*As our heroes continue along the trail of destruction, the city of Costa Del Sol on the horizon, Krig wanders along beside the group, in the grass. He sees a flower and stops, stooping to pick it up.*

Krig:"Hmm, ground seem farther away than normal. Something funny."

*Krig looks at his own arms*

Krig:"Krig have big arms. Krig like big arms. Big arms help Krig smash."

*Krig approaches the band of semi-heroic heroes, towering over them by at least a foot.*

Krig:"Why Krig's friends so small?"

Geb:"Uh, Krig, we're not small, you're just big."

Krig:"You shorter than Krig shoulder now!"

Maybe:"No, Krig, you're taller now."

Krig:"Ya, Krig taller than friends now. Krig friends shrink!"

Sem:"Yes, Krig, we've all somehow shrunken to less than three feet tall. Think, man! Isn't it more likely that you're bigger, than it is that we're all smaller?"

Krig:"Krig not tall. Ground far away. Krig afraid of heights."

*Krig gets on his hands and knees, in order to keep is acrophobia in containment.*

Krig:"Ground not far away now. Hey, Krig's friends get taller again! Krig happy now."

*Everyone sighs or otherwise indicates some form of emotion, and turns to head into town.*

Post Ended. Please wait for further notifi--

Move over, you little snot. Tune in next time for more daring action, suspense, drama, suspense, romance, suspense, and suspense! Will our heroes ever - ow!

That's for pushing me. Ahem. Please wait for further notifica-- OW! You'll pay for that, old man!

***Technical Difficulties. Please stand by.***

------------------
"The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him." (Proverbs 18:17)

[This message has been edited by Krig_the_Viking (edited January 23, 2001).]

*Ante, whilst lounging on a beach sipping a drink from a coconut shell, realizes something is amiss...*

Ante:... Wait a minute... I'm on a beach wearing a long trenchcoat (reminicsent of Vash the Stampede), relaxing when I actually prefer the company of a gun to that of a person, and looking at women when the only woman my character would have ever looked at in this way is dead and buried somewhere behind a waterfall... oops.

*Ante quickly regains his composure and takes on the persona of the cool-under-pressure homicidal maniac aka Vincent. Suddenly Maybe rushes onto the beach after following the trail of burnt grass and trampled monsters, followed by the other party members.*

Maybe: *announcing attack* "BOOT TO THE HEAD!"

!SHHHHWUMP!

Ante: Ow! You booted me in the head! *cocks gun* I'd like to see you try that on me again!

Maybe: "BOOT TO THE HEAD!"

!SHHHHWUMP!

Ante: OW!!! Stop that!

*As the others stare dumbfounded, Ante takes multiple boots to the head. Meanwhile, in the semi-real world outside of the TV a strange event happens. Through a mis-wiring of a second Playstation to the televison, the world of FF7 crosses with another world, somewhat similar, just as dangerous... A large black cylinder lowers from the sky over the ocean near the coastal town, sucks up Emerald Weapon and eats it, absorbing its power, and grows a face. It begins to taunt the heroes mercilessly.*

Large cylindrical grey thing with a face: I am ZOPHAR, dark lord of dark lords, bringer of destructive desctruction, head of the department of redundency dept. Cower in fear, for I shall consume your world and reshape it in my own twisted image.

Geb: Uhhh... uh oh....

*Can our heroes possibly beat two RPGs at the same time? Who is behind this splicing of PS games? Did next Friday actually arrive? Tune in next time...*

<NSP: Stupid PS mod chips...   >

In the offices, Maybe, who is getting demmed confused by all these piddling video games the boys are playing, continues playing her guitar. Her melancholy medieval tunes keep pouring into the room, and Losien, also tiring of the playstation, leans on Maybe's desk, humming along. Finally, Maybe realizes that she's lost track of where the story has been going.

Maybe: *reading the posts of the past few days* La, but Ante is strange! *glances over her shoulder at the boys, still crowded hypnotically about the playstation* Los, let's see if we can make things a little more... interesting. *eg* Alter their costumes a bit... Begad, who are their tailors? How frightfully drab! First, give those boots a dapper strap, the garters MUST have some snap; oh, cravats should be flounced about their necks, they need stitching on their caps (how bewitching!); gotta drape the capes, puff the cuffs, oh and we absolutely HAVE TO embroider those lapels! Hmm.... oh, we need to smock their frocks, perfume their plumes... And now to finish with some buttons, buckles, ruffles, and lace... Viola! Splendid! It's amazing what a good bit of frou-frou can do for a man, isn't it, Losien? *Losien nods happily*

Maybe starts triumphantly singing "La but someone has to strike a pose and bear the weight of well-tailored clothes, and that is why the Lord created men!"



[This message has been edited by MaybeChild (edited January 26, 2001).]

Geb the writer: Eureaka! I have the most brilliant idea for the next episode!

*The other writers jump up, exclaiming "what?" and "tell us". Geb continues to stand upright, with his finger pointed in the sky, as if to speak, but his mouth stays open as he tries to utter words. His eyes then start to wonder, as if trying to find something. He relaxes his body and takes the finger pointing at teh sky and places it on his chin.*

Geb the writer: I had the idea just a moment ago...don't ja hate when that happens?

*The others sigh, and continue to go about their business.*
----------------------------------------
"I'm a Mog: part man, part dog. I'm my own best friend!" --John Candy, Spaceballs

~Geb

Sem, realizing that Maybe has been absent from the story TV for quite some time, decides to see what is up. Poking his head into her office, he spotted Maybe's latest project, and sounded the alarm-fancy clothing is quite dangerous. Otter and Krig came immediately, and all three elected to follow the direction taken by Sem's computer.

------------------
The early bird may get the worm-
but it's the second mouse who gets the cheeze.

Omnia quae specto dominavi, et tantam magnus sum, ut non specto!

*In the Massassi offices, three bodies could be seen jumping out of a high window. The first, whom we know as Semievil, took a swan dive through the window, landing in the pool conveniently below them. The second, TheOtter, leaped Matrix-style off the ledge, stopping in mid-air with the camera spinning around him, before flipping into the pool. Krig followed with a cannonball, making a huge splash in the water.*

*Gebohq, having heard the news of Maybechild's diabolical plans late, ran panting towards the window. Stretching his arms out, he threw his body out the window, looking a lot like some fear-stricken Superman. Before his feet left the window sill though, Maybe and Losien grabbed hold of Geb's feet, stopping his foreward momentum. Gravity, remembering that it never took a break from it's job, pulled Geb's body down hard onto the building's side. Geb wispered an "owie" as Maybe and Losien pulled his flattened body up the side of the building and back through the window.*

*The three escaped writers looked up to witness Gebohq's capture, and pitied the poor fool.*

*Inside the offices, Gebohq struggled as Maybe and Losien strapped on the frilly shirts, the shiny pants, and the gaudy jewelry. Then came the makeup and hair gel.*

Geb: NO! Not the hair! Not the makeup! AHHHHHH!!!!

*Randy, still guiding the actions of the heroes via the Playstations, turns around to see Geb, who looks like a combination of Prince, Boy George, and Sting. Geb points at him.*

Geb: Don't you say a word, you got that?

Randy: *trying to hold back his snickering* ok...

Geb: And hey! How come they haven't tried anything with you?

Randy: SHHH!! I've been hiding when they've come in--

*Mayebchild and Losien pop in, when their eyes spy Randy.*

Maybe: There he is!

Randy: AHH!!

*Randy tries desperately to flee as Geb and the others had, only to be restrained by Maybe and Losien. The two women dragged Randy into their personal room. Gebohq thought to himself that, under any other circumstances, he'd count himself lucky to be in a room with only two other women. Grabbing the controller, he was about to continue where Randy left off. An idea struck him though, and Gebohq dug for a Gameshark...*
--------------------------------

*In the realm of our heroes, the ominous shadow of the giant ZOPHAR tube-guy looms above the resort.*

Geb: Yeup, we're screwed.

*A flash of white blinds everyone, and when everyone regains their vision, nothing seems to have changed.*

Otter: *to Ante* Do you feel like a chunk of time was ommited from our memory?

Ante: Yes, but look here! I have every inventory item I can think of.

Otter: So you do. Hm...I don't remember holding this BFG in my hand before...

Sem: Praise be the writers! They have bestowed upon us gifts of whoop-@ss!

ZOPHAR: Uh-oh...

Geb: Sha-weet! I can moon-jump!

*As Geb started to float in the air, Zophar emits a powerful blue laser beam at him, but it appeared to have no effect.*

Geb: Invul, niiice.

*Geb takes a careless punch at the huge cylinder, which promptly flashes as if injured and crashes into the water below.*

Geb: I am the chosen one!

Ante: No you're not. We all just have hacks on.

Geb: Hush you, don't burst my bubble.

*The whole background sizzles in static, and our heroes find themselves standing face to face with Sephiroth.*

Maybe: Oh-oh! My turn to summon a glitch!

*As Maybechild attempts to summon a debug character, the surroundings freeze, and our heroes find themselves paralyzed.*
----------------------------------------
*Randy, having been violated as Geb has, staggers back in to find Geb guiding our hereos with the use of a Gameshark.*

Randy: *gasp* You violated the game! And now look what you did! You froze it! Now what are we going to do?

Geb: *trying to look innocent* Uhh...kareoke?

Finally, got the wanna-be narrator to shut up. *ahem* Will our hereos be frozen in this state for all eternity? Will Randy and Geb the writers stop feeling pretty? Will Maybe and Losien stop their reign of terror? Tune in and find out, right here. Well, ok, right below here.
--------------------------------

"You have two things here, jack and ****, and jack just left town" -Army of Darkness

~Geb

[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited January 28, 2001).]

NSP: Sink me! I forgot to say what exactly you guys were wearing, therefore you all mistakenly took my meaning to be Prince-ish.
*Still in the offices*

MaybeChild, admiring the work of her musical fop-o-matic, grins at the guys in front of her, dressed in full frou-frou and looking quite dashing in their pastel animal print frock coats with matching-colored breeches, high-heeled 18th century shoes, plumed hats, and really frilly jabots (ruffly kind of things that take the place of a cravat).

Geb: er, Maybe....
Otter: People are gonna laugh at me!
Sem: They don't already? Maybe, couldn't you have given me something in black?
Maybe: La! how frightfully drab!
Masetto: Actually, I quite like this look. It's rather... Summery!
Maybe: Does he scare anyone else?

------------------
"See me, feel me, touch me, heal me" ~ The Who's "Tommy"

*Meanwhile, in the office of Antestarr the writer, a quick e-mail with attached pictures shows up on his computer.*

Antestarr: Thank goodness I got the transfer to the second office several-thousand miles away. Now if there were only more writers out here...

*In the writers' offices...*

Geb: Waaait a minute. Didn't you guys *points to Sem, Krig and Otter* jump out the window and escape? But you're here now, dressed as I am. And I'm not quite looking like Prince, Sting, or Boy George, but something out of The Scarlet Pipernickel.

Maybe: The godess that supported me changed that. Guess she forgot to erase your memory.

Krig: Krig's head hurts.

Maybe: Well, you see, our universe as we know it is actually only one in an innumerable other ones, each different because of a certain event that has, is, or will happen in the universe. *pulls out a quantum physics book* This stuff is pretty interesting.

*Meanwhile, in the offices of the "gods"...*

Geb's god: No no, don't bore the audience with quantum physics.

Maybe's godess: I can do whatever I want thank-you-very-much.

Geb's god: Suit yourself. But my part stays.

*The camera pans back, zooming away from the gods, through the stars, and enlarges to become people who still look vaguely familiar to the writers.*

Sem's equivilant: We weren't ever suppose to have personal messages with the gods. Now it's going to get confusing.

Otter's equivilant: It hasn't already?

Sem's equivilant: Uh-oh, the camera doesn't know when to stop now...

*The camera continues to zoom backwards, showing quicker and quicker the world, teh universe, blackness, the writers, the world, etc. The sound of tires squeling to a stop is made as the camera finally stops with a shot of the world. The camera zooms back in in a flash of colors, and we now see our heroes. Spinning in all its magnificance before them is a mystical swirl.*

Losien: Oh wonderful, the "great" writers have screwed up again.

Sem: PLOT HOLE!!!!

*Everyone braces themselves as the mystical swirl embraces them. Somehow now, the events beforehand seem perfectly logical and continuous.*

Ante: So where were we?

Otter: Frozen in place?

Ante: Oh right.

*Our heroes now promptly paralyze, due to the use of the Gameshark.*

*In the writer's offices, the male writers have now seemed to have grown a knack for the clothing, especially since the nearby women seemed to like them for being "cultured and sophisticated". Krig licks his hand and wipes his hair back as he follows one of the nearby...er..."interns".*

........Wha-? Oh yeah... What's going to happen to our heroes now? Er...blah blah blah, yakkity-smakkity, tune in next time...er..and stuff. Can I take my break now
--------------------------------------------
"...and there was much rejoicing.(yey)" -Monty Python and the Holy Grail

~Geb

*Desperately wanting to keep Neverending Story alive, but feeling his brain sapped of creative energy, Krig the Writer bumps NES up to the top of the forum.*

------------------
"The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him." (Proverbs 18:17)

<As the writers plot yet another 'plot hole', there comes a knock at the door. Geb opens the door to find Brian standing in the hall.>

Sem: <GASP> IT'S THE BOSS!!

Brian: Ok?? Now I remember why we gave you the end office on this dark hallway.

Geb: So, What's up?

<It is at this point that Geb notices large numbers of burly, unionized laborers moving office funiture and supplies from the neighboring offices>

Geb: Uhhh...are we being evicted??

Brian: Actually that's what I came here for. I...

Otter: NO!!! YOU CAN'T THROW US OUT INTO THE STREETS!!! Where will we go? What will we do? You know they don't PAY writers in the REAL world. We'll go hungry, we'll STARVE!!! For the love of humanity...You...

All: SHUT UP!!!

Brian: ...uhh...actually, I came to inform you that MASSASSI INC. is moving to a new office building, therefore you will move all of your stuff to the new building.

Ante: WooHoo!!! New office, new office...bum bum chaa, bum chaa...

<With that the writers begin dancing ah la disco...>

Brian: Uhh...right...new office.

<A couple days later our writers converge at the location of the new office building. With it's gleaming exterior and towering majesty, it dominates the surrounding skyline.>

Geb: Well, this is it 1234 eUniverse St.

Randy: Right, let us unpack and get into the new office.

<Just then a large helicopter can be heard flying in low from behind the prolific writers.>

Krig: Hey, cool...it's carrying a building!

Losien: Wow, That's an ugly building.

Maybe: Uhh...peeps...that's OUR building.

< The helicopter flys around the MASSASSI INC. building and carefully places the Forums building right next to the MASSASSI building. Just then Brian comes out of the MASSASSI INC. building...>

Brian: Hey guys and gals, what's up.

Geb: Why is the forums building being airlifted here?

Brian: Well, we wanted to save money so...we just moved the building here and man was it cheap. Oh, by the way, ya'll can move back into your office any time. Laters...

< Our writers begin to unpack their thing in the NSP office. >

Maybe: Poo...no new office.

Sem: Oh well...

< Randy walks over to the window and opens the shade revealing a brick wall flush against the window... >

Randy: Looks like no more 'flying computers'.

< Masetto opens the window on the next wall... >

Masetto: Well this one seem operational.

Krig: Well, it looks like it's back to the grind.

< As our writers get settled into their new/old office they hope the move will clear their weary minds and alow the ideas to flow like water...>

*Within the offices, the writers unpack and prepare themselves for more work*

Masetto: I do look rather dashing, don't I? *Admires himself in the mirror, still wearing the outfit given to him by Maybe*
Otter: No, you don't!
Masetto: What!? How dare you!
Otter: Hahaha, you look really stupid...
Masetto: You moron, you're wearing the same thing I am except its in a different color!
Otter: I still say you look stupid

*He leaves the room, walks down the hall, and enters his office, laughing all the while*

Maybe: Well I think you look dashing
Masetto: Ah, thanks Maybe

*He goes back to admiring himself in the mirror, constantly turning and posing and different ways*

(A solo violin is heard playing an eerie melody, like something out of a horror movie)

Geb: Ah! Unpacking finished! Time to get down to work... let me see let me see....

(The violin's notes become a little louder)
*Geb stares at the cursor on his screen*

Maybe: What are you going to write about Geb?
Geb: I don't know... got any ideas?
Maybe: No, nothing at the moment....
Randy: Hey guys! There's this other Playstation RPG that I th--
All: NOOOO!
Randy: Sheesh! Just thought I'd ask...

(The violin's tempo increases slightly, and the sound gets gradually louder and louder)

Randy: You know, maybe one of the playstation action games would be fun to the basis of a plot like--
Sem: Ni! No more playstation for you!

*So saying, Sem decides to use a Masetto tactic against Randy. Sem runs over to the playstation and snatches it up, then makes a bee-line for the window.*

Randy: NOOOOOO!

*Sem smiles evily as unlatches the window with one hand, the Playstation in the other. He closes his eyes, feeling immersed in the power that envelopes him. He chuckles to himself as he openes the window with one hand and thinks of how it was he who had lost his machine to a window, but now it is he who possesses the power. The window clicks, indicating it is fully open, and Sem, with his eyes still closed, goes to throw the Playstation out the window into oblivion*

(The violin music intensifies, building more and more suspense with ever note)

*The playstation soars through the air after leaving Sem's hand, and plummets to the ground where it shatters into thousands of small pieces.

Sem: HA!
Randy: *sobbing* no!
Geb: Cool!
Maybe: Hehehe!
Sem: You know, thats A LOT more fun when it happens to someone else
Geb: Haha, too bad it wasn't Masetto's playstation, then you'd have been returning the favor
Krig: Where Masetto go?
Maybe: Yes... where did he go? Did anybody see where he went?

(Violin music becomes louder and louder, accelerating in speed with every passing moment)

*The others shrug*

Krig: He walked out of room. He say something about Otter....
Maybe: Oh no!

(The violin begins to play so fast that the notes begin to screech, and soon all that can be heard is dissonance)

*Masetto bursts into Otter's office with a wild look in his eyes*

Masetto: OTTER! STOP PLAYING THAT STUPID VIOLIN!!! ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY!

*Otter removes the violin from his shoulder and puts it down in its case. Masetto, satisfied, steps out of Otter's office and goes to rejoin the others*

Geb: Now where was I?
Krig: You try think of story.

*Masetto enters*

Maybe: Maybe you could do something that involved the Scarlet Pimpernel
Geb: Well...I...er....
Maybe: Why not? You already have a sampling of the clothing for the story

*She indicates to Masetto's clothing*

Geb: I don't know....

*Maybe gives him a sharp look*

Geb: Um... I'll...er... think about it....

*Maybe closes in*

Geb: Well...er...YEA! SURE! YES!

*Maybe smiles and starts towards Masetto, who is feverishly typing*

Geb: <Whew>
Maybe: (To Masetto) Hey, what're you working on?
Masetto: You gave me the best idea!
Maybe: You mean you're writing something involving Pimpy!?
Masetto: Well... uh... no... but you talking about that gave me an idea! See, the Scarlet Pimpernel, in its stage form, is a musical, which got me thinking how cool it would be if the story we were writing was an opera!
Maybe: Oh...
Krig: Opera!?
Geb: Um...
Sem: Ni! Not opera!

THE OPERA

*Geb appears center stage as the Curtains rise. He sings with orchestral accompanyment, while wearing a herald's uniform.*

Geb:
Sing me your song O Muse of wonder,
thy saddest song known by thy breath,
Sing soft as rain, loud as thunder,
of a tale full of betrayal and death.

*Maybe appears on a descending platform Upstage Center, dressed as a Muse in a flowing white garnment*

Maybe:
This is the sad, sad tale I shall sing,
The tale full of death and betrayal;
I shall sing of Krig the Viking,
And of a friendship gone sour and stale.

*The curains close as the orchestra plays the cadence to the end of the song. Soon the curtains re-open and Krig is CS, and is (Oddly enough) dressed as a viking, ready for combat. Other vikings surround him, similarly dressed for battle.

Krig:
Me Krig! Me your king!
You kill them!
You kill like fierce viking!
You kill Sem!

*Sem appears dressed as a Roman Official [hehe] with dozens of Roman soldiers behind him*

Vikings:
We kill! We kill them!
We kill the romans
And the evil Sem!

We kill! We kill them!
WE kill the romans
And the evil Sem!

Sem:
Yonder is the foolish foe!
Over there by the large tree!
Win men win! You all know
that if you don't I shall say "ni!"

Shall say "Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..."

*Enter Maybe as the Muse from UL, gracefully walking across the platform against the back of the stage. All other action on stage is frozen.*

Maybe:
Alas poor Krig knew not at all
of the battle that he was to endure;
That all of his men would fall--
All except for Masetto, the Traitor....

*All exit as Masetto Enters DR, dressed in a viking outfit. He is surrounded by ten women-- five dressed in white, the other five in black, the colors representing the moral and immoral aspects of his mind.*

Masetto:
Krig the villan, Krig the hero!
Krig the Generous? Ha!-- Krig the Thief!
He gets all the credit-- I get zero!
Of this torture I must get relief....

Its time to kill, time to plunder
all the greatness and good he does get,
Its time to tear his image asunder
and give it me, who deserves it!

I shall--
--------------------------------------------

*BACK IN THE OFFICES*

Masetto: NO! HEY! WAIT! STOP!

*The sound of a computer hitting the pavement echos throughout the vicinity of the office building. Sem stands by the window with an exstatic look on his face*

Sem: At last! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! GOTCHA!
Krig: Sem's Revenge!
Masetto: *wimpering* But... but.... my opera! I had EVERYTHING on that computer, and no back-ups!

*All cheer at the reassurance of the Opera's demise*

Randy: Good!
Masetto: Hey! I resent that! Guys, c'mon, it was good....... wasn't it?

*A cricket chirps in one of the corners of the office for a few moments*

Masetto: Fine then! I'm going up to Circut City to get a new computer!

*He makes for the door to leave when there is a knock. Masetto opens the door to find a police officer standing in front of him. A look of sudden surprise and alarm crosses everyone's face, only to be quicly masked by innocent smiles*

Maybe: Oh... hello officer, what can we do for you?
Officer: There have been several reports of objects being thrown from the windows of this building. This is of course a violation of littering and reckless endangerment laws. I am placing you all under arrest.
All: WHAT!?
Officer: And gentlemen, might I add, I love the outfits....
Maybe: Hehehe!
Sem: This is hardly the time to be laughing...
Masetto: Might as well make the best of the situation... and hey, if you're going to be arrested, might as well be arrested with style!
*Ante, Krig, Geb, Otter, and Randy groan while Maybe smiles contentedly*

WHAT IS TO BECOME OF THE WRITERS? CAN THEY AFFORD A DECENT LAWYER? WHAT WILL BECOME OF THE NES? IS THIS THE END OF MASETTO'S OPERA? STAY TUNED TO THE NES TO FIND OUT!

(NSP: Good stuff Masetto. Her'es a REAL short thing, but I hope inspires someone else...)

*In the realm of our heroes, Geb and company find themselves in a vast void. Literally: the undescribable in a boring kind of way type. Our hereos find themselves feeling undescribable and empty as well.*

Geb: Well, at least we're not frozen anymore...

Otter: Yeah, but what the hell is going to happen now? I can't even decide what to do, like I have no free will. Wa-a-heeeeeyta minute...

Ante: Ruh-roh.

Sem: Ruh-roh? Don't say that! That doens't sound like a good thing.

Ante: Can you feel it...?

Sem: Eeep! The presence of the writers! They're...gone!. Except for...*gasp* Sh**!
---------------------------------------------
*Outside the Massassi's forum offices, Gebohq, Otter, Semievil, Maybechild, Randy, Krig, and Antestarr are being handcuffed and walked to the police cars as they are read their rights.*

Ante: I knew I shouldn't have left that secondary office 2,000 miles away! At least I'm not wearing the frilly outfit...

Officer: Stop your whining!

*Gebohq looks up to the windows to see Losien waving them a cheerful goodbye, as if they're going on some vacation. Gebohq thinks to himself "Uh-oh, she's going to be the only one for now writing for the Neverending Soty Thread. This isn't good..."*

*Inside the offices, Losien looks at her computer with deep thought, thinking what would be best for the story...*

What will happen to our heroes under the hands of Loien, now burdened with the weight of the entire thread? What will happen to the writers? Why--hey! Let Go of me! I didn't do anything wrong! Arrest by association? That's ridiculous...Tune in next time folks! I'm waiting to find the answers myself! *gets dragged off by the same police who arrested the writers*

(NSP: OK, so maybe a tad longer than short...)

~Geb

(ROFLMAO!! Massetto, that's the funniest NES post I've read in a long time! This story is coming out of its slump!)


(Or it would be, if I could think of something to write...)

------------------
"The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him." (Proverbs 18:17)

NSP

*Sem appears dressed as a Roman Official [hehe] with dozens of Roman soldiers behind him*

=P I don't blame myself for disposing of that comp- I otta crucify you again for that ;D

------------------
The early bird may get the worm-
but it's the second mouse who gets the cheeze.

Omnia quae specto dominavi, et tantam magnus sum, ut non specto!

NSP: Yes, it must have taken an incredibly long time to write such a good post Mason. Don't listen to those people who tell you that you've lost that hour you took writing that post forever to better pursuits...yes, it was good...good post...did I mention it was good?...(tries desperately to stall for time to think up posts).

~Geb

*In a daring attempt at crossing pop-culture, former pop-culture, and cult culture, Ante comes up with a semi-brilliant idea that may send this story on yet another wildly spinning tangent.*

Ante: Ok, guys, since you somehow managed to pull me through a space fold into the "new" old offices again from my remote assignment, and now we're arrested, I feel the need to pull a "Macguyver"(tm). Now, I'm going to need a few things... First I need a sheet of paper.

*Geb tears a piece of paper off of his notepad.*

Ante: Ok, next I need a pencil.

*Maybe fumbles around in her purse for ten minutes, finally procuring a finely sharpened #2 pencil with full eraser.*

Ante: And last but not least, I need an egg, preferrably old.

*Everybody looks about dumbfounded, wondering where they could find something so strange. Finally, Sem smacks Otter upside the head and an egg pops out of his mouth.*

Otter: Hey, how'd that work?!

Sem: Otter... synonym for water-going Weasel. Or close enough.

Otter: Oh...

*Ante proceeds to scribble on the paper, occasionally stopping to think. Finally he shows the crew a sketch of a line with a circle and an X on it.*

Randy: Ok... and this will help us how?

Ante: Glad you asked. What I am about to create is a paradox. You see, this line represents the timeline of our story. The X is where we are now, being driven to the precinct. The circle is an arbitrary moment prior to our arrest. Now, what I plan to do with this egg here is combine the power of all those who are with us now to create a dimensional divergence at that point, in essence creating a parallel reality in which we are not arrested, but rather go on a wacky quest ourselves leaving our alter-egoes hanging in the balance between life and the reset button.

Geb: Oh... OK.

*The egg, raised into the air and concentrated on by the writers, begins to glow subtly then to shine brilliantly. Seen from a distance fourth dimensionally, the police car leaves the office while at the same time another image runs off in an alternate direction...*

(NSP: Anyone may write on either timeline, or both if they wish. Heck, we may even run into ourselves through some strange twist. Lets just see how confusing this can get eh? Well, on with the post.)

*At the moment of divergence with the original reality...*

*Sem's computer falls from the window with a crash. From the wreckage, a superpowerful internet-being emerges.*

Being: I am free at last. Now to make the lives of those fools all the more interesting...

*Doing the unthinkable, the being summons powers from the darkest parts of the internet, namely www.anipike.com, and does the unthinkable. Mixes two similar animes by melding the characters of the series with the writers.*

*Masetto assumes the role of Vash the Stampede, the red trenchcoat and yellow sunglass wearing protagonist with shrouded history. Destruction and violence follow him everywhere, yet he has never once claimed a life. He stands for what he believes the world is made of... "Love and Peace!"*

*Sem appears wearing a black suit and sunglasses, carrying a large cross. He is Nicholas D. Wolfwood, a man of the cloth and expert gunman, carrying many pistols and a gatling gun within said cross.*

*Maybe is cast into the body of Meryl Strife, the petite insurance agent assigned to Masetto/Vash to keep him from trouble. She acts very proper, yet carries 100 derringers "just in case".*

*Otter attains the body and personality of Milly Thompson, Meryl's right hand woman. She tends to be a ditz, yet hits the nail on the head on many subjects and carries a gatling stun-gun.*

*Geb inherits the character of Sansouke Sagara, a young man who lives as a fighter for hire. He always looks to be the best or strongest and weilds the Zanbatou, a sword so large it can only be swung up to down or side to side (it was generally used to kill the leader of a rival army, horse and all.)*

*Randy takes on Yahiko Myoujin, an orphaned child from a samurai family. He is generally presumptuous and will rush into things, wielding a wooden sword.*

*Losien becomes Kaoru Kamiya, a young lady left in charge of a swordmanship dojo, teaching people to use swords to protect, not to kill. Her temper ranges from mild to very hot, depending on the situation.*

*And finally, Ante is thrust into the body of Kenshin Himura, a man who used to kill for the army but was too good and chose to leave after the war for independence was over. He now uses a reverse-blade sword (that's a sword with the blade on the wrong side for slashing for those who couldn't figure it out), and uses a style of swordsmanship from which few people can stand after a single blow.*

*Looking at each other they realize something is horribly wrong. Can they find the being that bestowed these forms upon them? If so, can they find a way to make it make them normal again? Find out next time.....*

[This message has been edited by Antestarr (edited February 11, 2001).]

*Krig the writer stands dazed as his fellow story writers morph into rather frightening, bizarrly coloured, heavily weaponed cartoon figures.*

Krig the Writer:"Um..."

*Krig the Writer runs away and hides in a closet. Finding himself bored, he whips out a notepad and continues the story storyline, which seems to have been largely forgotten...*

**** ******* ****

The powerful group of heroes stands in a dark void. The only thing visible is the heroes, everything else is a pitch black void.

Maybe:"Where are we?"

Geb:"I'm not sure, but I think someone's turned off the television."

Otter:"Which would explain the lack of background! Of course!"

Sem:"Hey, what's that off in the distance? Can it be... is it... it IS!"

Geb:"We've found it! THE HOLY HAND REMOTE!"

Maybe:"Didn't that get destroyed a while back?"

Geb:"Well, if it's not the HHR, it's a remote just like it!"

*Our heroes take off running, through the inky blackness. Despite the fact that Krig's legs were the shortest of the group, and when he runs he looks like a duck, Krig reaches the HHR first.*

Krig:"Krig got it!"

Geb:"Wait Krig, don't push any of the buttons!"

*Krig pushes a random button.*

All:"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

*There is a lot of flashy special effects, which clear to reveal our heroes standing in front of a small television set in a small wooden shack.*

Geb:"Can it be? Are we finally free of the television?"

Randy:"Woa, so this is what reality's like, eh?"

Losien:"Hey, guys, where are we?"

*Ante looks out of the shacks small window.*

Ante:"We're back at the Arena, guys! Does that place follow us around or something?"

Well, I'm not entirely sure how I got out of that police car, but hey! Things are starting to happen here at the Never Ending Story! Stay tuned for more earth-shaking revelations, right below here!

------------------
"The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him." (Proverbs 18:17)

*Krig the Writer sits in his closet, hunched over his notepad, feverishly writing. He has no other option, if he stops writing, he may go insane...*

------------

*Meanwhile, in the alternate reality in which Antestarr the Writer creates and alternate reality, Krig the Writer sits melancholily crammed into the back of a police car with six or more people.*

------------

*Meanwhile, in the storyline, our heroes have exited the shack with the television and are standing before the massive ediface that is the Arena.*

Ante:"Weren't we in some kind of amusment park before we got sucked into the TV?"

Geb:"I'm not sure, but I think the writers messing with dimensions and crap has brought us back to the Arena. Although I don't remember it being quite like this."

*The heroes look up to a sign standing outside the Arena's main entrance. It reads: "For One Night ONLY: The Jolly Green Giant vs. GODZILLA!!"*

Sem:"I wasn't aware that the Arena owners were allowed to rent the Arena out while we were gone..."

Otter:"I wasn't aware that the Arena was still standing."

*From within the Arena, a reverberating "HO HO HO" can be heard, interspersed with unholy shrieking and the sounds of lasers, fire-breathing, and various other superpowers. Inside, the roar of the crowd swells, and the ground shakes.*

Otter:"I dunno about you guys, but I wanna see this fight!"

*The Otter runs into the Arena, drop kicking the ticket guy in the head when asked for his ticket. The others follow, also eager to see what has been billed as "The Big Green Fight of the Decade!"*

What will happen to our heroic heroes? Will they get good seats, or will they be stuck with awful ones near the rafters? Will our writers succumb to the madness that is sure to follow the messing around with dimensions? Only I know that, and I'm not tellin'!

------------------
"The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him." (Proverbs 18:17)

NSP; I was going to post, but I don't have much time before I should get my sleep *I just re-read NeS, and IMHO, it was still rather funny, which is odd, being a writer myself and all...anywhos, I want to ask that nobody post, because I really do have a long and well-(will be-) thought out idea for teh next post. And as a reminder for myself, I'm putting down some notes (a list of characters still around and such).

Gebohq, Losien, Lt. Randy(physical description?), Burby 00, Darkside, "They", TotallyEvil, Dr. Evil, Antestarr, Krig_The_Viking, Semievil, Maybechild, TheOtter, the Narrator (of course), Gonk, Masetto, computer being (the one who turned the writers anime), the Jolly Green Giant, Godzilla, Ares, Ares' clone(s), Benard the Pidgeon, Morris the Cat, any Massassian, and ALL their backgrounds (eee...perhaps not all their backgrounds...hehe).

Tell me if I'm forgetting soemthing/need to tell me something I don't know (like Randy's hysical description)/something you'd like put in, and I'll try to work it all out in my SUPER-MEGA-ECONOMY-SIZED-POST-OF-WONDER!!!! TA-DA!!! Err..right, tomorrow, I shall try and post. To-morrow, tomorrow...

~Geb

*In one realm, our writers are awaiting their trial, and while waiting, are placed in a group cell. A policeman walks up to the bar, holding Krig by the arm. He has another guard open the lock, then prods him in. He keeps the door open.*

Policeman #1: Well, I'm sure you'd all like to make your one phonecall. First is Mr... Ge..Geb..

Gebohq: That'd be me.

*Geb is escorted to teh nearby phone, where he punches in a few numbers. We hear it ring on teh other side, and teh audience sees an old woman on hte other line.*

Old woman: Hello?
Geb: Hi Mom, it's me.
Old woman: Oh hi, son. I'm so happy you called--
Geb: Yeah Mom, well I just wanted to tell you that I'm in jail now, and--
Old woman: Gebohq! I thought I taught you better! Well I hope you think over just exactly what you did!

*Gebohq hears a "click" on the other side, followed by the dial signal. Gebohq mutters something about "never paying for her dinner again." Next to use the phone was Antestarr. He dialed, and Ares, teh God of War, is on the other side.*

Ares: mmmhello. Ares, God of War speaking. Whom may I smite for you?
Antestarr: Nobody, for now. This is Antestarr. Can you do my friends and I a favor and bail us out?
Ares: mmmm...no. I'm far too busy, and far too lazy. You'll have to fend for yourselves.
Antestarr: But!--

*Ares hung up on Antestarr. Next was theOtter. He dialed the phone, and teh audience see a woman at a desk.*

woman: *in sexy voice* Hi, this is Veronica, your pleasure mate. Oh my, it sure is hot in here, I best jsut take off my shirt then...

*theOtter nods his head and smiles to himself, now hogging up the phone.*
-----------------------------------
*In the writers' offices, Losien sits by her computer, not quite sure what to do. After all, she would most definately mess up the story, she thought. She reluctantly began writing, doing it because she felt she would be more punished for not writing than for writing bad...
---------------------------------------
---------------------------------------
*Meanwhile, in another realm, our writers-turned-anime head off to Silicon Valley, in hopes of tracing the computer that held the being that transformed them into their anime forms. What they would never know is that they would be diving into a deep and dark consipracy that could possibly be spinning them off into more trouble than they can handle.*

*On the walk to the airliner security checks, Geb walked through first, dragging his huge sword behind, not quite grasping yet that being anime meant he could lift such heavy objects. The security gate goes off, and the security guards take Geb's sword away from him. The others walk through, and the gate practically has a heart attack beeping off. The guards move in on the others, when Maybechild holds up the briefcase.*

Maybechild: Hey! Backoff, or I'll give all my weapons to these guys out here. *to random people* Hey, want a--

Guard: That's ok miss! Y-you guys can go.

Maybe: Thank you! *to Otter* See? There are some guys who will be gentlemen...

*As they make their way to the airplane, Gebohq takes the time to talk to Antestarr.*

Geb: Being an anime guy sure feels funny. I have these huge eyes that make everything fish-bowled, my hair looks funkier than usual, and my mouth movements don't match what I'm saying.

Ante: Yeah, but kicking @ss is a lot more fun when you're anime, not to mention neat looking. And all the chicks have at least a C chest size.

Geb: You've got a point...
------------------------------
*At the offices of the anime writers, Krig_the_Viking continues to write madly in his notepad, darting his head from side to side at the slightest noise. His desire for food was becoming stronger, and soon, he thought to himself, he would have to step out of the safety of the closet. He would hold out for a little longer, he told himself, as he continued writing...*
-------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------
*In the realm of our heroes, they find themselves being only able to find seats in the nosebleed section. Gebohq turned his head behind to see the Jolly Green Giant throw the Fruitcocktail of Hope at Godzillia, follwed by a can of cream corn.*

Geb: *to Maybe* We never got this kind of popularity when we were fighting.

Maybe: What can you say? Celebrities can sell.

*The group finally find seats, far in the back, and tehy each take a seat. Randy attepted to view the fight with a pair of binoculars, but found that he could only make out two small green specks. It might have helped if he tried seeing through the opposite side of the binoculars, but not likely. Growing bored, the fighters doze off, not having had any sleep in God knows how long.*

*When they wake up, they find litter strewn all over the place; the fight now being ove rsince late last night...or perhaps it was a week ago. It was hard to tell just how LONG they had slept. The group made their way towards the arena floor. They found themselves confronted with Ares' clone, with benard the pidgeon perched on his shoulder.*

Ares' clone: (in usual monotone voice) Hello former contestants. Prepare for your transformation.

Otter: I wonder what it could be...

*A flash goes off, and our heroes find themselves in forms they haven't been familiar with in a long time...themselves in a suedo video game (JediKnight in particular) style.*

*Gebohq wore black dress pants, a dark blue collared shirt, and the complimentary black cape given to all contestants. His hair took the style of Kevin Bacon's hair in Tremors. He was armed with a Glock-like weapon, but has a general knwoledge of other forms of combat, such as sword skills and had-to-hand. Gebohq gives off the aura of a well-rounded-leader-type who holds true to a set of moral codes.*

*Semievil, 190 pounds of skin and bone (literally), also donned the complimentary black cape. He holds a staff in one hand, and in the other, a stein. It is apparent he holds the power to control the elements, and would be quick to either fight with towering strength or flee in a drunken stupor. Technological aids are not foreign to him either, apparent because of the jetpack on his back. He's not quite good, but not evil either, hence his name.*

*Maybechild, garbed in earth-toned hippy clothing, does not done the black cape most of the others wear. Instead, her massive red curly hair covers where her cape would have covered her back. She is simply holding a lighter in her hand, in reverance to Metallica. A woman is her own weapon.*

*Antestarr stood with the black robe that most everyone else wore, which happns to match the rest of his black attire. An aura of bad-@ss eminates from him, with a myseterious background and an odd honor code to follow. He is armed with a salt shaker and his patented Lightfoil(tm), along with whatever happens not to be bolted to the floor.*

*Losien, standing out from the group, is wearing a casual outfit: jeans and a white T-shirt, both revealing her sexy body. Her lack of self-esteem is equal to Antestarr's bad-@ss image, if not more obvious. Again, a woman is her own weapon, but even if it were otherwise, it would be unnatural for Losien to wield a weapon of any sort, save the fact that she plays the serious relief and the underdog.*

*Masetto, wearing a dark green trenchcoat and grudge clothes, looks like a college student straight out of Theory class (complete with chin whiskers to stroke while in deep thought). For attacking, Masetto is most natural with his own martial art skills, but will also use the lightstaff all contestants are equipped with. Masetto tends to be the oddball in the group, filling in where something is needed.*

*Lt. Randy, his radiant red hair in defiance of his military-crew cut, wears a red and black uniform, complete with cold outlining, and, of course, the complimentary black cape. With the complimentary lightstaff, Randy packs two powerful pistols, a repeater, a rail gun, and a concussion rifle. All this, possible by our economy size pockets, which seem to defy reality. Randy, like most military personel, tends to shoot first, and ask questions later. Randy also tends to be the only person Reality likes to pick on.*

*TheOtter, wearing all black, appears much like a Goth person: dark and foreboding. Hanging from his shoulder is his black satchel, with the first-aid cross imprinted on it, giving him an aura of a not-so-nice Mary Poppins. He does not seem to have a weapon of choice, rather, he uses whatever he pulls from the mysterious satchel, and is also skilled in being able to shoot fireballs from his hands. All this, his goatee, and his British-esque personality makes TheOtter unpredictable, to say the least.*

*Krig The Viking, a short and stout man, with wild red hair on his head and face, wears a blue tunic with a yellow cape, which is now long faded and dirty from many battles. Krig wields a double-bladed battle ax, rusty and stained as himself. His eyes usually cast a vacent stare, with teh left eye twitching every once in a while. Krig is what one would call the purest fighter, only thinking on the moment.*

*The fighters, now "transformed", stand ready as Are's clone continues to talk to them.*

Ares' clone: Now to introduce *small drumroll* your opponents.

*The fighters stood as Ares' clone began to introduce the other fighters.*

[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited February 16, 2001).]

(NSP: Hey, my English teacher once taught Kevin Bacon for a year in Gimli, Manitoba. Pretty sweet, huh? I hate to do an NSP, but this is shaping up very nicely... back to the basics )

------------------
"The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him." (Proverbs 18:17)

(Can i become a part of this? My name is Sayo, from Crystal of Bounty HUnters thread. I would like to come into the story NOW, i am a bounty hunter with force training and a Make Me do what i wanna do attitude???)

*A spotlight from above lights each opponent as Ares' clone reads their bio off. For convience of the readers, so as they might stay awake, we will see these descriptions in the normal story format.*

*The one who is known as the Darkside, fitted with flowing dark robes (of many colors, but are either faded and/or too dark to be seen as anything other than black), towers at least nine feet, hovering slightly off the ground. If one could see the face under the hood, it would be described as flawless yet featureless, with no eyes but instead red pupils that looked like bright yet dying ambers of a fire. This being is the collective forces of all evil people that hold supernatural powers, the Sith in particular.*

*The second being, known as "They", appears to be your stereotypical terrorist-look-a-like, complete with black trenchcoat, black dreads, uzis, and stubble. In opposition to Darkside, "They" holds all the powers of evil in "reality": TV, the media, video games, thugs, anyone blamed right or wrong for the evil in the world.*

*Standing at shy of a foot is a furry creature with big, creppy eyes and a more disturbing high voice, who goes by the name Burby 00. Burby is the prototype of a vast army of furry robotic creatures, and not unlike the Borg from Star Trek, its mission is to dominate the universe. Its "cute" appearance lures its prey in its clutches, when then is quickly taken over, usually by Burby's footmen.*

*Morris the Cat, more of a troublemaker than an opposer, sits with his immense fat body taking up a good deal of the floor. He is known as the super-editing web kitty throughout the galaxy, but has a better reputation for eating more than a swarm of locusts in a single sitting. Morris only wishes to feed his neverending hunger for food and the Internet.*

*Ares, God of war, stands in all his power and arrogance and looking like..well...a god. Actually, on closer inspection, we find it is not Ares himself, but his other clone, created to have both the original's fighting spirit and the monotone voice, which all clones tend to have, like some bad Xerox copy. Though teh real Ares still continues to run the show from behind the scenes, the second clone, who is substituting for him, has all of Ares' powers. In other words, he is the equivilant of a L33T hacker in a JediKnight game. For simplicity, this clone will be known as Bore.*

*TotallyEvil, Semievil's eeeevil sister, looks also to be straight out of college, wearing blue jeans, a black turleneck, and curly black hair. Need we say more?*

*Farr, a high demon, perhaps the greatest next to Satan himself, casts an aura of inky black darkness around him. All that is recognizable from the being is a big, toothy smile, as a cheshire cat does. Standing next to him is the mind behind the powerful mass, his girlfriend. The woman, unlike everyone else, shows no fear towards Farr. She has simple brown hair, and wears simple clothes, but adorns the same disturbing smile on her face.*

*Ares' clone makes special note of a new opponent by trying to show enthusiasm in his voice. The result ends up being that he makes himself a little louder.*

*The new opponent is a classic-comic book style bad guy who oddly goes by the name Mr. Slick. A horned mask covers his eyes, acting as his overexagerated eyebrows, with his blackspiky hair in the middle. His eyes look likeblack slits in the mask, except when its dark, which end up looking red. Below his mask, all we see is a mouth, which often smiles much like Mr. Sinister from the X-men. Where his right hand should be is a claw, much like what Fulgore from Killer Instict has, and on his left hand is a glove which transforms into any shape he desires. Mr. Slick somes complimentary with a sidekick, anmed Oliver, the adolesent technical prodigy, the epitome of a dweb.*

Geb: *to Sem* Who invited those two?
Sem: Got me...

Ares' clone: Now that each has been properly introduced, I shall continue with your goal.

Randy: To beat the crap out of each other?

Ares' clone: ...yes. *holds his hand ot his ear* I'm terribly sorry, this time, PPV, the DMV, and your other sponors wish this to be a little different. Notice how the arena is now shaped much like a football field. Each side has a flag that represents your team. Combining the best of Capture the Flag and American football, Pay-per-View hopes to bring the fight of the century of the week new and higher rating by having each team try to capture the opponent's flag, while keeping your opponents from doing the same. Teams can be expanded at any time during the game. The team to have the most points before the arena and comet its on crash into the Earth and blowing up wins.

Ante: Uh...won't we be dead when that happens?

Ares' clone: ...*mumbles "Details, details..." to Benard the Pidgeon, perched on his shoulder.* Five minutes before the coin toss.

Oh boy! I get to be the announcer of a team game! Er...Stay tuned to find out which side will win the coin toss! Boo-yetcha!

(NSP: more to come)

~Geb

[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited February 17, 2001).]

*In the realm of our writers-turned anime, the group continues on their quest towards Silicon Valley, now having landed in LAX airport (Los Angelos). The group sticks out like a sore thumb, seeing how they look like the cartoons in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? in anime-style. As they make their way past the gate, the group hears the airplane explode. They all turned to Masetto, eyeing him as the culprit. He smiled innocently, chuckled nervously, and said something about "bad airline food". They all rolled their eyes and made their way to rent a car to head to Silicon Valley.*

*As they leave the scene, the readers/audience notice men in black suits coming out of their hiding places, popping from behind seats and walls liek cardboard practice targets. In fact, for this scene, they probably are. We get a closer look and see real people, all with ominous looks and sketchy personalities to say the least. Three of them group up and speak to each other in low voices.*

ominous man #1: Theses Massassians must be out of the loop. From intelligence, we've gathered they do not know about the fall of the Massassi Coorperation, nor have they found out about our plot to carry out the rest of the plan to destroy the Massassi Empire. These few will pose a threat to our plans, and must be eliminated.

Ominous man #2: (In a deep voice)Yeees....

Ominous man #1: The group will need to rent a car to reach their destination. We must intercept them and eliminate them before they reach to the Silicon Valley Base.

Ominous man #2: Yeees....

Ominous man #!: What do you have to say, ominous man number 3?

*Ominous man #3 simply nods his head in agreement.*

Ominous man #1: Let's move, men...

*The men in black suit tiptoe through the crowd of people in hte airport, following in the direction our anime writers went towards.*

Oh no! The Massassi Temple is to be no more? Will our heroes be able to save Massassi from this evil plot? Tune in folks, and find out!

(more to come)

~Geb

[This message has been edited by Gebohq (edited February 17, 2001).]

*Meanwhile, in the anime writers' dimension, Krig the Viking the Writer, desperate for food, finally decides to step outside the closet. Armed with his pencil, Krig the writer hugs his body against the wall, inching towards the stairs.

Then, as laziness and immense hunger hits him, he decides to dart, in a non-stealthy manner, and towards the elevator, which is bound to be faster than the stairs.*

*Three feet from the elevator doors, Krig the writer leaps into the air, pulling up his feet into a perfect combat roll. Unfortunately, the elevator is closed, and Krig slams headfirst into the shiny doors.*

Krig the Writer:"Owie..."

*Krig the Writer stands, brushing off his jeans, attempting to look dignified. Unlike his storyline counterpart, Krig the Writer wears blue jeans, a t-shirt, and a watch on his hairy arm. His head is bare, with his hair pulled back into a ponytail.*

*Krig the Writer spins on his heel, and reaches up to hit the elevator button. After a moment, the doors open, slowly revealing... an empty elevator. Krig leaps in, spins in the air, and lands, ready for a surprise attack from the rather frightening large-eyed cartoons. He is greeted with the chirping of crickets.*

*Krig reaches up and hits the button for the basement. There should be something to eat there, and there shouldn't be any anime characters. The sound of the doors sliding shut echoes through the empty building.*

*Elevator music begins to play. It's opera music, blasting at a few hundred decibels.*

Krig the writer :(striking a dramatic pose)"Fiiiiigaro figaro-figaro-figaro FIIII-Ga-ROH!"

*The elevator doors slide open, revealing a dark and gloomy dungeon, otherwise known as the Basement. Black slime oozes down the walls, and in the distance various wild-animal noises can be heard. Krig the writer steps out and walks over to a conveniently placed refrigerator.*

*** *** ***

*Meanwhile, overhead, three jet fighters scream by the building sounding suspiciously like TIE fighters. Inside, the pilots wear black helmets, with reflective black goggles, identifying them as bad guys.*

Ominus Pilot #1:"Oscar Papa #2, come in. Do you read me?"

Ominus Pilot #2:"I did five minutes ago, when you asked me last. What do you want?"

Ominus Pilot #1:"Do you see that building down there?"

Ominus Pilot #2:"No, I don't, my eyes have fallen out of my head."

Ominus Pilot #1:"That's the building we've got to hit. Do you copy?"

Ominus Pilot #2:"No, I don't, my ears have fallen off too, nitwit."

Ominus Pilot #1:"Circle around and lock onto it with your Ultra Desctructo Missiles of Doom."

Ominus Pilot #2:"I can't, my hands have fallen off and I can't move the joystick."

Ominus Pilot #1:"Will you cut that out?"

Ominus Pilot #2:"No, really, they've fallen off! I'm crawling around on the floor of the cockpit trying to find them!"

Ominus Pilot #1:"Oh, geez, sorry man. I thought you were joking."

Ominus Pilot #2:"This isn't funny! Stop laughing!"

*Meanwhile, Ominus Pilot #3 has locked onto the target and destroyed the building. The three jets fly away towards a building on the horizon, looming forbiddingly above the rest of the city. The letters "U", "G", and "O" can be made out in glowing neon at the top of the building.*

*** *** ***

*On the ground, an elevator dings. The silver doors slide open, and Krig the Writer steps out, several pounds heavier. He stops still, his mouth half open, cracker crumbs falling out. The camera zooms out to reveal Krig standing in the middle of a large blackened crater.*

Krig the Writer:"Huh. This not good."

What will happen to our beloved storywriters? Will they cease to write, now that their beloved building is destroyed? What will become of our beloved Ominus Pilots? Will our beloved heroes ever become un-animed? Stay tuned to find out!

------------------
"The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him." (Proverbs 18:17)

[This message has been edited by Krig_the_Viking (edited February 17, 2001).]

*Meanwhile, in the realm of the jail-ridden writers, Losien stopped writing to gaze outside the window. //Such a peaceful view// she thought to herself. Losien saw the beautiful blue sky, the birds chirping in the trees, the black jets zooming overhead towards her, the children playing by the cars, the pretty flowers...*

*She looked at the black jets again. //I wonder what they're doing?// Losien thought. She watched as teh jets zoomed over the building. (note: In this realm, the jets drop the explosives down laser-duided paths down the roof chutes instead of missles) She was heading towards her cubicle when she heard teh explosion within the lower levels. She screamed, rushed to her cubicle, and ducked.*

*The whole building began to crumble and fall. A huge cloud of smoke rose. When teh smoke cleared, the entire building was in rubbble, save steel supporters that saved teh one cubicle that Losien was in. She peered over the edge, yelped, and passed out.*

~Geb

*In the realm where our writers are awaiting their trial, our group finds themselves still waiting in a jailcell, with only a few beds, a TV in hte corner, and a simple chair and table, where a policeman is sitting. Across from the cell is a hallway, and close by the hallway is the phone, where theOtter is still standing, with a big smile on his face and still nodding. every once in a while, theOtter would abruptly stop appearing so happy, hanging his head down and cupping the phone close to his head, sureptitiously covering the mouth piece. with a somber tone, he would say something like "What? My father just died?" or "My wife left me?" Then, after a few more moments, would resume his normal overly eager face.*

(NSP: Obviously if any of the other writers want to cut him off and add their own thing, that's cool)

*On the TV, CNN is showing teh massassi forums building, or rather, what was left of it.*

Geb: ...oh my God! Losien was in there!

*Gebohq rushes towards the TV, gripping the bars that kept him from drawing closer. The ppoliceman, holding the remote, changed the channel as they were about to reveal the story on the incident. Gebohq's jaw dropped, and he turned to the policeman.*

Geb: You have to turn it back! I must know what happened, if there are any survivors--

police guy: Yeah, you were enjoying it too much, that's why I changed it. I'll have you guys watch this stuff, it's the most boring thing I've seen on PPV, yet it's always there.

*The writers watch as the TV shows the fight of the century of the week. The normal show, however, was interrupted at the time by an infomercial.*

voice on TV: The Rotary Chicken Baster 9000 is the perfect adition to your cooking palette. It'll make that uncooked chicken all the better. Just ask those that have bought it...

Geb: NOOOOOOOOOoooooo.....

Will our writers in jail be traumatized forever to infomercials and the product of their own horrible writing skills? Will theOtter ever get off the phone? Find out, in out next exciting post of The Neverending Story Thread!

~Geb

(NSP: Duo, as far as your request, I don't think anybody would mind. You have to keep in mind though that The Neverending Story is a comedy above all, and I don't think the said character you wanted to use would fit in NeS. My suggestion is to at least read the last page of NeS to get an idea of what its like, if you haven't already. If you do decide to join, I'll have to fill you in on what's gonna happen in the story and stuff.)

(NSP: Just thought you should all know that Massassi is still up and running now, thanks to StaticX, so we can sontinue this story *writers moan*. Obviously, we can keep the Massassi plot in ther for a while (UGO is after all so much fun to bash, isn't it? hehe). Long live Massassi!)

~Geb

(NSP: Just bumping this up. I can't post tonight, but I'll post soon, really.)

~Geb

*Ante, in yet another alternate reality, looks at the other forums at Massassi. In shock, he realizes that the site is going down soon! Will this truly be the end of the NeverEnding Story?!*

(NSP: Argh, after nearly 6 semi-consecutive story posts, should it come in vain? I thought I was leaving the field wide open to new things. *writers: We have lives you know!* Yeah yeah, excuses excuses... anywhos, I'm going to see how many people I can recruite now, so beware, we might get some amateur NeS writers. So be kind and show them the glorious ways of duct tape and such.)

~Geb

< Meanwhile in the realm of the Anime writers >

* Camera pans across the California country side and comes across a small rent-a-car puttering along the California highway. It looks just like any other car save the massive sword lashed to the roof of the car. *
Otter: Are we there yet???

Geb: For the tenth time this hour, NO!!

Otter: Ok...are we...

Geb: NO, OTTER, NO WE ARE NOT THERE!!!!

<Elsewhere...>

* Back in the prison, Otter remains on the phone... *

Randy: Jailer, are you gonna give the rest of us a chance for the phone?

Jailer (cupping a phone recever to his ear): Shhhh... I can't hear what the chick is saying.

Randy: <sigh> So much for civil rights.

Sem: I wonder if Losien and Krig survived the blast.

Geb: I don't know, I don't know, I don't know...

Maybe: Relax Geb, Krig and Losien are big boys and girls, they can take care of themselves.

Ante (giving maybe a dubious look): Maybe, this is Krig we're talking about...

Geb: You right, they are doomed.

<NSP: Excuse the lack of posts but I've got tests this week, my computer keeled-over and died today, and the replacement parts won't be in for a couple of weeks. Such is Life. >



[This message has been edited by Randy (edited February 23, 2001).]

<Meanwhile, within the wall of the ominous arena...>

* Our heros and villans assemble on the field of battle to participate in a heated match of Capture the Flag (NSP style)... *

* Randy draws his pistols *

Randy (whispering to Geb): Hey, you think we have a chance?

Geb (whispering back): We've handled these characters before, though I'm not too sure about the masked weirdo and his friend.

* Randy begins twirling his pistols ah la wild west style. Just then 'They' fires his Uzi striking Randy's left pistol cauing it to discharge prematurly allowing the bullet to graze Losien's hair. *

Losien: HEY WATCH IT!!!

* Her hair damaged, Losien lets out a blood-curdling cry, races forward, grabs Randy and launchs him in a horizontal tangent directly toward 'They'. Randy covers the distance in nanoseconds and strikes 'They' in the chest. The force of the collision causes the rail charges on Randy and the unseen explosived 'They' had been carrying under his jacket to detonate. *

Losien: Opps...my bad.

* A crater now scars the playing field as the fray begins. Within the crater lay 'They'... *

They: Ouchie...

Maybe: Where's Randy?

Ante: Not sure but we have other things to worry about (pointing in the direction of the villans)!!

* Just then Darkside and Farr begin to close with our heros flanked closly by Ares and TotallyEvil *

Geb: Here they come!!!

* Just then a whistling sound can be heard as Randy plumets from the previously attained altitude directly on top of the opposing flag... *

Randy: aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! <Wham!!>

Losien: Hey, what da ya know.

Geb: RUN RANDY RUUUNNNN!!!!

* Randy looks up to see Mr. Slick and Oliver racing to protect their team flag. Injured from the blast and the landing Randy can barely stand on his feet... *

Randy: Uh Oh, this is going to hurt...

<Will our heros ever win? What will happen to Randy? Will the Highway partol stop our anime heros for their flagrant display of a deadly weapon? These and more in out exiting next episode...>

BY GOD! THIS THREAD STILL EXISTS?!?!?!?!

I MUST DESTROY IT.

*Ares appears out of nowere and kills every single cherecter in this story, to end the insanity.*


Disclaimer: *I created the original neverending story thread here at massassi (i think) and reserve the right to terminate it, wich i might add, i just did.*

This'll never work.....

------------------
When you put the milk in the pantry and the ceral in the refrigerator, or when you make a pot of cofee and forget the pot, its time for a vacation.

(NSP: You're right Ares, you can't kill this story. For one thing, you didn't even try to make it funny. Big no-no there. I think a lesson needs to be taught to you, Ares, hehe. And I'm sorry, but it was in fact GA_Farret who started NeS, even if it wasn't his intention to, and if he ever wishes, I would welcome him to post.)

*In a bright and grand entrance, God, Lord of Lords, parts the clouds and speaks to Ares.*

God: Ares, what has thou done-est this time?

Ares: If you're all so omniescent, why did you ask me?

God: I ask because it makes you realize just how small you really are.

Ares: *grumble* (under his breath) Stupid superior thinks-he's-a-better-god-than-me... *clears throat* um...yeah, I just ended a small story that had outlived its life.

God: *in a parent who's disappointed in a small child* Ares...

Ares: What?

God: Put the story back to its original state before you just tried to end it.

Ares: You wouldn't hurt me...

God: I'll just wipe the existance of Vipers of the galaxy...

Ares: My bad, my bad, I'll put the stupid story back on track...

God: Good boy...
--------------------------
~Geb

(NSP: Well, my creative inspiration right now is limited to arranged Castlevania music, so don't be expecting a post from me until after I meet with the counselor at school (yeah, I gots me an appointment.) Anyone who would like to know of any recent revelations of mine, feel free to pop on over to my website. For those of you who don't know or don't remember it, it should be somewhere around http://www.toad.net/~graef/blog.html . Yeah. Ok. Go back to writing, my minions. Oh wait, you're peers. Nevermind the whole minions thing. Oh, and, by the way, my site will be updated as soon as Blogger lets me... darn error 500 things...)

[This message has been edited by Antestarr (edited February 25, 2001).]

*In the dimension where all of our writers are languishing in jail, Losien the Writer perches on a precariously teetering bit of office, several stories from the ground, the only remaining part of the Massassi Writer's Building. Losien the Writer, passed out from fear, slowly comes to, her journey to conciousness aided by a near miss from a dive-bombing pidgeon.*

Losien the Writer:"Wha--where am I?"

*Losen looks over the edge of what's left of the building, down to the ground. Very, very, very far down.*

Losien the Writer:"Oh my... this isn't good! I'm supposed to be writing the story! There's no-one writing the story right now! I'm going to be in so much trouble!"

*Losien goes over to her computer, which has miraculously survived. She sits down and begins typing hoping that she is not messing up the story at all*
-----------------------------
Meanwhile, in Losien's storyline...
-----------------------------
*The scene opens in a peaceful forest. The sun is shining warmly, its joyful warmth warming the things below it warmly. A cool breeze cool-ly cools the faces of our cool heroes. Our heroes are seated around a small table, which is elaborately set with fancy china, napkins, and teapots. Our heroes are dressed in Victorian era suits and dresses.*

Geb :(in tux)"Despite the fact that I look quite distinguished and spiffy in this tux, I can't help but wonder how it is that we arrived here, in this rather unusual setting."

Sem: (also in tux)"I kinda like it. It's all sureal and creepy."

Losien :(in ball gown)"It's not sureal at all! It's beautiful!"

Krig: (in tux, with hair and beard combed):"Krig frightened..."

Otter :(also in tux)"Hey, guys, I don't know why we're here, but these crumpets are scrumptious!"

*Everyone is silent for a moment. Then Krig slowly reaches a manicured hand out for a crumpet, keeping it close to the table. In an effort to keep him from eating all the food, the rest of our heroes lunge at the crumpets, and a ravenous feeding frenzy occurs, random bits of food flying high into the air over the writhing mass of starved heroes. Except for theOtter, who leans back with a cup of tea and sips it contentedly.*

What has become of our heroes? Have they degraded to the level of animals, foraging for food? Find out in the near future, after all of our writers recover from their bouts of writer's block!

------------------
"The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him." (Proverbs 18:17)

[This message has been edited by Krig_the_Viking (edited March 01, 2001).]

Alright, I think I'll add my bit.

-------------------------

In the dimension where the writers are in jail, Otter is now on the floor, squirming about in ecstasy. The jailer, listening on the receiver in the other room, is stripped to the waist.

Geb: Hey! Now's our chance to escape, while they're distracted!

Our heroes run out, pulling TheOtter behind them. The jailer doesn't even notice, but starts pulling down his pants.

Maybe: ICK! Let's get out of here while my sanity's still intact!

They run away, only to discover their office in ruins.

Losien: (with a sheepish smile) Hey, sorry, guys. . .

--------

In the story, our Hungry Heroes are in a Feeding Frenzy. (Well, Whaddya know? That's awesome alliteration!) Losien watches disgustedly and wonders where she went wrong.

Meanwhile, at the edge of the forest is dank castle. Within its dank corridors (made of dank stone) a dank detente council of dank evil is dankly going on.

Burby00: We must join forces in order to beat the heroic heroes!

Morris the Cat: I'm in!

Darkside: As much as I hate to join forces with the likes of you, I find that I have no choice.

Farr: I concur.

They: So do we.

Ares's clone: Hey, are you schizophrenic or something?

They: We think so, but we're not sure. . .

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Play epic RPGs such as Dark Exile, or duel in the Interdimensional Arena @ The High Citadel