--=THE NEVER-ENDING STORY TAKES A NAP=--

In the Writer's Realm...

Geb the writer: Zzzzz...

TLTE the writer: Alright, that's it. We're going on strike.

Most of the other writers, wanting something else to do, rabble in agreement and storm out with pickets demanding raises.

Geb the writer: Zuh?

*Geb the writer flumps on his desk, sound asleep*

[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited July 18, 2004).]

Meanwhile, CM and Mimiru arrive at HHH, who have yet to realize that everyone else in the HHH has been sent into a dreamstate...

CM: Well that's odd, it's really quiet...

Mimiru: I don't even hear footsteps...

CM and Mimiru tour the HHH, looking for someone.

Mimiru: They must have left.

CM: Subaru too? Really must have been important if she didn't contact us beforehand.

Mimiru: Well, sitting here isn't doing any good. We should probably go after Qwerty.

CM: I guess you're right, but hell if I know how we are going to get there!

Mimiru: You're right... we spent hours flying all over this island a week ago, with no luck... wait...

CM: What?

Mimiru: Didn't you say you had already been to his base once before?

CM: Yes...

Mimiru: Then can't you just teleport us there?

CM: DOH!

Mimiru: Congratulations on that one, genius...

CM: Well it only took you a week to figure it out!

Mimiru: Better than never!

CM: Yeah yeah, but I have a problem with that. If I teleport there, I won't be in any sort of condition to fight.

Mimiru: That's why I am going with you. I'll cover you while you rest.

CM: You've never fought a magic user before, though. Are you sure you can handle Qwerty?

Mimiru: Well he isn't exactly an expert in the field either! From what I hear, he just fires off random powerful blasts of energy... that's not much in the way of fighting.

CM: You have a point. Alright then, grab my hand.

Mimiru grabs CM's hand, and CM begins to visualize the base, specifically the hangar, which he remembers most clearly. Not a moment later, they appear inside a dark hangar, with random parts strewn about, and various complete and incomplete robots along the walls. Also, a few strange jets lay in the hangar, in various states of completion.

Mimiru: Yeesh! Don't mad scientists ever clean up after themselves?

CM: I can't personally blame him. Having such a huge building would be quite a pain to clean, I'd imagine.

Mimiru: Well that's what robots are for.

CM: I think you are forgetting this whole "Mad" scientist bit.

Mimiru: Oh, right. Mad is the same as no common sense...

As CM and Mimiru continue to talk about how Qwerty needs to do some serious Spring Cleaning, Qwerty finds them on the security monitors.

Qwerty: Well that is very interesting! Can't quite say I didn't expect him to do this, but it had taken him so long, I didn't think he was going to do it! Well, no matter. On top of the fact that he will never find me in this base, he also needs to make it through my many security measures.

Qwerty flips a switch, and a Code RED message flashes on his monitors. Suddenly, lots of lights illuminate on the control panel before Qwerty, and the screens begin to show different robots getting into position. Also, various mechanical traps arm themselves, awaiting their presence.

Qwerty: Okay, CM, let's see how good you really are.

Stay Tooned for the next NeS!!!
I will be writing more of the outside of the dreamplot, so if ya'll don't mind, stick to the dreamplot while I finish up what is going on outside

Guy on Cell: Can you hear me now? Good!

Qwerty: Wait... how did you get in here?

Guy on Cell: Oh, hold on a sec, some nerd wants to talk with me... *To Qwerty* What do you want?

Qwerty: How did you get in this room?!

Guy on Cell: I'm testing my cellphone, and to make sure it works everywhere, I have to go everywhere.

Qwerty: But you can't just walk i...

Guy on Cell: Look, I got work to do. *To Cell* Okay, I'm back. Sorry about the disruption. Can you hear me now? Good!

Qwerty: But, but how... how did...

Guy on Cell proceeds to walk out the other side of the room...

Qwerty: Maybe some things are better left unexplained...

------------------
"The future is not determined by a throw of the dice, but is determined by the conscious decisions of you and me."
I am addicted to ellipses!!! AHHH!!! ...
Make Sorrowind Worthwhile... join it! http://sorrowind.net

TLTE: No no no...as the villain, you must know everything to be ready for the plot-twisting moment of exposition!!

Qwerty, startled, spins in his high-backed villain's chair, to see TLTE sitting opposite him in a chair as high-backed and villainous as his own.

Qwerty: TLTE?! How did you escape from captivity?!!

TLTE: Well, it's an interesting story, tovarish. Got a minute?

Qwerty: Not really, what with the whole destroying you thing-

TLTE: I've removed the molecular atomiser cannon hidden in your chair. Standard villain trick, an old favourite of mine.

Qwerty: Then taste the fury of my-

TLTE: -rabid genetically modified daschund pack? Fed. Sleeping peacefully.

Qwerty: Then you leave me no option but to call upon my-

TLTE: -mobile laser satellite defense grid? Reprogrammed out of geosynchronous orbit. Burning up somewhere over the Atlantic.

Qwerty sits in his chair awkwardly, casting about for more villainous devices with which to destroy TLTE, but the Russian smiles indulgently.

TLTE: This is exactly the reason for me being here, Qwerty! There I was, strapped to your wall, about to fall prey to your plan like all the others, when I began musing on your brief but impactful career here on the Nes...

Qwerty: Impactful, you say?

TLTE: Oh yes. You've done a bang-up job.

Qwerty: Why...thank you.

TLTE: De nada. Oh wait, that's Spanish.

IN THE 'REAL' WORLD...

TLTEtheWriter: Bugger it.

BACK AT THE LAIR...

TLTE: My point is...idealistic young hero...rushes onto the scene, eager for adventure and a way to make his mark...only we know all too well what happens next, don't we?

Qwerty: What?

TLTE: Nothing. Nothing at all.

He sinks back in his chair, fists balled together and clenched, his face visibly darkening. Were anyone from the 'good old days' of the NeS present, they would readily attest that at this particular facial expression, TLTE would be either stabbing at you with his sabre, firing his officer's pistol at your loved ones, launching a nuclear device at the free world, or on days when he remembered vitamin supplements, a combination of all three.

TLTE: You think you have everything to offer as a new recruit. You've smarts, a healthy disposition, a gimmicky nationality...the world is your oyster. But are you lauded with fellowship and cameraderie? Nyet! "Make a name for youself," they say! "When they don't say anything about your work, they just like it better," they say! And all the while the harsh world is changing you, and the comfort and the idealism of the heroes is slipping, and ultimately...inevitably...the high-backed villain's chair is just getting more and more comfortable-looking, isn't it? Isn't it?!!

Qwerty: Er...I guess so...

TLTE: Exactly!

TLTE suddenly leaps from his chair, and paces up and down the room. Qwerty watches him, no longer with malice, or even fear, but interest.

TLTE: Restrained to that wall, waiting for your plan to come to fruition, I realised how much like me you really are, and how, with a little tuition, you could be the next great villain of the NeS!

Qwerty: But...I already am! The heroes are powerless to defend themselves! In no time at all they will be my mindless slaves!

TLTE: NO.

TLTE faces Qwerty suddenly with a look of concern and real fear.

TLTE: You cannot remove the NeS of all its heroes, even if for your own purposes. The lesson of what happens then is too recent and painful in my memory. We could reawaken the EeP.

Qwerty: EeP?

TLTE: The bane of the NeS. We will not speak of him now.

He sits back down in his chair and scoots it over to Qwerty.

TLTE: You can rule this world, Qwerty, but in order to do so you must follow some inherent rules; The good guys must be around. The bad guys must be around. There must be conflict. This recipe will keep this story never-ending. Do you understand?

Qwerty: I think so...but...

Suddenly, alarm klaxons ring out around the room. Qwerty rushes to the monitor.

Qwerty: Cool Matty! He's getting nearer...still, my robot patrols will finish him and his girlfriend off.

TLTE: Wrong. Your robots are inconsequential. They are either already scrap metal, or in the process of becoming as such.

TLTE draws himself to his full height, the two of them facing each other in the glow of the camera screens.

TLTE: I can help you with him, but I need something from you as well...

Dreams...

A cold wind blows over the rocky fields of Norway. This far north, very little can survive, even in the summer. Tufts of brown grass eke out a feeble existence around boulders that lay scattered like some giant's game of marbles. Rocky cliffs drop down to cold dark ocean waves, and at the top of one of those cliffs rests a small village, rustic and Norse-looking.

Krig the Viking walks through the streets of his hometown, watching everything in fascination. He is only six years old, though his diminuative stature makes him look younger, his eyes bright with curiosity. He comes to the local smith's shop, watching the burly man forge something. An axe, double bladed, proud and strong. Krig steps toward it, reaching out for it, but the more he reaches, the further away it seems to get.

Krig peers through the trees. The axe is in the distance, retreating further and further. If only he could run faster, he might be able to catch it. Krig runs, moving through the woods at a breathtaking pace. He hadn't known he could run this fast. It is exhilarating. Trees whip by as he weavs in and out between them, the axe always in view. He comes abruptly to a clearing in the trees, a meadow that could hold his entire village. A lone figure dressed in bright white robes stands in the centre of the clearing, holding Krig's axe. But something is wrong -- it's broken, both blades shattered, leaving only the handle and bits of jagged metal on the end.

Bright Man: "Krig, it is broken."

Krig: "Why do you have my axe? Why is it broken?"

Bright Man: "The Prophecy foretold it."

Krig: "What do you mean? I don't understand you."

Bright Man: "You should fix it, Krig. It's not good for things to stay broken."

Krig: "I don't know how to fix. I only know how to break."

Bright Man: "I am counting on you, Krig. The Prophecy foretold it."

The brightly robed man hands Krig the axe handle. Krig takes it and looks at it, as the fog rolls in. It should not be broken like that..........

---------------------------------------
TheOtter runs, gasping for breath, his pursuers close behind. He rounds a corner, nearly falling, keeping a hold on his bowler hat to keep it from flying off. He sees himself reflected in the shop windows as he runs past -- black trenchcoat billowing, dressed in black t-shirt and pants, with a black goatee and little round sunglasses. An irresistable, incorrigible charmer. Every woman's dream. Distracted by his reflection, he almost doesn't notice the woman he runs headlong into.

Otter: "Hey, watch where you're -- Maybechild! What are you doing here?"

Maybe: "I don't know, why are you dreaming about me?"

Otter: "Hey, baby, if I'm dreaming about you it must mean I like you, want to go back to my place and--"

SLAP

Otter: "Oh come on, not even in my dreams? This bites."

Maybe: "Who were you running from?"

Otter looks around, seeing no sign of his pursuers.

Otter: "Uh... some guys... who... I forget. I think they wanted my autograph."

Maybe: "Right..."

Otter: "Hey, do you know why we're supposed to be here? I wasn't paying attention."

Maybe: "I was going to ask you the same thing -- one minute I was wandering through that forest, lost, and the next I'm in this crazy place..."

Otter: "Oh. Well, I think he said something about finding our lost selves, or something. I don't go for all that philosophical jazz. Blimey, I need a beer. I'm too sober to think straight."

Maybe: "Well, you're at the right place for it."

Otter looks around. He notices with surprise that the building they're standing next to is a bar. In fact, there's a sign in the window that says: "TODAY ONLY: FREE BEER!"

Otter: "Huh. I coulda swore that was a clothing store earlier. I remember because they had a mannequin in the window that was one fine piece of artistry, let me tell you. I love bikini season..."

Maybe: "Ugh. Of all people's dreams I had to stumble into, why did it have to be this one?"

Otter: "Hey babe, it means you love me. Everybody knows it."

Maybe: "Oh shut up, you -- hey! Why am I wearing a bikini?"

Otter: "Well it's my dream after all, baby!"

Maybe: "Ugggghh, someone kill me now..."

And so the foray into dreamland begins! What will become of it? What does Krig's dream mean? And how long before Maybechild beats the crap out of Otter? And what has become of the other Heroes? Why have some of them managed to stay outside of the dreamscape? How is that even possible? Stay tuned to find on the Never-ending Story, where the impossible is not only possible, but probable!

------------------
Krig have signature.
Krig smash.

[This message has been edited by Krig_the_Viking (edited July 19, 2004).]

In the middle of Qwerty's base, CM and Mimiru move around the broken and half-completed mechanics of Qwerty's main hanger, still talking about Qwerty's lack of common sense. Back in monitor room, Qwerty intently watches their progress. There looks to be about three spybots tracking the two of them, and around a dozen other bots tracking the several security bots converging on the pair. a last pair are circling the newer Thrawn models, which have not yet been activated. TLTE is nowhere to be seen.

Qwerty: Lack of common sense? These people act like idiots and they say I have no common sense? Take this!!

He presses a button on his PDA, and a burst of laser fire blooms from one of the rotary turrets on the ceiling of the base.

CM: Mimiru! Get down!

She just barely manages to duck before the laser fire slashes past her face, just barely missing.

Qwerty: Hmph. So, they're good enough to avoid that. But.. what about this!

He presses a chain of buttons on the PDA, and a multitude of red dots appear on the screen. Around CM and Mimiru, electricity crackles.

Mimiru: Oh... that can't be good...

A ring of robots reveals itself from the surrounding piles of machinery, weapons brought to bear. A series of clicks are heard around the ring, and then laser fire blooms again. They all fire at the point on the ground where CM and Mimiru are standing. Prepared this time, however, the both manage to dodge the fire, but are pushed off balance by the sheer amount of it. They are forced to running around in the circle, unable to get closer to the robots.

CM: Mimiru! We have to get out of this! Get over here!

The two manage to get to each other, and as soon as CM gets a hold of her, he teleports to just outside the circle. The Robots, being some of Qwerty's early models, are confused, and cease their fire, waiting for instruction from Qwerty. CM is disabled for the moment, crouching down from the exertion of the two teleports. Mimiru, however, is fine, and, with her glasses on, fires a rapid succession of fireballs at the robots. Several explode into flame, melting at their joints.

Qwerty: Well. It seems that they're smart and fast enough to beat those models, but lets see how they do against my turrets.

With yet another chain of commands, a scattering of bluish dots light up on his pads. Another crackle of electricity and the sound of gears shifting meets the ears of CM and Mimiru.

CM: Not more of them! Mimiru, I can't help you right now, I’m wiped out.

Mimiru: Hey, no! I can't teleport yet! What happens if the surround us again! Common, pull yourself together!

The turrets fire, and slugs bury themselves in the metal surrounding them. Mimiru manages to spur CM enough to move him under an overhanging or metal amid the piles of junk. The slugs hit harmlessly onto the metal around them and over their heads, and CM takes a breather. With another set of commands from Qwerty, though, the robots turn and head towards them, slowly surrounding them again. Mimiru stands up to fight, and launches several more fireballs a the robots. Half a dozen more fall, but the nearest ones make it to firing range, and power tier weapons, aiming at CM. Just before they fire however, they explode in a shower of sparks.

Mimiru and Qwerty: Hey, what the heck?

Mimiru, looking around, notices the bullets are no longer hitting around her position, and looks upward. they now aim at the robots, and are obliterating them. One however, seems to surge with electricity, and starts to turn back toward them. Others also seem to be doing this, thought he majority are still firing at the robots.

Mimiru: Hey, CM! Now's our chance! Maybe we can make it to that door over there.

CM: I... can't... too tired...

Mimiru: Oh, just shut up and run!

Mimiru manages to get CM to run, and they manage to just make it to the door as the turrets re-align. Slugs slam harmlessly into the closed door.

Inside this new room, there seems to be a much more honest sense of work. Machines still lie unfinished, but tools lie around them, and oil is splattered on the floor. Electricity grounds itself on the floor. CM manages to recover enough to walk with Mimiru, and together they explore this new room. A few complete-looking bots stand around, but these are not active, and show no signs of going active. There are no turrets that they can see on the ceiling, either. As the pass one workbench, they notice a small round bot with a gun mounted on it. They ignore it s the do the rest, however, and keep moving. However, when the look the other way, the bot glows briefly, then lifts slowly from the ground, spins around to face them, and then promptly disappears.

They walk slowly through this room, still hesitant, expecting a robot to start shooting at them at any moment, but none does, and soon they grow bolder. The soon see a lighted clearing up ahead, and turn for it. upon arriving, they see five bots standing in the center. Mostly skeletal in structure, they look like something you'd see in a biology teacher's room, except for the reinforced chest areas. Suddenly, CM feels a blast of heat shoot across his cheek. Turning around, he sees only Mimiru,

CM: Oh, yes. Very funny. This really isn't the time for jokes, Mimiru.

Mimiru: What do you mean? I didn't do anything.

CM: Yes you did! you just shot a fireball at me! I'm just lucky you can't aim.

Mimiru: Hey, that isn't nice. I can to aim! And anyway, I didn't do it!

CM:Well then who-

Voice: AHAHAHAHA! you two really crack me up, do you know that?

CM: Wait.. Qwerty? Where are you! Show yourself!

Qwerty: Hahaha. all in good time. First, I want you to meet comes friends of mine. First, my lovely little assassination bot. Turn around, CM.

He does, and comes face to face with the round droid from the workbench, now hovering in midair in front of him. The tip of its weapon is glowing red, and is trained on him. It then shimmers and is lost from sight again. Behind him, CM hears a strange, slithering sound, and Mimiru gasps. Whipping around, he sees the now very active Thrawn bots. They all have at least two different guns, except the one to the far right, who wields two short blades. All of them have trained their weapons on the pair.

CM: We've destroyed your other bots, these won't even take a moment!

He launches a fireball at a random ball, bat, as it reaches, the bots move with blinding speed. The fireball impacts harmlessly onto the metal floor, and, in a few seconds, the four bots with guns have each put one of them on the head of either hero, the assassination bot shimmers back into sight with its gun an inch from Mimic’s scalp. the last bot has one blade around Cm’s neck, and another across his right wrist. Cm teleports next to Mimiru, but he can hardly move before the blades are back on him.

Qwerty: Now, now, CM. We can't have you messing up the interior like that. I think I'll just have to give you a private interview to discuss the matter.

The robots then back off, leaving the two room to move to each other. Before CM is released from the blades, however, a metallic voice sounds in his ears.

Thrawn50000: I think I’ll be seeing you again, fleshy.

With this parting shot, the blades slide off him, and 50000 backs away to stand behind the other Thrawns. A door in front of the pair is picked out in a red light, and the Thrawns move so that their path in clear.

Qwerty: Now, come, and witness my power.

The pair moves toward the door. Most of the bots only turn to watch them, but 50000 trails them, blades glinting in the lights, and the assassination bot shimmers back out of sight. They reach the door, and it slides open. on the other side is a circular room, filled with television screens. In the center is Qwerty, sitting in a high-backed, black, villainous looking chair. He stands as they enter.

Qwerty: So, you finally make it. I was worried there for awhile. You're lucky your pretty friend is smarter then you, CM.

CM: Qw... Qwerty..

He doubles over and collapses slowly to the ground, breathing heavily.

Mimiru: CM! What's wrong!

CM: Just... tired. Too many teleports.

Qwerty: Don't worry, I won't do anything to him. and besides, I’m not going to fight you... yet. I have some things to discuss with you first.

Mimiru: What could we possibly want to discuss with you?

Qwerty: Oh, you'd be surprised, little one. Like, I’m sure you'd be interested in the disappearance of your friends?

Mimiru: What are you talking about? They're back at the HHH.

Qwerty:Oh really? Take a look. I think you'll find this one rather particularly interesting.

He waves at a section of the screens showing views of the HHH. the heroes are nowhere to be seen. on the one he pointed to, there is seen the contraption created by shattered Gebohq. The helmets hand loosely on their tethers, and bits of clothing rest on the floor.

Mimiru: What, this can't be real! And what is that machine.

Qwerty: Oh, it is, I assure you. And that machine is the very thing I called you here for.

SO, THE HEROS ARE ALL MISSING (WELL, DUH. BUT ANYWAY...), CM IS DISABLED, AND MIMIRU IS TALKING WITH QWERTY! WHAT WILL BE REVEALED? WHY IS QWERTY NOT ATTACKING THEM? WHERE DID TLTE GO? FIND OUT ALL THIS AND MORE ON THE NEXT EXCITING INSTALLMENT OF NES- VERSION 2!!!!


[nsp]by the way, please noone continue with these characters just yet. either CM or I have to go first, there are things that need to be explained. Just know that CM, TLTE, Mimiru, and Qwerty are still in the eighth dimention.

------------------
"No good can ever come from staying with normal people"
-Outlaw Star
"Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul"
-Tycho, Penny Arcade
"I'm a Cannabal-Vegitarian. I will BBQ an employee if there is no veggie option"
-DX:IW
A Knight's Tail
Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
The Never Ending Story²[/i]

[This message has been edited by Noble Outlaw (edited July 19, 2004).]

(NSP: I assume you mean for me to wait as well. Just let me know when you've done what you want to and I'll have at it..)

GRARRRRRRR!!![/i]

TLTE the writer: WTF? ...Geb, are you abusing your moderator powers?

er... BOW DOWN BEFORE MY GREATNESS!!![/i]

TLTE the writer: Stop editing my posts!

Geb the writer: Well stop making itty-bitty NSPs on the story thread without at least a B.U.M.P.! That's what we have the NeS workshop thread for!

TLTE the writer: I'm going back on strike then.

Geb the writer: And I'm going back to sleep -- zzzzz...

[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited July 20, 2004).]

[nsp] yes, TLTE, I meant for you to not go yet, either, since CM and I have been brainstorming in #NeS, and I think only Geb, Krig, and the two of us know what we're going to do. But, that doesn't matter now, as I’m going to explain it now, and all of us will be open again.)

The scene continues in Qwerty's monitor room. Mimiru is still staring at the monitors showing the HHH, still not completely believing Qwerty. She again points to the machine in the one screen.

Mimiru: So, assuming I believe your story that this is the actual HHH, what is so important about this machine? It looks rather decrepit.

Qwerty: Well, that's mostly because it is. The maker had nothing of my skill. However, I do recognize this. It is a design I had considered once before, but have since given it up. Robots are far better for that sort of work.

Mimiru: Uh, what work?

Qwerty: Simply put, slaves. What you are looking at is a nueroelectric transmitter. Basically, it puts a part of the person who would sit over here: (He points to a helmet on the right side of the room) Into the people who would sit over here: (he points toward the several helmets arrayed on the left wall). This, in effect, will change the subjects into slightly dumber versions of the original, who can then be controlled.

Mimiru: Well, that wouldn't make them disappear! Where are they? And who made this, if it wasn't you?

Qwerty: Well, the last question I have an easy answer for. I don't recognize the whole name, but you might. 42689 and AHNULD referred to him as 'Shattered Geb'.

Mimiru: Shattered Gebohq! What's he doing-

Qwerty: Please, stay to important matters. I have much I need to tell you. The other question is where it gets rather complicated. I was watching this rather interesting scene play out when something very odd indeed happened. Just as S. Geb threw the switch, things... got strange. The scene jumped.. or something. And then, they were all gone. I also noticed something strange with the universal vibrations.

Mimiru: The what?

Qwerty: It's not important. Suffice to say that this world changed when CM, and ,I assume, the rest of you dunderheads, arrived. When this machine went off, It changed again. At first I thought the effect was localized, it only seemed to have effected a few miles around the HHH, but those changes have since spread. The first effects are all that have made much of an effect on the physical world, causing those inside the HHH to dissapear, but the spreading field has done something else, much more subtle. The vibrations originally changed by your arrival were... dampened. I can still find the changed patterns, but they are infrequent, and very weak. What this means, I’m not sure, but I can assume that something has happened to the NeS.

Mimiru: Wait.. how do you know about the NeS?

Qwerty: I have my sources. It isn't important. What is important, however, is that I have told you what I needed to. CM! Did you get all that?

CM had been resting while Qwerty and Mimru spoke. He is now sitting up, and looks over at Qwerty.

CM: Yah, I did. But why are you asking me? You were talking to Mimru, I thought.

Qwerty: Well, the thing is, its rather hard to talk to a prone body, so Mimiru was useful to talk to. However, since my talk is over, she is no longer necessary. I have been told I should let you live, but this one isn't of such importance. I saw that you taught her some magic, yes? Think you can take me on, girl?

Mimiru: Of course!

Qwerty: Haha! You've got some spirit! I like that. But, first, I think we need a better locale. How about... your training room?

Mimiru: But.. how do you...

Qwerty: Look around you! I see everything! But, enough of that. Computer! Training Room!

This last shout seems to be made to no one in particular, but the computer obviously heard, as suddenly the whole surroundings of the room shimmer, and suddenly the three find themselves in Mimiru's training room. Or at least, it looks like that.

Qwerty: This is simply a hologram, but I think you'll find it to be a very good one. Oh, and don't try to mess with any of my equipment, will you? All you're going to end up doing is having you magic dissipate. This whole area is wrapped in EMP fields. All magic will be absorbed before it comes anywhere near any components. With that said, Lets go! I'll even let you have the first shot!

OMQ!! SO, MIMIRU AND QWERTY BEGIN THIER FIGHT! WHO WILL BE VICTORIOUS? WILL CM BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING ANYTIME SOON? WHERE HAS TLTE GONE TO? WHAT DO THESE CHANGES TO THE NES REALLY MEAN? FIND OUT ALL THIS AND MORE, UNLESS ITS ME POSTING AGAIN, IN WHICH CASE IT WILL JUST BE THE FIGHT, ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF MOOOOOORRRTAL COMBAT!!

Wait, hold on.. That isn't right! Where's the script? Geb the writer, get up! You're sleeping on it!!

Geb the Writer: Huh.. wazza? eh.. ZZZzzzz...

Ok, let me see here.. oh, ok. anyway...

FIND OUT ALL THIS AND MORE ON THE NEXT EXCITING INSALLMENT OF NESQUARED!!!

Ok, that time it was right. *mumbling* stupid writers, always messing with the script...

[This message has been edited by Noble Outlaw (edited July 20, 2004).]

In the offices of the writers...

Writer's Block: I will find you Jim7 the Writer and i will eat you!!!

Jim7tW remaining silent continues to creep along the wall.. peeking out he notices writer's block holding it's hand against the wound from earlier

Jim7tW: death will find me long before you ever do!!!

Jim7tW leaps to the top of the cubicle walls and leaps from cubicle wall to cubicle wall all while going unseen and unheard by his fellow writers and the writer's block...

Death: Hey Jim

Jim7tW: while leaping off the water cooler Hey Death

Jim7tW leaps down and ducks behind a filing cabinet then draws his sword... writer's block appears around the corner and walks down towards the filing cabinet...

TO BE CONTINUED...


------------------
LONG LIVE DREAMCAST!!!

Qwerty and Mimiru face each other, high-noon style, within the hologramatic projection zone. All is tense and perfectly still, except for Cool Matty, sitting askew and breathing heavily as he regains his strength.

A tumbleweed of binary hologram code floats through the scene. Then-

Mimiru: HAVE AT YOU!

With multiple flashes of light, magical combat begins. Cool Matty focuses all his energy on recovering, but the teleportation strain has taken an obvious toll. Suddenly, next to him, the hologramatic surrounds ebb and sway, and a familiar Russian overcoat enters his vision.

CM: TLTE!

The spy looks down at him in mild surprise.

TLTE: Ah, there you are. Quickly, drink this.

He proffers a flask to the young wizard.

CM: What is it?

TLTE: I found it in Qwerty's laboratory. It's a specially designed elixir that will enable rapid recovery.

Cool Matty takes a large swig. His eyes widen.

CM: This is vodka!

TLTE: Same thing. Mimiru is faring quite well, I see.

They look across the room. Qwerty is backpedalling rapidly, arcs of electricity bursting forth from his limbs in an act of defence, rather than attack. Mimiru presses the advantage, combining her athletic prowess with her fledgling magic ability in an acrobatic style of combat that is as impressive to watch as it is effective against her foe. And then-

Qwerty: HAH!

In an awkward move, the gawky fighter leaps forward, catching Mimiru with an undisciplined kick. The blow is effective, though, and Mimiru loses her balance and falls onto her back. This gives Qwerty some time to regain his composure, and as she slowly and indignantly rises to her feet, he looks no less harmed than when the battle began. Stealing a cursory glance at CM, he spots the new arrival and turns to TLTE with a crooked grin.

Qwerty: Not bad for a novice eh, TLTE? What do you think?

TLTE: Stick to the magic, young one. You fight like Boris Yeltsin used to dance.

Misunderstanding the reference completely, Qwerty takes this as a compliment and throws himself back into the fray. This time, however, Mimiru is very prepared for his physical moves, and unleashes a spinning roundhouse kick that throws him backward into his hologramatic machine. Harmlessly, he bounces off and hits the ground, already rising with a humiliated snarl.

Off to the side of the duel, CM stares up at TLTE.

CM: You're helping him? He conspires to great villainy! He threatens us all with his plots!

TLTE: Yes, how he reminds me of himself in my youth...

CM rises, his energy returning to him, fuelled by anger. Ringlets of fire circle around his clenched fists, and he glares at TLTE furiously. TLTE recoils, his palms out.

TLTE: But that is not my nature now!

CM: I've been told about your origins. Don't think that I don't know that you were once evil.

TLTE: Yes, but-

CM: You won't harm anyone from the NeS now that I'm here!

TLTE: Cool Matty, wait-

But CM's hands fly out and a massive fireball blasts forward. At the last moment, TLTE grasps his heavily-insulated spy overcoat and wraps it around himself. It still hits him like an explosion, and TLTE is flung through the 'walls' of the hologram, which bend and yield before settling again.

Mimiru breaks from ramming Qwerty's head against the wall, seeing the fury in CM's eyes and not comprehending why.

Mimiru: CM, wait!!

But CM leaps through the wall, after TLTE, and Qwerty blasts Mimiru with electricity, forcing her to return to the fray...

(NSP: Cool Matty, let's fight! I haven't had a good spoil for ages, so let's go at it...consult my character sheet, I'll consult yours, and let's see where we go with this!)

[This message has been edited by The Last True Evil (edited July 21, 2004).]

(NSP: As you may have heard from the other NeSians, I am on "Vacation". I am going to attempt to write a post after this NSP, but if it doesn't happen, so be it. I only got a bit of internet time from the Mayo Clinic patient computers

But as for the fight, I will DEFINATELY be in for it. If you would like to write up a post before I get back, feel free. If my post doesn't come along, I'll rewrite when I get back Sunday evening.

Now hopefully, my first bit of battle...)

BOOGA-BOOGA! Geb the Writer STRIKES AGAIN!

CM the writer: Not again...

Bad CoolMatteh! Writing up a NSP all by its lonesome self--

CM the writer: That's right, I'm on strike too.

No wait, that's not what I meant! Come back!!!

------------------
"The future is not determined by a throw of the dice, but is determined by the conscious decisions of you and me."
I am addicted to ellipses!!! AHHH!!! ...
Make Sorrowind Worthwhile... join it! http://sorrowind.net

[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited July 23, 2004).]

TLTE: I don't want to fight you Matty...

CM: I wouldn't want to fight me either!

TLTE: Don't you realize? I helped you earlier, why would I change now?

CM: I don't know, maybe that whole "almost dying" thing did a bit on your personality.

TLTE: Is there no way I can talk you out of this?

CM: I never was much of a talker.

TLTE: So be it, then.

TLTE pulls back his coat, revealing his favorite weapon, a Springfield-Wesson. He loads it, and aims for CM's chest.

TLTE: As a popular sci-fi movie once put it, "Dodge this."

CM, realizing that he specializes in magical and a little melee combat, NOT gun combat, becomes very scared. But he doesn't let this show, but instead plans his next move.

CM: I'm ready for you TLTE, but can you handle me?

TLTE responds with a shot at CM's chest. CM, already prepared for the shot, dives to the floor, and throws his rusty dagger at TLTE. TLTE deflty catches the dagger inches before it hit him in the chest.

TLTE: An intersting weapon, Matty. Ever gave thought to cleaning it?

CM: That dagger symbolizes the loss of my family. Very few people live to see the next day after holding that dagger.

CM aims his staff forward, and fires off a fireball. TLTE, noticing he has little time to react, throws his coat in front of the blast, shielding TLTE from the explosion. However, for the first time, TLTE is shown without his coat, which is sitting on the ground smoldering.

CM: Haha! Let's see you pull those weapons out now!

A grin grows on TLTE's face. Without breaking his eyes from CM, he pulls a sqare of something out of his pocket. He then flaps it open in front of him, revealing a new coat.

TLTE: It's a bit dirty, since I haven't the time to do laundry, but she'll do.

CM: You have TWO of those coats?

TLTE: Why of course! A man has to keep clean somehow! When's the last time you changed YOUR clothes, eh?

CM, reeling from the insult, falls back into a defensive stance, and prepares for what looks to be a long, and difficult battle.

NSP: Sorry, it's all I got time for. Keep it going TLTE, and I'll read it when I get back!

Guy on Cell: Can you hear me now? Good!

Guy on Cell: Wait, I'm losing signal!

Qwerty: Bwahahaha, my electic powers are interrupting your connection!

Guy on Cell: Oh wait, must have been a bug. Can you hear me now? Good!

Qwerty: Impossible! I shall crush you, Guy, just you wait!


------------------
"The future is not determined by a throw of the dice, but is determined by the conscious decisions of you and me."
I am addicted to ellipses!!! AHHH!!! ...
Make Sorrowind Worthwhile... join it! http://sorrowind.net

Yay for highemp! i had to make one slight change to avoid a plothole, but otherwsie this is all him.

----------------------------

1888. Austria, Castle Desmond. The members of the League of Heroes rush into the central chamber, to find Desmond lying dead on the floor, with King Emp and Erro Ohq unconscious. The most disturbing thing, however, is that Erro has inexplicably become older.

Badger: OMQ! What happened here?

Mustang: Blast this room's anti-clairvoyant properties; I can't get a clear fix on what happened here!

King Emp: *stirring* Ow, my head... What happ- Erro!

Erro does not respond, but is frail and feebled by age, unable to regain consciousness.

Admiral Randall I: What happened here, King?

T13TE: Yes, we're all aquiver with curiosity.

King Emp: I don't- I have no idea. Desmond knocked me out.

Badger: *snickering* The mighty King Emp felled by a single blow?

King Emp: *glares*

A frail voice speaks up.

Frail Voice: Enough!

All heads turn as one towards Erro, who is sitting slowly up on the floor. Wrinkles line his face, his hair is white peppered with gray, and he now has a beard flowing to his chest.

T13TE: Easy, comrade. What happened?

Erro's look hardens, as death appears in his eyes.

Erro: We will NEVER speak of this night again.

Badger: But-

Erro: *curtly* Let's go.

Led by Erro, the heroes one by one leave Castle Desmond forever. Mustang lingers, his eyes drifting to the ceiling, where he sees twin orbs of hellflame glowing in the rafters...

-----

The Tenth Circle of Hell, in the Writer's Block. Present day.

Helebon: Blast Gebohq and his interference! If it weren't for him and those meddling kids, I would have gotten away with it!

Darkside: Do not worry, father, we'll get them one of these days.

Helebon: We had better.

His eyes glow at his gaze plumbs the depths and heights of reality alike, until it alights upon a large laboratory and complex in the 8th dimension.

Helebon: Hmm... perhaps this scientist could be of use...

-----

The 8th Dimension, Dr. Qwerty's Lab.

Qwerty: *firing blasts of lightning at Mimiru* ahahahahahahahaha! DIE!

Mimiru: *dodging yet another lightning bolt and tossing some fireballs of her own back* Wait... why can't I hurt you anymore?

Qwerty: Fool! Do you think that I'd be so foolish as to tell you? Do you really think I'm about to tell you that the electromagnetic pulse generator in the floor by your foot is shielding me from all magickal and kinetic energy attacks?

Mimiru grins.

Qwerty: Er... LOOK OVER THERE! *qwerties it*

RAM: QWERTIES it? What the heck? First we have "gebbing it", then "highemping" it, next "TLTEing it", and now "qwertying it"? What is that supposed to mean?

I don't know. I presume that someone cough*NOBLETHEWRITER*cough* will let
us know in a future post.

-----

In the Writer's Realm...

Highemp the Writer: Geb? Uh, Geb?

Geb the Writer: zzzz - huh, what, huh? Whazzat? Who dere? Who dere?

HtW: *rolling eyes* Enough with the "Bringing Down the House" references, Geb. Um, you DO realize all your writers are on strike?

GtW: Yeah, don't remind me... I'm going back to sleep. *closes eyes*

HtW: *sigh* I'll give you a box of donuts if you stay awake and LISTEN to me.

GtW: *one eye opens*

HtW: TWO boxes of donuts.

GtW: *other eye opens*

HtW: Smothered in chocolate, filled with cream cheese, and covered with sprinkles.

GtW: *sits straight up in his chair* I'm listening.

HtW: Now, then, you know your writers are on strike?

GtW: Yes, I do. Alright, where are the donuts?

HtW: They're in your desk drawer. But I'm not finished yet. Massassi is bringing in some replacement writers, who are currently temps, but will become PERMANENT if you don't DO something. Got me?

GtW: Gotcha. The donuts are in the desk drawer. Thanks! *digs in*

Highemp the Writer sighs hopelessly. Returning to his own desk, he continues to write, in hopes that he can keep the NeS going without the temps. Suddenly, hands grasp him from behind and knock him unconscious.

-----

In the dreamstate. Our heroes have separated, all but Mustang and Jim7. Jim is about to leave, when Mustang stops him.

Mustang: I know.

Jim: You know what?

Mustang: I know what you saw.

Jim: Um, right. What did I see exactly?

Mustang: *sigh* You know, you really ruin dramatic effects.

Jim: *shrug* All for the sake of humor, my man.

Mustang: I'm talking about in Castle Desmond. On the night Erro Ohq fought Count Desmond the final time.

Jim: What? How did you-?

Mustang: My magical powers enabled me to sense you. You're good, but not as good as I used to be. I could divine virtually anything back in my prime.

Jim: Okay, but how do you know what happened in that room? Only I was there, besides Desmond and Erro (who are both long dead), and King Emp (who was unconscious).

Mustang: *shrugging* Simple. I used my clairvoyance on you.

Jim: *staring at Mustang malevolently* You did what no mortal should have done, to see what nor mortal should have seen. Erro only saw a glimpse of it in his battle, and you saw what that did to HIM.

Mustang: I am not mortal. Not anymore. I'm a lich now. Ever since 1902. That's how I've lived so long. My true form is a ghastly skeleton type guy. But I am weaker. Before I became a lich, I was already aging, and so do not retain all of my previous powers.

Jim: I see... What do you intend to do?

Mustang: *shrug* Nothing for now. I merely propose that we watch. And wait... for the opportune moment.

Jim: *narrowing his eyes* Watch whom?

Mustang: I think you already know. Ohq. Always Ohq.

-----

Elsewhere in the dreamstate... Highemperor the Character(TM) is striding along, when a phantom wind blows. His eyes narrowing, he peers into the fog and makes out a 7 foot tall monstrosity in human form.

Morthrandur: *walking out of the fog* Highemperor.[/b]

Highemp: Morthrandur. Then you too have sensed it.

Morthrandur: Yes. He has vanished.[/b]

Highemp: I'm used to it.

Morthrandur: ...[/b]

Highemp: But you're not, eh? Trust me, abandonment by your writer is all too common in NeS.

Morthrandur: I am not of the NeS, as you well know. And neither are you.[/b]

Highemp: All we can do is wait. And hope.

In an explosion of shadow and fire, the Sepulchral Phantom is gone.

-----

The Dark Mail, in those days, was not a prominent force in the NeS. They, quite simply, were not needed. The League of Heroes provided the story, the conflict. Even in the face of the Ever-ending Plot did the Dark Mail not need to step in. Of course, that was before the dark times. Before the Empire- er... scratch that. Can I erase this? No? It's inscribed in bloodink? Dangit! Well, anyway, that was before the time of the prisoner.

On a certain day, a person of uncertain identity was released from prison, in the year A.D 5000... And what happened from there, as "They" say, is history.

-Asitord, Official Chronicler of the Annals of the Dark Mail

-----

The man shook his head, eyes opening feebly and shutting just as quickly as soon as a shaft of sunlight hit them. The sun... he had not seen the sun since... when? He did not remember. He didn't even remember who he was.

His hair and beard are a shaggy brown, streaked with shocks of pure white. He looks at his hands, and they are full of callouses He doesn't recognize those hands. He tries to speak, and his voice sounds ragged and scratchy even in his own ears.

Prisoner: I... Who am I?

He doesn't know, and that frightens him. He doesn't know where he is, either. Around him, shafts of sunlight are streaming in through wooden planks in the ceiling above, as the floor below him rocks gently. A ship, then. He is on a seaship.

He hears footsteps, and a guard comes up.

Guard: Prisoner #AA-23, you are to be released today. Come with me.

AA-23: Who... who am I?

Guard: As long as you're on this ship, you're Prisoner AA-23. After that... whoever you want to be.

The guard turns sharply on his heel and leads the amnesiac man up to the deck. AA-23 shields his eyes from the harsh light of the unforgiving sun, and the guard gestures his way down the gangway.

The prisoner steps down onto the wooden dock, where another guard speaks to him.

Guard #2: You've finally arrived. Just check in with the registrar at the census office, and you're free to go.

The prisoner does so, and walks away a free man. But still a slave to his own unremembering mind. Who is he? Where is he from? Only tomorrow holds the secret. And only time will tell. Tune in for this exciting sub story arc, ODYSSEY! Next time on the Neverending Story Squaaaaared!

Guy on Cell: Can you hear me now? Good!

Never one to forego the opportunity of free beer, Otter stumbles past the door frame of the building and through the large plate glass window. In his sober state, he crashes into one of the mannequins that are wearing bikinis. Despite the glass, his clothes are still in one piece if now slightly glittery, and his hat is tipped at an angle which suggests a compete lack of jaunt.

Otter: Oooohh…

Maybe steps through the door carefully, and looks at Otter with a slight grin.

Maybe: Well, at least you can stop bothering me now.

Hoping for the best, Maybe looked around the room for a change of attire as Otter slowly stood up, obviously disappointed with what just happened. As she grasps a pile of clothes that would be slightly more suitable than her Otter-induced attire, her fingers brush wood and sticky paint. With a hesitant tap on the wall, the wall shakes like the thin piece of wood it is, and slowly collapses, landing with a gentle “fwump” on the ground. Well, it would have, if there hadn’t been someone in the way. With a terse reply of vulgarities and a request to “get this bloody piece of wood off me RIGHT NOW”, Maybe assists him, ignoring Otter who is currently lying on the ground in a soberity-induced fit.

Tony: What the !#@* did you do that for!? Gruh… never mind.

Tony the Hero-in-Training (not to be confused with Tony the Lackey for Jim7) is the latest addition to the heroes, although where he comes from outside the dreams is relatively unclear. He’s English - not the snooty upper class English, the down and dirty pub-crawler-type, the ones which say ‘mate’ and ‘bloody’ a lot. He also has a saucepan on his head, obscuring his eyes.

Groggily, Otter sits up with as much dignity he can scrape together in his sober state.

Otter: Hey! Why did you crash my party, and why didn’t you bring any vodka?

Tony: YOUR party? Why would I dream about going to someone else’s party?

Maybe: I thought it was Otter’s dream. That’s why…

She glances down and indicates her not-so-suitable attire. Looking up, she notices Otter leering and slaps him across the face again.

Tony: If it was his dream, then why am I here? Otter, do you normally dream about British students with a saucepan fixation?

Otter: And do you normally dream of suave and sophisticated men clad in black?

Maybe, interrupting: Okay, okay. Now we’ve got the formalities sorted, I think we can conclude Otter’s not dreaming, I’m not dreaming and neither are you… or at least we’re not in control of this dream.

Otter: I knew it! I knew it was unusual that you weren’t n—

Maybe glares at him, angrily.

Maybe: You don’t want to finish that sentence.

Otter flinches away from Maybe as she turns around, pondering on what to do.

Tony: So who’s controlling this place?

Will Otter find some alcohol? Will Maybe ever get some better clothes? Has Tony lost anything in this dream world? Do they even know where they are? Will there be further bad plot, amateur dialogue and a lack of ability in writing? Is it Henry, the mild-mannered janitor? Could be! Tune in to the next installment of NeSquared, or just keep refreshing – someone’ll post something, eventually.

[NSP: First time for everything, huh? Not particularly funny, but then again, humour is not my strong point. Also thought it best to write for Otter and Maybe, 'cause they've been somewhat neglected.]

------------------
Wise men say that fools rush in where angels fear to tread, so look before you leap, so to speak, because the grass is not always greener on the other side of the hill.

[This message has been edited by - Tony - (edited July 24, 2004).]

Back at Qwerty's holodeck, Mimiru now stands facing two rather confused looking robots that appeared when Qwerty qwertied it. Qwerty is nowhere to be seen. I'm saying Qwerty way too much, aren't I? Qwerty Qwerty Qwerty... agh! What!? Why didn't you tell me I was still on? Idiots! *Ahem* Anyway, just, uh... ignore that. The scene unfolds...

Robot 1: Uh, hello there, lady. you wouldn't happen to know what we're doing here, do you?

Robot 2: yes, we're a tad bit confused.

Mimiru: You mean… you don’t know why you’re here?

Robot 1: Not really, no. We just sorta popped into existence a few seconds ago. Not too much time to get your bearings.

Mimiru: But.. didn’t Qwerty build you?

Robot 2: Not that I recall, I mean, I guess we would recall being built, but, well… hell, I don’t know. Who is this Qwerty fellow, anyway?

Mimiru: He’s the builder of this place. I was just fighting him. I thought he would have built you, you look like you could be his work.

Robot 1: Fighting you, was he? Hmm… what do you think, 2?

Robot 2: Well, we don’t have much else to so, I suppose. Why not?

Mimiru: Wait.. what are you two talking about?

Robot 2: Well, if this Qwerty fellow built us, and was fighting you, I guess we should so the same. It not like we have anything else to do, so, uh, prepare yourself. And stuff.

Mimiru: Wait, you don’t have to!

Robot 1: Really? Well, it doesn’t matter anyway. We’re sorta bored, so this is as good as anything. You ready?

Mimiru: Are you sure I can’t convince you otherwise?

Robot 2: yes, quite sure. Now if I can just find-

the two robots burst into flame as one of Mimiru’s fireballs hit them. After shaking her head at the two melting ex-robots, she looks around again for Qwerty. As before, he is nowhere to be seen.

Mimiru: Where is he! He can’t have gotten far. Maybe he went back to that adjacent room. I think the door was this direction…

After walking several yards, she hits the barrier of the hologram. A slight force field helps contain the illusion, but a little push is all she needs to force her way past it. On the other side, she sees CM and TLTE locked in deadly combat. TLTE currently has Cm pressed against a wall, one of the myriad of pipes from the surrounding machinery across CM’s neck.

Mimiru: CM! I can help you!

CM: No, you get going! I saw Qwerty pass through here a little while ago! I can handle TLTE.

As he says this, he manages to land a kick on TLTE, and throws the bar away from off his neck. It clatters away across the floor. The two then stand off, and await each other’s next move. Mimiru, only slightly assured, still decides to go after Qwerty, and heads through the door. It leads back to the room they were in recently, Qwerty’s main workshop. She sees some movement from the area where the newest Thrawns were, and so head in that direction. When she manages to make it there, she is in time to see Qwerty fiddling with something on the assassination bot. It turns to face her when she approaches, and Qwerty, noticing its movement, also turns toward here. He quickly shuts the open console on the bot’s body, and it shimmers from sight. None of the Thrawn robots are in evidence.

Qwerty: Ah, so you’ve managed to keep up with me. So sorry for that earlier problem, I just had a few… contingencies to cover for. Shall we resume? I believe I was winning.

Mimiru: In your dreams! Lets go!

And so the fight resumes. Mimiru fires the first shot, but Qwerty manages to dodge her fireball and launches a bolt of electricity that grazes Mimiru’s left shoulder. Her left arm is paralyzed for a second, but Mimiru manages to send another fireball with her right hand, and this, while dodged, pushed back Qwerty enough so that she could regain feeling in her arm. Another pair of bolts are fired by Qwerty, but Mimiru manages to dodge both, and fires another ball at Qwerty. This one he doesn’t dodge, and it hits him full in the chest, burning his lab coat and slamming him into a machine behind. He gets up quickly, though, and fires another pair of bolts at Mimiru. Again she dodges however, and another pair of fireballs are launched at Qwerty. He rolls under both and rises to kneeling, firing another bolt at Mimiru, which striker her side. This one is much weaker, however, and she manages to shake it off soon. The two circle each other, fire and electricity crackling between them. Qwerty finally moves, and fires one large bolt at Mimiru. She ducks, however, and dives at Qwerty. She rises in front of him and charges a pair of fireballs before he can react.

Mimiru: This is it!

With that, she launches them, blowing Qwerty bodily across the lab floor for a good several yards, to land with his head blow a workbench. He makes an effort to rise, but then collapses, and remains inert until she makes it over to him.

Qwerty, coughing: So… you’ve won. What are you going to do now?

Mimiru: You’ve caused CM and I too much trouble. I’m sorry you had to get messed up in this, Qwerty, but.. good bye.

She powers up one more fireball, and aims it at Qwerty’s head. Just before she’s about fire it, however, a red glow envelops Qwerty.

Mimiru: Hey, want kind of trick is this?

Qwerty: What… *cough*.. what are you- oh, now that is Inter-

He flashes red for a second, and then disappears. Mimiru stares for a second, then puts out her fireball.

Mimiru: What the hell… oh, no…

Qwerty appears in Helebon’s office, landing softly on the floor.

Qwerty: –esting. Wait.. who are… oh, you must be Helebon.

Helebon: Hello, mortal! I am- wait, you know me?

Qwerty: Yes, you’re the guy who stared this whole thing by provoking Geb! Now I’ve got strange people running amok in my lab, my robots are scattered, and I’m being beat by a girl!

Helebon: Hmm, yes, so you know somewhat about me… well, that’s beside the point, I have an offer to make to you.

He begins pacing the floor of his office, acting as if he’s making some great speech., waving his hands grandly.

Helebon: As you may know, I ma the rightful ruler of hell. I am at the moment in a war with Jim7, a usurper who hopes to claim my rightful throne. I have watched our exploits since the heroes have entered the 8th dimension, and I can say I am somewhat impressed. However…

A picture window appears in one of the walls, and Helebon walks over to it and looks out over his lands.

Helebon: I offer you power, land, prestige… even dominance over the heroes!

Darkside: Uh, father?

Helebon: (aside)Not now, son! Anyway, I know you have skill in magic, Qwerty. I can increase that tenfold! I can give you abilities you never dreamed of!

Darkside: I really think-

Helebon: Not Now! Qwerty, look at this vista. Look at the extent of my power. All this could be at your fingertips. I can train you, give you power beyond imagining. All I ask is your allegiance against the heroes. What do you say?

He turns around to face… no one?

Helebon: What? Where did he go?

Darkside: That was what I was trying tot ell you! As soon as you turned around, he pulled something from his belt and just… disappeared!

Helebon: Damn it!

Back in the 8th Dimension, Qwerty reappears behind Mimiru, and, not one to loose an opportunity, fires a large bolt at her. However, she hears the crackle of electricity, and spins around just in time to dodge this latest attack. She powers up two more fireballs and shoots them at Qwerty. Qwerty, still worn out from the last attack, can only watch this happening.

Qwerty: Oh, no. Not agaAAAGGHHH!!

Once again, he is blasted across the workshop floor. He doesn’t even make the attempt to get up this time, however, and just lies still as she approaches him. She powers up one last ball in her right arm, and aims it at Qwerty. Blood runs from his split lip, his clothes are torn and burnt, and his lab coat lies in shreds around his inert body. All he can do as she approaches is cough. Just as she is about to fire, however, she hesitates, then lowers her hand. The fireball dwindles and disappears. Qwerty, slowly, turns toward her.

Qwerty: What are you doing? *Cough* You’ve won. Finish me! *Cough* This is no time for charity, girl!

Mimiru: Don’t think I do this for pity. What you said, back in the monitor room. Was it true?

Qwerty: Every *cough* word. I’m an honorable *cough* man.

Mimiru: Hmph. Yah, Right. But, that aside, if it was all true, CM and I may still need you. You’re coming with me.

Qwerty: Not willingly, I hope you know.

Mimiru: Oh, I wasn’t expecting it. I’m sure you’ve got some cable around here, Hmm... let me see... Aha! This will do nicely!

She finds a long length of thick cable lying nearby, refuse from one of Qwerty’s many projects. She ties it tightly around Qwerty, despite his protests, and then, dragging him behind her, head back over to the monitor room, where CM and TLTE’s battle rages on.

WOW!! SO MIMIRU BEAT QWERTY!!! WILL MIMIRU BE BACK IN TIME TO HELP CM AGAINST THE NEWLY RE-EVIL TLTE? WILL HELEBON GIVE UP ON QWERTY? WILL I HAVE MADE SOME PLOT HOLES WITH THIS? QUITE POSISBLY!! ANYWAY, FIND OUT ALL THIS AND MORE, OR MAYBE LESS, OR MAYBE NONE OF IT AT ALL, YOU NEVER KNOW, ON THE NEXT ISTALLATION OF ‘NESQUARED’!!!![/b]


------------------
"No good can ever come from staying with normal people"
-Outlaw Star
"Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul"
-Tycho, Penny Arcade
"I'm a Cannabal-Vegitarian. I will BBQ an employee if there is no veggie option"
-DX:IW
A Knight's Tail
Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
The Never Ending Story²[/i]

[This message has been edited by Noble Outlaw (edited August 01, 2004).]

TLTE: Are you becoming weary, my good man?

CM: Not quite!

TLTE: By the looks of things, your attacks have become much weaker. Maybe you are more tired than you think!

CM: Hah, you wish, stupid Russian!

TLTE whips out a pistol, and fires a few shots at CM's direction. CM, becoming more proficient at dodging and stopping these bullets, merely incinerates them with a small hand gesture.

TLTE: You do learn quick, I have to say. No matter, I've yet to reveal my best weapon!

CM: Bring it on!

TLTE: I do not believe you are worthy of dying to this weapon. I do not believe you are worthy of even laying an eye on it!

CM: Yeah, well Losien is an ugly fat girl, who only goes out with cheap russians with strong incomprehensible accents!

TLTE's eyes narrow. Although his self-control is monumental, he cannot help but be enraged by this remark. TLTE decides at this point that CM was going down, and hard.

TLTE: So you want to play with real Russian talent? Alright then! Prepare yourself, poor fool!

He stuffs his pistol in his pocket, and opens his trenchcoat. He unveils a sword, strong, and beautiful.

TLTE: This amazing weapon is called an Officer's Sabre. No enemy of me has ever defeated me with this blade. I do not plan on breaking the trend.

CM: A fancy sword isn't going to save your soviet butt! Come on TLTE! I tire of your ramblings!

TLTE: As you wish... fool!

To CM's complete surprise, TLTE tosses the sabre at CM, and barely knicks him on the side. The sword falls to the ground, at which point CM promptly melts it with intense flames.

CM: I don't know what you were thinking, but your precious sword is no longer!

CM fires a blast of flame at TLTE. TLTE attempts to dodge, but doesn't seem to react quite fast enough. It nails him in the side, which instantly ignites and melts his flesh, effectively killing him.

CM: If only it didn't have to end this way... but he brought it upon himself!

[A brief pause]

TLTE: Fool.

CM spins to the sound of TLTE's voice. He turns to see a pistol aimed at his forehead, with TLTE holding the gun.

CM: But...

TLTE: So you would kill me, for a situation you can't possibly hope to understand?

CM: But you...

TLTE: Give me a good reason for why I shouldn't live up to your expectations, and kill you, right here, and right now.

CM: ... I've been dead before. Go ahead, shoot.

TLTE: As you wish.

TLTE pulls the trigger, but the gun doesn't fire. The barrel is now bent severely, and will not fire. A steady male hand grips the barrel.

Wai: I am sorry that I do not understand the situation, TLTE, but I am afraid I cannot yet let you kill him, he has a mission to finish.

CM and TLTE both are shocked to see Wai's return. TLTE is the first to snap out of it, however. He decides that if Wai is going to fight him, he will die. TLTE realizes that he must kill Wai now, if he wishes to live.

TLTE: I am sorry too, but I know that CM will not drop this, and as such, I cannot either.

TLTE pulls another pistol out with his left hand, and fires it at Wai's head. However, with unprecedented and nearly invisible movements, Wai deflects the shot up into the air, and disarms TLTE.

Wai: No more fighting, not until I understand the situation.

CM: There is nothing here that concerns you Wai. Let us be.

Wai: If it concerns NeS, it concerns me. So spill it, before I force it out of the both of you.

Suddenly, a stray shot of electricity from the battle between Qwerty and Mimiru strikes Wai in the back. Sparks fly, and Wai falls to the ground, spasming.

CM: WAI! Oh, no, you are shorting out! I've got to ground you, quickly!

CM spies a wall outlet with grounding, and attempts to move Wai. He realizes that Wai is simply too heavy to move, so he tries teleporting Wai over. But he is so weak from battle that he is unable to do so. Finally, he falls upon Wai, in despair...

CM: No Wai, you have to get up! You are going to die if you don't!

TLTE: I will help you...

CM, nearly in tears, looks up at TLTE, who still remains in the same position.

TLTE: Under one circumstance. You listen to what my motives are. If you still object, feel free to fight me again. But just hear me out, beforehand.

CM: Whatever, just help me move him! It wasn't his fault, he shouldn't have been injured! He's just thinking for everyone else, as always!

TLTE and CM push together, and with their combined strength, they are able to get Wai to the ground plug, and cancel out the shortage. CM runs some diagnostics afterwards.

TLTE: So what is the diagnosis, will he be alright?

CM: His operating system is shot, and his memory is a mess. He's in serious trouble right now, and I... and I.....

TLTE: What?

CM: I don't think I can fix him...

The plot thickens! What will happen to Wai? Will TLTE finally reveal his motives? Will Gebohq post for a change?! All this, and more, on the NEVERENDING STORY, Y Y Y y y y...

Guy on Cell: Hey! Keep it down, I'm trying to hold a conversation here!

TLTE suddenly sneaks up upon Guy on Cell, via Spy mode.

TLTE: Congratulations, GoC, you have just been targeted by the KGB. I hope you are ready to die!

Guy on Cell puts his phone down, and in his shirt pocket. TLTE takes one shot, right at the Guy's chest, not even waiting for a reply. Guy on Cell falls to the floor, and TLTE slips back into the shadows.

Guy on Cell: Oh my lord, that hurt!

He sits up, and looks at his chest pocket. Inside is a cell phone with a bullet lodged into it.

Guy on Cell: Now THAT is a strong cell phone!

True to form, he walks off into the sunset, that is, after he pulls another cell phone out of his pocket and resumes asking if someone can hear him.



------------------
"The future is not determined by a throw of the dice, but is determined by the conscious decisions of you and me."
I am addicted to ellipses!!! AHHH!!! ...
Make Sorrowind Worthwhile... join it! http://sorrowind.net

Voice: I am.

Otter, Maybe & Tony: Zuh?

The three hero-types spin around. The place resembles the interior of a typical bar, complete with a heavy, hazy air. Whether that haziness is due to the nature of dreams or because the bar had "smoking" and "extra smoking" sections was up for debate. As was the identity of the shady man by a nearby table addressing them.

Maybe: And who are you?

Tony: Besides claiming to be controlling the dream we're in.

Maybe: Thanks for reminding the audience.

Tony: No problem.

Voice: I should clarify on my earlier statement. The NeS is asleep, and therefore is the one dreaming the dream presently playing out. I am, however, in control, and will soon be turning this dream into a nightmare...

The shady man leans foreward into the light to reveal... an unknown man.

Maybe, Otter & Tony: ???

Shady man: I should probably use a more familiar face. After all, I and the NeS have yet to reveal our new avatars.

The face of the shady man changes into something a lot more familiar.

Maybe: The Ever-ending Plot!

Otter: EeP!

Tony: Doesn't look too scary to me.

EeP: Ah, fresh blood. You will soon learn to fear me, as do your friends. Your mighty NeS even fears me, and that is why I am in control. And without your powers, there is little any of you can do to stop me from frightening the NeS into self-defeat!

Otter: We don't need anything special for the likes of you!

The Otter rushes over to land a square punch in the EeP's face. As he does so, however, the EeP's head snaps foreward, and enlargens in nightmarish proportions, its now razor-sharp teeth ready to rip the Otter's arm off. In shock and terror, the Otter reels back, his fist just avoiding certain nasty removal, falling on the floor. Just as quickly as the EeP attacked, it reverts back to its former state. All three heroes of NeS stare wide-eyed at the EeP.

EeP: You were saying?

Tony manages to speak up.

Tony: You're going down, we'll make sure of that.

EeP: Ah... your ignorance is bliss. No, your only hope would be if any of you were well-developed and deep as characters. You are products of NeS, however, and thus have the depth of paper. And you certainly do not even know how to regain your lost powers. It will be most amusing watching you struggle, but I think I will play with some of your other mortal friends first. Until next time...

The EeP draws back into the shadows, and dissapears. The Otter stands back up, and he, Maybechild and Tony look at each other for some time.

Tony: So... how about a drink then?

Otter: You read my mind.

Maybe: What?!

[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited August 03, 2004).]

[NSP: Benevolent Upwards Mobility Post, because I can say it. Fun to say, too. Short, but it’s better than nothing, and I’m not too sure how others want this to move.]

Maybechild looked at the two males in disgust. Thinking about beer at a time like this… not that there was any to be had, mind. The whole place was a sham of badly-painted, wet wood and mannequins. Otter, unfazed by the lack of alcohol in the immediate vicinity, reached into his trenchcoat to pull out a bottle of vodka. A bottle of vodka which was no longer there.

Otter: My… vodka…

Tony: You had vo… wait… my saucepan!! AIIE!!

While Otter drooped into melancholy from the loss of his vodka, Tony took it differently. He screamed like a girl and covered his head with his hands and scrambled about trying to find suitable headgear. Maybe, on the other hand, merely looked pissed off at the behaviour of her counterparts. This was going to take a while.

Maybe: Will you two act sensible for a moment!?

The voice made Tony stop in terror, and Otter stand up. It was that tone of voice which promised to do rather nasty, limitless things to the offenders if they didn’t pack it in right now and sit down like good children.

Maybe: By the looks of things, we’ve all lost something important to us. Otter’s lost his vodka, and you…

… she nods towards Tony, still cowering from the light…

Maybe, sighing: … you’ve lost your saucepan, of all things.

Otter: So what did you lose?

Maybe: What do you think? My clothes!

Otter: But you look fi…

Otter promptly receives a smart smack on the chops as Maybe glares daggers.

Tony: S-so tell m-me… what I-is this “E-ever Ending Plot” t-tha turned up-p?

As Maybe and Otter launch into the story, Tony phases out…

However long later, Otter and Maybe, despite the constant arguing, twisting of facts, mistakes, outright lies and suchlike so far, are still only about half-way through the tale. At the moment, Tony looks on in despair, where he promptly douses himself in petrol while the two bicker about what happened, with the occasional slap as Otter got too close for his own good. Eventually, the tale was finished, Tony only seconds from igniting himself with a match he’d had buried in his pocket. Tossing the match to the floor and still soaked in petrol, he stood up rather shakily, now imbued with what for want of a better word we shall call knowledge.

Tony: S-so what do we do?

Maybe: We find our stuff and get out of here!

Will Maybe have a feasible plan? Does Otter have some problem with Tony? How easily do petrol stains come out of clothing? Was the writer forced at gunpoint to make this post? Will it be a disaster? Who knows! Don’t touch that mouse! We’ll be right back after a few days of inactivity!

------------------
Wise men say that fools rush in where angels fear to tread, so look before you leap, so to speak, because the grass is not always greener on the other side of the hill.

Gebohq stumbled in a daze through a small Austrian village. The townsfolk eyed him warily as they passed, shrinking away if he approached. Tired of stumbling aimlessly, he opted to sit down on a wooden bench next to an elderly woman who promptly hissed (showing her lack of 85% of her teeth), did a handstand, and backflipped away down the road.

Geb: Why am I stuck in an Austrian village...? And why does it seem vaguely familiar? Man, I could sure go for an eclaire about now.

As if convenient cooincidence wasn't rampant enough, Gebohq spied an eclair sitting conspicuously 3 feet away.

Geb (after picking up the eclaire and starting to munch on it): Mmm... convenient cooincidence sure is tay-yay-yaystee. Still it seems kind of o... Ooh! More food!

Geb, eyeing a french cruller, moved to it to pick it up. It was then that he discovered a veritable trail made up of an apple fritter, a bearclaw, a jelly donut, a bavarian creme filled donut, and finally: a chocolate frosted Uberdonut (approximately 1.5x the normal donuttiness!). Geb moved forward, collecting his newfound treasure/meal, when the Uberdonut slid ever so slightly away from him. Perturbed, he inched closer to it and it slid away more. Gebohq followed the magical sliding donut into a nearby alley, where he was promptly smacked in the head with a frying pan.

-----------------

Some time later, Gebohq's vision began to return to him as he regained consciousness. He found that for some reason, he was having difficulty moving his arms and legs and that the village had been replaced with sideways trees and the Uberdonut replaced with a sideways hooded figure. Oh, and he was also laying down on his side. You know, instead of standing. I suppose that also explained the sideways trees.

Figure: Oh, I see you're waking up again.

As Gebohq's eyes adjusted to his surroundings he realized that the hooded figure was clad in denim shorts, sandals, a neon green hooded sweatshirt with the phrase "Stuff Happens When You Party Naked" emblazoned upon it, and a shiny plastic Jimmy Carter mask where his face should have been. His first reaction was obvious.

Geb: It's history's greatest monster!!

Figure: Huh... oh. Sure. Whatever. But you can call me...

But his name did not come out in words, but rather letters floating in the air. Zania.

Geb: So, is that Zania as in "Tanzania" or Zania "wow, that's a really zany a!"

Zania: More of a zany... uh.

Geb: Oh.

Zania: No, not oh. Uh.

Geb: Nu?

Zania: Blast it all. Just pronounce it however you like. Anyway, I'm about done here.

Zania brandished a glass jar with something putrid looking in it.

Geb: What in the name of all that is NeSsy is that?!

Zania: Oh, just one of your kidneys. I had to hit you with the frying pan again to anesthetize you a couple times when you tried to regain consciousness during the surgery.

Geb: 0_o

Zania: Wow. How do you pronounce that?!

Geb: Well, rather than go into another long drawn out discussion, I'll instead just say it's similar to how I just wriggled my arms and legs free of these girl-scout-poor knots you had the ropes tied around them in. So, I'll be going now. But just you wait, I'll be back for my kidney.

And with that, Gebohq gebbed his way through the forest of this dreamscape, wondering how well he could hero about while missing a kidney.

What will become of our Heroic Leader Type Man? And what does this Zania fellow have in store for the crew? And why did he take Geb's kidney?!

Zania: To sell it on eBay, of course. Kidneys are worth a lot... and you wouldn't believe how much you can get if you just put in "Rare" and "Belonged to a Hero". Like this time I sold a butter knife that I said belonged to Ghengis Khan...

Uhh... those questions were for suspense. (under his breath) Stupid newbies.

Zania: I heard that!

(NSP: I just got back from Nova Scotia, you people write to much damn it! Keep it up, I'll write soon)

------------------
(>º_º)> ±h³ ѳv³®-£ⁿd¡תּ9 §±ºr¥ <(º_º<) | (>º_º)> תּℓζ ШǿѓЖ§|-Юρ <(º_º<)

Suddenly Ahnuld notices he isn’t at home anymore. He seems to be in some sort of house…that isn’t his, but as he goes to look outside the window he notices the house is spinning around and around in some type of air driven sky vortex of doom! The house lands, Ahnuld walks outside to check the damage, he notices a pair of robotic legs sticking out of the house.

Ahnuld: Ahh! I’d notice those cheap pants anywhere! That’s Thrawn42689!!! Oh my god, hang on there buddy! Can you hear me?

Thrawn42689’s legs twitch

Ahnuld: Umm, Alright twitch your left leg for yes, and your right for no! Are you alive?

Thrawn42689’s left leg twitches

Ahnuld: Oh my god, you’re dead?!?!? Oh wait…left leg means yes. Hurah!

Ahnuld turns around to see a large group of tiny people

Ahnuld: Ahh! Who are you? I bet you are the ones who did this!!! Who crushed my partner? Was it YOU?! I’ll get you and your tiny families too!!!

Tiny Man: What the hell are you talking about? It was a tornado moron…And we aren’t tiny you are just freaking huge!

Ahnuld: Ahh! You’re oompa loopas aren’t you?!

Tiny People: …

Ahnuld: …or not?

Tiny Woman: Who are you?

Ahnuld: I am Ahnuld, and that is my friend Thrawn42689!

Thrawn42689’s legs twitch

Ahnuld: Can you help me? I need to get him out of there?

Tiny Man: Hmmm, looks like you’re gonna need a demolition team and some rescue workers… You seek the land of Lahz! But watch out they just had the biggest blizzard in a while, so travel won’t be easy.

Tiny Woman: Yes, The Blizzard of Lahz, 1 ½ feet of snow..enough to cover every person building and car.

Tiny Man: We suggest you take the newly paved road!

Tiny Woman: Right, it’s the one that just got paved!

Tiny Man: …duh! Just go straight, it has new yellow lines you can’t miss it!

Ahnuld: Thanks much kind Oompa Loopa people! I sh…wait…what yellow lines? Everything looks black and white to me.

Tiny Man: Ha! Silly me, hold on a second.

A tiny man runs over and hits the ‘color switch’

Ahnuld: Ahh!! You could have warned me, ack that’s bright.

Tiny Man: Sorry about that, heh heh… Oh! One more thing! Your brain is in a state of paralysis and your cerebral paths are being blocked by neron waves preventing you from awakening from your current state.

Ahnuld: Wh..Wha..uh…

Tiny Man: Your in a dream.

Ahnuld: Oh…well that’s cool I guess.. That certainly explains all the weird things going on! So this must mean that Thrawn42689 is alright after all, since this is just a dream!

Tiny Man: NO! Even though this is a dream, whatever happens in the dreamworld also happens in the real world. Because if Thrawn42689 dies in the dreamworld he dies in the real world too! The body cannot live without the mind!

Neo: It’s true you know!

Well that sure explains a lot! It’s a dream! What will happen?! Will Ahnuld get to the Land of Lahz in time to save Thrawn42689?! Find out next time on THE NEVER ENDING STORY……SQUARED!!![/b]


------------------
(>º_º)> ±h³ ѳv³®-£ⁿd¡תּ9 §±ºr¥ <(º_º<) | (>º_º)> תּℓζ ШǿѓЖ§|-Юρ <(º_º<)

Ahnuld tentatively approaches Thrawn's legs.

Ahnuld: Hmm, I wonder if I can use his boots to get home.

Ahnuld reaches down and gives the left boot a sharp tug. The boot kicks him in the face.

Ahnuld: Ooh, blood.

With a mighty...thing...of strength, Thrawn42689 lifts the house off of him and hurls it into the air.

Ahnuld: Cool.

Thrawn42689: Stay the f*** away from my boots. Comprende?

Ahnuld: Jawohl!

Thrawn42689: No, see. We were doing the Spanish thing. It makes us sound tough. You know, like robots should be.

Ahnuld: But...I can't speak Spanish.

Thrawn42689: Neither can I, but you don't hear me complaining.

Ahnuld: But--

Thrawn42689: Just shut up. We need to find a way out of here.

Ahnuld: Narrator! Tell a lie!

God dammit!

Ahnuld: Now!

Ahnuld is wearing ladies' underwear!

Ahnuld: Okay, that should do it.

Thrawn42689: Nothing happened.

Ahnuld: You're right. Hey, it worked before!

In the dream world...anything is possible. Dun dun dunn.

Ahnuld: But would mean...oh s***.

Thrawn42689: Good job. With you around we won't even need heroes to screw things up for us.

Ahnuld: Shut up.

Thrawn42689: We're going to be here for a while, looks like. We'll need something to do, else we'll go crazy.

Ahnuld: I want my Jellybean Pony!

Thrawn42689: I'm sure it'll turn up. Don't worry. Now, go find me a fish.

Ahnuld: A...fish?

Thrawn42689: Look, I didn't ask about the Jellybean Pony, okay?

Ahnuld: What are you insin-a...insanmua...insinuater...dammit. What are you talking about?

Thrawn42689: It's "insinuating." What am I "insinuating?"

Ahnuld: All right then.

There is a long, awkward silence.

Thrawn42689: You gonna get me a fish?

Ahnuld: I think you'd better get one yourself.

Thrawn42689: Suit yourself.

Thrawn42689 goes off in search of fish. Ahnuld sits down and rocks back and forth while hugging his knees.

Ahnuld: Jellybean Pony, Jellybean Pony. I love Jellybean Pony. I bet if I look up right now Jellybean Pony will be flying down to rescue me!

Ahnuld looks up. There is indeed something flying down towards him, but it's not coming to rescue him. And it's not Jellybean Pony.

Ahnuld: Oh lordy.

The house lands on Ahnuld with an ubiquitous crunch. Thrawn42689 returns, holding a large shark.

Thrawn42689: This is all I could find. Ahnuld? You there?

Thrawn42689 notices the house.

Thrawn42689: You have got to be kidding me. Do I have to get you out of there?

Ahnuld (Muffled): No, that's okay! Jellybean Pony will rescue me! Tra la la!

Thrawn42689: Do I have to go back and get you a shark too?

------------------
Map-Review | My Portfolio | The Matrix: Unplugged

Banks and banks of humming machinery! I've never seen so many knobs. We're going to have to do something, Charlie! Try pushing that button there. No? How about that one? No, not that one either. I know! I'll try pushing this one. Hold my hat will you? Good fellow.

Ahnuld: No..sharks..Sharks..SHAAAAAAAAAA

Ahnuld jumps out of bed in a cold sweat

Ahnuld: Sharks? Pony? Thrawn42689? Lahz? Oompa Loompas?!

Ahnuld looks around the quiet dark bedroom

Ahnuld: This place looks familiar. Like I belong…something about this room…

Ahnuld closes his eyes to rub them, when he opens them he is suddenly in a forest, but this forest is different from all the rest, the trees are not covered in leaves, but covered in…

Ahnuld: Jellybeans?! Woah!!!

Ahnuld notices a sign up the road.

Ahnuld: The Jellybean Village. Pony Ranch ½ mile east!!! Adult Jelly 20 ½ miles North East…eww.

½ mile east later

Ahnuld: Jellybean Pony!!!

Suddenly a large group of 15 or so Jellybean Ponies walk up to Ahnuld

Ahnuld: Which one of you is Jellybean Pony?

15 or so Jellybean ponies raise their…hands?..hoofs?..horse..shoes?

Ahnuld: Uhhh, uh-oh.

Suddenly Ahnuld falls through a random hole in the ground and falls into the sky where he finds himself flying amongst flying carpets

Carpet Taxi Driver: Hey buddy! It’s a green light move it or loose it you friggin’ moron!

Ahnuld: What?! What is happening!?

Magic Carpet: hello and welcome to the Carpet4050-Rf Series

Ahnuld: Err, hello?

Magic Carpet: Question one: What is your name?

Ahnuld: Ahnuld.

Magic Carpet: Does not compute have a nice day.

A door opens up on the magic carpet and Ahnuld continues to fall through the sky. After a rather long fall he lands on a cloud. He stands up to brush himself off and tips over a large vase full of lightning bolts

Security Guard #1: Hey! What are you doing in here?! This is a restricted area

Security Guard #2: Requesting back up, we have a four one niner.

Ahnuld: Look I don’t want any trouble! I just fell from a…actually I don’t know what’s going on.

Security Guard: Yeah right. Save the lies buddy, we know you came to steal the Zeus bolts.

Right at that moment a tall man with a white beard and long white hair enters

Zeus: What seems to be the problem?

Security Guard #1: This man

Security Guard #2: tried to

Security Guard #1: steal your

Security Guard #2: Zeus bolts

Security Guard #1: Sir…

Zeus takes a long hard look at Ahnuld

Zeus: Leave him to me..

A long pause

Zeus: That means you can leave!!!

Security Guard #2: Oh…Right

Security Guard #1: Sorry.

Security Guard #2 and Security Guard #1 exit the…cloud room

What? Find out next time on The Never-Ending Story Squared![/b]


------------------
(>º_º)> ±h³ ѳv³®-£ⁿd¡תּ9 §±ºr¥ <(º_º< ) | (>º_º)> תּℓζ ШǿѓЖ§|-Юρ <(º_º< )

[This message has been edited by SAJN_Master (edited August 11, 2004).]

Thrawn42689 looks at the spot where Ahnuld vanished, shrugs, and turns his attention back to the shark.

Thrawn42689: So, what's up?

Shark: Piss off.

Thrawn42689: Hey, I didn't mean to offend you. What do you say we start over, from scratch? Hi, I'm Thrawn42689. You're a shark. What's up?

Shark: Put me down before I bite your bleeping face off.

Thrawn42689: Did you just say "bleeping?"

Shark: Maybe.

Thrawn42689: That's the stupidest...wow.

Tears flood down the shark's cheeks.

Shark: I can't help it! It's a speech impediment! Nobody loves me! Waahhh!

Thrawn lifts up the shark in his arms.

Thrawn42689: Hey, calm down. It's going to be okay. Rock-a-bye-F*** MY EYE!

The shark has latched itself onto Thrawn42689's eyeball. Thrawn flails his head wildly about, whacking the shark against a nearby rock.

Shark: Mmmrph rrmmph mfrphrmpher!

Thrawn42689: What did you say?

Shark: I said "eat it, mother****er!"

In saying this, the Shark opens his mouth and falls to the ground.

Thrawn42689: It's not nice to lie to invent disabilities to make people pity you. Not that I did pity you, of course. Really. Besides, that doesn't really make sense.

Shark: Oh no?

Thrawn42689: Well, you were the one trying to devour my eyeball, after all.

Shark: Point. Shall we pick it up where we left off?

Thrawn42689: You know, I'd rather not.

Shark: Works for me. But I need to tell you something.

Thrawn42689: Shoot.

Shark: I can get you home, out of this dreamworld. But first you have to do something for me.

Thrawn42689: I'm overjoyed. What?

Shark: When I was seventeen, an insurance salesman cast a spell on me. I was once...a beautiful princess.

Tears well up once again in the shark's eyes.

Thrawn42689: You don't say. Robot, I hope? Or human. Human works too.

Shark: Yes, I was a beautiful human princess with the ability to free people from this world. But now that is gone, with my past life, past form.

Thrawn42689: Don't tell me I have to kiss you. Because if you do...

Shark: How'd you guess?

Thrawn42689: God dammit! That is so typically cliche. This dream sucks.

Shark: Kiss me, Thrawn.

Thrawn42689: Fine.

The two draw close, the shark puckers up--
And its head plops to the ground. Thrawn42689 wipes his knife on the ground and puts it back inside his jacket.

Thrawn42689: That was the most humiliating, disgusting thing I ever almost did. I mean, Amy was different.

Thrawn42689's eyes narrow.

Thrawn42689: Amy. Qwerty. Damn it all, I have to get out of here and kill the ******* . Time slows down when you're looking down the barrel of a gun. Or a fish. I like fish. Not sharks though. Sharks suck. Note the double entendre. I am one slick son of a *****. Now, to get out of here and kill Qwerty!

Thrawn42689 reaches inside his coat and withdraws some big, nasty looking guns. He then wanders off, looking constipated.

------------------
Map-Review | My Portfolio | The Matrix: Unplugged

Banks and banks of humming machinery! I've never seen so many knobs. We're going to have to do something, Charlie! Try pushing that button there. No? How about that one? No, not that one either. I know! I'll try pushing this one. Hold my hat will you? Good fellow.

(NSP: Keep it up, Zania! Hopefully we can make something out of this storyarc...)

Let's set the stage for a new scene, shall we?

Backdrop: The Arena. It looks much like it did after the epic battle with the Ever-ending Plot on page 50.

Players: Dressed in grey and black, Shattered Gebohq...

S. Geb: Shwa? What the hell am I doing here?

...and swirling around as many sheets of paper, the NeS? Well this ought to be somewhat interesting...

S. Geb: NeS? What am I doing here, and why only now have you come to me?

The papers spin tighter and tighter, until a human form appears. The form Geb knew as Erik.

NeS: You know as well as I that I am still very weak from battling the EeP. My appearance to you now is for mere simplicity, since I nor the EeP have revealed our new avatars at this point. We tend to do as little as we can, blend in the background and such. There is a more pressing matter at hand though.

Shattered Gebohq attempts to advance closer to NeS, but the NeS turns and walks away from Shattered Geb.

NeS: As I turned fifty-one, much of what I was had been diminished, and arguable, what didn't kill me made me stronger. Still, I've been having some issues since then and now, especially as of late. Last I knew, Gebohq was confronting Helebon--

S. Geb: No I wasn't--

NeS: --and you were trying to do nasty things to the heroes. Then Geb wanted me to "geb it." I took it as "leave the divine sword" and went to embue the other heroes in need at the time. That machine of yours did things it really shouldn't have been doing, and then everything went black.

Shattered Gebohq continues to try and get a hold on NeS, but with no luck.

NeS: From what I've gathered of the other heroes I've seen, they claim that they are in some "dreamstate"... I'm lost on the matter myself. The important thing is I have found out that the EeP has shown up again. I thought I'd have more time to prepare...

The NeS looks around nervously, and a crisp CRACK! is heard from the ceiling. They both look up, but see nothing unusual. The two notice a dark and heavy air decending upon them though, the shadows becoming darker, the Arena looking more and more like its final moments on page 50. The NeS begins to hurry in its speech, now a little quieter.

NeS: The EeP has managed to steal all that which normally gives you characters power: your mighty weapons, your magic... and too few of you have the strength of character alone to stand up to the EeP. The EeP is surely hoarding them someplace. You need to help them regain their powers and drive back the EeP. I don't think I can face him again.

The NeS turns to face Shattered Gebohq, who has now stopped trying to draw close to NeS.

S. Geb: Why should I? You've given me the cold shoulder for over a thousand years now.

NeS: Because I need a protector. Since my last battle with the EeP, my former Protectors of the Plotfractal have all broken the will and power to continue serving their positions, and now I need new characters to fill in. Last I checked, you sworn to do even the most terrible evil "for the sake of the story."

The NeS and Shattered Geb look into each others eyes, eyes that are holding back hurt. Shattered Geb moves in close to NeS, and this time, the NeS does not move away, though it is definately most displeased.

S. Geb: Let me be Wielder instead. You know I would be a better choice.

NeS: Do you think I'm stupid? I'm giving you more than you deserve, you villian!

S. Geb: Awwww, don't say such things. I know how you feel about me...

NeS: That's enough of this questionable matter. Are you going to accept my offer as Protector of the Plotfractal, or do you want to continue taking the scraps?

Shattered Gebohq mumbles to himself something about "story."

Shattered Geb: Fine. But not for your sake this time, NeS! I'm doing this for myself! I'm casting aside the "ohq" name. From now on, all shall know me as Gebiyl!

NeS: Whatever you say, Evil Geb. I have to go now, talk to the others before EeP finds me.

With that, NeS and the Arena fade away like morning fog, and Shattered Geb--

S. Geb: Gebiyl!

Right. Uh, Gebiyl finds himself in a small Austrian village... Oooooo, much potential here, I think. Will Sh--er--Gebiyl gather the heroes and confront the EeP in hopes of regaining their powers and driving the EeP back? Where are the other characters in the dreamstate? Find out in the next post of The Never-ending Story Thread: NeSquared!

Gebiyl: You're no help, Narrator.

Like you're one to talk...

Thrawn42689 trudges across the desolate post-apocalyptic wasteland of his dream.

Thrawn42689: Eh, it's not that bad.

It's more dramatic this way.

Thrawn42689: Right, right. I'm not feeling particularly imaginative right now, give me something to do.

Suddenly, Thrawn42689 spies a small Austrian village on the horizon!

Thrawn42689: Great. Just one question. How do we know it's an Austrian village?

The village looks very...Austrian.

Thrawn42689: I'm not even going to try anymore.

Thrawn42689 makes his way to the village. He looks about curiously as he strides along the moonlit cobblestone streets. Off in the distance, a shadowy figure detaches itself from the wall and moves toward him.

Thrawn42689: Meh.

Shadowy Figure: Oh great, what now? Who are you?

Thrawn42689: Who wants to know?

Gebiyl: I asked you first.

Thrawn42689: Oh, okay Gebiyl.

Gebiyl: Dammit!

Thrawn42689: I'm Thrawn42689. The robot.

Gebiyl: Oh yeah! I know you.

Thrawn42689: Do you, now?

Gebiyl: I was Shattered Geb.

Thrawn42689: Ah. I'm still working out the Geb thing. So, still evil?

Gebiyl: I'm...not really sure anymore.

Thrawn42689: An affliction all too common these days, wouldn't you say?

Gebiyl: Yeah, whatever. What are you doing in my Austrian village?

Thrawn42689: Trying to find a way out of this stupid dreamworld. There's no story progression in here! I need story progression to kill Qwerty.

Gebiyl: I think I have a way to get out.

Thrawn42689: Don't even think about pulling that on me...

Gebiyl: Pulling what?

Thrawn42689: Ah, nothing. Go on, please.

Gebiyl: Okay. I'm going to need your help. We have to find the other heroes.

Thrawn42689: Other? Are you implying something?

Gebiyl: Well, I'm sort of a hero now. If you aren't, I might need to leave you here.

Thrawn42689: That sounds like something Hitler would say.

Gebiyl: Thank y--er, WHAT?!!

Thrawn42689: Oops, circuit misfire. Sorry.

Gebiyl: Sure.

Thrawn42689: Hey, have you seen Ahnuld recently?

Gebiyl: Why do you ask?

Thrawn42689: No reason.

Gebiyl: Consider yourself lucky to be rid of him. That is, unless you were enjoying all the groping.

Thrawn42689 jerks as if touching an electrical wire. He shudders.

Thrawn42689: Argh. I forgot about that part. You're right, of course.

Gebiyl: How could you possibly forget that?

Thrawn42689: Good question. I'm not sure...maybe it was the HOUSE THAT FELL ON ME? You think?

Gebiyl: Pfft, houses fall on me all the time. It's no problem.

Thrawn42689: Bull.

Gebiyl: Yeah.

Gebiyl sighs.

Gebiyl: I miss villainy already. It's so much more fun.

Thrawn42689: You still haven't told me what made you go good.

Gebiyl's eyes grow large, and he stares off into space with a dreamy expression on his face.

Gebiyl: Love!

Thrawn42689: Love made me turn evil. Are you sure that's what it was?

Gebiyl: Actually, I'm not entirely sure. But it's the only explanation I can think of.

Thrawn42689: Oh well, to each his own. Freak.

Gebiyl: All right, let's get down to business. If we want to get out of this dreamworld. Individuals are no longer powerful enough, as each has lost his or her most prized possession.

Thrawn42689: I don't have a most prized possession.

Gebiyl: Join the club.

Thrawn42689: What club?

Gebiyl: The NOBODY CARES CLUB.

Thrawn42689: I dislike you intensely.

Gebiyl: The feeling is mutual. Now, to get out of here, we have to find all the heroes and focus their power. Or something like that--I didn't really get it myself.

Thrawn42689: I'm pretty sure you told me something like that already.

Gebiyl: Yes. I was elaborating. A bit of a recap too, since you keep derailing the conversation.

Thrawn42689: Sorry, it's a habit. So how do we find the heroes?

Gebiyl: We...look for them? It's really not that hard.

Thrawn42689: Hey, you're right. I think I see a Geb over there.

Gebiyl: "A" Geb?

Thrawn42689: Yep.

Gebiyl: Which one?

Thrawn42689's lip curls upward.

Thrawn42689: It's a f***ing Geb, okay? There are tens of thousands of you guys. I just call 'em, okay? You figure out which one.

Gebiyl: Sheesh, all right. I think that's Gebohq.

Gebiyl jumps up and down waving his arms at Gebohq.

Gebiyl: HEY! OVER HERE!

Thrawn42689: I'll kill him...I'll kill him.

Gebily: What was that?

Thrawn42689: Um...LOOK! GEBOHQ'S GETTING AWAY!

------------------
Map-Review | My Portfolio | The Matrix: Unplugged

Banks and banks of humming machinery! I've never seen so many knobs. We're going to have to do something, Charlie! Try pushing that button there. No? How about that one? No, not that one either. I know! I'll try pushing this one. Hold my hat will you? Good fellow.

In AD 5000....

The traveller is now moving away from the Census office haphzardly, his eyes roving everything, occationally alighting for a second on something, before continuing its wavering path along the streets. Suddenly, a voice is heard. Strong and vibrant, though with a small hint of a mettalic timbyr, it seems strangly familiar...

Voice: Ah, Good. So he has been released. Its nice to see my plans working out correctly, for once.

Noone around hears seems to notice the voice, however, and as the camera pans out, the reason for this is slowly apparents. edges appear on the image of the street, and soon it is seen that it is being displayed on a huge screen. Well, huge is rahter an understatemtn. 'Massive' conveys the image so much better.

The camera pans back further, and a high backed black chair is seen sitting in front of it, the person sitting in it seems to be the owner of the strangly familiar voice. he raises his right arm, and give a quick wave, and then screen suddenly gains huge cracks along it, and then it seperates, the myriad of smaller screens that now result all displaying a different view.

With anouther quick wave, the screens all spin off inot the distance in a different direction,a dn soon all that can be seen in the room is the chair. a glow of light surrounds this from some unknown source, but otherwise the rest of the room cannot bee seen, not even the egdes. a sence of a great emptyness can be felt, however, as if the place is as boundless as the univerce itself.

The voice speaks again. it seems tired this time, however, and some of the vibrancy has been lost:

Voice: *sigh* So long have i existed... so long have i continued on with this quest... was it inevitable that i would be here today.. so far removed from what i once knew? Could it be..... No! No, i mist not think like that. Time in this realm seems to have had an effect on me. i msut return.

His vibrancy returned, he suddenly gets up from the chair, and shoves it away. it slides into the distance, and the man with the familiar voice stands alone in the circle of light. A black cloak is draped over his shoulders, so that much of his figure is not able to be distinguished, but his head and one of his arms can be seen. his head is covered with unruly white hair, but not thin, as would be an old man's it is thick and even seems to have a bit of curl in places. His face is also young and, as with his voice, strangely familiar. His arm is anoutehr matter. although seemign mostly human, parts of his arm are completely black,a nd others shiny, as if covered in metal. His fingernails are blood red, and thick blue veins run close to the skin. also, several thin cables run its length, and when looked at closely, seem to throb slightly, sickeningly.

He holds out this arm and spreads his palm, and says a short chant before lowering it. In a few seconds a red line appears about 6 feet off the ground, just slightly above the person's head. For some reason, the word "wound" comes to mind. it reachs about 4 feet wide, and then starts downward. Now, the word "drips" comes to mind. the extend to the ground, and then, the entire enclosed area flashes red, and shimmers. The man steps through. For a second, his profile is illuminated in red light, and then he is gone, and the door vanishes.

------------------
"No good can ever come from staying with normal people"
-Outlaw Star
"Some people play tennis. I erode the human soul"
-Tycho, Penny Arcade
"I'm a Cannabal-Vegitarian. I will BBQ an employee if there is no veggie option"
-DX:IW
A Knight's Tail
Exile: A Tale of Light in Dark
The Never Ending Story²[/i]

[This message has been edited by Noble Outlaw (edited August 15, 2004).]

Zeus: So?

Ahnuld: So what?

Zeus: Were you trying to steal the Zeus bolts?

Ahnuld: No, I just fell from a…

Zeus: I think you lie!!!

Ahnuld: No, really I…

Zeus: Wraaaa!!!!!!!!!!….*snicker* hahaha, just kidding. I know your innocent. I just like to mess with people.

Ahnuld: Well that isn’t very nice.

Zeus: So…

Ahuld: Uhh..

A long awkward silence….yup

Ahnuld: What do you want?

Zeus: Nothing really, I’m just really bored…It’s so nice to have company around.

Ahnuld: Right.

Zeus: Isn’t this nice?

Ahnuld: Uhh, sure….

…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…

Zeus: Nice weather we’ve been having up here.

Ahuld: Yeah, really nice…

Zeus: Then again I can tell when the weather is going to be nasty or not…

Zeus points to his lightning bolts

Zeus: Hahahahaha!!

Ahnuld: He…He..h..e.. *cough*

An even longer silence then the one before follows, just the faint sound of sniffing, and rustling around in chairs can be heard

Ahnuld: So uhh..

Ahnuld looks at Zeus who has a large smile on his face, he is enjoying just having company around

Zeus: Isn’t this nice?

Ahuld:…Yeah uh listen, I really need to get going.

Zeus: Oh come on, y-you just got here! Cmon, we can play some Pictionary! Or Checkers! Please?

Zeus’ eyes fill up and he looks like a sad little puppy

Ahnuld: No I re…aww man. Fine I guess I can stay a little longer.

Zeus: Oh boy! Here lets play checkers! Want to be red or black?!

Ahnuld: Uhh, I really don’t care.

Zeus: Okay, red it is!

Zeus sets up the checkers table and gets ready to play

Zeus: You can go first.

Ahnuld: Alright..

Ahnuld picks up a random piece and places it one space up

Ahnuld: Your turn.

Zeus: Oh…hmmm…I wasn’t expecting you to move there. Hmm, now I’m stumped…

Zeus picks up a piece…hesitates and puts it back…he picks up another piece…hesitates…and puts it back

Zeus: Hmmm….

Ahnuld starts to twitch

Zeus: Uhh…hmmm No, no….

Ahnuld: WILL YOU MOVE YOUR F-bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep




------------------
(>º_º)> ±h³ ѳv³®-£ⁿd¡תּ9 §±ºr¥ <(º_º<) | (>º_º)> תּℓζ ШǿѓЖ§|-Юρ <(º_º<)

Gebiyl and Thrawn42689 race after Gebohq. The latter doesn't seem to notice, intent on someone or something ahead. Thrawn42689 stoops, picks up a rock, flings it at Geb's head.

Geb's head: CRACK.

Geb: AAGH!

Geb trips and falls to the cobblestone street with another crack.

Gebiyl: If you killed him, you're in big trouble.

Thrawn42689: Eh.

The two reformed villains rush up to the prone figure of Geb and turn him over. He is unconscious, but alive. He also has a bloody nose. The blood from his nose runs down his face and onto Thrawn42689's arm.

Thrawn42689: Ew...ew...person fuel. Get it off!

Thrawn42689 panics and starts running around shaking his arm. Gebiyl ignores him.

Gebiyl: Wake up, little Gebohq. I'm going to poke your face until you wake up. Poke...poke...poke...poke...poke...p—

Gebohq: STOP IT ALREADY!

Gebiyl: Why were you running from us?

Gebohq: Well firstly, you two have displayed villainous tendencies in the past. Secondly, I didn't know you were there, and third...ly...I wasn't running from you.

Gebiyl: Where were you going, then?

Gebohq: I was following someone. Wait, why am I talking to you? You're evil and stuff.

Gebiyl: I changed a little bit. I'm Gebiyl now.

Gebohq: Geb...iyl...

Gebiyl: It's not funny!

Gebohq giggles, but that just makes more blood come out of his nose. So he stops. Suddenly, he remembers something important.

Gebohq: KIDNEY!

Gebohq jumps up and begins running again. Gebiyl and Thrawn42689 (who by this time has grown bored of the person fuel) give chase.

------------------
Map-Review | My Portfolio | The Matrix: Unplugged

Banks and banks of humming machinery! I've never seen so many knobs. We're going to have to do something, Charlie! Try pushing that button there. No? How about that one? No, not that one either. I know! I'll try pushing this one. Hold my hat will you? Good fellow.

We interrupt your viewing of the Trawn and Ahnuld show to bring you this VERY important announcement.


Are you tired? can you not focus on your work? do the words just not seem to flow as they used to?

If so, you may have writers block. But if you talk to your doctor about perscription strength Diarrheaterm, your troubles will soon be over.

Diarrheaterm uses all-natural block fighting chemicals to gently wear away at the wall of immobility insidee your brain, leaving you with a feeling that you can write anything. And you will!

Just ask one of our longtime clients, Mr. G. L.

G.L.: After i went back and re-did a few of my movies, i realised i wanted to do more along the same theme. but i just couldnt seem to get started. so i talked to my doctor about Diarrheaterm and in just 3 days i came out with scripts for 3 more films! its great!


so talk to your doctor about Diarreaterm today! End those writers block blues!


Side effects may include nausea, upset stomache, headache, craving for human flesh, and in frequent cases death. Please ask your doctor before using Diarrheaterm. on second thought, dont use Diarrheaterm.

------------------
<Dormouse> there are very few things quite as comforting as smelling like a close friend.

We are only human, perfect in our imperfections. - Erin amie du Dor

<Dormouse> it's really cute in the way that a sherman tank with a fuzzy steering wheel is cute

Gebohq, obsessed with reclaiming his kidney, took little notice of Gebiyl and Thrawn42689 as they followed him through the narrow streets of Unnamed Austrian Village. High above them, Ahnuld suddenly became too heavy to be supported by the cloud upon which he played checkers with Zeus, and fell through. Ahnuld landed right in front of Geb, causing him to stop in his tracks and leaving and outline of himself in the ground. The Jellybean Pony cantered up to Ahnuld as he climbed out of the hole and started to lick his face.

Ahnuld (brushing himself off): Hi guys!

Geb (running off): KIDNEY!

Thrawn42689: Aw, man, there he goes again. Come on, Ahnuld, get moving.

Ahnuld: Kidney...? What's he need that for? I mean, sure, beans are good for your heart, but the more you eat the more you...

Thrawn42689 (cutting him off): No, no, you fool. These "humans" have organs inside of their fleshy outer shells. His "kidney" is one such organ.

Jellybean Pony: . . .

Ahnuld: Yeah, Jellybean, I'd like to learn to play the organ too.

Thrawn42689: *sigh* Nevermind, just keep up with him.

The group had difficulty keeping up with Geb as he moved with increasingly efficient speed. Finally, he found what he sought in the last place that he looked (mostly because he stopped looking him once they found it). Sitting in the town square was Zania. He was seated on a bench beneath a large bronze statue of a great emperor riding a horse into battle, with a stein of beer in his hand. There was also a stein of beer in Zania's hand.

Zania: Hmm... perhaps I should have asked for a straw. Or gotten a mask with a mouth hole. Ah well... c'est la vie.

Geb: You! You took my kidney!

Zania: Oh, hello again, Mr. Gebohq. I really didn't plan on running into you again so soon, but I was having some difficulty following your friends around, so I decided to have a seat and rest for a bit. Lo and behold, you brought them right to me. Thank you so much.

Geb: Give me back my...

Zania: I'm sorry, I have no business with you right now. Actually, my business is with Ahnuld there.

Ahnuld: Wow, you really want to do business with me? But I don't have any money.

Zania: That's quite alright, I wasn't planning on taking money from you. Zania tossed a knife to Ahnuld. You may need that, though. You see, I'm going to need you to give me a bit of Thrawn42689's skin, if you'd be so kind. Oh, and a Jellybean from your pony.

Thrawn42689: That's absurd! Why would I let him give you some of my skin?! Really, that defies even your human logic!

Zania: Because if he doesn't, Jellybean Pony will never speak again.

JBP: . . .

Ahnuld: Huh... I can't hear you Jellybean Pony. OH NO! You've made him mute!

JBP: . . .

Ahnuld (on the verge of artificial tears): Please! Anything! Just give back Jellybean Pony's voice!

Geb (to Gebiyl): Does the pony really talk, or does he make it up?

Gebiyl: As far as I can tell, he just makes it up.

Geb: Wow...

Gebiyl: Yeah...

Ahnuld: Oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please give back Jellybean Pony's voice...

Zania: Then give me what I require... and you shall have your wish.

Without asking, Ahnuld rolled up Thrawn42689's sleeve and cut out a triangle of skin. He follwed it up by plucking a jellybean from Jellybean Pony. He then handed the skin and jellybean to Zania.

Ahnuld: There, you have what you want. Please give Jellybean Pony's voice back!

Zania: Actually, I'll need just one more thing... Your blue.

Saying that, Zania reached through Ahnuld's chest and pulled out a glowing stream of blue.

Thrawn42689: What are you doing?!

Zania: Didn't you know? Ahnuld runs on Rainbows. I merely liberated him of his blue.

Geb: Is it me, or is this just getting weirder and weirder...?

Gebiyl: Bah, you've seen some weird, this should be about par for the course.

Geb: I dunno...

Gebiyl: Bunny Walkers. Need I say more?

Geb: Right.

As Gebohq and Gebiyl bantered on, Zania faded from view.

Geb: Wait, I wanted to get my kidney back!

Gebiyl: Let him go, I'm interested in seeing where this is going...

Where Zania had been sitting was a small note. Whether or not any of them noticed it, that is to be decided. However, the contents of the note said "Sorry to leave so suddenly, but I have business elsewhere. There is a bright side to the apparent darkness I've given you, even if you may not see it now. And remember to always keep the following in mind: It is the dreamer that is in control, not the dream. Do not allow the dream to be in control."

JBP: . . .

Ahnuld: I'm glad you got your voice back too.

------------------------------------

Another realm of the dreamstate. One of darkness and mists. The only light emanating from JediKirby the White. He sensed another approach, and turned to face the neon-hooded one.

JKtW: Who are you?

Zania: I see a world has not coalesced around you yet. Curious.

JKtW: I choose not to interfere with this dreamstate just yet. But you didn't answer my question. Who are you?

Zania: I go by Zania, for now. I come seeking your assistance.

JKtW: Are you Hero or Villain?

Zania: Hero... Villain... such definite lines that are blurred more all the time. I could say I'm the devil's advocate, but I do not pledge allegiance to Jim7, nor Helebon. However, I do not follow the path of Gebohq either. Suffice to say that I am here in service of The Story.

JKtW: Very well, though what assistance I can give you may be limited.

Zania (procuring a small jar): I merely require a bit of your breath, then I shall be on my way.

JKtW: I see...

JKtW inhaled the small jar, followed by its lid. He then exhaled the jar, with the lid affixed on top, lauching it towards Zania. Catching the jar, Zania faded out from existence in that realm of the dreamstate.

What plans does Zania have for the assorted Characterparts? And what bright side can there be to losing a kidney, or some skin, or a jellybean, or your... uh... blue? Find out in future installments of NeS x NeS: An Adventure in Multiplication! Say, does NeS have an Area...?

[This message has been edited by HGM Zania (edited August 22, 2004).]

On the floor with the heroes in the creepy complex lies Qhobeg, sleeping away...

Qhobeg: ZZZzzz...

*cue wavey fog effect*

Doo-da-la-do, doo-da-la-do, doo-da-la-do...

Lying in a bed in the Hall of Heroes, Qhobeg lies fast asleep.

Qhobeg: ZZZzzz...*snort*

Qhobeg sits up, bolting into an alert state. The room is dark, and scary, and Qhobeg can hear rain beating down on the outside walls of the Hall of Heroes. Slowly, he steps out of the bed and into some footies. A scritch-scritch can be heard behind the closet door. Thunder rumbles outside as Qhobeg cautiously approaches the closet door. Sweat is sticking to his pajama pants, and he can feel the nasty, sharp, weight of death and doom behind the door, yet its weight is pulling him towards the closet door like a fish hooked on a line. He can't help himself.

Closer and closer he walks towards the door, the dark presence behind the door having difficulty staying behind the door, waiting for Qhobeg to open it himself. His hand reaches for the doorknob. He has no control over what he is doing at this point. It's like watching a bad horror movie...

...well, it is like a bad horror movie. That's beside the point though.

Qhobeg turns the knob and opens the door. A clap of thunder slams the room as the sharp nasty doom lunges at Qhobeg!

CRACK!

Qhobeg bolts out of bed again, in the Hall of Heroes, but this time it is not raining or thundering. Just dark.

Qhobeg: *breathes* *phew*

The sharp, nasty doom leaps in front of Qhobeg!

Nasty Doom: QHOBEG!

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\\/\/\//\/\/\/

Qhobeg: AHHHHHHHH!

Kneeling beside Qhobeg was Jim Seven.

Jim: Please don't scream in my face.

Qhobeg: Oh, it's just you.

Qhobeg sits up from a bench he was lying on, and stands with Jim. They are surrounded by some trees, with a big top tent nearby. Beside them is a metal plaque with a drawing of the world, and the letters "Little Earth: Australian District" written beneath it. Qhobeg looks around, then pinches himself.

Qhobeg: Well, at least I'm still not asleep.

Jim: Well, actually, we appear to be in some dreamstate.

Qhobeg: I wish you never cloned me.

Jim: Quite your whining. Let's see if we can find someone in that circus over there.

Qhobeg: Can we get ice cream?

Jim: No.

Qhobeg: Awww...

[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited August 23, 2004).]

Mean-diddly-eanwhile, the trio of beer, utensil and cloth made their way through the dreamscape, each in search of something important to them. Otter led the pack, eyes wide in desperation and anguish behind his circular-rimmed glasses, his eyes tentatively flicking across the landscape in search of something alcoholic. Maybe trailed behind him with a perpetual look of disgust as she held her arms around her body, shivering in her bikini swimsuit type jobbie. Tony was trailing somewhat behind, a sock draped over his hair and over one eye, providing some much needed, if limited, solace.

Tony: Are we nearly there yet?

Maybe: No.

They keep walking through the misty mist.

Tony: Are we nearly there yet?

Maybe: No.

A few moments pass.

Tony: Are we nearly there yet?

Maybe: NO!

A few more moments of trudging through the frozen wasteland…

Tony: Are we nearly there yet?

Maybe: For the last time, NO! (Dropping to a growl) If you say that one more time, I swear—AIIIIIEE!!

Otter spins around and blinks in confusion. His eyes lower to the floor where a rather large hole now was, an inky darkness staring back at him.

Otter: I swear AIIIIIEE'll do what, babe?

Maybe’s voice floats up from the hole.

Maybe: Shut it and help me out of here...

Otter: So now what?

Tony: Well, go on! Go in?

Otter: Me? After what you did to my vodka? Get in that hole.

Tony: As if your argument held any water. After all, you want her.

Maybe, faintly: Urgh… on second thoughts, leave me here.

Otter: Just get in the ******* hole!

Tony: Okay, okay!

Tony steps towards the hole, and looking down, he murmurs something. Otter looks up, eyes ablaze behind his glasses and he starts a headlong charge. He barrels into the back of Tony and they crash into the hole and plummet downwards, as the shaft of light narrows and the hole closes behind them with a slight “ploop”. They land behind Maybe in a small crumpled heap with Tony moaning in pain gently. Otter looks up blearily from the pile at Maybe.

Otter: Nice dress… Urrk… (as he passes out).

Where are the trio? Just what DID Tony say to Otter? Will the further posts make much sense? Will this attract attention back to the NeSquared? Only time will tell! Stay tuned, ‘cause we’re not going anywhere. Oh, you are, are you? Well, fine! I never loved you anyway!! You’re not the man I married! I want a divorce!!

[NSP: Okay, not great, but there you go.]

------------------
Wise men say that fools rush in where angels fear to tread, so look before you leap, so to speak, because the grass is not always greener on the other side of the hill.

[This message has been edited by - Tony - (edited August 26, 2004).]

i found a gernade and put it a digimon and let my dreams come true

Morris the Cat eats Ewoklover69 whole.

B.U.M.P.!

Morris the Cat eats the B.U.M.P. too...

Darkness. Pure darkness in all directions but one. Jedi Kirby the White sits, his eyes closed, his pale white skin glowing in this state of dark. His figure shimmers in and out of existence, the only sure image being transparent. His eyes finally open, and he no longer exists, as if exsisting. In a voice that is folded in two, one sound is as real as light, while the other only exists to not. The voices both speak, and do not speak the following words.

JKtW I exsist Non-Exsistant JKtW I dis-exsist

In this non-exsistant moment, the darkness and light both wink out to nothingness. JKtW both exists and does not in a world that doesn't exsist while exsisting. Everything as nothing. The world of Leet

JKtW Finally, I leave that state of dreaming. I only had to realize that I exsist at the same moment I did not, and I awoke to ____

As he spoke the word that could not be spoke, a shrill silence of screams echoed through the nothingness of 1337.

JKtW Welcome.

Speaking to nothing, and nothing speaking to him. Time that was nothing passed, and the thing that did not exsist while existing as all disappeared with the same shreaks.

JKtW I now understand what I must do.

Time expands and the world known as 1337 explodes to the future. Helebon, current ruler of the future, sits in his mighty chair of doom, Bill gates sits next to him, still pulling matrice feathers from his hair.

Helebon Ah, the white wizard-kirby... welcome to the future, the future where I rule... Helebon laughs evilly

JKtW Helebon, I need your assistance.

Bill Gates What could the lord of time, space, and existence need from someone so powerful as Helebon, yet so weak and meaningless in contrast to the power you posses?

JKtW glances over at BG

JKtW Foolish mortal. I am the lord of space, time, and existence itself. I am the lord of all. By being this, I am also the lord of nothing. My powers are both cosmic, and worthless. I am but the will of the NeS.

JKtW raises a hand, Bill Gates' mouth no longer exists. Helebon speaks, completely ignoring his lackey’s struggles to pry open what is not there.

Helebon And what is it that I can assist you with, master wizard of NeS?

Hours later, JKtW stands within the HHoH, a large shadow stands just behind him

JKtW I apologize for the lack of teleportation, but my control of existence is too shaky to trust with your existence. You're far too valuable to be risked like that.

Shadowed Being [In a Switzerland accent] Your concern is useless. I do not tire from this walk. As well, I do not have the conscience to care.

JKtW Yes, that would be apparent. Come, we're wasting time.

JKtW and this mysterious figure find there way to the bodies of the many Heroes and Questionably aligned characters, their eyes shut and their minds floating through a world of dreams.

JKtW While I may be able to travel through any of their bodies, your structure is only capable of passing through the body of a Mecha. Thrawn will suit our needs just fine. Come, we must hurry.

JKtW stands over Thrawn's robotic body. The figure steps from the shadows to join him. The man-like figure stands a good 7 feet tall, towering over the pale-pink wizard. He wears a tight black suit, a pair of sunglasses cover his eyes. He turns his head towards JKtW.

JKtW points an arm towards the nearly still figure. A small bubble of pink grows at the tip of his hand, engulfing the strange Switzerland robot.

The orb, after consuming the man, shrinks to a manageable size, and falls to the floor of the HHoH. JKtW scoops up the pink, jelly-bean shaped ball and pockets it.

Thrawn still lay motionless as the pink arm disappeared into his forehead, JKtW pushed his small body further into the monstrous creature.

Meanwhile, in the dream world Town of Astralianismitish...[/i]

Geb So yeah, let's like... look for people.

Gebiyl Don't you robots have some 'people finding' program?

Ahnuld No, we're microsoft built, sorry. We only function as word processing, limited web-surfing, and other functions that are absolutely useless. You could pay 300 dollars more and get a robot that cleans and stuff.

Thrawn Or you could go lin...

Just then, thrawn began to spasm uncontrollably. A small pimple shaped wad of pink poked out of his forehead

Gebiyl Whoa, robots get pimples?

Ahnuld Hemorrhoids, too.

Thrawn You fools, this isn't a pimple its... GAH!

The pink pimple shape grew into a balloon-like orb growing from the side of Thrawn's head.

Ahnuld Oh! it's bubble-gum!

Jelly-Bean Pony ...

Ahnuld Alright Jelly-Bean, I'll get the Bubble-gum for you!

Ahnuld knocks over thrawn, and begins to pull and prod at the now gigantic pink ball. After enough pulling, the orb finally breaks loose, and falls to the ground. Just as it lands, the ball pops into a mass of pink smoke and helicopters.

Jelly-Bean Pony ...

Ahnuld Sorry master...

Ahnuld slaps himself and crawls over to JBP's side. Just then, the smoke and helicopters cleared, revealing JKtW

Geb JKtW! Didn't you give me the power of a thousand kirbys once? You know, I've been meaning to use those. What, with all the unexplainable, and ultimate death of the heroes.

Gebiyl You mean, you've got an entire army at your disposal, and you hadn’t thrown it at me yet?

Geb Well, I was getting to it...

Frustrated, JKtW kicks Geb in the shin

JKtW This is serious! Now, Gebiyl...

Gebiyl points to himself

Gebiyl Me?

JKtW Yes you.

Geb But aren't I the important one? I mean, I am...

JKtW manifests a donut just above Geb's reach. Seeing it, geb turns his attention to the donut.

JKtW Geb may be important, but I am hear to assist you in all that you seek.

Gebiyl Who sent you?

JKtW That, I cannot tell you. What I can do, is give you this...

JKtW pulls out the jelly-bean. As it comes into view, Ahnuld dives for it. Rolling, he holds his hand in the air, showing his thieved Jelly-Bean in pride

Ahnuld THE PONY WILL NO LONGER BE INCOMPLETE!

Ahnuld places the Jelly-Bean in place of the missing jelly-bean given to the crazy fluorescent-hooded man on JPB's back. Just then, the jelly-bean explodes in a cloud of smoke. As it settles, JBP bucks up to slide the large robot off of it's back. After standing up, the robot looks around until laying eyes on Gebiyl.

Robot Target identified. Gebiyl, my mission is to protect you.

Gebiyl Huh?

T-2 I am the Terminator, Terminator 2. I am here to protect you, and to ensure your mission status is not a failure.

Gebiyl Why?

T-2 Gebiyl will lead the Heroes in resistance against Helebon, my creator.

Gebiyl But, if Helebon made you... wouldn't you be here to kill me? I mean, your name IS 'Terminator.'

T-2 I was reprogrammed and sent back in time to protect you.

Gebiyl From what?

T-2 I'm not authorized to answer your questions.

The donut above geb's head finally lowers, and he begins munching on it. Gebiyl and T-2 continue to bicker in the background as JKtW speaks with geb.

Geb Are you staying? *munch munch*

JKtW No, I will be back, though. First, I must seek out Querty and the other heroes. Soon, you will understand.

Geb mmmm, ok. *crunch crunch* Why'd you pop out of thrawn like that?

JKtW I had to enter this world some how. I had already escaped once, and in order to get T-2 in here, we had to travel through the body of a non-human.

Thrawn finally recovers from his kirby-pimple. Sitting up, he rubs his forehead.

Thrawn That was ****ing trippy as all-

Just as he was going to finish his sentence, JKtW slams into his face, and disappears into the hole the pimple previously left.

Thrawn Whoa...

What's this!? JKtW is assisting Gebiyl!? Thrawn's got an acne problem?! The JBP is actually Ahnuld's task-master!? I ran out of story to recap!? Does this mean that the NeS has finally ended? There isn't a story to recap! Just crappy writing! Someone, save NeS! Wait... wait, I can recap this! I can recap the lack of recapping! NES IS SAVED! *trails off*


[Fixd]

A cold, desolate plane of existence. A mountain peaks in the center of this empty world of cold. A storm rages on this jagged eyesore of rock and snow. Here, on the peak, 2 bodies stand in the torment of the storm. A blast of pink energy flies from one of the shadows as GandalfKirby holds his old ragged hat onto his head with his free hand, his other bears his staff, the pink energy firing from it's tip.

The blast ricochets off of the other shadow, and shoots upwards towards the storm. Reacting to this sudden shockwave of energy, the storm fires bolts of electricity onto the small flatland at the peak of the mountain, making the battlefield even more dangerous.

The shape formerly known as Bill Gates steps through the thick fog to stand eye to eye with his competitor. Long tusks sprout from the crest of his forehead, wings of flame sprout from his back.

GandalfKirby What are you?! I sense the real bill gates along another plane of existence, you can't possibly be the real gates!

Gates spoke in a shrill voice, partially human, partially demon

HellGates I am born of this mortal you call Gates, and the demon Helebon... I come from the future to stop you from gaining the power of the creator. The power of good. The power of the plot!

With this, he raised a mutated arm high above his head. Tendrils of flame spewed from his joints as his hand began to glow a deep red that burned GandalfKirby's eyes. Suddenly, his clenched hand came down upon GandalfKirby in a powerful force unmatched by anything else he'd ever felt. His clothes seared and disintegrated in the heat, as did his beard and hair. The point of impact had punctured GandalfKirby's pink flesh, tearing a hole in the wizard's forehead. At his, he spoke in anger.

GandalfKirby YOU WILL NOT DEFEATE ME!

HellGates I already have, foolish mortal. As we speak, I am erasing your future from the plotline!

GandalfKirby I won't let that ... I can't let... IT WON'T HAPPEN!

At this, GandalfKirby raised his staff above his head, and after speaking the 3 most important words he'd ever speak, the once powerful wizard desperatelly gouged the shaft of the staff into the heart of the demon-billionaire.

HellGates FOOL! I may die here, but you will never rule in the future. You have been exterminated!

GandalfKirby For the good of the plot...

GandalfKirby suddenly raised the demon and his staff above his head, throwing the two off balance, they tipped closer towards the edge. Finally, GandalfKirby lunged towards the cliff, descending both to the end of the universe, and the end of all things.

His eyes pealed open, and the light from the sun shown through the many trees. The forest was calm and quiet at this early an hour. Touching his face, he felt the dew on his newly grown beard. Sitting up, he looked around the forest. It felt comfortable, like he'd been here before. Suddenly, he noticed the long white shafted staff sitting next to him. Picking it up, he saw a momentary glance of himself within the orb. His beard which he thought was burnt off during the fight with Gates had grown back, and looked as if it had been well kept. His hair, once raggedy and strewn was now long and combed. Just how long had he been in this place? He stood, his legs moved as if made of feathers as he walked along the woods. At his feet, flowers bloomed where he stood. The sun shone where he walked, and the birds chirped with his footstep.

He walked for a time that was immeasurable. He finally came upon a mystical pond, in which a woman lay at it's center, at it's deepest point. What seemed particularly strange, was that she was floating just above the water, as if suspended by unseen currents. He spoke.

?Kirby What... what has happened to me?

He found astonishment in his voice. It echoed through the trees in a soft and harmonic vibe. The water rippled under this echo, in which he finally saw his own self clearly. He was glowing, just like the girl in the pond was. She hadn't answered him yet.

?Kirby What is this place? Why do we glow?

Woman Come to me, wizard. Come to me and lay.

At this, he found his foot guiding itself to the pond. Hesitant, he shifted weight off of the foot, but soon found it useless. His toe touched the surface of the water, and in it's light form, floated. He put his other foot foreword, and was soon walking across the surface of the pool to the beautiful glowing woman laying in it's center.

Woman Ah, jEDIkIRBY The wHITE... you've come to join me, have you?

JKtW Why do you call me this? I am GandalfKirby... Born of the great Kirby wars. I serve the plo-

Woman You served no plot but your own. You were only in control of your own fate, and even that was pre-determined. Come, lay with me.

He lay on the surface of the water, hesitant at first, but found it quite relaxing and comfortable.

JKtW You speak in the past tense.

Woman Because you are not the same wizard, friend. You now are the true bidder of the NeS. The true shaper of it's will. You act as the hands, the voice, the true essence of the NeS. You are the Hand of the Plot. You create conflict, and carry out it's will.

JKtW So Gates, or whatever that was, he was speaking the truth?

Woman Of the future, yes. But you are not truly good, you see. The NeS is nor good or evil, simply never ending. As the hand of it's plot, you create conflict, be this good or bad. You create the story, you ensure the survival of the plot at all costs.

JKtW Am... Am I a god?

Woman You cannot be destroyed unless it is what the plot requires. You are nothing until you need to be something. You are only what you are required to be via the plot.

JKtW How can I accomplish this... If my powers are so limited, and I am but one creature...

Woman You are all, Wizard. You are the white wizard of the plot. You see all, hear all, and know all that you must. Time is not a constraint within your existence. You exist in all forms of time, all forms off existence as a whole, that is, if it is needed.

JKtW I seem to understand. This is unfathomable... I should have so many questions, but... I don't.

Woman Only a mortal, a hero, a villain would have questions so mortal, so naive. You need not know these things because they are not knowledge that one of your duties need know. You only need know how to continue the plot. Go now, and take with you this...

She was standing before JKtW had realized, and a thick wad of papers was held in her hand.

JKtW The NeS...

Woman The physical form, at least. It will be your guide, your power, your essence.

She placed the pages next to him.

Woman You must leave this place now.

At these words, the world around shifted to nothing. To emptiness. To the real world lacking reality. The world of 1337....

Opening his eyes, JKtW sat in the HHoH, Thrawn's body strewn next to him

JKtW I must've been caught in the dreamworld on my way out. But odd, that I would dream about the moment my creation was necessary... perhaps the prophecy, the gift of true good will be granted on this day. Yes, things do seem to be falling into place... I must go.

Later, in Qwerty’s lab…

CoolMatty How will we save WAI?

TLTE and Coolmatty stood over WAI, Coolmatty turning dials and pushing buttons on a keypad..

CoolMatty Hmm, maybe-

Just then, WAI popped into a small pink Jelly-Bean shaped blob. JKtW stood at the doorway to the far end of the lab.

Mimiru Who are you?

CoolMatty He’s JediKirby, hand of the plot… but what are you doing here? What’d you do to WAI?

Qwerty [From his restraints] MMHAPH!

JKtW Exactly, I’ve compacted his soul and essence into that small containment unit. He'll be fine for now, but you all must get to the dreamworld quickly-

Mimiru But, we’re here to destroy the machine, anyway! We can’t go into the dream world!

JKtW No! Foolish mortal! The EeP has always been without defeat in this world because he is Ever Ending, making him immortal. But, in this dream state, he can finally be defeated! You simply cannot understand the unfathomable explanations of the universe. All you must understand, is that what I say must be done with haste. Mage CoolMatty, I leave you with this note. You must get to the dream world, in which Thrawn should be able to assist you with WAI. Then, you must seek Gebohq and the other heroes. Time is running out.

JKtW manifests a note at Coolmatty’s feet

Mimiru What about this guy?

She points down to Qwerty who squirms and wiggles

JKtW Leave him, he’s why I came here. Now hurry, you’re wasting time!

[Continued...]

[since when did we have only 2000 characters to make a post? That's a new thing that I REALLY dislike... Carrying on:]

Coolmatty, while reading the letter, scoops up WAI's containment pill, then rushes Mimiru and TLTE into the next room. JKtW bends down and unties Qwerty’s bonds. As soon as he’s untied, he stands and sends a weak bolt of electricity in JKtW’s general direction. The blast glances off of JKtW as if a raindrop.

JKtW Your blast couldn’t effect me, besides you’re weak as it is. In any case, I don’t want to fight you. You’re far to valuable to fall at my hands. You hold the key: You must not destroy the sleep machine.

Standing, almost astonished by these words, Qwerty simply breaths in and out, pondering to himself. Finally, he spoke.

Qwerty Although I had no intentions, what if I were to suddenly decide to destroy the machine? What exactly would happen?

JKtW The entire plot would spiral to an inevitable defeat, giving EeP the power he needs to end NeS for good.

Qwerty Interesting turn of events… I am able to threaten the plot of NeS…

In another realm…

EeP Ah.. Perfect. This Qwerty fellow suddenly requires the power to threaten the NeS plot? How perfect indeed.

EeP looks into his black cauldron of sorts, depicting Qwerty standing, desperately searching to find within himself a strength in this weak moment. EeP motioned his hand above the cauldron and spoke words of archaic meaning. The depiction of Qwerty began to teem with a black aura.

EeP Use my powers wisely…

Back in the 8th dimension

Qwerty Yes! That’s it… that’s the power I was seeking…

JKtW looks above Qwerty, noticing the flow of dark energy emanating from the dreamworld. The stream followed along the airflows and directed themselves into the soul of Qwerty. EeP found some use for Qwerty, and had thus empowered him. JKtW tightly gripped a-hold of his staff

Qwerty Oh master Wizard of NeS! Self-Sacrificed lord of the plot! Hands of the Story… I challenge you and your plot… I challenge the NeS as a whole!

JKtW immediately lifted his staff above his head, thunderclouds formed above and around him. Lightning imbued the staff and the small pink wizard, crackling across his growing masculine body.

JKtW Than you will be written from it’s existence…

Qwerty has challenged the NeS, and JKtW to a duel!? Why is EeP channeling his dark powers into Qwerty? What exactly will the others do in the dreamworld to thwart EeP’s evil plans!? Could Qwerty actually take down the Protector of the NeS!? Find out next time, on NeSquared!

Damn guys, I don’t even have anything funny to say… Could you try to write a little more, you know, like you’re on crack?

[NSP: Guys, we need everyone to leave the 8th dimension, and to go to the dreamworld. I and NobleOutlaw are going to take care of this fight between JKtW and Qwerty, and we’ve got it all planned out. All you guys need to do is try to stay in the dreamworld until we finish fighting, which should be the next time I post after Noble’s next post. You can do whatever you want to get into the dream world, and to defeate/fight EeP. The note can say whatever, doesn't matter, just try to stay out of our battle, and try not to defeate EeP before we finish fighting.

JediKirby]

CoolMatty, Mimiru, Wai (in a capsule), and TLTE scurry down corridors in the lab until they reach the hangar.

CM: There should be one more plane left, if my memory serves from my last visit here...

Mimiru: Over there!

Mimiru points to a shadowy shape in the corner of the hangar. On approach, it seem to be a plane with a tarp on it, labeled "DO NOT USE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!"

TLTE: I do not think that plane is in condition to fly...

CM, without thinking, as usual, whips the tarp off with telekinesis.

Mimiru: CM, maybe you should listen to TLTE. I don't want to kill ourselves on the way back to HHH.

CM: We have to get there quick. JK doesn't just appear and give you orders like that unless it is very important. So time is of the essence, and I can't teleport.

TLTE: Ah, so you do have limits...

CM: I don't see your clones running us over to HHH...

TLTE: Point. Alright then, let us try our luck.

CM jumps in the jet first, while Mimiru takes the navigator position. TLTE jumps in behind Mimiru, and holds Wai in his hand. CM starts the engines, and everything seems to be running.

CM: Aight, I am all green! What's your board say?

Mimiru: I am good! Let's blow this thing and go home!

CM: Copy that, Rouge Leader! *cough*

The jet begins its takeoff sequence, and the hangar doors open. However, at that moment, a loud noise begins to broadcast from the cockpit.

Noise: Backstreet's back alright!

CM: No... it couldn't be!

Mimiru: So that's why this jet isn't used...

CM&MIMIRU&TLTE: IT CONTINUOUSLY PLAYS BACKSTREET BOYS SONGS! AHHHH!!!!

The plane takes off at that instant, leaving them trapped inside the cockpit until they arrive at HHH.

Soon to be finished up... so don't tack anything on, unless its over a day or something.

Guy on Cell: Where the hell am I?

Somebody: You're in the dreamworld now.

Guy on Cell: Oh, what an opportunity! I can test to see if my cell works through multiple dimensions and imagination!

Guy on Cell: Can you hear me now? Good!

Meanwhile, a long ways away, someone hears this, and cries bloody tears, while a dead horse is beaten, and aliens from Mars explode from the mere sound of it.

(NSP: A post from Highemperor.)

Highemperor walks through the dreamstate. Eventually, the fog of discontinuous dreams solidifies in a cobblestone path. The edges of the path are pure darkness; to step off the path means the death of the will, and thus, the death of the dreamer. Someone wields great power here, to force his will upon the dreamstate, even to the extent that he can annul those of others.

At the end of the cobbled path is a circular gate. Stepping through it, Highemp sees a grassy knoll surrounded by a three-meters-high concrete wall with barbed-wire around it. In the center of a knoll is a single stone keep, with a large tree twisted around it and built into its structure. Highemp senses something at work here... though what, he does not know. With his writer missing, many of his powers are gone.

Bluerobed Figure: *walking up* Ah, good! You've arrived.

Highemp: Um, yeah. Who are you?

Bluerobed Figure: My name is Arkng Thand. I am master of this place. Deitopos, I call it.

Highemp: Deitopos? Just who are you?

Arkng Thand: I'm a scholar. Some would call me a wizard. I do possess some small, formidable skill in magic and plotwielding, however.

Highemp: "Small, formidable"?

Arkng Thand: Shush, you. I have made my home in Deitopos, in the dreamstate, to further my studies. Come inside to my tower.

The two ascend to Arkng's study atop the keep, which is filled wall-to-wall with books on shelves. A sampling of the titles that Highemp sees are: "NeS: A Treatise"; "Mere NeStianity"; "The Calculus of Dimensional Interplay Between Opposites: The Truth Behind the Theorem, Opposites Attract"; and "The WriterGod: Just Who is He?"

Arkng Thand: *sitting behind his desk* As you can see, I am scholar of metaphysics.

Highemp: And you are telling me this why?

Arkng Thand: All in due time, TriEmperor.

Highemp: HIGHemperor.

Arkng Thand: Right, right. My apologies. Anywhos, Triemperor-

Highemp: HIGHEMPEROR.

Arkng Thand: -I wish to give you a quick overview of interNeStian metaphysics. For instance, the WriterGod-

Highemp: Yes, I saw the book titles. The WriterGod is a manifestation of the Ultimate One True God in Nestian literature.

Arkng Thand: Very good! But does reality define Him or does He define reality?

Highemp: The latter, obviously, by definition.

Arkng: So it would seem. But you must understand this. The WriterGod is Lord of the Plot. The NeS is the Plot. And JKtheWhite is the Hand of the Plot. But the plot does NOT include the dreamstate.

Highemp: *blink blink* What?

Arkng: Yes, it's true. I have spent countless generations confirming this. The dreamstate is precisely what the WriterGod has not defined. It is neither existence nor nonexistence. It is what mortals most precisely call "chaos". Mortals can enter into it by various means. It (the dreamstate) is the realm of prayer, sleep, and meditation, by which mere mortals access the WriterGod.

Highemp: Interesting...

Arkng: Yes, indeed. Even were one to conquer the universe, the entire NeS, it would be meaningless, unless one were to conquer the dreamstate as well.

Highemp: But now the NeS has entered the dreamstate of its own volition. What does that mean?

Arkng: It can mean one of two things. Either, the NeS is growing so ambitious that it will attempt to supplant the WriterGod... or it is simply growing psychically closer to the spirit of the WriterGod in its neverendingness. What is infinity?

Highemp: Um, that which never ends.

Arkng: But then, what is infinity squared?

Highemp: The same thing.

Arkng: Yes! Did you know that there are only two other mathematical denotations - "numbers", if you will - that have the same property?

Highemp: Right. Zero and one. Both, when they are taken to the second power, or any power, just as with infinity, are the same thing.

Arkng: And the NeS is already infinite! How can it become greater, such as by squaring itself?

Highemp: Well, I guess it can't.

Arkng: Exactly. Mathematically speaking, zero and one are superior to infinity, for either to the infinith power is the same as well, whereas infinity to the 0th power is one. And ANYTHING times zero is zero.

Highemp: Okay. So... what are you saying?

Arkng Thand: That's logic. Reason and reality. The realm of the Plot, to be specific. This... the dreamstate... is chaos. Infinity cannot become greater in reality. But in chaos, where mathematical truths collapse into singularities, it can!

Highemp: So, you're saying that the dreamstate is not powerful in and of itself, but when a sufficiently powerful enough will is brought to bear over it, that will can be apotheosized to unbelievable proportions?

Arkng: Unimaginable proportions, my friend. That is why you must help your friends stop EeP. He is vulnerable now, yes, but he also stands to gain the same thing the NeS stands to gain. And the NeS is even more vulnerable in the dreamstate than EeP is.

Highemp: *head spinning*

Arkng Thand: Go! Now, to warn the other heroes!

Highemp: I'm NOT-

Arkng: Go!

Lightning crackles along Qwerty’s body, his muscles feel like they’ve just been tripled in size. Dark thoughts fill his mind, but he pushes them back, for now.

Qwerty: So, you’re jEDI kIRBY the wHITE, are you? I’ve heard soo much about you.

The thunderclouds continue to gather around JKtW, though Qwerty seems unperturbed. The new energy surging through his body has given him confidence, as well. He looks back with contempt on the pitiful power he wielded before.

JKtW: If you’ve heard so much about me, then why are you fighting me? I’d think you would have heard that I control the power of the NeS itself. You cannot defeat what you yourself are part of.

Qwerty: Heh. So very eloquent. To bad it’s a load of drivel. The NeS is asleep! Even had you not said it yourself, I already know. Both my machines and TLTE have confirmed it!

JKtW: Heh. Such naiveté. I would have expected better from one so advanced as you, but I guess wisdom does not come with knowlage.

Qwerty: If I was a lesser man, I would have taken offence to that. Oh, wait-

Qwerty charges and slams his shoulder into JKtW. Qwerty’s legs also seemed to have been given a boost by the Eep, and he launches himself at an incredibly speed, and manages to catch JKtW off guard. JKtW gets launched into the air by this unexpected attack, while Qwerty stands rather dumbfounded by an attack even he didn’t expect to work.

With a blast of wind, however, JKtW stops in the middle of the air, and looks down at Qwerty.

JKtW: And you call yourself honorable. Very well, I had hoped to enlighten you, but seeing as you won’t live through this, I supposed it is a lost cause. May I introduce you to a friend of mine? KrigKirby!

Krigkirby: Krig SMASH!!!

A smallish pink blob with the general features of Krig appears to Qwerty’s left, wielding a ridiculously large axe, which is also pink. He charges at Qwerty, swinging wildly. Qwerty, with another burst of speed, is almost 10 feet away by the time Krig gets to where he was.

KrigKirby: Huh? Krig confuGAAAAAHHH!!

A small surge of electricity from Qwerty arcs through it, and it drops to the floor. After a few seconds, the body shimmers and disappears.

Qwerty: Is that your best shot? Sending an insane axe man with the skill of a drunken five-year-old to fight me? I really hope you have something better then that.

JKtW: Oh, I do, Qwerty, I do. You would do best to not underestimate my powers, mortal. Let’s make this a bit more… personal.

He floats down now, and holds his staff vertically in front of him.

JKtW: No more of the other kirbies, for now. This is between you and me. Draw.

JKtW displays quite impressive skill, spinning the staff in all directions with incredibly speed. Qwerty, halfway across the lab, sees this and yawns. He picks up a nasty looking gun that lay nearby, and fires.

Qwerty: Damn showoff.

JKtW was obviously ready for this, however, as he easily deflects the bolt, and then disappears.

Qwerty: What the hell? Come out her you cowa-

JKtW’s staff slams into the back of his head, JKtW having materialized behind Qwerty a second before. For a second, Qwerty blacks out…

Qwerty: Woah… what happened… and where am I? kIRBY! Enough of your tricks! Show yourself!

Only silence meets this, and the darkness stretches in all directions. Suddenly, another voice appears… Qwerty’s voice… but he did not speak it, or so he thought…

Qwerty 2: This isn’t a place made by kIRBY, you buffoon. It’s my own head. I blacked out.

Qwerty: But then how do you know? And why do you sound like me? And who the hell are you, anyway?

Qwerty 2: We’ll I’m you, obviously. Just another part. I know I blacked out because I put two and two together. You know, massive trauma to the back of the head, suddenly its dark… it sorta fits.

Qwerty: Ok, so if I really blacked out-

Qwerty 2: I did.

Qwerty: Ok, ok, I am, then aren’t I lying on the floor at JKtW’s mercy?

Qwerty 2: Probably not. Time is relative. I could probably stay like this for hours and I’d have only gone a second of real time. Or then again, he could be landing the final blow right now…

Qwerty: oh, very reassuring. I suppose there’s a reason I’m locked in here?

Qwerty 2: Well, locked is a rather strong word. I can probably go back as soon as I, or rather we, want to.

Qwerty: Well, I want to, so why are you holding me up?

Qwerty 2: Ok, ok, there is this one problem. This new power and all.. I mean, its great, but where did it come from? And why did I threaten the NeS? I’m a protector!

Qwerty: It not like I’d actually destroy the NeS. I just wanted an excuse to Bat JKtW around a bit, and I seem to be doing quite well. As to where this power came from well… who cares right now? After we beat this guy we can figure it out. We won’t destroy the machine.

Voice: Oh, you will

Qwerty 1 and 2: What did you say?… I didn’t say anything!… Whatever. Let’s get back out there.

The darkness fades, and Qwerty recovers just in time to roll across the ground and bound to his feet. He tries a simply electricity spell to catch JKtW off-guard, and a massive wave results of pulsing, dark energy. It slams into JKtW, and the dark energy courses around him.

JKtW: AAAAGGGGHHH!!! *panting* You… do you even realize who’s power it is you wield? You must fall!

He launches himself at Qwerty, and gathers his energies. Qwerty looks calmly at his approach. JKtW pulls his staff back, swings hard at Qwerty’s left temple, but feints and drives it straight into his stomach but Qwerty’s stomach is no longer there… as well as the rest of his body.

Qwerty: Stop showing off and fight! I won’t stand around and let you swing your staff around like pansy!

JKtW: You arrogant fool! Take this!

Four rather ambiguous kirbies appear around Qwerty, and launch themselves at him. They flight furiously for a few seconds, but then a wave of electricity emanates from Qwerty in all directions. The four kirbies drop to the floor and disappear. Qwerty, looking furious at this surprise attack, takes out his monitor. In a burst of speed, his fingers blur over the pad, and then he puts it away, smiling.

He dashes at JKtW just as several machines surge to life. Looking around, he sees several half-completed humanoid robots lurch up and head toward him. In this split second of distraction, Qwerty gets to him, and delivers a blow right to his temple. JKtW reels, and the robots open fire. His staff blurs as he deflects the bolts. Several morekirbies appear behind the robots, and before Qwerty can send commands, the robots are destroyed. The kirbies disappear again and the two fighters face each other, staring each other down over the laboratory floor. Qwerty, in a blur, launches a barrage of bolts at Kirby. With a wave of his hand, however, the bolts disappear.

Qwerty: Hey, how did you…

JKtW: I told you! I am the hand of the NeS, as well as user of the NeS! I may manipulate it as I wish!

With this he dives at Qwerty, but barely misses. Qwerty launches a bolt of electricity and manages to hit, but JKtW keeps going through the pain and closes the distance. After another feint, the staff connects on Qwerty’s knee as he tries to back away from the enraged puffball. Qwerty stumbles and JKtW takes the opportunity to land another series of blows, the staff hitting all over Qwerty, until he lands almost fifty blows. He then slams it once more over Qwerty’s back, and he slams into the laboratory floor. JKtW backs away slightly, and with a groan, Qwerty rises.

Qwerty: This is not over yet... not hardly…

He backs away slightly, then makes a run for the other side of the lab. Taking out his monitor, he just completes a series of commands as JKtW catches up. JKtW attempts another blow to Qwerty’s temple, but Qwerty ducks and lands a kick on JKtW. He goes flying away as a massive amount of robots rise from the general debris of the lab. Stopping in midair again, he calls more kirbies to take out the robots. Qwerty must have expected this, however, as the robots simultaneously sun around and shot at their respective kribies, instead of at JKtW. Half the Kirbies are hit and shimmer away, but the other half manage to dodge this first attack, and take out their targets. The remaining halves of the two forces circle each other, as JKtW and Qwerty stare each other down.

JKtW: This ends now, mortal. Our forces may be matched, but we ourselves are not. You will fall!

He dives straight at Qwerty, who simultaneously launches himself at JKtW. The space between them seems to waver and stretch as they gather their power. A searing light emanates from JKtW, and heads straight for Qwerty. However, Qwerty somehow manages to twist out of the way. JKtW looks on with fear as his beam misses, and Qwerty closes the distance. Qwerty grabs on to each of JKtW hands, and stares him straight in the eyes.

Qwerty: DIE!!!

Electricity lances through JKtW, and an unearthly scream tears itself from his throat. The other kirbies wink out of existence, and the two fighters plummet to the ground.