(NSP: I guess I wanna try something so I'll just make a advertisment!)

*.............*
*krig turns on 5" black and white T.V*
Krig: Me hate st00pid conection!
*krig then bashes his head onto the T.V set*
Guy #1: Gidday Mates! we well now break into a comercial from our sponsers!
*Some misterious music comes up*
BUUUMmmmmmmmmmmmmm........BUUUMMMMmmmm......BUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMM. Bum Bum! Dum Dum Dum Dum....
*Meanwhile a man is runing torwards a kool aid bottle, music continues*
Krig: oooooooo tasty drink!
*Krig reaches to the T.V*
*Finnaly man reaches the bottle and lifts it in the air*
Krig: Me want! Me want!
*Making a crisp snap the man chugs the kool aid down*
Kool Aid! The drink you Drink!

(Nsp: Not to great I guess......they st00pid marshmeloes!)

------------------
"What good is a reward if your not around to use it." - Han Solo

(NSP: Hey there Camo. You're post wasn't too bad, especially considering that many of us have pulled off worse *shooting a murderous look towards Sem and his last post* Anywhos, I encourage you to continue writing, and like we tell all writers, as long as you keep the NeS spirit in mind (don't you like how vague that is? hehe), anything can really go. Now it seems that I, Geb, the mighty leader, must pull this shabby thread back together again !!Warning: ego has become too large to support!! Anywhos, let's see what I can't come up with...)

*In the murky depths known as Silicon Valley, the anime writers trudge on, fighting to hold ground with their 2D feet and resist the urge to start epic-proportioned close-range fights while ripping off their shirts. The group traversed down the cliffside that their VW bug had been parked on at the top. Now they were planning to salvage what was left of the wreckage at the bottom. As they were going down, the conversation was anything but merry...*

Phantom: *in Hungarian accent* Oh vell, I see how it is, ya? You like to total vehicles that are crutial to us out-of-shape writers, ya?

Geb: Oh yes, I just take soooo much joy in acting stupid.

Ante: My footsies hurt!

Maybe: Wah wah wah.

Otter: Can't we stop just a bit? *all questions seemed to be addressed to Maybechild now*

Maybe: No.

Ante: But my footsies--

Maybe: Did I say you could talk?

Ante: ...they hurt--

Maybe: TOO BAD! Let's get a move on, you slackers.

Geb: Um...I thought I was the..leader...awww hell.
------------------------------------------
*In the CTF-style Arena(c), our heroes find themselves trying to find which bone is the real Giant Chicken bone that they are suppose to capture. The CTF arena, having been placed on the moon, is also only minutes away from crashing into the Earth. Losien is perhaps the only one concerned about the iminent planetary collision, which is why she is trying to find the nearest church to reconcile for her sins.*

Will our heroes be defeated by the evil DreamTeam, or succumb to a horrible death in mere minutes first, or perhaps even find a way to avoid both? Will our writers-turned-anime be able to turn back to normal and rescue Semievil and all of Massassi from the evil Microsoft/UGO empire? Will these posts ever actually advance the loose plot of this thread? Will CookedHaggis ever start writing? Err...you didn't hear that last one. Um...and in fact, I was never here... *narrator slips out*

~Geb

< Slowly the world fades from black and slowly comes into focus as conciousness floods into Randy..>

Randy: Ohhhhhh... What the heck happened?

< Suddenly the memory of the current situation and the apparent lapse in conciousness comes to light. Looking out of the arena Randy can see the Earth growing larger in his field of vision.>

Randy: This can't be good!

< Randy then remebers that he was near the flag and... >

Randy<now semi-on-his-feet, looking around>: Where is the flag? I know I saw it around here some where...

< Looking across the field reveals Mr. Slick and Sem racing about in circles with foes attached to their ears, Ares standing in the middle of the arena laughing maniacly, Darkside and Antistarr locked in close combat. Meanwhile TotallyEvil and Losien are on the farside of the arena in a cat fight as Morris looks on. They still lies in the crater as before moaning the occasional "owchie". Geb can be seen whispering into Maybe's ear as Krig happily gnaws on a number of giant chicken bones. Randy grabs a particularly shiny chicken bone near his feet...>

Randy: This could come to some...

< Just then a shrill cry comes from behind Randy...>

Farr's Girlfriend: Don't let him get the flag!!!

<With that the mighty deamon lunges at Randy, claws and teeth bared. Randy, out of instinct swings the giant chicken bone like that of a major league baseball player and connects with Farr's chest sending him hurtling back into his girlfriend. She screams...>

Farr's Girlfriend: You broke my nail you big idiot!!!

Farr: Sorry honey-bunny.

< With that Farr's girlfriend grabs Farr by his horns and proceeds to spindle him like playdough >

Farr: Owchie..owww..owww...argh..owch!!!

Randy: Now's my chance...

< Randy, grabbing the flag/bone, turns to run. Just then They begins to recover, seeing Randy, he draws two Uzies and begins to lay down sheet after sheet of burning lead...>

They: DIE!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

<Will Randy escape? What is Geb's All-Star plan to save our heros for the perilous peril that awaits them? Will Krig finish his incesant gnawing? Tune in next time...>

Benevolent
Upward
Mobility
Post!!!
(A message from B.U.M.P. Corporation Ltd.)

------------------
The early bird may get the worm-
but it's the second mouse who gets the cheeze.

Omnia quae specto dominavi, et tantam magnus sum, ut non specto!

im afraid to read this

------------------
may the farce be with you.

*bump*

So he searched the diseased clown and found a tasy mushroom, it looked very tasty, it was purple with white polkadots, i'll explain it from top to bottom (dramatic pause) it is about 2cm tall starting at the first milimiter is a tiny little chip off it resembling north carolina, in the second milimeter there is a little speck of dust, on the third milimeter u will notice the ancient and rare white rhinoceres, on the fourth milimeter your lucky numbers are 6, 5, 4, 7 and 4, on the fifth milimeter your journey will soon come to an end, on the sixth milimeter there are several different species of mushrooms, each 2 mm tall, i will explain all of those afterwards, anyways on the 7th milimeter there is a flipbook that shows a little cartoon containing an invisible man, on the 8th milimeter you will see a portrait of someone made by the clown, on the 10th milimeter, there is a phone, you notice it has 10 lines with 9 lines taken up, if you check line 1 it will be the president, line 2 it will be luke skywalker, line 3 will be yoda, line 4 will be Sarn-Cadrill, line 5 will be a new species of monkey, Line 6 will be your mother's best friend cousin, second uncle twice removed's roomate, line 7 will be your best friend bob, line 8 will be a bunch of people talking about coconuts and finally line 9 will be the massassi templeso anyways back tot he mushroom, the 11th milimeter will contain a mini computer with email, it has 3 emails, the first one says: hi hahehah hoooo so i saw that monkey the other day, and it had a large head, i wonder how many monkeys have large heads, the second email said: the massassi temple is a weird messed up place the third email said: Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Jingle all the way, oh what fun it is to ride on a one horse open sleigh, ohhh jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way, oh what fun it is to ride on a one horse open sleigh, dashing through the snow, on a one horse open sleigh, through the fields we go, laughing all the way hahaha, ok on to the 12th milimeter of the mushroom, the boy who seems to have no name so far sees a message that says, boy who picks his nose, your name how is fredwick, on the 13th milimeter you will notice something that says: your unlucky numbers are: 13 on the fourteenth milimeter you will see something inscribed in german, you make it out as: woo woo wo woo who let the dogs out, woo woo woo woo wo, who let the dogs out, on the fifteenth milimeter there is a little model of the city of new york, you see the empire state building, times square, even the white house, even though that's not in New york, on the sixteenth milimeter you will see a poem that reads:
Hey ho hey ho
I found myself a yo-yo
It goes up and down
On the seventeeth milimeter u see a little dog with no home, so the boy takes it with him as a companion, on the eighteenth milimeter you see a keyboard, it only has these keys: abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz so you can only type letters and stuff get my drift, on the nineteenth milimeter you notice the mushroom texture gets rather rough and finally on the 20th milimeter the mushroom becomes sharp and pointy.

Yes, i was bored ok

(NSP: Ohhhh you're eeevil Cookedhaggis. Waiting to post...And silly RabidPlatypus, your spooky taco-like posting on NeS, hehe. Oh yeah, and since I'm on my spring break now, I'll try to post some actual stuff. Just not now. Prcrastination is like masterbation...I'll let you all try to figure that one out hehe)

~Geb

Procrastination has me in it's evil clutches as well... and I don't really think I want to ponder that statement, Geb...

------------------
"The wicked flee when no man pursueth" --Proverbs 28:1

(NSP: Urgh, Sem is out this week and I'm having trouble thinking of a good post myself. And it has to be a good one. Ermmm, sooo...uh...)

B.U.M.P.
------------------------------
"Procrastination is like masterbation: In the end, you're just screwing yourself" -second-hand source from Semievil333

~Geb

(NSP: I'm postin already! Sheesh! Then you all better! Cuz I'm making darn-tootin' sure that it'll all be easy for you to post again. Er...theoretically anywhos. Here goes nothing...)

In the Arena, our heroes find themselves next to defeat and destruction at the hands of the evil Dream Team. Oh yeah, and near minutes from being annaliated, with the moon the Arena is on, in a planetary collision with Earth. And now, the conclusion of "Darkside and the moon".

Geb: I have a plan!

Maybe: Well what is it already?

Geb: I told you already, remember? The whole "wisper" deal?

Maybe: Oh yeah. If only I knew what "shph-ps-hpshs-phsh" meant...

Geb: Yeah, I guess you would have liked to have heard the actual plan, eh?

Maybe: Oh, just maybe. But take your time, hon! *rolls her eyes*

Geb: Yeah, so anywhos, my plan is that we get the Darkside guy really mad, and then have him pull a classic "Dragonball Z-style jump in the air and launch a huge energy ball into the ground", thus having so much power to cause the moon to stop moving towards Earth and into the opposite direction! Whadda ya think?

Maybe: Yeah, real smart. That move will kill us all, or blow the moon up, and not work at all.

Geb: Oh yeah, good point. Er, on to Plan B then: make it up as we go along.

Maybe: Riiiiiight...
--------------------------------------------
*In the realm of the writers-turned-anime, the writers find themselves standing by the VW Beetle. The writers collectively wonder how they managed to "find" where they were, seeing how they are not drunk at the moment. The writers turn to look at each other, nodded their heads, and each took out their weapons and such from the car. As they beging to trek towards the Microsoft headquarters deep within Silicon Valley, TheOtter tosses a hand grenade behinds himself. The car then, in a Die-Hard fashion, explodes with the equivilance of a small nuclear detonation.*

Otter: A little "Thank you" for the guys back at Rent-a-Car...
--------------------------------------------
*Meanwhile (NeS count: 1,294), back in the Arena...*

Randy: AHHHHHHH!!!!! They're coming after me!

Sem: Who is?

Randy: They!

Sem: They who?

Randy: They they!

Sem: Them? *pointing at the laughing man shooting with Uzis towards them*

Randy: YES! THEY!!!!

Sem: You mean them--

Randy: DUCK YOU IDIOT!

Sem: Duck? Where?

*Randy forces the both of them down as the bullets whiz over their heads.*
--------------------------------------------
*Thanks to the brilliant invention of cutscenes, the writers now "find" themselves at the entrance to the mighty Microsoft/UGO headquarters. The writers enter the lobby much like in "The Matrix", with the ominous men being no match for the anime skills of the writers. The group then proceeds to the elevator, where they wait patiently as it rises to the penthouse level, where Semievil is being held by Bill Gates.*

Phantom: *kicking down the doors, and speaking in a Russian accent* Release our friend, or taste lead, scumbag!

Gates: Oh, look at me! I'm peeing my pants....oh wait, I am peeing my pants.

*A few of hte writers giggle and snicker*

Gates: SILENCE! Or your friend will be no more.

Sem: Hey, how'd you guys know to find me here? And how'd you all know that he was behind the evil that's befallen on Massassi?

Randy: We just stopped in here actually to piss them off. We didn't know that they were--

*Geb jabs Randy in the stomach.*

Geb: --Because we're smooth like that, Sem. And all-powerful! Woo-oo-oo-oo! *waves his hands towards Gates and trying to be spooky*

Gates: Umm...right. You can't possibly be powerful enought o stop me though! START PHASE THREE!

*Red alarms begin to go off in the room.*

Gates: HA! The Zone has been unleashed upon Massassi!

Writers: *in unison* NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!...
------------------------------------------
*In the Arena, Geb and Maybe are searching through the scrap chicken bones from earlier.*

Maybe: ....I found it!

*Maybechild lifts up a giant wishbone.*

Geb: Good for you, you want a medal? Now, take one end, and I'll take another. Then wish and pull apart....ready? Pull!

*The two pull, and Geb gets the bigger half. Instantly, the latest edition of Playboy materializes in front of Geb.*

Maybe: What the hell?

Geb: Well if I only have a few minutes before the end of life here and on earth, I might as well make good use of it.

Maybe: Out of all the things you could have wished for... *sigh*

Geb: What?
-------------------------------------------
*In the realm of the writers...*

writers: ...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!......
-------------------------------------------
*In the Arena...*

Ante: Hey wait! EVERYONE STOP!

*The whole chaos that was teh game of Capture the Giant Chicken Bone stops completely in a cartoon-ish style.*

Ante: Not that I don't believe in free will or anything, but how the hell is anything happening right now? All the great writers that bring the action to our existance aren't writing at the moment, are they?

Krig: Uh-oh...me smell plot hole coming...

Oh my! It's a giant plothole! And it's sucking in everything and everyone! What will happen to our heroes now?
-------------------------------------------
*In the writer's realm...*

writers: ...OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Gates: Ow, my ears... I think I'm going to go change my pants now.

*Bill Gates zips outside the room. The writers all "find" themselves now rather depressed. Losien though had been busy playing with Bill Gate's personal computer: surfing the Internet and crushing her opponents in a game of JediKnight. As Gates had left the room, Losien noticed a little red light that was flashing on the CPU. Her eyes growing unnaturally large with curiosity, she pushed the little red button.*

*And out came a computer being, much like the one that had turned them anime.*

Being: Hello, I am the PC Genie. What do you wish?

*The writers smiled deviously at each other in unison, after which they all wondered how they all managed to do things in unison.*

(NSP: OK, I left this open-ended for all of you, for both the writers and the heroes. I'd suggest wrapping up teh writer's bit first, them moving with something, some theme, for the heroes, so we can get a regular posting-thing going again. Hope the open-end thing isn't too intimidating for you all, I'm just doing this because it's late for me, and I have things to do the next few days. I know you can all do it.)

~Geb

After seeing Losien press the Red Button and the PC Genie came out, Phantom knew what he wanted...

Phantom: "I want the M16 from SS3 Beta Version 9.0 with unlimited ammo!!

------------------
I am the Shadow...

(Geb: Thank you very much for releasing me from the shackles of writers block with your brilliant post. I will not let you down.)

*In the Real World of the Writers...*

PC Genie:"And so you shall have it, Phantom."

*The genies crosses his arms and blinks. An M16 appears in Phantoms hands, looking strangely digitized.*
*All around the world, children playing SS3 suddenly stop.*

Random SS3-playing-kid:"Hey, where the hello did my M16 go?"

Phantom, holding M16 (in German accent):"Vat? Thees gun is merely a digital illusion! Eet can-not hurt anyvone! Poo!"

PC Genie:"You people have one wish left."

Maybe the Writer:"One wish? Don't we get three?"

PC Genie:"I'm sorry, but I am Windows95-based. I do not support the third wish capability."

Otter the Writer:"Ok, I wish for--"

*There is a crack noise, and Otter the Writer slumps to the ground, revealing Krig the Writer still behind him, with his fist still out from smacking Otter on the head.*

Geb:"Thanks, Krig, you've saved us from certain doom. Ok, Genie, I wish that five seconds from now we will be teleported back to our offices, un-animeitized, with our offices fully intact, and with five million in our bank accounts."

PC Genie:"Your wish is my command."

*PC Genie crosses his arms and blinks. Instantly, everyone is back in their offices in the undamaged Massassi Writer's building, fully human again.*

Geb the Writer:"Woohoo, I can see again, without those fishbowl anime eyes!"

Maybe the Writer:"Hey, let's check our bank accounts, we're gonna be rich!"

*Maybe logs into her computer.*

Maybe the Writer:"Aw, crap, we've got five million alright! Five million lira!"

Geb the Writer:"I knew I should have specified!"

Losien the Writer:"Um, guys, you should probably see this..."

*Everyone crowds around Losien's computer, where she has opened the Never Ending Story.*

Losien the Writer:"It seems that while we were gone, the story went out of control... it's all my fault, I'm sorry."

Geb the Writer:"Who has been writing the story while we were gone?"

Sem the Writer (at his own computer):"It appears that, while we were gone, the data file which we store NeS in was corrupted, adding several thousand random characters. It appears that these random characters happened to form a semi-coherant plot..."

Geb the Writer:"Is that possible?"

Sem the Writer:"In an infinity of dimensions, everything is possible, right?"

Maybe the Writer:"I think the real question here is: Can we save this story?"

A dark and impending silence falls upon the writers. Suddenly, they turn to their computers and begin typing feverishly. What will be the result?

--------------------------------------------
*Meanwhile, in the Story Realm...*

Ante:"I sense that a plothole has been narrowly averted, somehow..."

Sem, pointing at the rapidly growing Earth in the sky:"Which still doesn't change the fact that we're all about to die!"

*Everyone stares up at the sky, in a frightened silence.*

Random passerby:"Wait! Look! Up there in the sky! It's a bird--no, it's a plane--no, it's a taco! No, wait, it's Enchilada Man!!!"

*Up in the sky, a tiny glowing dot rapidly expands into the sillouette of Enchilada Man's spacecraft. The tinny voice of Enchilada man echoes out of the spacecraft's loudspeakers.*

Enchilada Man:"Fear not, populace, I have returned briefly to save the world! Please stay calm!"

*Enchilada Man positions his spacecraft directly between the earth and the rapidly closing asteroid that the Arena is on. Suddenly, a rapid-fire barrage of tacos spews from his ship's gun ports. The tacos pummel the asteroid for many minutes, until the asteroid comes to a complete stop.*

All good and evil combatants in the Arena:"Yay!"

What will happen, now that the Arena is in permanent orbit around the Earth? Will the bad guys and the good guys begin to fight? How will this affect the CTGCB game? Tune in next time for the exciting and though provoking continuation of NES!!

------------------
"The wicked flee when no man pursueth" --Proverbs 28:1

(NSP: Enchiladia man! Yey! Er...don't have time to post now, but I will soon. Complete with a less-plot driven theme for your NeS goodness And something for you all to think about: the COCONO triange (also known as the caffinee trinity. It's made up of Coca-Cola, coffee, and No-Doz). Very good philosophy for the writers, no? Hehe)

In today's news, the B.U.M.P. coorperation stocks have dramatically risen in the past few weeks. A steady rise is expected to continue. In other areas of the stock market, the Coca-Cola company stocks have risen, as well as many donut and porno shops. Stocks in Volkswagon as well as Pay-Per-View have gone down. More news following the Microsoft "Phase 3" at eleven...
--------------------------------
"Hey, your mom's pretty hot Bill--"
"Shut up Ted..."
"Remember when I asked your mom to the prom Bill--"
"Shut up Ted!"
--Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventures

~Geb

Phantom suddenly finds himself on an asteriod orbiting earth. A violent game of Capture The Giant Chickenbone is going on in an arena type area on the asteriod. He sees various villians he thought were only part of old wive tales used to scare little children. He saw Darkside, They, Ares Clone. Farr and the other writers looking up into space as a strange looking ship takes off.

Phantom: "The element of surprise."

With that he pulls out an M16, surprisingly like the one he wished for..

Phantom: "Thanks, PC Genie."

Phantom began to open fire on the Evil Dream Team...

------------------
I am the Shadow...

NSP: Don't post yet guys! I've got a real good one comming and it'll be up as soon as I can. Thanks.

------------------
~Geb

Hoard: Dear god! This thread dates back to the days Miss Fire was here?

------------------
Those who stare in the eyes of death and laugh will be the first to go.

This thread dates back to the days of Moses and Aaron; and Geb here has been in it from the start. I think it's time for Dr. Geb to give us a history lesson =D let's see if he can remember it all (cue 2001 music)

------------------
The early bird may get the worm-
but it's the second mouse who gets the cheeze.

Omnia quae specto dominavi, et tantam magnus sum, ut non specto!

The NES Writers: Keeping an ancient legend alive...

(NSP: Hehe, a history lesson? Of what kind? I sorta gave a history back on page...oh I forgot, where it was a story post with "grampa lightside" telling the kids about how NeS started and formed the Interactive Story board and such. But yes, Hoard, this story has been here since nearly the beginning, back when Miss Fire and Galvatron and Enchilada Man posted. How I miss my first generation co-workers. Ah well, I shall now introduce my post which I hope will move NES in a less plot driven and NeS style direction. Think it's bad now, just wait until page 20 or so, when we break the longest thread record. Advertisements galore, start our own religion, conquor Switzerland...er...oops, getting ahead of myself. Here it goes...)

In the fighter's realm, the annailation of Earth and the Arena are barely avoided, thanks to the efforts of Enchilada Man and his taco-spewing turrets. As the Evil Dream Team was being distracted by such a Mexican spectacle, Phantom_Master enters the picture, thanks to the quick-thiking of the writers. Using the gun he wished for from the PC Genie and the element of surprise, he opened fire on the bad guys.

Burby 00: Holy jalapenos! They shot at us!

They: No we didn't...

Burby 00: Not this again...
-----------------
Geb: Woohoo! I'm relieved from teh game now, right coach?

Maybe: You idiot! We're all in this together.

Geb: ohh...

Maybe: Oh crap, who has teh Giant Chicken Bone?

Everyone's eyes simutaneously looked at the center of the arena, where, all by himself, Krig was sitting, examining and licking the Giant Chiken Bone.

Maybe: Krig! Get to the goal zone, now!

Darkside: Get him!

Krig: Uh-oh...

Krig begins to run towards the good guys at their goal, leaving the Chicken Bone where it was.

Maybe: Get the chicken bone!

Hesitantly, Krig dashed back to snatch the Giant Chicken Bone, narrowly avoiding the claws of Morris the Cat. Krig was now running for his dear life, only a foot away from the bad guys.

Losien: Run Krig, run!

Geb: Toss it to me, Krig. I'm open!

Before Maybechild can scream "NO!", Krig throws the bone to Gebohq, who fumbles it. "They" then starts to pull out his uzis, and slowly pulled the trigger. In slow-motion, Geb falls backwards to dodge the bullets, throwing the Chicken Bone aimlessly backwards. Miraculously, TheOtter catches it, and holds it high in the air. As teh bad guys approach though, TheOtter throws it over his head, where Antestarr catches it on the other side. They continue to do this, taunting "monkeys in the middle" until Maybe grabs the Bone from Otter and runs towards the goal herself.

With the timer having only mere seconds now, the bad guys' only hope is that she doesn't make it in time. Obviously, thanks to clocks having a slowing mechanism built in to go off at important times, such as school getting out and the end of games, Maybechild had reached the end of the goal with one second to spare.
-----------------------------------
In the writer's realm, Phantom_Master looks upon his first "official" addition to The Neverending Story Thread with pride. All the other writer's congratulate him on a job well done.

Randy: Woohoo! Er...now what?

Phantom: What do you mean "now what?"

Randy: I mean, what are we going to write next?

The writers grumbled after realizing now that the story would have to continue, unless living in a van down by the river appealed to them.

Geb: I don't think I have the energy for it.

Mase: What we need is a way to keep it going without us having to write...hey, remember when we had the Playstation on, and the story followed with that? Maybe we could do something like that.

Sem: Hey, I've been making a First person Shooter game of my own design on my free time, canabalizing engines and ideas from other games. We could just stick that in, and leave it to its own devices.

Otter: Should we really put our creations through such torture?

Sem: That was back in my early editing days! I do not build such aweful levels as I had with the Sporkus castle. Besides, you got a beter idea.

Otter: ....no. But I do have an idea what we can do?

Maybe: Yeah smart guy, it's called "stopping Microsoft's Phase 3"

Geb: No need to worry about that, Maybe. Look outside.

Outside the window, jets with the words "Massassi Fighters" written on them, zoomed overhead.

Geb: The Zone is no match for the superior multiplayer influence of the Massassi Temple. Besides, what could we do? We know squat about editing.

Sem gives Geb a "what about me?" signal.

Geb: Like I said, we know less than nothing about editing. So anywhos, what was your idea, Otter?

Otter: I think we should all go out to a nightclub. You know, get some dates, go to a fancy dinner, and party the night away.

A murmer of dissaproval eminates from the anti-social group of writers.

Otter: Aw come on! It'll be fun! It's either that, or write for this story.

The writers quickly pull out their black books, ready to call up someone for a date. Geb meanwhile looks lost.

Geb: ...but I don't have anyone I could take for a date.

Mase: Use your right hand. You're already aquainted with each other...

After having arranged who to take as their dates and location to meet at, they headed out of the offices, not before plugging in the custom first-person shooter, which was black and labeled with a skull and crossbones, with the words "Warning!" on it.
---------------------------------------------
Instantly after having won the game of CTGCB, the fighters found themselves materializing out of the Arena and away from their foes. They now found themselves at the entrance of a restaurant called "Geb's B-B-Q Gibs House" Eyeing each other for approval, the group stepped in cautiously. Young girls with tight white shirts sat them down at a table, handed them their menus, and went back to serving the others.

Krig: Krig hungry. Krig don't like food here though...

Randy: Hey! The menus don't have any choices of food here. They sure do look nice though. Ohh, look at the pretty pictures on the side...

Antestarr: Hey guys, this isn't a menu for food. It's a menu for our next challange. There's a single player option, multiplayer option, as well as a configuration option here. This looks like a game menu. And from our surroundings, it appears to be something violent.

Sem: First person shooter. What else would it be?

Mase: So what should we do?

(NSP: OK, I left it open as to whether you want to go with single player (semi-story) or multiplayer (sorta like teh Arena, except more FPS style, not fighter-game style). Everyone should be familiar with some version of a FPS, so feel free to include/make fun of what you know. This would also be a PRIME TIME for CookedHaggis to start writing, as a waiter perhaps, suggesting the singleplayer and offering to join. The writers themselves coudl have situation that parallel those in the fighter's realm, but the main funny situation to come out of that should be the anti-social ascpect as we enter a very social surrounding.)

------------------
~Geb

IN-game Phantom looked at the menu and decided what he wanted.

Phantom: (In French accent)"Waiter, I'll take a Single-player with Impossible moves cheat activated."

Waiter: "But sir, you have not played the game yet. You have to earn that cheat."

Phantom: "I SAID I WILL TAKE A SINGLE-PLAYER WITH IMPOSSIBLE MOVES ACTIVATED!"

*Phantom pulls out his shiny M16 from SS3 and points it at the Waiter.*

Phantom: "Now give me what I ordered."


------------------
I am the Shadow...

The spooky taco is catching up with you

*The waiter does an impossible move and disarms Phantom*

Waiter: "I'm sorry sir, but that option is reserved for regular customers and staff only."

*Phantom sulked, he was excited about the prospect of playing with "big weapons", not least because it opened up the prospect of some not-very-subtle innuendo...*

Waiter: "However, if I could recommend today's special; Single Player in extra crispy mode soaked in a white wine sauce."

*The writers' eyes light up at the mention of alcohol*

Geb: "Sounds alright, but I will never betray my Massassi multiplayer roots!"

Waiter: "Did I mention the special we're doing on coffee? Free fill ups..."

Geb: "Woah, alcohol and cheap coffee, a writer's dream. Throw in a cheap hooker and I'm sold."

*Everyone turns to look at Geb*

Geb: "Fine then, an expensive hooker, geez..."

Phantom: "I want my gun back!"

Waiter: "You will have your firearm returned to you once you leave.
*turns to the others*
So, is it singleplayer all round?"

Geb: *looks quizically at the waiter* "Do I know you?"

Waiter: "I do not believe so sir. I am quite sure I would remember such a...pungent...aroma..."

Geb: "Hey, I've been dragged through multiple universes, several dimensions and saved the world. It's not my fault that the writers haven't seen fit to give me a shower."

Waiter: "Quite. So singleplayer all round?"

Sem: "There's something odd here..."

Geb: "Look, I told you, it's the writers' fault I haven't had a shower!"

Sem: "It's not about you...it's something elsewhere, elusive..."

*Sem looks up at the waiter*

Geb: "I do know you!"

*The waiter tries to make a hasty exit*

Geb: "Krig!"

*Krig grabs the waiter by the shoulder*

Krig: "Kring eat?"

Geb: "No Krig, not until we've established whether or not he's an important plot point..."

*Randy leans over and whispers to Antestarr*

Randy: "Plot?"

(NSP: Well I posted....I'll leave it up to you lot to decide if it's any good or not.)

[This message has been edited by CookedHaggis (edited May 02, 2001).]

[This message has been edited by CookedHaggis (edited May 07, 2001).]

At the mention of the word 'plot' there is an ominous flushing sound.

------------------
The early bird may get the worm-
but it's the second mouse who gets the cheeze.

Omnia quae specto dominavi, et tantam magnus sum, ut non specto!

then the never ending story ended.
PS. i sued the makes of those movies for false advertising.

------------------
666. The number of the beast. 665. The neighbor of the beast. 673. Lives down the street from the beast.
-No Margarita, we didn't have any officers.
You can smell the mouth in my liquor!?!

(NSP: Good post CokkedHaggis, just the right style in my opinion. Though I don't think Krig will be happy that you spelled his name wrong continuously, hehe. I was hoping some more would post before I posted again, but oh well. Here's a quick one.)

Inside Geb's B-B-Q Gib's House, Krig dragged the suspiciously familiar waiter by the collar with the others towards the counter. Gebohq pushed asides the line of people by the counter and slapped his hand on the counter to get the attention of the person behind it.

Geb: We want the Singleplayer option. Now.

Guy behind counter: Er..sorry sir. You have to wait until your number is called--

Geb called out for Krig, and Krig dragged the waiter for the guy to see. Geb made a slitting action across his neck to imply what would happen to the waiter if they didn't meet his demands. The guy behind the counter sighed as if this was a regular occurance, and the fighters waited five minutes while the guy behind the counter talked to the manager.

Guy behind counter: OK sir, I need to know how many people are in your party.

Otter: Party? Where?

Maybe: Not that kind of party. Sheesh.

Geb: Uh... *turns around and begins pointing at each of the fighters* One, two, three, four...

Waiter: It's the co-op special, Guy behind the counter.

Guy behind the counter: OK then, step right this way then.

The fighters, with Krig dragging the waiter, followed the guy behind the counter behind the counter and through the door. The group stood in a dark room with a teleporter, and the guy began handing them out pistol-like weapons.

Guy, now in teleporter room: You are all being given your massively useless laser pistols. Your appetizers will include light enemies, some easy-to-solve puzzles, and some better weapons coviniently placed about. Your main dish will include a astronomical number of bad guys that are hard to kill, puzzles that are near-impossible, more weapons too big to be practical in real life, and some really big bosses. And if you live dessert will be a bonus level. You'll have the pleasure of having your gibs barbeque-style with the wonderful scenery such as maze-like space stations, maze-like scientific facilities, maze-like alien dimensions, and finally, maze-like depths of Hell.

Krig: Krig not hungry anymore...

Ante: Yeah, I want a refund.

Waiter: Sorry, no refunds accepted. And being dragged into this, I wish we did.

Guy: Have a nice day then.

Before any of the others could escape, the guy closed the door behind him and locked it. A sector thrust violently pulled them into the teleporter, and into the unknown.
----------------------------------------
Elsewhere ("Meanwwhile" was calling in for a sick day), the writers all had their dates (Masemann with MaybeChild, Otter with Losien, Antestarr with the local supermodel/secret agent, Randy with Miss Fire who was there for the night, and Geb with his right hand. The others decided to go stag for their seperate reasons. Their first place for the night: The Outback (how romantic)...

Who is this suspiciously familiar writer? Will our heroes survive their dinner, or will their dinner eat them? Will the writers be able to conquor their anti-socialness in such a social night? With dates? Tune in next time to find out, right here. As if you might actually find the next post at some other thread, like "The Spooky taco" or something. Bah. They don't even have a cool narrator like I. You all know it: I'm the reason this thread is so popular. Don't deny it. The women can't resist me...
---------------------------

~Geb

Hey! I'm not finished yet! Come back here...

NSP: Hm...perhaps posting something big for all of us to write was placed at a bad time, seeing how it IS near teh end of the school year, and for some of us, graduation just around the corner (yay). I meant to include this in the last post, btu I forgot, so this gets it's own post, hehe.

(to the tune of "Chili's Baby back rib's" song)

I want my wo-men-and-co-caine-and-free-beer...Geh-bahhhhhq's, Ge-bohq's fresh gibs! Oh yeah!

Hope it all get's stuck in your head with teh rest of those annoying songs that uh...get stuck in your head. Mwa-ha, mwa-ha, mwa-ha-ha.

------------------
~Geb

(I thank God I don't know the tune of "Chili's Baby Back Ribs". Thank you, God. Um... I should write something, but my brain won't let me.)



------------------
"The wicked flee when no man pursueth" --Proverbs 28:1

(NSP: Can't think of anything to write at the moment, so I'll just put it back up to the top and hope someone else is feeling a bit more inspired...)

*A flash of light blazes, then fades away. Krig the Viking falls out of the air and lands face first onto the muddy ground. After laying there for a moment, Krig gets to his feet, looking around squintily.*

Krig:"Grrrrrrrrrrr....."

*The world around Krig is incredibly detailed, moreso than real life. A too-real sky filled with dark, low haning clouds whistles by overhead, while in the distance very realistic trees stand still. The mud beneath Krig's feet looks very realistic, yet when Krig takes a step, he does not sink in. Upon closer inspection, the mud appears to be painted onto a flat surface.*

Krig:"Krig think Krig in video game. That explain why Krig's hair is all polygons..."

*Suddenly, another flash of light--flashes, and a man composed entirely of polygons appears out of mid-air. He wears a black bowler hat and various other black articles of clothing. He lands face first on the ground, then leaps to his feet.*

Krig:"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

TheOtter:"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! Oh, Krig, it's you! Man, you look different when you're all digitized."

Krig:"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

*Suddenly, several more flashes of light resound, and the rest of our party of heroes fall flat on their faces on top of the digital mud.*

Krig & Otter:"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

Other Good Guys:"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

Zombie:"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

All Good Guys (turning towards zombie):"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!"

*All of our heroes draw their massively useless laser pistols out of thin air (where all video game weapons are holstered), and blast the zombie with many, many bolts of light.*

Everybody:"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

*The billowing smoke kicked up by the laser fire slowly is slowly blown away by the virtual wind to reveal... the zombie still standing, a laser in its hand, surrounded by the bodies of our heroes.*

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! Is this the end of our heroes? How could this be? We'll return to the NeverEnding Story.... right now!

*A message flashes in the air for a moment: RESTARTING LEVEL...*

*A flash of light blazes, then fades away. Krig the Viking falls out of the air and lands face first onto the muddy ground. After laying there for a moment, Krig gets to his feet, looking around squintily.*

Krig:"Grrrrrrrrrrr....."



------------------
"The wicked flee when no man pursueth" --Proverbs 28:1

*The world around Krig is incredibly detailed, moreso than real life. A too-real sky filled with dark, low haning clouds whistles by overhead, while in the distance very realistic trees stand still. The mud beneath Krig's feet looks.....

Audience: "We've done this bit!"

*Suddenly, another flash of light--flashes, and a man composed entirely of polygons appears out of mid-air. He wears a black bowler hat and various other black articles of clothing. He lands face first on the ground, then leaps to his feet.*

Krig:"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

TheOtter: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! Oh, Krig, it's you! Again..."

*Suddenly, several more flashes of light resound, and the rest of our party of heroes fall flat on their faces on top of the digital mud.*

Sem: "Does anyone else sense a really cheap ploy to reuse stuff that's been written before?"

Geb: "I don't sense anything."

Ante: "Woah, deja-vu."

Geb: "Deja-vu is caused by a glitch in the..."

Sem: "Shut up."

Krig: "Krig kill Zombie."

Geb: "Which zombie?"

Everyone else: "Umm, the one that's standing behind you with a laser gun in one hand."

Geb: "Oh that zombie. I thought you meant the one standing behind you lot which also has a laser gun in its hand..."

Sem: "Duck!"

Waiter: "Where?"

Sem: *sigh*

*An arm pulls the waiter to the realistically textured mud, just as the two zombies shoot. The bolts fly over our crouching hereos and smash into the two zombies- who coincidently were standing exactly opposite each other*

Ante: "Hands up who didn't see that one coming..."

Otter: Where the hell are we?

Phantom: *in southern accent* Well, der's sum mud, sum darn creppy clouds ah-buv us. Ai'd say, um... that I haven't got a darn-pickin' clue.

Geb: That was real helpful.

Ante: It's not important where we are, but how to move on. You, waiter guy. What's your name, anyways?

Waiter: Uh...

Maybe: We'll start to call you "Cooked" if you don't help us soon.

Waiter: Fine, if you walk through that wall there, you'll find a rocket launcher for you all to use.

Geb begins to walk towards the wall the waiter pointed towards, and promptly smacks into solid rock.

Waiter: Er...a little to the left.

Geb: Owie....

(NSP: IF this be alright with you Mr. Cooked. Otherwise, feel free to correct.)

------------------
~Geb

(NSP: Fine by me. Though I have to say I'm rather worried as to how you lot'll treat the new guy )

i sued the makers of The Never Ending Story for false advertising.

------------------
666. The number of the beast. 665. The neighbor of the beast. 673. Lives down the street from the beast.
THE SKY IS FALLING! THE SKY IS FALL- SPLAT!
Guns dont kill people... o wait, they do.

(NSP: Well, I promised Geb I'd post, so here I am. See, I can catch up. Really. Just because I had a social life at school doesn't mean I'll have one to soak up my time now that I'm back home...)

*Peering through a crevace in the rock, the crew saw something catching the light. Aside from the army of men, 100-150, each holding two large black bombs, an object approximately 20 feet long and 5 feet wide sat on a pedestal approximately 5 feet long and 2 feet wide.*

Sem: Now I know what you meant when you said "a rocket launcher for all of us to use."

Geb: Any clues what those guys are?

Ante: Hmm... must be Kamikazes... nasty guys. They seem to attack in droves. I ran into them back in my Serious Sam days...

Maybe *smacking Ante upside the head*: This is no time for a flashback. Waiter, why would we need such a large rocked launcher?

Waiter: Why, to gain entry to the Fortress of Forbidden... uh... Forbiddenness TM.

*Suddenly one of the Kamikazes grunts, acknowledging the presence of intruders. The drove starts to amble towards them, and soon works its way into an all out sprint.*

Maybe: Ok, now what do we do.

Ante *taking Maybe's semi-useless laser pistol*: Here, gimme that, and you others, follow my lead.

*Ante starts sliding down the conveniently sloped rock face towards the oncoming mass, gun in each hand, shooting anything that moved below him.*

Kamikazes: RAAAAAGH!!!!

Ante: RAAAAAGH, yourself!

(NSP: Thanks Ante, now I'll have to bother the other writers who have been slacking off. *random person: Or having a social life/working hard on something important!* Same difference. Anywhos, onward!)

Will Antestarr live through his suicide run? Will the writers ever go on with their dates? Will--what do you mean I'm too late? ...Well, why can't I have my own post? ...Hey! Don't make me resort to empty threats! Grr...

------------------
~Geb

B.U.M.P.

---------------------
~Geb

CHEAP! That was a cheap post! We should fire the writers! Oh yeah, they don't get paid...

*As Ante closes his eyes thinking he was gonna die, Phantom runs up and grabs Geb's laser pistol and begins to shoot the bombs the kamikazee drones are holding.*

Phantom: (In stormtrooper accent)"DIE KAMIKAZEE SCUM!!"

*All the explosions cause extreme lag as everyone rushes for the Rocket Launcher.*

"Who will get the rocket launcher? Will Gebohq get his pistol back? Tune in next time for the Neverending Story Thread!"


------------------
I am the Shadow...
The Jedi's Saber

Mase: Stupid....lag-is...making...this-not-fun.

Sem: Makes me happy that I'm an LPB

Geb: Daaaamn! Won't the explosions ever stop? How are we ever going to make it over to the RPG launcher?

The waiter began to whistle innocently as he stepped behind Gebohq, who was standing behind the others. Raising his foot, the waiter pushed Gebohq foreward, and in a domino effect, pushed everyone over and rolling into a giant ball of fighters. Oddly enough, the ball of fighters bounced from explosion to explosion like a beach ball. The fighters then fell not-so-gratefully one-by-one by the RPG launcher.

Ante: Well, that was one way...

Otter: And rather pointless now, seeing how the explosions finally stopped.

Geb: *starting to grab for the giant RPG launcher* The waiter will be cooked...

Losien: Bad Geb! Bad bad Geb! Don't do that to the nice waiter-man.

waiter: *now conviently by the others* I'd rather be called cooked than be so.

Phantom: *french accent* Oui, I was getting sick of calling you "garcon" anyways...

Cooked: Um, riiiight. Anywhos, if you all pick up the huge rocket launcher, and aim it over there towards the Forbidden Fortress of Forbideness tm, we can move on.

Geb: And then what?

Cooked: What do you mean 'then what?' It's just the next part, OK? I don't know what's going on, I just work here.

The fighters appearances change momentarily to live action with bad acting as they, without control over themselves, used teh huge Rocket Launcher to blow the huge gate that lead inside the fortress. Anxious to knwo what would happen next, the group ran towards the fortress.

Randy: I wonder if teh fact that I'm the only one with a military rank in this group means anything in a singleplayer level liek this...
-------------------------------------------
In the realm of the storywriters...

waiter: More caviar? Or some more wine perhaps?

Geb: *whispering to his right hand* Why do I feel like I know the waiter...

Mase: *to maybe* Well this isn't too bad after all.

Maybe: Yeah, I wonder where Ante and his date went though?

Mase: Do we really want to know?

Maybe: Good point. Excuse me...

As Maybechild gets up from her seat, she motions to the other female dates. They get up as well and follow her to the bathroom.

Phantom: *in hungarian accent* Vomen...you think they're off to scheme secret plans or something.

Sem: Think? What's there to think about?

Otter: Don't be ridiculous, Sem.

Antestarr then steps towards the table, his tie loosened and his hair messy.

Ante: I can't believe it? She told me she had to go to teh bathroom, and that afterwards we should go back to dinner.

All the guys at the table look at each other, then look around to realize that they couldn't see any women around.

Geb: Screw the wine, waiter, I think we all need a round of whiskey now. What's your name again?

waiter: Uh...got to go, I'll be back with your drinks.

Geb: Hmm...I think I'll go with the...gibs? Must be a typo...

<NSP: It's me again, looong time no type people. Anyway, let's see if I've lost my touch shall we?>

In Game:
------------------
< Our heroes bravely move on to the Forbidden Fortress of Forbideness (tm) amazingly eluding soldiers and dispersed pods of kamakazies while dragging the titanic rocket launcher...>

Maybe: Geting to this base is the fairly easy considering we have this big RPG launcher with us.

<Camera pans to the back of the party...>

Randy: Huff...puff... Why..<gasp>..am I...the...<wheeze> the one...carrying...this...<unnnngggghhhh>...th..th..THING!!!

Geb: Because 1) Your a rookie writer...

Randy:<gasp>...so..is..Masetto!

Sem: 2) You have "Military Rank and Training"...

Randy:...ssssooo...What!!

Maybe: 3) Losien and I can't carry it or we might break a nail.

Randy:...<huff>..Wear...gloves!

Sem: and 4) Do you REALLY want Krig carrying a weapon of mass destruction?

<Camera pans to Krig, who is in the process of trying to catch his tongue as he sticks it out of his mouth.>

Krig: Krig no catch tongue...need...<mpthhhtt>...help!

Randy: Point....

<Just then Ante spies an enemy armor formation through the trees several meters ahead.>

Ante: I bet we could get some semi-useful gear if we blasted the heck outta that tank.

Randy: I've got it...<heave..unnnggghhhh>...

Waiter: NO WAIT!!!

Randy: FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!

<The waiter dives for cover as our heroes, save Randy, scurry to the sides of the digitized trail as Randy sqeezes the trigger on the polygonal weapon. It produces a brilliant flash as a huge, fiery projectile hurtles from the BACK of the weapon into the distance.>

Waiter(yelling over the overpowering roar): IT'S BACKWARDS YOU IDIOT!!!

All(also yelling): WHAT?!?

Waiter: WHAT?!?!?

< The roar subsides... >

Waiter: I SAID IT'S BACKWARDS, BACKWARDS YOU IMBICILE!!!!

Randy: Great, you just gave away our position.

Waiter: Grrrr.....

< With a whistling noise the missile spirals off into the distance and successfully detonates completly aniahlating an entire mountainside. >

All the guys: l33333t!!!

Maybe: Uhh...guys???

< Will our heroes defeat this perilous peril? Will the males in the party overcome the sudden rush of testosterone? What of the anti-social-writers-at-the-restraunt?? Tune in next time, same NSP time, same NSP channel...>