don't have time for NeS anymore, but you've made it so easy for me to follow along with your bright colours. I don't feel particularly funny or clever right now, so remember - you asked for this)

Gebohq: "Does this mean we're all going to die?"

Scientist: "Actually no. You see, Cancun, popular tourist destination and famed Mexican city, is also the end of the universe."

Antestarr: "Really."

Scientist: "Yes."

Gebohq: "But what about the dreamstate?"

Scientist: "My calculations explain everything."

Gebohq: "But the planet Jupiter -"

Scientist: (waving a calculator at Geb) "The calculations have it covered."

Gebohq: "The eighth dimension -"

Scientist: "Calculations."

Gebohq: "The Blank Character -"

Scientist: "I have it calculated."

Gebohq: "Time travel and metaphysics -"

Scientist: "Just call me 'the calculationer'!"

Gebohq: "But wait -"

Scientist: "Listen to me, young man. If there's one thing that you should have learned in school, it's that in science we do and say what our pocket calculators tell us. And thankfully, Texas Instruments has explained everything. So there's no need for all this questioning."

Gebohq: "Oh."

*Meanwhile, crazy colours have thrown Oktoberfest into chaos...*

Ahnuld: "...it's like a whole world made out of jellybeans..."

Tony: "It's like I'm already drunk."

Ahnuld: "...it...it's beautiful."

*A tear falls from Ahnuld's cheek.*


(NSP: So there you go. But what the hell, Qwerty's dead now? I remember when *I* killed Qwerty and people were like "oh no, you can't kill Qwerty!" but now everybody's killing Qwerty. wtf)

(NSP: CM, hope you don't mind, but the requisite day is gone and I had an idea. I'll delete this if you want...)

*Cool Matty stares at The Last True Evil for a long, hard moment. Then-*

CM: I think we may need to sedate him. Heavily.

TLTE: What?

CM: He's not safe, TLTE. His writer is going to make him kill you, given half the chance!

TLTE: But...no! Highemperor has done nothing wrong. We can't prove that he's to blame; it's his writer!

CM: One and the same thing...the writer writes, the character acts. It's the same person!

TLTE: No, not in the NeS...the writers are distinct. Their personalitites are their own.

CM: Is that so? Or is that what your own writer wants you to believe?

*TLTE stares at him, the impact of his words gaining weight.*

TLTE: Then you mean to say...that Highemp's writer means to kill off my character?

CM: Precisely.

TLTE: But why would my own writer play along?

Wai: Perhaps he isn't.

*TLTE turns. Wai stands, his robotic arms splayed in an 'I-don't-know-but-maybe' gesture.*

Wai: Perhaps TLTE the Writer has been respectively influenced. Perhaps neither writer is acting of their own free will, now.

*TLTE falls back into the below-deck seats, his mind helplessly racing. CM, however, continues Wai's theory.*

CM: The blackguard who entered the dreamstate, who attacked you...the power of the EeP, enhanced by another presence..

Wai: Is it not possible that a force this powerful could impact on the writers as well?

CM: Come on, TLTE! He even managed to spirit your pistol off you! You keep these on you at all times!

*In exasperation, CM holds up the attempted murder weapon. The Smith and Wesson revolver is still untouched since its discovery, empty of rounds and with the strange black tape covering it. TLTE at first gazes gloomily at it, but then begins to focus on it for the first time since the attack.*

TLTE: ...chamber breech...of course! OF COURSE!

*He leaps to his feet, but suddenly his face turns blank, impassive. He regards CM and Wai neutrally.*

TLTE: Give me both your weapons.

CM: What?!

TLTE: Do it, mageling. Now. Wai, go up and get Krig's axe. Then I'll disarm myself and we'll let Highemp out. With no weapons, we'll feel more at ease to be honest with each other.

Wai: I don't understand...

TLTE: We made a mistake. It wasn't Highemp.

*He looks away, his face grim.*

TLTE: We got the wrong man. And now, before you all... I'll unmask the traitor.

(CLIFFHANGER! Finish this up later...)