Losien Simon - She is currently the main character and leader of the NeS would-be-heroes, a role which she has now become accustomed to acting in confidence. Though extremely beautiful, she was severely lacking in self-esteem - but now she has turned villainous and has gained arrogance and what she perceives as "real respect". By the tropes that are natural law in the story-world of the NeS, all hope of success relies on her; although it has been recently revealed that much of her family's power comes from l33t hacks! She is accompanied by Soriel's lustful blade, Fred, and his equally lustful cape, Carletta, both of whom only she can hear.

Al Ciao - Formerly a normal-ish looking fellow with a Charlie Brown-style shirt, jeans, and spiky neon orange hair, he is now an ectoplasmic bullet-ridden normal-ish looking fellow with a Charlie Brown-style shirt, jeans, and spiky neon orange hair, having been shot to death by his ex-girlfriend. Formerly a powerplayer known as Highemperor, he exorcised that aspect from himself, and that now independent personality left the NeSiverse for more epic venues. Prior to this current quest, Al was briefly the incompetent ruler of Hell, a.k.a. Canada. Darkside secretly brought out his darker nature, which turned out to be the uncontrollable desire to impregnate every eligible female he can. Due to this, and Darkside's manipulation, Al has married a now-feminine Darkside to successfully father their child. As a villainous hero, Al is now dressed as a mafia godfather.

The Last True Evil: Destined as the Ultimate Villain of the NeS, the former Soviet spy seems to be flying in the face of fate. Now Losien's fiancee and father-figure to Amal, TLTE fights for the possibly-futile hope of his redemption. Resourceful and a Romantic in his own harsh way, he has a personal history with Michael MacFarlane, the latest of which includes an attempt by Michael to turn TLTE twice-forgotten. Currently under a powerful story trope that renders him Losien's damsel in distress, The Last True Evil is driven to help the heroes while not destroying Losien's position as main character and his hope for lasting redemption. He is most conflicted by Losien's character shift, but has yet to voice his concerns.

Rachel Pi - Incarnation of April Fools and a servant of the NeS, Rachel is both fated as Gebohq's true love and keeper of conflict within the NeS. Rachel is currently continuing to challenge the authority of Losien, both to test that Losien is strong enough to succeed in the quest and to fulfill her own selfish desire to see Losien fail for having taken Gebohq's place in his former role and his heart. Currently, she aims to keep an eye out for imbalance in the current conflict as well as the Mop of Righteous Fury, the talismanic weapon of Janitor Bob, which has the power to break through Losien's hacks, should that become necessary.

Amal - Once "raised" in solitude by the eminent scholar, Master Thand, Amal had only the company of books provided by Thand until found and adopted by The Last True Evil (TLTE). Since then, Amal has quickly grown up into a wise and discerning young man under TLTE's tutelage, promising to become a hero the likes of which would surpass Losien and Gebohq. Amal aims to do all he can for his current caretakers, Losien and TLTE, as well as keep an eye on the likes Al Ciao.

Soriel - A no-nonsense, bloodthirsty swordsman, currently wounded by the combined forces of Darkside and Tsolo in their previous encounter. Soriel tags along mostly in hopes of satiating his hunger for battle and securing his existence as a living character (since villains have difficulty living in story worlds such as the NeS). He gave his talking, and perverted, sword and cape to Losien as she is the main character in more need of them than himself whilst injured. Instead he is continuing his old ambition to learn of the NeS and secretly harbours desires to attain the role of NeS's paramount scholar.

The Otter - A half-posh, half-punk, all-drunk, womanizing British NeS veteran, the Otter seems to be around only because he is too drunk to take himself anywhere else for the time being. He is currently attempting to collect himself after the recent memories, as well as his keener perception of their situation remaining unheard, launching him into depression.

Maeve (Maevie) - An old college friend of some of the NeS veterans, she can relate to the Otter with both her British heritage and her drinking. However, she normally selects not to relate to the Otter when she can help it. She seems to stick around so that she doesn't become a Forgotten character once again. Maeve also harbors an as-of-yet unresolved love/hate relationship with Losien.

Apple - An assassin-for-hire capable of becoming invisible to varying degrees depending on her load. She is generally selfish and eager for challenges. Lovely African-American woman with several locks of her hair dyed red. Pregnant, and rapidly gestating. It is uncertain who the father is. (See Sub Plot (2), below.)

Michael MacFarlane - A Twice-Forgotten character and current mastermind of the villains, Michael is a former NeS hero turned shade of his former self. Currently, he hides in the shadows. Once working for Darkside and Tsolo, he overthrew him and made them work for him instead. He conspired to kidnap and Twice-Forget TLTE, but the weight of TLTE's destiny rescued him from oblivion. He also randomly removes various memories from the NeS Pages that are revealed only to the Writers and the Readers, not to our heroes. He has also, for reasons yet unknown, purposefully removed Arkng Thand from the earliest pages of the NeS as revealed through regular Forgotten Memories. People forget Michael as soon as he leaves them. Michael was using the other villains to distract the NeS heroes while he searches for the lost spirit of the NeS so that he may have it consumed and forgotten, but now is fleeing from them, towards the memories of the cataclysmic Page 50.

(Lady) Darkside (Lightside?) - A Legion-like spectre of malevolence, recently taken the form of a woman. Former lawyer, and composite entity of all the greatest villains in NeStian fantastic history (although really, what's the difference between the two?). She recently began drawing out the darker natures of the heroes on Memory Lane. Now working for Michael McLongname. Now, by the laws of tropes, she has become apparently good, known as Lady Lightside, and has married Al Ciao and become pregnant with his umpteenth child (her first). However, she still seems to harbor ill intent and perhaps is hinting that she wants to consume their child.

The Illusionist - No one is quite clear on who he/she is, given their mysterious powers of illusion and shapeshifting. Works for Michael McLongname, though like everyone else, the Illusionist forgets that every time he leaves, only remembering the orders.

Antestarr - An inactive NeS hero, former NeScholar, former apprentice to Master Thand, master of weapons and the invention thereof. He was not along ago on hte verge of dying- due to the severe physical stresses of overusing his Hyper-Time Modulator - until his ex-lover Nyneve turned him into an immortal, newly-young, vampire-like NeSferatu that feeds on the bloodink of characters. He is currently sorting out his life priorities. He has turned to the "side of the angels", as it were, and promptly received a buttkicking from Seraphim, as well as a vampiric weakness to sunlight.

Krig the Viking - Berserker Viking, berserker lawyer, berserker chaser of butterflies...well, you get the idea. Surprisingly competent at times, seemingly by accident, but perhaps there is more to him than has always seemed. Was recently killed by who appears to be the former NeS heroine Voodoo Snowflakes, at which point he was taken to Valhalla. He has recently returned to life and made his way to the Haunted House of Heroes. Former king of Switzerland; his father Krog has taken over in his absence. As always, he wishes only for the simple things in life: shinies, lobbing the heads of enemies with his axe, and the like. He is now chieftain of the Vikings, with Emperor Pi declared his honorary Elder viking.

Subaru - Antestarr's current romantic interest. Friend to the mageling Cool Matty and his wife Mimiru, who are inactive NeS heroes. She has discovered some blue-glowing telekinetic and healing powers, which she can focus into swords. Has just learned that Antestarr is a NeSferatu and is trying to adjust accordingly.

Evil Geb - Shattered Geb, Gebiyl, Evil G...these are all aliases of the same man, though he is partial to the latter. He is Gebohq from an alternate future a thousand years from now, which became its own alternate reality, known as the Shattered NeS. Once the ruler, he was deposed and came to the primary plane of the NeSiverse. Husband to Young and father to her new baby, Chance, Evil G mostly desires to entertain himself and protect his wife and child when the end comes...

Emperor Pi - The secret Chinese Emperor who lives in a floating palace above China. He has a great many concubines who have given him many children, one of which is Rachel Pi. However nobody is certain which concubine is Rachel's mother as they have no many children. He is old, likes things quiet and drinks tea. He is also a martial arts master. He is currently engaged to Queen Iriana Emp of Armenia, who shares his love of tea but demands he give up his concubines.

Iriana Emp - Al Ciao's estranged daughter, and of the deceased Atlantean princess Alole. She just turned 16 and was emancipated, receiving a locket from her father, as well as a briefcase chock full of Canadian soul tokens - which have just cubed in value, thanks to Acidspitter, making her probably the richest Londoner in history. Not technically an NeS hero, simply a bystander in recent events. However, she was declared Queen of Armenia, due to her ancestral heritage, when the Armenian president died and has become engaged to Emperor Pi of China.
Note: The source of ancient Atlantis' prosperity and fame, its banana cream Oreo knockoffs, were Twice-Forgotten by Michael McLongname; and therefore history has been re-remembered such that Atlantis is a little-known village that sank into the ocean 12,000 years ago.

Gebohq - Former main character, elder brother of current Main Character Losien. Characterized by a juxtaposition of laziness and cowardice with compassion and a strong sense of right and wrong.

MZZT - The tech expert for the NeS heroes. Has invented the Thingy(TM) (a painful teleportation portal) and the NeS hero watches.

Seraphim - Once an angel of light, she is now considered fallen. She still wears a clingy, dress of transparent light that barely - barely - conceals her most intimate spots. Capable of superstrength, flight, and various angelicky powers of healing and so forth, her primary trait seems to be her penchant for massive property damage.

Acidspitter - Real name Louis, Surname unrevealed. A 19 year old man in punkish attire - chains, leather, purple mohawk, his name tells you everything you need to know about his power set. Initially attracted to Seraphim because her angelic body wouldn't dissolve if he gave her tongue, he corrupted her even as she tamed him. Then he became an incubus, and their relationship got strained before the big fight. He is currently the moody ruler of Hell, "Mister Nine", but has managed to make Hell the richest country in the world once again.

Other Members of Hero Force One - The Morpheus-lookalike dual-katana-wielding magician, Dr. R. Deep . His apprentice, the teenager Magick Snowflakes . Judge , the British telekinetic woman whose most impressive power is her cleavage. Qhobeg , one of the seemingly endless number of Gebohq clones. The Company Kid , the wererat Benjamin Mahir, old pal of The Otter, who doesn't believe in the story and generally wants to be left alone.

Soriel & Highemperor's Adventures in Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!!!

Soriel: "So, Highemp, we've done quite a lot over these past few adventures. Is there anything left?"

Highemperor: "You could watch me explode a sun?"

Soriel: "Does a sun fight back? I'm not sure that'd be much fun..."

Highemperor: "So what do you suggest?"

Soriel: "Well that Arena was fun. I doubt that Ares bloke will be able to replenish those millions of monsters we killed for quite some time to come. I guess we inadvertently helped any future generations that end up in his games, right? Good deed of the day and all that rubbish."

Highemperor: "Actually I was wondering when that Doctor guy is going to come and try to get his TARDIS back off us?"

Suddenly something fell from the sky and landed with a sickening THUD!!!!!

Highemperor: "I don't think that's him."

Soriel: "Then who was that?"

Highemperor: "I have a feeling I know who..."

He takes several steps towards the crater with trepidation.

Highemperor: "Al Ciao! My future alternate self!!!!!"

Soriel: "Seriously!?"

Highemperor: "Oh no... wait... it's just Captain America. Or someone like that. Looks like he fell out of plane. Not much left of him down there."

Soriel: "Awww, fighting a bloke like that would have been EPIC!"

They turn from the disgusting mess and casually walk back towards the TARDIS.

Soriel: "Wait. How could you know about your future alternate self? And how the heck would we meet him?"

Highemperor: "Providence for your first question and two... we have a time machine!"

Soriel: "Ooooooooh right."

There comes a whistling sound.

Soriel: "I think someone else is about to fall on us."

The dead body of Al Ciao strikes against Highemperor. Due to the laws of time, physics - and probably something else equally important to explain what happened next - the body bounced off of Highemperor.

Highemperor: "Ow..."

Al Ciao's corpse spirals uncontrollably through the air like a bullet and straight into the open doors of the TARDIS. At which point the doors slam shut.

Soriel: "Oi! He's nicking the TARDIS that we nicked!"

Highemperor: "Can a corpse steal anything?"

The TARDIS groans out of existence leaving the two super villains stranded in the present.

Highemperor: "Well this is going to screw up the timeline of the NeS..."

Soriel: "Does that mean there'll be lots of time monsters to deal with? That'd be awesome!"

Then the TARDIS groans back into time-space.

Soriel: "Yay! The adventures continue! But with a dead body of your future self..."

The doors open and out steps The Doctor.

The Doctor: [/B] "Actually, I'm afraid not. You two have been very naughty, haven't you? The TARDIS came back to me with your dead future self so I've decided to rectify this little problem personally. Come on you pair. We've off on your final trip."

Soriel and Highemperor walk into the TARDIS as though they had been scolded by their parents. Highemperor actually looks as though he might start to weep.

Highemperor: "Where are we going?"

The Doctor pulls a few levers on the TARDIS console.

The Doctor: "Home!"

*The Arena. Legion of Spookay. That Big Volcanoey Deathmatch-Type Place. It goes by many names. Within its now-decayed stadium, the fate of the world has been decided many times over. Row upon row of empty seats encircle the dusty battlefield, cracked and lit by the lava below. Rain filters in through the dome's opening, splatterig the dust into mud, as thunder breaks overhead and shakes*

Vinny: "YOU! At last, we meet face to face, after all these years! Though we've known each other all along, haven't we?"

*Erik looks at Vinny as if he'd just seen him for the first time.*

Erik: "I'm sorry, were you saying something?"

Vinny: "...and you're as idiotic as ever. I can hardly wait until you're finally destroyed."

Erik: "I love you too. I'd say "can't we just get along", but I have a feeling you're still holding that time against me when I gave you a swirlie."

Geb: "Um, do you guys know each other?"

Erik: "Yes, Geb, we do. Always there to state the obvious, and that's what makes you so lovable."

Erik: "And we don’t have to follow the script, EeP. We don’t have to see this battle through."

Vinny: "Oh, it won’t be a battle, it’ll be a massacre! ATTACK!"

*The Villians charge forward, weapons drawn, looking very evil and menacing. All the major villians from story-arcs past are there -- Farr, Totallyevil, Burby00, "They", Gettleburger's Keyboarding Teacher and the rest. The Heroes stop and strike Heroic poses, awaiting the incoming onslaught as the Villians close the distance between the two groups. Finally, just before the Villians reach the Heroes and the battle is joined, five mysterious figures leap between the groups in front of the Heroes, moving swiftly and purposefully, unleasing flames and destruction upon the Villian horde. The Villians attempt to fight for a few moments, and then they retreat before these new combatants, fleeing to cower behind Gates and the EeP. The Heroes stand in various stages of bewilderment at this impressive show of force.*

Jim7: “The Plot threatens to replace the Story entirely, calcifying this once-great plotfractal into a dead, stale plotline.”

Cthulhu: [“ We bring chaos where there is order. Confusion where there is clarity. Action where there is stillness. Life without uncertainty is not life at all. We prevent this world from grinding to a momentumless halt. But your plot would end everything. So we must oppose you.”]

Vinny: "Well, I am afraid you have come too late. You see, everything is in place. My presence has infected every part of the NeS. My servants have stepped into position all around the world. All that is left to take care of is these pathetic mortals, and it will be all over. So you see, the cards are not in your favour."

Ares: "Not if you die first!"

*Vinny smiles, chuckling to himself.*

Vinny: "The ant threatens the mountain. How amusing. But I have better things to do. Gates, summon your lacky."

*Vinny waves at Gates, and Gates grins an evil grin. He bows his head, and begins to make a humming noise. Slowly, he lifts his head again, his eyes rolled back into his head, eyelids fluttering, teeth bared, the hum rising in pitch and volume.*

Gates: "Arise, my servant! Do my bidding! Destroy my enemies!"

*A chill fills the Arena as the light fades and it grows darker and darker. A roiling blackness descends like a thick, impentetrable fog from the sky, crackling with energy, screaming with the souls of the lost. Everyone present looks up at the lowering menance as a thousand shrieking voices echo through the stadium, filled with lust and hate and malice.*

Darkside: "We are one. . . . You are ours . . . Forever. We will devour you mind. . . your flesh. You will be ours totally. You will be part of us. We are the Darkside. We are its echoes. We are its past. Its present. Its future. We will devour your flesh, your mind, your force. You are ours now. And now we will feast!"

*From the darkness, five twisting pillars of writhing black descend upon the five Protectors of the Plotfractal. They are lifted up into the dark fog of hatred, and dissapear from the view of those below. Sounds and screams can be heard as an epic battle begins above, unseen. The cloud receeds, funnelling through the open Arena roof and into the thunderstorm above.*

Geb: What the...?

*To his side, Gebohq sees Highemperor and an vast army of what appear to be writers equipped with automatic weapons, combat vehicles, each one hefting a writing tool. They fill the Arena's stands spilling over into the main battle field, more of them entering via fancy flashes of light at every moment. A group of particularly beefy men in full plate armour stands beside Highemperor, one of them with a still-smoking pencil in his outstretched hand. The other men in full plate armour stand in a protective circle around Highemp, pencils in hand, warily looking about for threats.*

Gates: "Blast it! This wasn't suppose to happen!"

Geb: *to Highemperor* "Who...?"

Man in Full-Plate Armour: *in heavy Eastern European accent* "I am Vlad."

Highemperor: "These are the KNeLL; the Knights of the Never-ending Literary Legion, and beside me are the elite and my personal bodyguards, the Death KNeLL. I convinced the Editor and his minions to aid us!"

Geb: "Uh..."

Highemp: "You can thank me later. Now to vanquish the EeP!"

*The KNeLL troops begin advancing on the cluster of Villians gathered in the centre of the Arena, now far outnumbered. From their midst strides a bold, bespectacled figure, having the appearance of a man in his late forties, slightly balding, with a bit of paunch under his white collared shirt. In his hand he holds an instrument of great power -- the red pen. It is the Editor of the Omnicron, roused from his high tower to settle the disruption in this one of his stories permanently.*

Editor: "Ever-ending Plot! You have transgressed the most sacred laws of good storytelling! You have invaded a story where you do not belong, and you threaten to end that which should not be ended! Even worse, you threaten to plot an ending wherein Evil is triumphant! For this, you must be removed!"

*As the Editor marches toward EeP threateningly, the EeP stands and waits for him calmly, the corner of his mouth twisting upward in a self-assured sneer.*

Vinny: "Editor. I would have thought you would stay out of this. After all, your primary concern is that the story is entertaining, and how can the events of the past few pages be anything less than entertaining?"

Editor: "You have broken the rules, underling! You will be silenced!"

Vinny: "I think not. You see, I am already more powerful than even you can comprehend. I am the Ever-ending Plot. I exist to destroy. And you will be destroyed."

Editor: "Rubbish. Your power is that of Plot. You control stories' events, manipulate chance into an ordered series of events. I am the Editor. I am above the plots of the stories I oversee, and their courses and turnings have no effect on me."

*Vinny smiles*

Vinny: "But O great and mighty Editor, have you not humbled yourself and entered one of your precious stories? Do not your actions here have to comply with the rules of this world, to its plot, whatever they might be? You wouldn't want to create a plothole, now would you? After all, eliminating plotholes is your job -- not that you've done a very good job in this particular realm, I might add. But enough talk. Your doom awaits."

Editor: "What are you talking about? So I've entered a story! I can still edit it as I see fit! And what are you going to do? You have no powers that could affect me! You don't even have a weapon! And your men are severely outnumbered! You have nothing!"

*Vinny smiles.*

Vinny: "On the contrary, Mr. Editor, I have everything. And now..."

*A portion of the roof of the Arena shatters, and a crimson beast slams into the ground before the Editor, accompanied by a hail of rain and several flashes of lightning, and some thunder too. The Editor has only a moment to stare at the towering High Imp in horror, before the beast lashes out with his shimmering black sabre, causing the Editor to burst into screaming flames and disintigrate.

Highemp hesitates for only a moment at the sight of the Editor's death, before a sword of crackling light flashes into being in his hands and he launches a powerful overhand swipe at the High Imp. The demon is quick to parry the blow, and for a moment the two stare each other down, blazing swords crossed, fiery eyes unflinching. With a thunderclap they burst into a savage flurry of slashes and swings and whirls, their weapons snapping and crackling (and popping) with each parried strike. Meanwhile Erik, the avatar of the NeS, stares across the Arena floor at Vinny with jaw set, their eyes locked.*

*Geb smacks one demonspawn away from him with his sword, as another bigger one jumps him from behind and tackles him to the ground. The other Heroes are variously engaged in combat with the creatures, and pretty much all of them are getting their butts handed to them. The only exception, surprisingly, is Dor, who is sitting on the ground oblivious to it all, protected by some sort of forcefield. Geb flails at the demon on his back wildly.*

Geb: "Get offa me, you big --"

Erik: "Ahhh! Help!"

Geb: "Erik! Oh no!"

*Three enormous demon creatures, all horns and wings and claws, have grabbed Erik and are lifting him high into the air. The EeP, Vinny, stands in the middle of the Arena, laughing as if it's a very amusing joke.

Geb: "Erik! I'll save you! Hold on, don't--oof!"

*Two large demonspawn tackle Geb, punching and clawing at him, holding him down on the ground. The flying demons begin to pull at Erik's arms, trying to pull him apart.

Just then, there is a flash of white light from somewhere, and a bulbous pinkish figure unleashes blazing streaks of white energy at the demons, incinerating two of them and forcing the other to flee. Erik falls from the air into the waiting arms of JediKirby the White.*

Erik: "Hey there! I was beginning to think you would never get here!"

JK the White: "The avatar of the NeS must be protected at all costs. Come, we must get you to safety!"

Erik: "Um, ok, if that's what you want to do. I don't really make many of my own decisions."

*Maybechild pushes through the fray, to Geb's side. Geb manages to squirm away from his attackers, if only for a moment.*

Geb: "Maybe! Thank God you're here, I -- hey!"

*Pulling a switchblade from somewhere, Maybechild viciously slashes at Geb, leaving a long red cut along his cheekbone. Geb stumbles back, staring at Maybechild in astonishment.*

Geb: "Maybe! What are you doing?"

*Maybechild continues to attack, slashing and stabbing at Geb with the switchblade. Geb stumbles back each time, reluctant to attack her with his sword.

*Vinny gestures and the twisted demons pause for a moment, ceasing to attack the Elder Heroes.*

EeP: "You didn't really think I'd let such useful pawns out of my control, did you?"

Geb: "You.... you--"

*A slash from Maybechild catches Gebohq by surprise, and he falls to the ground, quickly scrambling away. A smaller demonspawn latches onto his shoulders, and he swipes at it with his sword frantically. He falls again, and Maybechild advances...*

*Meanwhile, in another part of the battle, Kyle and MZZT stand across from each other, Kyle typing furiously on a datapad, MZZT hacking away on a laptop, each trying to crack the other's system. Occasionally, sparks fly from one or the other's system, and that one will cringe and begin typing all the more furiously. At long intervals, one glances across the small gap between them.*

Kyle: "You'll never defeat me, you pathetic excuse for a sentient being! I've sliced tougher security in my sleep while dreaming about... never mind what I was dreaming about!"

MZZt: "Hahaha! Your systems are so old they're laughable! They must have been manufactured a long time ago, in someplace far, far away -- Medieval China, for instance!"

Kyle: "How little you know! I've just about had it with this pathetic "Earth", and your silly "Graphical Interfaces"! I've seen better programming in Tatooine vaporators! It's like it was designed by a child!"

MZZT: "Ok, I'm tired of this, die!"

*MZZT whips out DHUDGUN, the doughnut-hole gun, and blasts away at Kyle. But Kyle doesn't even flinch, and the shots pass right through him, hitting Absolver and Otter in the midst of their epic grappling match and causing them to run around howling in pain.*

MZZT: "A hologram! Blast you!"

Kyle's Hologram: "You ignorant savages don't even have holographic technology! It's enough to make one laugh in derision! In fact, I think I will! Aaaahahahahahahaaa!"

MZZT: "Kyle, listen to yourself! It's the Pie talking! Fight the Evilness, Kyle! Fight it!"

Kyle's Hologram: "Oops... look who left his laptop unattended! Buh-bye, Junior! I hope your death is painful!"

MZZT: "Uh-oh..."

*MZZT picks up his laptop and looks at it, his eyes widening as he recognises the code streaming past on it. A few seconds more, and the laptop explodes in an enormous ball of flame, sending demonspawn and KNeLL alike flying in every direction.*

*Across the battlefield, Tracer lashes out and cracks Cooked Haggis across the jaw with a right hook. Both are looking torn up and ragged, Tracer with a black eye and a cut on his cheek, Cooked Haggis with his tuxedo jacket off and his carefully slicked-back hair all in disarray. Cooked Haggis spits blood, wipes his mouth, and feints a left punch. Tracer blocks, and Haggis switches up and crunches into Tracer with a swift right-hand uppercut. Tracer stumbles back to the edge, teetering over the long drop to the lava below. Haggis is about to push him over, when an explosion of pure white flame shakes the whole Arena, rising in a feiry white dome that incinerates demonspawn and KNeLL troops alike, sending flocks of others sailing through the air away. Another chunk of the Arena roof, shaken loose, plummets to the ground, smashing into a cluster of battling KNeLL troops, and killing off the last remaining elite Death KNeLL. The shaking causes Tracer to lose his footing, and fall backwards towards oblivion.*

Haggis: "See you in hell, you uppity commoner!"

*Tracer's fist clamps onto Cooked Haggis's torn lapel, yanking him forward.*

Tracer: "Care to join me, you pretentious prick?"

Gebohq, propelled by a kick delivered by Maybechild, falls and rolls, clutching his sword to him. He breathes heavily, exerted from avoiding Maybchild's blows, but unable to bring himself to return her attacks. He staggers to his feet, wildly stumbling away from a slash of her switchblade.*

Maybe: "Stand still and fight me, you incompetant idiot! You coward!"

Gebohq: "I can't, Maybe, I know you, or I knew you, and I can't. Not to you."

Maybe: "Of course you can't! You're a coward and a fool! What happens if you don't resist me? You die, that's what! Do you want to die?"

Gebohq: "I would rather die than kill one of my friends..."

Maybe: "And let the world be destroyed because of it! That's not morals, Geb, that's cowardice! You can't do it because you're afraid!"

Gebohq: "I don't care what it is, I can't..."

*Maybechild slashes at Geb again, and again. Tears stream down her cheeks as she lashes out, and Geb merely backs away and dodges, never even attempting to counter attack.*

Geb: "Maybe..."

Maybe (crying): "You were never a leader, Geb! You could never see what needed to be done! You relied on those around you to help you! On me! You have to fight me, Geb! Fight me or you'll all die!"

There was a swell of anger within her and she suddenly rushes at him.

*A zap and a flash of light, and Maybechild is knocked away from Geb, to the ground. Geb runs to her, but when he lays a hand on her, he finds her cold, hard. She has become a granite statue, lying on the ground, face frozen in a grimace of pain.*

*In the Arena's stands, an ashen Erik grabs onto JediKirby's robe, hand trembling from the effort. He speaks, and his voice is weak, barely audible over the Arena's resounding battle.*

Erik: "Help me... I don't feel well... I feel... stretched. Frayed... at the edges. I can't... hold it together... much... longer..."

JediKirby: "Don't worry, I'll defend you! I won't fail again!"

Erik: "No... The NeS... frayed... failing... Ever...ending Plot is... tearing. Burning at me like... acid. It hurts!"

JediKirby: "What can I do to--"

*Erik interrupts JediKirby the White with a raw scream of agony, falling to the ground and writhing in pain. JediKirby's eyes widen, and he looks around for the cause of this new attack.

now TFFE stands, hands outstretched, wind tossing his thin hair about, a small black remote trigger device in his fist. At first, nothing happens. And then, it begins.*

*In Australia, under the desert, where Ares once trained an army of clowns, old machinery rumbles to life. Lights flash, sirens blare, and the crackling energy of harnessed White Plotholes begins to fill the engines. Above first Australia, and then the world, their effects begin to be seen. Lights in the sky, random things changing, clouds taking the forms of sharp-toothed birds and serpentine elephants, things from nightmares and bad acid-trips. Trees begin to moan and swat at each other with jagged leaves, fields of grass become fields of knives, then fields of gnarled fingers reaching to the sky, then barren fields of multicoloured mud and sand. In the Arena, the crackling glow of several White Plotholes surrounds TFFE, who cackles madly, caught up in the power. The Arena itself twists and changes under the influence of the White Plotholes, replaying scenes from its past. Crowds of onlookers fills the stands momentarily, cheering on the battle between Ares and RobX. A flock of rubber duckies fills the sky, changing into pigeons and then robotic rabbit-walkers before dissapearing again. Briefly, the Arena takes on the appearance of a great Temple, a cathedral filled with stained-glass and beautiful murals adorning the walls. It returns to its former self, but twisting and shifting constantly, the ground rolling like a ship on the sea, the walls moving away and then back again, all manner of impossible things. TFFE stares about, wide-eyed, yelling at the top of his lungs.*

TFFE: "Do you see that, Last True Evil? You have no defence against it! It's a White Plothole, TLTE! Thousands of them, all over the earth, and I control them all! You thought you could destroy me, you all did! But who has the last laugh now? Who is the Last True Evil now? You tell me, TLTE! A White Plothole is an explosion of all possible events occuring at the same time, you know -- and I control them! It's all me! I control every one of them! And there's nothing you can do! By weeding out those events I don't like, I can effectively control all of reality! What did opposing the Ever-ending Plot get you, TLTE? What did opposing ME get you? You're inferior to me, TLTE! Inferior!"

*As JK the White readies the Doughnut, Vinny crosses his arms and looks down his nose at JK. For a moment, JediKirby stares at the EeP, wonders why he does not act. And then, with a restrained yelp of surprise, JediKirby's eyes widen in pain. He totters forward a step, wavers, and collapses to the ground, blood oozing from a large gash in his back. Ford stands behind him, teeth bared, holding a long jagged piece of bloody iron in his hands. A ghost of a smile crosses Vinny's lips, and he looks up to where Erik the Avatar of NeS lies now unprotected in the stands.*

*Gebohq bows his head, looking sadly over at Erik, who appears to be breathing erratically and growing more pale.*

Gebohq: "I’m sorry. It was my task to protect you. Please forgive me."

*Overcome, he sinks to his knees, leaning heavily on his sword planted in front of him.*

TLTEeP staggers, appearing to lose control for a moment. Then, with an overwhelming roar, the EeP recovers itself and glares at Gebohq.*

TLTEeP: "At last…DIE!"

*He rushes at him in the rain, and as the events of the Never-Ending Story reach their final crescendo, time visibly slows. TLTEeP's sabre swings forth, and shatters Geb's blade into a hundred spinning pieces. Gebohq slowly gazes up at TLTEeP, who lifts his blade over his shoulder, his face contorted in rage. Between them and around them, the rain splashes and spatters. Above them the blackened sky erupts in a wild surge of lightning. The TLTE crowd watch, stock still, a haze of shocked faces. The sabre, gleaming with the light of a thousand suns, comes at Gebohq when-*

Voice: NO.

*There is a fiery and brilliant flash of energy between them. Gebohq and TLTEeP are thrown twenty feet apart, tumbling and rolling on the shattered arena floor. TLTEeP groans, clearly staggered, but Gebohq jumps to his feet in wonderment, casting his eyes up to the heavens. The pieces of Geb's sword hang frozen in mid-air, spinning slowly in their flight. His sword's hilt, still clutched in his fist, starts humming and vibrating at his side, whereupon it suddenly pulls his arm up above him, holding it up to the sky. The black clouds part for all of a moment, and Gebohq is amazed to see a mighty hand, bathed in light, extend down to point at him. Geb is unsure, but thinks he can see ink smudges and various notes jotted down on the hand.*

Voice: JUST THIS ONCE, MY CHILD, SHALL I INTERVENE. THE WRITERGOD GRANTS YOU…

*Gebohq’s sword begins to crackle and spark with energy. The pieces of the shattered blade swirl through the air, returning to the hilt and re-forming in their original pattern. Amazingly, the whole thing bursts into a clear blue flame that somehow doesn’t burn his hand. When the flames die down moments later, what remains in Gebohq’s grip is a sword unlike any other. Shining with radiant brilliance, the sword looks like it could cut through time and space itself. Its hilt is glistening a fine silver-blue, and the blade itself is glowing fiery gold like the sun. Simply put, it is a priceless, incomparable weapon.*

Voice: …THE NESWORD!

*The clouds swiftly close again, leaving the same grim scene...

He turns, just as TLTEeP scrambles to his feet.*

TLTEeP: "Those blades cannot save you! Taste my vengeance!!!"

*He leaps at Gebohq, with a sweeping lunge that should have easily finished his weary foe off. Instead, the NeSword moves almost of its own volition, effortlessly deflecting the blow. TLTEeP snarls and unleashes a cyclone of swift jabs, each on their own an impossible strike to dodge. The NeSwords, seeming to hum with the ebb and flow of the NeS universe itself, blocks every blow.*

TLTEeP: "NO! I AM STRONGER! I AM BETTER!"

*He strikes again and again, his strokes growing increasingly frenzied and desperate. Gebohq watches with a look of stunned astonishment as his blade blunts his foe’s every offensive. Finally, as if automatically, the NeSword bats aside TLTE’s blade and delivers a swift jab to his side. TLTEeP howls, falling back for a second. Gebohq grabs his sword with two hands, struggling to control his own weapon.*

Gebohq: "TLTE, please stop…I don’t want to kill you!"

TLTEeP: "RRRRRAGGGHHH!!!"

*He rushes forward, his sword coming over his head. Before Gebohq can stop it, the NeSword buries itself in TLTE’s leg. The Russian spy drops to his other knee, letting out a pained noise through gritted teeth. Geb swiftly leaps forward, plucking out his sword and facing his enemy tentatively, ready to move. When TLTE looks up though, the rage in his eyes is gone.*

TLTE: "…Gebohq!…."

*Geb lowers his swords, relieved. He begins to go over to help his friend, but TLTE lets out a roar and tries to get to his feet. Geb jumps back, and TLTE looks at him helplessly.*

TLTE: "Please, don’t come any closer...he’s not very far…Darkside has bound him to me somehow, I can’t get rid of him…"

TLTE: "Understand, Geb; the EeP was not expecting to be defeated. He had all of the advantages, you were wounded – the chance that you would best him was so remote that he hadn’t considered it. So he allowed himself to be vulnerable, to tighten his grip on me…he is now stuck with me."

*He pauses. The rain is still pouring down; Gebohq looks down to see that he is now ankle-deep in water.*

Gebohq: "I don’t care, TLTE, it’s still a crazy idea! You want to destroy yourself-"

TLTE: "I – I can’t, Gebohq. He won’t let me. You have to do it."

*He nods at the NeSwords, which seem to hum back in response…or in anticipation.*

TLTE: "Use them. I’ll die an honourable death, and then the EeP will be gone forever. That is their purpose."

*Gebohq looks at TLTE as if he has suggested to him to commit ritual suicide. In a way, he has.*

Gebohq: "Why? Why does it have to happen like this? Why does it have to end?"

TLTE: "Endings are not such a bad thing, Gebohq. When one thing ends, another begins. Things are not without hope. I, however…I’m not so fortunate. This ending must be stamped permanent with a significant event, and the death of the EeP is the last significant event we have. Remember, good must endure until the End. It must. Now... any more questions?"

*Geb darts forward at the last moment, the bullet sailing past his head. He races to TLTE, the NeSword flashes up, past, through…and then, abruptly, it is over. Gebohq stands, head bowed, just a step past TLTE.*

Gebohq: "It's stopped raining."

*His words are true; though the clouds hang still overhead, the incessant downpour of rain has finally ceased.*

TLTE: "I know."

*He falls to his knees. Slowly, he pulls the NeSword out of his chest, places it down reverently and slumps to the floor.*

TLTE: “'Every life…has a story'”.

Gebohq: "The Never-ending Story… ending. My friends, my family… they’re all gone. Zero Hour. And there’s nothing I can do. I can’t save them this time. I can’t be the big hero. I should be happy that I have kept the Ever-ending Plot from getting its way, but I’m not. It doesn’t seem right, and yet, I can’t see it having gone any other way. Is this how it’s really going to end? Why does it have to go like this? For all its faults, the Never-ending Story wasn’t bad. Where others might have seen a senseless world only becoming worse, I knew it wasn’t a lost cause. There is good. There is a lot of good. The rainy days running to get inside, the strange places I visit, the stranger people I’ve met – I thank the chances I had. If only they could see the good in a rainy day like I do. Like I was able to…"

Where is it now? How can I find hope in a place where there is no one to hope for? What hope can be found when there’s no chance? I didn’t want to end the Never-ending Story, but I didn’t have a choice. I’m no savior, no big hero. Oh God, if only I were. Forgive me for not being strong enough, if only I weren’t so weak and scared. Why don’t I know what to do? What am I suppose to do? Am I suppose to die here? Do you want me to fight off a little longer? Fight or flight – they always seem to be my options. Every time… and so many times I ran away. Ran away from Ares, ran away from the Darkside, ran away when my sister needed me the most. The other heroes were so much better than me… why me?

So many questions, but the answers are hidden from me. Have faith… that is the only answer I have been given. Faith. Not exactly an easy task, given the situation. No real reason to believe anything could come out of this. The Never-ending Story has no more magic for its show. No plotholes to jump through, every action fell like dominos. My words are all that is left of this thread. Perhaps if I recounted the Never-ending Story, always talking, I could keep this story from ending. How long though before I can’t go on? No, that’s not the way. Have faith… if only my word was your word, Writer of writers. You will be here when I am gone. Your will never breaks, every word a promise for something new, your promise a rainbow bridge over troubled waters. Have faith… not a reason, but a chance. The Never-ending Story never made much sense to begin with… why not?

To hell with reality! Good WILL live another rainy day! I believe good will never end, so long as these words are spoken. No writer can end all that is good, and I will be living proof, for I have been given a chance to multiply these words for the better. With help from high above, I will make this dream a reality, and raise the power of the Never-ending Story! May a new page be turned in the Never-ending Story!

The Last True Evil, drenched in icy rain and sweat and blood, stops as he sees Losien before him, standing over the prone body of Maeve. Losien's own eyes stare back with merciless judgment upon his character, seeing plainly his evil soul buried deep within as only she loving him could see, his every flaw and weakness for her to read clearly. In the calculated chaos of the thread's climax, even as the Plot draws out out the evil within her, she realizes at that point who the true villain of the story is, and what she must do.

Losien: Evil is a funny thing, wouldn't you say?

She nudges the motionless Maeve with her foot.

Losien: Attack a self-proclaimed hero to become a villain. Attack a villain, though, and become a hero.

TLTE: An old Soviet joke if I ever heard one.

Losien: I'm going to kill you, and then I'll be the hero.

TLTE: But I've turned from my old ways, Losien. I sacrificed my life. I've been given redemption. I did all this because of you. I became a hero because I love you.

She hesitates for a moment before composing herself ever stronger.

Losien: A hero defined by arbitrary moral standards, yes, and we both know that only a role we play in this story. Who we are, who we truly are, is more than that. True good in the NeS isn't about saving lives, it's about saving stories! Stories are saved by giving them purpose -- an end goal. I will save this story, and I will be feared by all for it. DIE!

TLTE: NO!

The Last True Evil and Losien charge at each other, moments away from reaching at each other's throats. Before they can make contact, however, a man slams into The Last True Evil and knocks him to the side.

Man: Don't forget about me!

TLTE: Michael?!

Michael McLongname, as he's affectionately known as, turns to Losien, flashing a warm smile.

Michael: Sorry I'm late! Someone must have failed to send me the invitation to the latest fight of the century of the week. I have no idea what's going on, and as soon as I spotted the two of you, I saw all I needed to know.

Losien stares wide-eyed at Michael, then at The Last True Evil, and back to Michael, the steering wheel of her personal drive shaking wildly out of her own control. Michael's attention, however, is now entirely on The Last True Evil.

Michael: I'm afraid I can't let you hurt my love, old friend. Prepare yourself!

TLTE: But Michael, you don't understand--

The Last True Evil's remaining words are punched right out of his mouth as Michael lands a fist across his jaw. Michael throws another punch, and by this time, The Last True Evil's military training kicks in, deflecting most of Michael's attacks. Jab; swat down. Kick to the shin; step back. Shoulder-slam to the chest; Russian bear-hug to immobilize.

TLTE: A lot has happened since we last met. I'm not the same man you once knew. I'm a hero now, and Losien isn't herself. She's being controlled by--

Michael: You can't trick me with your spy skills this time! Hope you like the taste of DE-FEAT!

Michael steps hard on The Last True Evil's foot, then kicks him in the face as his opponent reels back. As Michael shoves his palm forward, The Last True Evil grabs his arm into a lock.

TLTE: Listen, Michael! Look at her!

Spinning Michael around, they can now both see Losien as they've never seen her before -- utterly torn. Her legs shake, her teeth are gritted as she attempts to hold back tears. The Last True Evil allows his grip to loosen, letting Michael step forward towards Losien.

Michael: Losien, my love, what's wrong?

Losien: I should kill him. He's the true villain, the Plot has made this clear to me. I should hate him for all that he's done, and I should love you for being the man I don't deserve. He respects me for who I really am, though, and I'm confident being myself with him. I'm free from judgment, I don't have to be good or pretty. I can't kill him... because I love him...

She is practically blinded by her tears as she stares past Michael and at The Last True Evil. The Last True Evil, for his part, is horrified at the revelation.

TLTE: You're not bad--

Losien: I am! It's who I am, just like you! I don't want to do what I'm supposed to do anymore! I don't need to be feared - I need your love! Be with me, and we can end the NeS like we're meant to be!

TLTE: No! No, I won't! I won't help end the NeS!

Losien: Then I'll do it for the both of us.

TLTE: No!

Losien: You won't stop me. You can't. You'd have to kill me.

She turns away, surveying the landscape for her next attack. The Last True Evil struggles to bring himself from his spot and stop Losien, his drive to do the right thing blocked by his love for Losien. Just then, the white plot-holes puncture across the air, with all the possible and impossible events that could occur beginning to pour in, including some events which wouldn't be seen for another 40 pages. The First False Evil's voice can be heard, beckoning The Last True Evil to confront him. Helplessly, The Last True Evil turns to Michael.

TLTE: You have to stop her, Michael.

Michael: But...I...

TLTE: Please, for the story. It's bigger than any of us.

Michael turns to look towards Losien, a torrent of emotions pouring over him as the rain beats down upon his head. The Last True Evil, distracted by The First False Evil's challenge, moves to confront his counterpart. The emotions continue to flood Michael until he can no longer remain standing in place, his emotions sweeping him away and towards Losien.

She never saw it coming.

When the torrent subsides, Losien's body sprawled lifeless on the ground with those of heroes and villains alike. Michael stood over her, staring at his own hands.

Michael: What have I done...? It can't happen like this...

Michael stumbles away from the scene, away from the Arena, his exit left as unnoticed as his entrance.

To Britt the Writer,

We've all gone on holiday. We need you to keep things going while we're all having fun in the sun. We didn't want to take you with us because you might have rabies, or something, after being in the jungle for so long. Plus we don't like your hair. Or your face.

Love and kisses,

Gebohq. Your Master.

PS: Don't make any Scott Pilgrim "so alone" jokes.