Krig starts go-go dancing with Swedish Bikini squad.

(hehe, the Bert and pidgeons thing was sheer genius!)


[woohoo, 11 pages!]
------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

[This message has been edited by Krig_the_Viking (edited July 23, 2000).]

(NSP: Who is in the Swedish Bikini Club?? LOL..just wondering :-)

*shoots narrator*

*shoots narrator again*


/Idiot double posts\

[This message has been edited by Lord_Crud (edited July 24, 2000).]

Sem the storywriter: "That was a good one Otter, and it will be good to have Bernard back in the story, but now what do we do for an evil arch enemy?" <all eyes settle on Sem> "..... What!?!?"

Sem(the character): "Hey! What's going on up there! I demand to know!"
A note falls from the sky, and Sem reads it.
Sem: "WHAT THE SHAZBOT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!? You SICK, SICK people!!!"
A note is delivered to Sem by Ares(Ares' divine nature allows him to leave the story and enter the office at will)
Sem: "If it's everyone vs. Sem I better get a badass weapon!"

In a few hours, the entire cast of NES is assembled opposite Sem, who is wielding a gun the size of an aircraft carrier.

Ares waves the start flag, and Sem aims his weapon.
Sem: "Let's see what this baby can do!"

The gun makes impressive power-up noises for about 45 seconds and a giant ball of fire forms in the barrel, before a small flag pops out of the end of the gun, with "bang!" written on it in black letters.
Sem: "Fuq"

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

Krig stands in the crowd of heroes opposing Sem, obviously confused.

Krig:"We got plenty bad guys left! Dr. Evil fella, Darkside fella, Narrator fella..."

Otter:"Hey, we aren't supposed to know about Darkside! See here, in the script, we don't find out about Darkside until three posts from now!"

Maybe:"What are you, stupid? We're not following the script!"

Otter:"Oh. Yeah, now that I look at it, this script is nothing like what's happened so far... hey! This isn't even a script! It's just a bunch of words jumbled together!"

Sem:"Hey, let me see that!"

Otter:"Ok, here, see--wait a minute, we're supposed to be fighting you!"

Sem:"Oh, right, crud."

Just then, the sky darkens, and a looming shadow falls over the Arena.

Random guy walking past Arena:"Look out! It's the infamous Darkside!!! AAAHHHH!!!"

The boiling black clouds shift around, and form into the image of Darkside.
Krig:"That funny trick. Dark clouds in sky look like evil clown."

A bolt of lightning hits Krig. He stumbles away, mumbling about rental car price gouging.

Darkside:"I am Darkside. I am the collective of all the souls of the Darkside. You will all join me, or perish horribly!"

Maybe:"Oh, no!"
Otter:"Aye, Carumba!"
Geb:"Ow, my head"
Losien:"Oh, this is all my fault!"
Ante:"Uh-oh"
Joe the sound guy:"..."
Uncle Tusk:"Ooh, a fight!"
Homer:"D'oh!"
Krig:"Grrrrrr..."
Leftover Rubber Duckie:"Squeak!"
Sem:"Alright!"

Everybody looks at Sem.

Sem:"What? I'm evil now, ok?"

Is this the end of the Neverending Story as we know it? How will our courageous - and not so courageous heroes get out of this one? What kind of pitiful fool thinks he can kill me with merely a gun? Mwa ha ha ha. Tune in next time for more Senseless Nonsense!!!

------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

Losien: "It's all my fault...all my fault. None of this would be happening if I wasn't here...or would it?"

Geb: " It's not your fault. Why do you always think it's your fault?"

Losien: "It is my fault..and I always think it is my fault, because it usually is," says Los realizing she sounded a little repetitive.

Geb: "Remember when we were little..."

//Meanwhile, Darkside is planning to take all the souls..and Geb and Los are remembering the past//

Darkside: "You will join me or perish horribly!"

Director: Cut! Cut! I know we're not following the script all the way, but that was totally off. You need more evil in your voice. Try it again.

Darkside sighs : "You will join me, or perish horribly!"

Director: There, that's more like it. Come on, you all should be screaming for your lives now. (to himself)Geez, I don't know how I got stuck with a bunch of insane people like them. (to the crew) Take 5 minutes and come back ready!




[This message has been edited by Losien (edited July 25, 2000).]

Losien: "It's all my fault...all my fault. None of this would be happening if I was here...or would it?"

Geb: " It's not your fault. Why do you always think it's your fault?"

Losien: "It is my fault..and I always think it is my fauly, because it usually is," says Los realizing she sounded a little repetitive.

Geb: "Remember when we were little..."

//Meanwhile, Darkside is planning to take all the souls..and Geb and Los are remembering the past//

Darkside: "You will join me or perish horribly!"

Director: Cut! Cut! I know we're not following the script all the way, but that was totally off. You need more darkness in your voice. Try it again.

Darkside sighs : "You will join me, or perish horribly!"

Director: There, that's more like it. Come on, you all should be screaming for your lives now. (to himself)Geez, I don't know how I got stuck with a bunch of insane people like them. (to the crew) Take 5 minutes and come back ready!

Five minutes later...

Geb:"Well, in that five minutes, we went to Hong Kong and solved a murder mystery, gang!"

Ante:"Yeah, we were there Geb. We know."

Geb, pointing at camera:"Yeah, but the audience doesn't know!"

Darkside:"Whilst you pitiful do-gooders were gone, I took the souls of all in this Arena, including the camera crew!"

Losien:"Oh, no! Joe!"

Darkside:"He's mine, now! And you're next, Losien!"

Instantly, all the guys jump between Losien and Darkside, fighting for the right to be heroic in front of the female.

Darkside:"HAHAHAHA!! You pitiful fools!"

Maybe:"Hey, I think I heard that line in a movie once!"

Maybe gets struck by a bolt of pure black lightning from the tips of Darkside's... robes.

Darkside:"You dare defy ME?! You shall all PERISH!"

Darkside draws up his arms and begins waving them around spookily. Magicky stuff begins flying around in the air.

Oh horror of horrors! What is in store for our "heroes" next? Will they finally be defeated? Or will they finally do something right? Or will something funny happen? YOU decide... that's right, the first caller who accurately predicts what type of post the next post will be gets a free lolipop! Tune in next time, on blah blah blah - you know what I'm sayin'.

(NSP: Sorry about that double post! :-) Please forgive me!)

Suddenly Darkside stops.

"Where's the cream filling?" he asks.

Stunded, everyone looks at Darkside with an expression of confusion.

"Come on, I said...Where's the cream filling? Is anyone going to tell me or am I going to have to run back to the store an ask for a refund?" says Darkside with a very annoying tone.

"What are you talking about?" asks Losien as she breaks away from the group of men.

"The cream filling! I recited a spell for these here Twinkies, and there is NO cream filling."

//No one quite sure knows how to respond to this. The "lights guy" (a former McDonalds employee) jumps into the conversation//

"Well, umm..(in a cheery voice) Would you like fries with that...Sir?" he asks.

"What the heck are you talking about? Did I say anything about fries? I was talking about Cream.."he starts being interrupted.

"Cream of Wheat?" jumps in the "Quaker Oat Guy" (who came from thin air).

//Losien starts going insane. She can't take it anymore//

"Please, everyone, stop already. I can't take this anymore. It's like being in a room of toddlers. You are all driving me insane." said Losien, in the calmest voice possible.

"Take a chill pill." said Darkside.

//Losien burrys her head in her hands once again trying to think things straight in her mind. Why'd she even come her in the first place...she wondered. What am I supposed to do next?//

(NSP: Well, Krig beat me to teh post before I could suggest Darkside's evil plot of infesting double posts into this thread. Oh well, prolly for the better.)

Darkside: *after laughing maniaclly for too long fo a time* We shall destroy you now.

Geb: We?

Ante: I think he means Sem and himself.

Sem: I sure hope not. Takes too much effort to go detroying things with your bare hands and all.

Darkside: SILENCE! We are the collective souls of the sith, and we will have no more of your petty arguments.

Geb: You really need to get some counseling about those voices in your head.

Otter: So how are we going to defeat this oh-powerful one again?

*Maybe starts to go through the Interactive story Board archives to find a story called "Sith Hell"...*

(NSP: Yes, my funniness has dulled over the posts. I hope I pick up again.)

(NSP: Sorry if I messed up your plans Geb, I didn't mean to :-(

(NSP: You didn't mess up his plans, Losien, I did! Not everything's your fault! )

Maybe gets struck by lightning for trying to look up info on Darkside.

Darkside:"You will all perish!"

Geb:"You know, we've been standing here for an awfully long time, and you really haven't done anything vile or evil yet... y'know, besides striking people with lightning and stealing the camera crew's souls and all..."

Darkside:"WE HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!"

A humungous explosion of energy goes off, and the entire crew of heroes - as well as the soul-less camera crew - go flying out of the Arena.

Outside the Arena, under the huge pile of people:

Krig:"Ugh. You all get off Krig now or Krig smash mightily."

Otter:"Ow! Someone's foot is in my eye!"

Geb:"Ow, someone's eye is in my foot!"

Camera guy:"Lemme up, this angle's horrible!"

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the PPV office...

Head Guy:"What's our ratings?"

Assistant:"We're up ninety percent! Apparently people like watching the cast get the snot beat out of them!"

Head Guy:"Reeeeeeeeally?"

Head Guy grins evilly.

What will befall our seriously stumped stars? Do YOU know? I'll just bet you don't!

------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

//At the PPV office//

Head Guy : (to himself) Hmm..imagine. If the viewers enjoy watching the cast members get the snot beaten out of them, what else would they enjoy? (To the assistant) "Are our ratings higher than Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?"

Assistant: "Finally they are! I can't believe it either. But that 'Survivor' show, we beat that months ago, believe it or not."

Head Guy: "Wow. That's great. Now we have to keep our ratings up there. I think we should have a meeting with all the cast members on what we should plan next. I'll go tell them."

//Head Guy walks out of the office and sees the cast members in a huge pile with Krig fighting his way out//

Head Guy: "What happened?"

Geb: "We're playing Twister. What's it look like?" asks Gebohq, sarcastically.

Head Guy: "Geez, I think we're going to have to have a meeting. Our ratings are in first right now. They've gone up 90% in the last, well...10 minutes. Let's meet tomorrow to discuss our progress. Does anyone object?"

Krig: "Do we get food?"

Otter: "Yeah. If we show up to this meeting, is there going to be food?"

Head Guy: "Of course. We'll have some Pizza, Cheese and Crackers..everything. By the way, where's Losien?"

//Meanwhile, on the other side of the Arena, Losien and Joe were sitting together. Losien was speechless as she sat there looking into his eyes.//

Joe: "Well...now what?"

(NSP: Woohoo! I fixed my computer. I'm so...proud of myself! LOL...even "computer-dumb" people like myself, can sometimes figure out what's wrong w/ their comp!)



[This message has been edited by Losien (edited July 26, 2000).]

Krig and the others sit in the office of the Head Guy.

Head guy:"Now, guys, babes, muchachos, first of all I want to tell you you were great out there! Fantastic!"

Krig:"Krig want food now."

Geb:"Ya know, we really should get back to saving the world..."

Head guy:"Stop worryin! Everything's gonna be fine! Now, what I want you guys to do is beat the snot out of each other more often, ok? Maybe we could get a rivalry going between Geb and Maybe as to who's the leader, or we could use this "Everybody-loves-Losien" thing for a big brawl scene, whaddaya say?"

Ante:"So... what your saying is; you want us to act in addition to saving the world?"

Head guy:"Exactly! Now, this whole 'saving the world' thing ain't goin' over well with the public. You're gonna hafta tone it down a bit."

Maybe:"You want us to stop saving the world?"

Krig:"Where food?"

Head guy:"Well, don't stop, we just gotta tone it down a bit. Like, say, let the bad guy win a bit more. The audience'll love that!"

Krig:"YOU GIVE KRIG FOOD NOW!!"

Head guy:"Oh, that was just a gimmik to get ya in here. Now, let's discuss contracts..."

Krig's left eye twitches. With an earth shaking roar, he leaps at the Head Guy and grabs his jacket.

Krig:"You give Krig food NOW!!"

Head guy:"Hey, woa, woa, alright there, guy!"

He snaps his fingers.

Head guy:"Jaques! Get this man some food!"

Jaques:"Yes sir. This way, Master Krig."

Just then, there is an enormous rumble.

Head guy:"Earthquake! Everybody get outta my way!"

He runs towards the doorway.

Geb:"This is no earthquake. This is..."

Just then, the floor just beneath the Head guy's desk explodes, and Darkside bursts up, ala 'End of Days'.

Darkside:"You will join us!"

Ayayay! What will happen? Why do I repeat virtually the same thing every time? Tune in next time for more insane fun!

------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

Sem: Eep! I must find more Coke...

Maybe: How can you think about eating at a time like this?

Otter: Well, he's technically not thinking about eating--

Maybe: Hush you!

Geb: --we guys think with our stomachs, Maybechild.

Maybe: Yeah, and with your balls too. *in an even more sarcastic tone* And you must be thinking awefully hard cuz you all scratch them so much.

Ante: Gives a whole new spin to teh phrase "giving head", huh?

Krig: Maybe-lady sure not winning any brownie points...

*Darkside, after having stared at the speaking members, moves his arms as if to stop an orchestra, his dark robes waving dramatically.*

Darkside: SILENCE!!!

Morris: *having been lured by teh prospect of food* Poor you. *Showing him a box of donuts he was holding* Care for one?

Darkside: Actually, I really need a good asprin--er, I mean, WE WILL HAVE NO MORE OF THIS!

*And with a wave of his hands, a mystical swirl opens, sucking himself and the entire cast. Before being sucked in, however, Geb's arm stretches out for a box of donuts, suceeds, and is reeled into the closing mystical swirl. Ares finds himself staring now at hte floating Darkside, the others preparing to defend themselves. Geb meanwhile holds teh box to Ares.*

Geb: You know you want one...

Ares: Why do I all of a sudden have the strangest sense of deja-vu? Screw this--time to use my hostin' powers--*guy off set taps him on teh shoulder and wispers something* What? Damn PPV coorperates, I knew I shoulda never signed that contract giving them full power over it.

*munching on donuts* Yeah yeah, I'm getting to it... *ahem* Tune in next time folks, for another exciting post of the Neverending Story thread! Course, you all know I'm the real star of this thread here...

(*ahem* A preview, if the Neverending Story Thread ever became a movie)

*A black screen is seen, and the voices of two guys, more than likely "writers" of this story, are heard.*

Guy #1: What? They want a preview? Oh for cryin' out loud. OK-ok, might as well...let's get a good start here...

In a world...

Guy #2: Oh-oh, good start. All good previews start out like that. Let's go on...

...where creators fight for freedom...

Guy #1: Creators?
Guy #2: The bad writers. Remember? Ares challanged them all to fight him to the death?
Guy #2; Oh yeah, that's right. Hmm, we should prolly show the viewers something right here.

*A sexy and scantily-clad woman appears on the black backdrop.*

...(in Duke Nukem style)and to save the babes, baby....

Guy #1: OK, we covered the scantily-clad women, the copyright infringing...anything else?
Guy #2: Yes...

*A second lady, much like the first, appears on the black screen. She is holding a box of donuts. She takes one out and eats it with as much sexual intention as possible*

Guy #1: Yeup, two are always better than one. Especially those two.
Guy #2: Course, we can ignore the fact that we lost at least one half of the viewers here.
Guy #1: Well, maybe we can throw in a chic-flick part once in a well. Or just hire Mel Gibson.
Guy #2: And Tom Cruise. They can't resist them.
Guy #1: Um...Shouldn't we give the viewers a better idea of what this movie is about?
Guy #2: No no, suspense is much better. It'll itch at their minds as to what it's actually about.
Guy #1: How about at least a title?
Guy #2: They ask for so much...

*The woman not holding the box of donuts pulls out a remote from nowhere, pints it at the audience, and clicks it, zapping thr picture into a PPV-like screen that says "The Neverending Story-The Movie 2000, featuring Polk-a-mon" along with date and other such stuff.*

Guy#1: Polk-a-mon?
Guy #2: Yeah, like Pokemon, but not quite. So we can beat the crap outta them. Gets us our lisence to produce this movie anyways.
Guy#1: Oh good...

(Whadda ya think?)

[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited July 27, 2000).]

(NSP: I really like it Geb! LOL..it's great...you always make me laugh with your posts about if the story became a movie..you're great at that :-)

//Meanwhile, Joe meets up with Losien//

Joe: "Losien, why are you always so down on yourself? Everyone, including myself, really likes you. You're a great person, not to mention, you're beautiful."

Losien: "Well, it's a really long story."

Joe: "Well, I have a lot of time."

Losien: "Well, generally speaking.."It's a story, of an ugly lady, who was living in a very small town. She has problems, yes she has problems, and she's not fun to be around...(goes on and on) Until, one day when this lady met this fellow, and he felt as if he was destined to be with her...but sooner or later, would he find out...she only wanted him for his cheese and crackers. His cheese and crakers, his cheese and crackers. She only wanted him...for his cheese and crackers"
(to the tune of the Brady Bunch song)

Joe: Staring blankly "You mean, you're only using me for cheese and crackers?"

Losien: "Well, no. I mean, I don't know."

Joe: "What do you mean?"

Losien: "Well, I don't know that either."

Joe: "I thought you liked me."

Losien: "Well, I don't not (double negatives) like you, it's just..I like cheese and crackers. That's all I'm saying."

Joe: (very emotional by now) "I see how it is. A guy comes to try and be your friends, and you only want his cheese and crackers. What kind of person are you?"

Losien: "I'm not sure. I've been trying to ask myself that for a long time."

Joe: "Well, maybe you should see some kind of specialist."

Losien: "What kind of specialist? Do you think I have a mental problem?"

Joe: "No. I was talking about the craving for cheese and crackers."

Losien: "Oh. I'll think about it."

Joe: "Yeah, and if you ever get things straightened out, give me a call."

Losien: "Sure."

//Joe walks away...leaving Losien by herself//

Losien: (to herself) "Well, was it wrong to tell him the story? I think I made a mistake. The first guy to really like me for who I am, and I was using him. Is there any way I can make up for what I've done? He'll probably tell everyone, and I'll never have another friend for as long as I live. Speaking of living, I'm surprised I'm still here. I haven't gotten any more threat letters from Maybe. That's a relief. Hmm.."

//Losien wanders off to go find the rest of the cast//

(NSP: I know that was a really dumb post..I'm sorry..lol..I'm in a dumb mood..not by choice)

Darkside: Mwahahaha, pathetic fools. We can easily take you on with THIS!

*Darkside has Losien poof out of nowhere, right next to his grasp.*

Geb: NOO! You fiend! Let her go!

Darkside: Alright.

*Darkside pushes Losien int eh direction of Geb.*

Geb: Well that was easy...hey sis. Haven't seen ya in a while.
Los: Yeup
Geb: Come to think of it, I'm not ever sure I've seen ya.
Los: Eh, go figure.
Geb: I've always wanted a younger sister...
Los: You have?
Geb: Yes, so I could give 'em a NOOGIE!

*Gebohq gives Losien a noogie, while she stands there befuddled as to what to do. Gebohq stops in confusion to her lack of resistance.*

Geb: Why aren't you trying to get away?
Los: I dunno, I didn't think abuot it.
Geb: That's pretty dumb...hey, no person can be that dumb...*looks at Darkside acusingly*

Darkside: Yes, it is we who has stupidfied her! And we didn't even have to make her blonde.

Geb: That IS evil.

What will happen to our stupified friend, Losien? Does this twist in events even really affect anything later on? I'm starting to think I was stupidfied now because I ask so many questions...

Losien: "Wow, Geb. It's good to see you."

Geb: "Yeah, same here."

Losien: "So, I bet you've always wanted a sister, but not one like me, right?"

Geb: "What do you mean?"

Losien: "You said you've always wanted a sister, but I'm sure you weren't expecting one like me."

Geb: "What are you talking about? You're a great sister."

Losien: "Yeah, if only that was true."

Geb: "It is true. Why can't you believe anyone?"

Losien: "Well, it's just, there's been so much going on. People have told me so many different things, I don't know what to believe anymore."

//Geb suddenly decides to try the "noogie" on Losien again, to see if there is a different reaction//

Losien: (jumps) "Geb! (laughs uncontrolably) Stttttooooppp(she yells as trying to get away)"

Geb: "That's more like it! It's good to see you smile."

Darkside: "Well, don't expect to see it anytime again. I've almost completely taken her soul..there's not much you can do now."

Geb: "Well, I'm going to do all I can (stands up trying to look as "buff" as he can)"

Darkside: "Try as you wish, but I guarentee you, trying won't get you anywhere..Mwahahaha."

Krig jumps up and knocks Geb out of the way.

Krig:"Krig hero of story! Krig confrot stinky man! Not Geb!"

Geb:"Stinky man? I think your getting him confused with someone else..."

Krig:"Geb be quiet! Krig hero! Krig smash!"

Krig turns to Darkside.

Krig:"Krig smash Darky man into little eetsie beetsie pieces!"

Krig lunges, roaring, at Darkside. Insanely, he hacks away at the nebulous form, doing absolutely squat in terms of damage.

Darkside:"You pitiful, insolent infedel! You have angered us for the last time!!"

Krig:"How many HP does Darky man have??"

Darkside, in deep, menacing voice:"More than all of you combined."

With a wave of his hands, Krig dissapears. So does the box of donuts that Geb had brought along.

Otter:"Oh, no, not the donuts!"

* * *

Meanwhile, in the Canadian Parliment, the demon that had been banished there sits on his throne, ruler of all Canada (as well as parts of the US). There is a flash of blinding light, and the room goes black. When the lights come back on, Krig is sitting where the demon had been, in the throne.

Krig:"Krig SMASH Dark -- huh?"

All the politicians hesitate for a moment, and then begin to grovel at Krig's feet.

Krig:"Krig confused..."

What will happen to our daring and dashing heroes? Will the little Viking get crowned emporer of Canada? What happened to that demon? Who in their right mind would grovel at the Viking's feet? Find out the answers and more than you wanted to know in the next installment of... whatever this is called.

------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

Losien: "Where'd Krig go?"

Geb: "Why, I don't know."

Darkside: "Mwhahah..you'll never see him again."

Losien: "What are you talking about? I'm sure we'll see him."

Darkside: "Don't be so sure. He's in Canada."

Geb: "Canada?"

Losien: "Why is he in Canada?"

Darkside: "Because."

Geb: "Because why?"

Darkside: " None of your business."

Geb: "Is too!"

Losien: "Stop! You both sound like a couple of little children. What's going on?"

Geb: "He started it!"

Darkside: "No, he did."

Losien: "Please, stop."

//Everyone sighs//

Geb: "Come on Losien, let's get out of here."

Darkside: "Fine, leave...but I still will win Losien's soul."

Geb: "No you won't, not if I have anything to d..."

Losien: (cuts Geb off) "It doesn't matter Geb. Don't worry. I don't even have a soul."

Darkside: "What? You don't have a soul? What are you?"

Geb: "Losien, you know that's not true. You have a beautif.."

Losien: (covers her ears and screams) "No I don't, no I don't."

//Losien stands there remembering the times when she was younger. When she was happy. The time she met the Sugar Plum Fairy in Candyland. The only time she was truly happy in life//

Geb: "Come on Losien. Let's go somewhere to catch up on things."

Losien: (sobbing) " OK...(*sniff*), OK"

//Geb comforts his sister, and they begin to walk to Geb's house//

Geb: "This is my house. What do you think?"

Losien: "Wow, this is your house? It's a great place Geb. I'm proud you've been so successful in life. I guess there's always one "bad seed" in the family. One person that doesn't succeed well in life. I'm glad it wasn't you. You deserve all this. You've worked hard."

Geb: "Now wait a minute. What are you talking about? You're not a "bad seed"

Losien: "Well, I'm not a "good seed" either. What am I?"

Geb: "You're my sister. The best sister I could have. Why can't you see that?"

Losien: "So, anyways..how long have you lived here?"

Geb: "Don't change the subject. I asked you a question. Why can't you see that?"

Losien: "See what? What are you talking about?"

Geb: "You know what I'm talking about. Don't play stupid."

Losien: "That's the thing Geb. I don't play stupid, it's just how I am."

Geb: (frustrated) "Losien..(*sighs*) someday I'll make you see the truth, someday..I promise."

Losien: "Geb, I already know the truth..I already know."

Geb: "No you don't...you don't."

Losien: (*sighs*) "Do you have any water?"

Geb: "Yeah, I'll go get you a glass. I'll be right back."

Losien: (to herself) Why can't I make him see. He's my brother, he should understand how I feel. Mom and Dad never said anything to him to make him feel like this. He doesn't know what it's like to be ugly and dumb. He doesn't know what it's like to not feel loved by his parents, because mom and dad loved him..not me.

Geb: "Here you go..oops! (spills water all over Losien)..Sorry."

Losien: "You idiot..(laughs) you did that on purpose!"

Geb: "Maybe I did. Now you're smiling. I like that."

Losien: "Oh yeah. What happened to Krig?"

Geb: "I don't know, let's go see if we can find anything out."

//Walk out of his house and start to go back to the Arena to see if there are any clues as to where Krig may have went//

(NSP: Well, I'm almost leaving for vacation...2 more days, so I won't be able to post :-( I'm sorry..but I will when I come back!)

--Canadian Parliement--

*All members are groveling to the confused Krig*

Man from Ontario:"Why do you grovel to this strange and mysterious carnie?! We should punish him for killing our beloved leader Sir Devil!"

Man from Nova Scotia:"?"

Man from Ontario:"Sir Devil built Community colleges & hospitals, improved the road sysytem, cut taxes, and reformed health care, and lest us not forget that he built up our military!"

Whole Parliement:"yeh...YEAH!"

Krig(still confused):"Uhhh...you gonna do what now?"

*the Canadian Parliement, a hockey player, a Mountie, and a moose throw Krig over the Canadian border into the States*

ALL:"AND STAY OUT!"

Krig:"Uggh, Krig's head hurt from senseless beating and confusion...NOW where am I?"

*then all of a sudden 5 big & tall tough looking Black guys loom over Krig and smile menancingly w/ their mostly golden teeth*

GANG:"Welcome to Detroit, SUCKAH!"

*just about when the gang were to descend on Krig w/ their lead pipes and swithcblades--

Shadow from back of the alley:"You boys better get up and go, or I'll make you..."(kracks knuckles)

GANG:"It's T!"(drop their weapons and run away)

Krig:"Mr.T!"

Mr. T:"I pity the fool who beat up on Viking Boy!"




------------------
---------------
"sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun/ if the sun don't come you get a tan from standing in the english rain..."
-The Beatles, Iam the
Walrus

*Antestarr the writer looks up from his storyboard.*

Ante (to self): Soon... very soon, I shall unleash the greatest evil to ever wreak havoc on the Never Ending Story.... Even more evil than Darkside. Truly my greatest idea ever... although it will take time and effort to do... stupid effort.

(NSP: I don't really know what to write right now, I'm leaving tomorrow, early morning for vacation. I don't know if I'll be able to get on later today or not, I'm really busy. I have to work, and then I have to pack all my stuff...(what fun!) and..yeah. I don't know. I'm going to be gone for a week..:-( *sniff sniff* Don't miss me too much, if at all :-) I'll be back (I'm sorry) Well...let's see..)

Losien: "Geez, we're never going to find Krig. What should we do?"

Geb: "I don't know, why don't we just wait here and see if he shows up?"

Losien: "Wait here? What if he doesn't show up?"

Geb: "Well, I don't know. Wanna play Candyland?"

Losien: "Candyland? Why Candyland?"

Geb: "I remember, it was your favorite game."

Losien: "How did you know that?"

Geb: "I just know. So, what do you say? Are you up to it?"

Losien: "Sure, why not. There's nothing better to do."

Geb: (pulls out the game from a closet) "What color do you want to be? I'm blue."

Losien: "Well, I'll be yellow."

Geb: "OK you go first."

Losien: (sighs and picks a card) "Double Red. Woohoo! (laughs)"

Geb: (picks a card) "Blue. Yeah."

Losien: (laughs..picks a card) "It's OK Geb, you'll catch up. We're just starting."

(all I have time for..hope you all have fun while I'm gone! LOL..later! **kiM**)

Krig:"Mistah Teee...."

Mr. T:"Tha's right, an' I'm here to kick some hoo'lum butt!"

Krig:"Krig lost. Krig want find Arena again."

Mr. T:"Well, c'mon! We gon' find this here "Arena", or mah name ain't Mistuh T!"

Krig:"Tee know where Arena is?"

Mr. T:"Well not ezactly, but we gonna find out, right Vikin' boy?"

Krig:"Krig eat small birdies."

Mr. T:"Uh, yeah, okay. Now les go fin' this "Arena" of yours."

Krig and Mr. T start walking down the street, hitching thumbs out.

------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

Krig and Mr. T continue slowly wandering down the road. Krig holds up a cardboard sign that says "Arena" on it.

Krig:"Krig fear bad things happen to writers. Nothing happen for long time."

Mr. T:"If one o' them cars don' stop soon, Ah'm gonna start gettin' angry!!"

Krig:"Krig not get angry. Krig go insane."

Just then, a very familiar looking Viper pulls up beside Krig and Mr. T.

Guy in car:"Need a lift?"

Krig:"This car look familiar... Krig remember driving car."

Mr. T:"Hey, foo', this car's been hot-wired!"

Guy in car:"Uh... no it hasn't. I was just... working on the ignition!"

Krig:"Krig not think you is Ares..."

Guy in car:"Uh... of course I'm Ares... why else would I be driving this car?"

Krig:"Makes sense to Krig!"

Krig and Mr. T hop into the Viper. The car peels out, leaving big long black streaks on the road.

What will happen now? Will Ares find out that some car theif has stolen his car? Will he blame Krig? Will Krig and Mr. T ever get back to the Arena? Find out when--and if-- the Neverending Story Returns!!"

------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

*Back at Geb's pad o' fun, Gebohq and Losien continue with the world's longest game of "Candyland". Gebohq picks up another card.*

Geb: Man, what the hell does THIS card mean? I'm starting to think something's fishy with this game...

*The audience notices the cards are not board game cards but in fact poker cards. Neither Los nor Geb seem to notice though, and try to continue to play the game.*

Los: *sigh* I know you haven't won only to try to make me feel better, but you can really stop now and win already.

Geb: Trust me, I would have 3 days ago if I knew how.

Los: And we should be looking for Krig anyways

Geb: *his laziness overpowering him* Um, no. Let's finihs this game first...
----------------
*Meanwhile, the writers look at Ante suspicisiousousisuoiusuoiss-ly for this "evil plot" he was scheming.*

(hint hint, give us a hint)

Ante the writer: "It has to do with a raccoonking, deeznuts right here, eriamjh, and 1 Jediwannabe."
Geb the writer: "Hmmm...... Don't start without me, I'll be right back."
Sem the writer calls after Geb: "Goin' ta get your yodajammies Geb?" and breaks down laughing, until a cold look from Maybe the writer silences him.
Maybe the writer: "What's so funny?"
Los the writer: "I don't get it<sniff>"

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

*Antestarr feverishly looks around to make sure nobody is looking at his work in progress (which in the "real world" has yet to be begun, but that's another story.) //Hmm... if my house hadn't been invaded by children, maybe I'd have done this by now... probably not.// He mused. Typing at his keyboard, a person nearby forest nymph that somehow found her way into the writer's room spied a single word on Ante's glowing computer screen... "Bonjour"...*

*Zing*

(Yes, I'm leaving it up to someone ELSE to decide what hte hell the zing is hehe)

Losien: "(Yawns) When is this ever going to be over?"

Gebohq: "Once you win."

Losien: "I for sure thought I was doing really good. Now it seems as if I'll never make it to the end."

Gebohq: "I know what you mean."

Losien: "I've been on this yellow square forever!"

Gebohq: " Yeah, and I've been stuck in the Lollipop Land."

Losien: "Come on Geb, just win already. You'll put us both out of this misery."

Gebohq: "I can't. I don't know how!"

Losien: "Well, figure out a way."

Gebohq: "Do you have the instructions?"

Losien: "I never even thought about that. Let's see...(looks through box) Here they are!"

Gebohq: "Great. Ok..look under "How to Win the Game"

Losien: "OK, OK..I'm looking. Blah, blah, blah. Person must reach the queen at the end of the game board to be declared the winner."

Gebohq: "The queen? How are we supposed to get to the queen?"

Losien: "Hold on. I'm getting there. To get to the queen one must advance by each card they pick or quickly jump to the end by picking a queen card."

Gebohq: "Hmmm. Interesting, wouldn't you say?"

Losien: "Yes..very. So, let's continue."

Gebohq: " Ok."

Losien: "Who's turn is it?"

Gebohq: "It's your turn."

Losien: "No, I thought it was for sure your turn."

Gebohq: "Well, I know it's your turn. So go."

Losien: "It's not my turn though. I know it's yours."

(Their argument goes back and forth for hours. Neither one knowing that the next card would bring them to "victory" and would finally end this game that they never thought could end)

10 hours later

Gebohq: "(yawn) It's your turn. (yawn) Just go.."

Losien: "(yawn) I won't go. It's your (yawn), it's your turn."

(NSP: I'm wondering if I'm the only one keeping this thread alive. Nah, Krig is doing his share too. But come on people! We need to do more recruting! Boot camp anyone?)

(NSP: I'm having writer's block..I really am. I have no idea what to write right now, besides a NSP. When I think of something..don't worry..I'll write! Oh yes...I'm up for the Boot Camp..anyone else??!)

Geb the writer: "Hey did anyone see where Sem went?"
Krig the writer: "uhhwa?"
GTW: "Sem, you know, writes that 1/2 evil skeleton that's always trying to spiff up his image?"
KTW: "ji?"
GTW: "Nevermind, Maybe, take care of Krig, get him some caffie or something, I'll go look for Sem."
MTW: "What was that?"
GTW: "What? I said get him some coffine."
MTW: "What's that in your hand?"
GTW: "Nothing! I swear!"
Maybe snatches an empty bottle of No-Doz from his hand and Geb starts bouncing around the room.
MTW: "Your not going anywhere like THAT! Ante you go look for Sem"
ATW: "Gotcha"
Ante leaves the office and heads down the street.
ATW, in mystery narrator-syle voice overlay: "It was a dark, lonely night in a city that knew how to keep it's secrets. Although only on the case for a matter of minutes I could tell that it was going to be a very difficult one. These cases where someone with access to mass communication in the middle of a city, who probably wants to be found and has a very distinctive, loud voice are always difficult. I figured I would check out the subject's usual haunts.....
Narrator:"WTF is a HAUNT!?!?!?"
ATW:"It is a place where..."
Narrator:"It's not even a word!"
ATW:"Is so!"
Narrator:"Look I have much more experience being a narrator than you, and I say it's NOT A WORD!!"
<The narrator has been sacked for unruly conduct in posting. Thank you.>
ATW:"As I was saying..."
continuing in detective-narrator style:"It was a dark, lonely night in a city that knew how to keep it's secrets. Although only on the case for a matter of minutes I could tell that it was going to be a very difficult one. These cases where someone with access to mass communication in the middle of a city, who probably wants to be found and has a very distinctive, loud voice are always difficult. I figured I would check out the subject's usual haunts, so I went to the nearest hospital, where I had heard the subject had been admitted once before. I knew it wasn't much, but it was the only place to start from as my subject had never been outside the office save that one, critical instance."
<camera pans out and ATW is seen walking calmly into the hospital front door.>
As Ante walks in a huge stunt unfolds listed in the NES budget as costing over $450,000, but probably closer to $50,000. Sem the writer comes bursting out of the door, breaking through enough layers of glass to build a to-scale model of the Baltimore Aquarium, pushing in front of him a defibulator on a cart. Knocking Ante to the ground he runs off, persued by the entire hospital staff, 2 special ops units, 5 tanks, and 3 combat choppers.
About 1/2 an hour later ATW and STW meet outside the NES office, Sem now dragging the cart behind him, and holding a flightstick apparently from one of the combat choppers. Ante nods inquiringly and Sem says: "Trophy"
Ante: "I thought the storywriter's total power was only over thier carachters."
Sem holds up annother "trophy", a weapon from the special ops crew, and Ante ceases to look inquisitive.
GTW is the next to question: "So what exactly are you going to DO with that defibulator, if they can ever get it in here?"
Geb nods to the exhausted looking 1/2 of a special ops team trying to force the hulking machine(Sem had taken the hospital's oldest, most bulky model) through the door.
STW: "Sem ressucitate story! Krig idea!"

------------------
Speeling is a state of mind I prefer not to occupy.

Krig, Mr. T, and the car theif pull up outside the Arena.

Krig:"...two bottle beer on wall, two bottle beer..."

Mr. T:"SHUT UP FOO'! AH'VE HAD ENOUGH O' YOU!"

Car Theif:"Get out of my car! Both of you! NOW!"

Krig and Mr. T stumble out of Are's Viper. The viper peels out and drives away.

Krig:"Krig get drunk from song. Krig go sleep now."

Krig falls over and begins sleeping on the middle of the street. Just then, Ares comes running up in military gear, loaded down with a couple tons worth of assault weaponry.

Ares:"Did you see a guy with my car?"

Mr. T:"He went tha' way, foo'!"

Ares:"Thanks!"

Ares runs off in the direction of his Viper, snapping clips into his various weapons.

Just then, Homer and Uncle Tusk go by, quite drunk.

Will this story survive the incredible shortage of writers? Only I know! Tune in next time, if there is a next time!

------------------
Great people talk about Ideas
Average people talk about Things
Small people talk about other people
Member of the Rebellion agains AC

(NSP: I was wondering, for those of you that have ever had "writer's block" what's the average time-span before that passes by? Hmm...I don't know why, but I can't think of anything to write, but I'm still here. :-) I appreciate those of you who are keeping the story alive...if only I could do the same. :-( Well...till I think of something...I'm sorry :-))

------------------
**Kim**
"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."

*Antestarr, still too lazy to work on his "special project" decides rather to look at his watch in case it's time for a lunch break. Noting the date, he leaps to his feet and runs around the office screaming and making a fool of himself. Meanwhilst, the character in the arena inexplicably does the same...*

Both Ante's: HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY ME ME ME ME!

Maybe: Ummm... am I the only person he's starting to creep out?

Gebohq: No, me too at first...

*The Narrator looks around.*

Narrator: YOU GUYS CALL THIS $#*! A FILLER?! That's it, I quit!

*Well, here's a dilemma. No narrator anymore. Looks like it's time to hold auditions for a new one. TheOtter nails a big paper sign to the side of the writer's office saying "Narrator Tryouts Today: Paper Applicants Need Only Apply"*

(NSP: Writer's block can be as short as a day or as long as...um...until you die. Which gives me an idea...)

*In the Massassi Temple's writer's office, while Antestarr was still going beserk, Geb the Writer noticed the lack of Losien. Geb then went out on a search for the lost Losien, and after some time, found her in her cubicle, trapped within a cube that appeared to be made out of glass.*

Geb: Oh no! Los has gotten in writer's block! Man, I need to get some help.

*As Geb the writer goes off to find help from who knows where, narrator auditions are beign held in the arena. Some recognizable ones included Fabio, Mr. T, Pamela Anderson, and Jimmy Stewart (who stood there dead).*

Sem: *at judges' booth* sniff, how I miss the narrator. We could have given him something...a box of donuts maybe. Why did he have to leave?

Maybe: There there...

*Geb the writer thinks, "What will happen now? Perhaps a fight to the death between the bad writers? Oh wait, we did that back on page 1. Hm..." He can't help but think that the arena fighters will go on tour, perhaps. Perhaps also secretly in search of more writers...nah.*