um, you're forgetting that the undead carry heat seaking, napalm loaded, rocket launchers. A crowd of over 100 undead soldiers all pull out their weapons, take aim at Arbiter, and fire.

Arbiter's eyes get bigger as he watches over a hundred rocket propelled grenades start to home in on his position.

------------------
Good pitching can always stop good hitting and vice versa.
- Yogi Berra?

*Arbiter, moving faster than anyone's eyes can track, avoids all the rocket propelled grenades. Arbiter ignites his duel-saber, a soul-piercing fiery blue, and makes short work of all attacking undead*

Arbiter: Sure helps to be A Super Saiyen Sith Lord when you're dealing with those undead.

*Arbiter extends his hand again, and again a blue-white beam engulfs his attackers. All are instantly vaporized*

Arbiter: Be this a lesson to all that would oppose me.

[This message has been edited by Arbiter (edited November 20, 1999).]

unfortunately for him, one of the RPG's that was originally tracking him goes off course and hits the ceiling. A big, 200 pound ceiling tile falls 300 feet and hits him on the head.

*the ceiling tile APPEARS to hit Arbiter on the head, but, in fact, Arbiter was far away when the ceiling tile hit*

Arbiter: Since when do RPG's track?

*Arbiter focuses his mind. He dismantles and destroys all RPG launchers. No exceptions*

Arb: That should prevent any further ceiling damage or possible damage to myself.

*Arbiter takes off at tremendous speed. He speeds around the ring, lopping off the heads of the undead*

Arbiter: Any other smart stuff you wanna try?

*Arbiter flicks off his duel saber, flicks his wrist, turning the saber around once, and reattaches it to his belt hook*

[This message has been edited by Arbiter (edited November 20, 1999).]

--------------NON STORY REPLY--------------
RobX:hhmppp will ares ever contune this??? Geb i think that u should enter the fight to keep it up.


--------------STORY REPLY--------------
Morris the cat: hmmp where is robert, he said he would feed me when he got home but hes been gone for days.

*morris sees a blueish swirl before him, with nothing better to do he walks into it.

Morris falls on Geb's head.

Geb: What the hell??? who let this fat hamster in???

Morris: Im not a hamster you fool, i am MORRIS THE SUPER EDITING WEB KITTY

Geb:Yeah whatever but you sure are fat.

Morris:tell me something i dont know, now wheres the food.

*morris snifs around and sees twin suns nachos and walks towards them.

Twin Suns:Awwwww crap, scat scat scat kitty.

Morris: shut yo mouth foo. these are my nachos now, now go away before i poo in your sneakers

Twin Suns walks away while Morris watches his owner RobX fighting Ares.

{ok ares get off your ass and contune this}



------------------
Next Wave Gaming
There is no off position on the genius switch.

(I've got it! I know how to keep the story fresh!)

Ares: "I grow weak. Let's spice things up a bit."

*Ares then turnes the fighting ring to apply to the rules of Tekken Tag Tournament!*

Ares: "I tag Geb!"

*Ares flips out of the ring and into the bleachers where Gebohq takes his place. His stance is much like Lei Wulong's.*

Geb: "Alright! I love that game!"

*will Rob decide to continue fighting or tag someone in for his place?(waves hand in front of Rob X's face)You WANT to tag in Arbiter...*

------------------
"The difference between insanity and genius is sucess."

])}Gebohq{([

Bored from the lack of action -- and there being a break from the fight anyway -- Miss Fire desides to get up and take a visit to the snack bar.

*looks through the myriad of choices*

Miss Fire: 98 different things in the snack bar and not one of them looks any good! Oh well.

*walks back to the bleachers and takes her seat, pulling out a magazine entitled Jedi Today*

Miss Fire: I'll just kill time until something happens. ooo! Tips for making your lightsaber brighter while remaining environmentally friendly!

those are heat seeking, napalm loaded, RPG's. They track, then burn what they hit.

The only design flaw with them is when the first one explodes, all the others loose sight of their targets and aim themselves towards the burning explosion.

*Points up towards the ceiling*

Like that

The 99 other RPG's all slam into the domed ceiling, causing a massive explosion that rocks the building. Ceiling tiles and burning napalm fall towards the spectators watching the fight below. Arbiter waves his hand, and a force field comes up between the napalm and the bleachers. The ceiling tiles smash themselves onto the force field with a thunderous noise, permently damaging the ears of everone in the room. Arbiter gets an annoyed look on his face and looks at the decipated undead soldiers.

Arbiter: "I said DON'T TRY ANYTHING!"

------------------
Good pitching can always stop good hitting and vice versa.
- Yogi Berra?

*A man with a sombrero on his head and holding a large bag on his side enters from the top of the bleachers and starts singing*

Enchilada Man: Enchiladas! Nice and Hot! Enchiladas! I got I got!

*Miss Fire puts down her lightsaber manuel and waves frantically at him and he slides down the rail to her, all the while still singing*

Enchilada Man: I've got an enchilada that's absolutely "bleh!" You want an enchilada that's positively "yeeeach?" Only a peso for chili con queso on the top of it. Hurry up and buy some "enchilada-yum-yums" then my song will quit.

*Miss Fire immediately hands him some money and takes several enchiladas, not just for the sake of the food, but also to shut him up. They both sit back down. Fire chews on her enchilada and pulls back out her magazine.*


[This message has been edited by Enchilada_Man (edited November 22, 1999).]

RobX looks around for someone to tag but no one has the power to face Geb.

RobX takes the classic stance of Jin Katazua.

Geb launches his first attack with a deep foward jump followed by a roundhouse sweep.

RobX countered with a heel kick to gebs head.

Staggering backwards Geb falls into a pit filled with snakes.

Using his force powers Geb jumps out of the hole and launches a fury of fists towards RobX. Geb focused his attacks towards RobX's midsection so a simple sweep was all it took to get Geb down on the ground.

RobX leaped high into the air and pulled a piece of debris and dropped it on Gebs stomach.

Geb:mommy....**

------------------
Next Wave Gaming
There is no off position on the genius switch.

*As Gebohq is getting beaten by Rob X, he thinks to himself how rusty he had gotten.*

Geb: "Mommy!"

*As soon as the words were uttered, Geb's mom stepped into the arena! She looked like what a mother of that species would look like, except unlike Gebohq, she wore an apron and had a clump of white hair on the top of her head. She walked to Rob X waving her dough roller.*

Geb's mom: "What are you doing picking on my son! You should be ashamed of yourself, starting fights. You big bully..."

*Rob X was powerless against such a person. All he could do was tune it out and reply as best as he could.*

Rob X: "...Yes Geb's mom...I'm sorry Geb's mom...your right, I shouldn't of done that..."

*But as the onslaught of words came on from Geb's mother, even Gebohq was starting to get annoyed.*

Geb: "Awww maw! We were just playing around."

*now Geb's mom was turned to Gebohq.*

Geb's mom: "You know better young man than to get into a fight. I raised you up to be a good boy."

Geb: "Help!"

*Rob X then kicks Geb's mom promptly out of the arena.*

Rob X: "I'm sorry, but she was getting on my nerves."

Gebohq: "Life goes on."

*Gebohq then falls to the ground and kicks Rob X into the air, then executes a roundhouse kick as he falls. Rob X retaliates with some really neat looking kicks, but Gebohq grabs his leg in mid-kick and twists it, making him fall again.*

Rob X: "Hey! Lei can't do that!"

Gebohq: (with a smirk on his face)"But I'm not Lei, am I?"

*Gebohq and Rob X continue to fight, the crowd being all too bored now by all such talk.*

*Back at the bleachers, Miss Fire is enjoying her enchiladas, but now is getting thirsty. She leans over to Enchilada Man.*

Miss Fire: Youch! This stuff is spicy! What kind of sauce do you use?
Enchilada Man: Fire sauce! Want some lemonade?
Miss Fire: Please.

*Enchilada Man runs over to Galvatron on the bleachers.*

Enchilada Man: You got lemonade in there?

*Galv opens up his chest which reveals a line of fountain drinks. He punches the one marked "Lemonade," and starts pouring some in a cup*

Galv: Sure do! Hey, that tickles!

*Enchilada pays him for two drinks and heads back towards Miss Fire.*


[This message has been edited by Enchilada_Man (edited November 22, 1999).]

[This message has been edited by Enchilada_Man (edited November 22, 1999).]

*On his way back, Enchilada Man bumps into a man in a lawn chair, who is also watching the fight.*



*He immediately recognizes him as Bob Hope, his favorite actor. Maybe it was the chin he recognized, or the nose, or perhaps the fact that BOB HOPE was written in huge lettering on the lawn chair.*

*Anyway, Enchilada Man got exited*

Enchilada Man: May I have your autograph, Mr. Hope?

Bob Hope: Sorry, I'm late for a meeting.

*He immediately gets up, takes his chair and leaves the building. Enchilada Man watches the car drive off.*

Enchilada Man: Oh, well. to Miss Fire: Here's your lemonade.

Miss Fire: Thanks.

*They both sit back down and continue watching the fight, which has really picked up.*

------------------
Enchiladas! Nice and Hot!
Enchiladas- I got I got!

[This message has been edited by Enchilada_Man (edited November 24, 1999).]

double post

[This message has been edited by Enchilada_Man (edited November 22, 1999).]

*Twin Suns walks out from under the bleachers with a large smile on his face, as he walks away you can hear an almost unaudible "meowing" sound*

Twin Suns: That takes care of that

*He looks into the arena at the new fight in progress*

Twin Suns: Interesting....

*He sees Miss Fire alone in the bleachers and walks over*

Twin Suns: Enjoying the fight?

Fire: *glances up blankly* Oh the fight... yes... It's good.... and you are?

Twin Suns: Twin Suns' the name

*Looks over at Galv and the the enchilada man*

Twin: Hey it looks like that guy is.... O MY GOD!!!

*All the fighters glance over at Galv and the Enchilada man, the only sound that is heard is the trickling of the liquid into the cup*

Ares: What the hell do you think this place is a giant urinal?

Galv: *Realizes the akwardness of the situation* O God sorry guys, it's just lemonade see *drinks some* O Shit I forgot I part machine!!

*Galv starts sparking and emiting strange noises from within, and suddenly his head shots off and falls into the pit of snakes*

Galv: Snakes.... I hate snakes....



[This message has been edited by Twin Suns (edited November 22, 1999).]

*Galvatron turns off the lemonade, and the spicket returns to the inside of his chest. Enchilada Man looks around a second, feeling akward (sp?) standing in front of a headless body that is still much alive.*

Enchilada Man: Uh, can I get you anything? A drink? A, uh, screwdriver? Sheesh, I feel like I'm in an Inspector Gadget show here.

*The arm of Galvatron pulls open his chest and punches a couple of buttons, then his hand falls off.*

Galv(from down in the pit): Drat! Wrong button. Hey, Amigo, gimme a hand here.

*Enchilada Man picks up Galv's hand and screws it back on. the hand punches some more buttons, and the chest closes and his shoulders open up, spraying a large amount of powder in the pit. The snakes die instantly, and Galv's arm extends down the pit, picks up the head, zooming up at lightning speed, the head pops back on the neck, and screws back on.*

Enchilada Man: I knew you'd get your head on straight sooner or later.

*Enchilada Man takes some more lemonade and sits back down beside Miss Fire.*

------------------
Enchiladas! Nice and Hot!
Enchiladas- I got I got!

RobX tags Enchilada_Man.

RobX: Its your turn to fight wether you want to or not... heh heh heh.

------------------
Next Wave Gaming
holding up an onion ring he proclaimed, "Look sir, droids!"

*Enchilada Man gets up out of his seat, mumbling.*

Enchilada Man: "It's so hard to run with this sombrero on my head!"

*He walks out into the area slowly, and thinks to himself:*

what am I doing out here?! I'm no jedi! I just came here to sell some enchiladas!

*Then it hits him! his enchilada bag! He runs around in tight circles around in the arena. Everyone just watches with contorted expressions on their faces. Enchilada Man pulls out an enchilada and throws it up high. It lands with a splat. He continues in this manner, but now he's throwing them at everyone!*

Enchilada Man: yeeeeha!

*An enchilada hits Rob X square in the chest, making him fall backwards onto an enchilada already on the ground and sliding to the other side of the rink. Enchilada Man tags him*

Enchialda Man: Tag!

*Enchilada Man runs off to his spaceship "El-Taco-Grande" (which looks like a giant taco) and hops past his body guards and into the hatch. His body guards follow him in and close the doors.*

Enchilada Man: I've had a wonderful time, but I've got to go.

*He winks to Miss Fire. She holds up an enchilada in one hand and winks back, giving him a thumbs-up with the other hand. He takes a picture, and uses it for his enchilada web site. His spaceship blasts off to the planet Espa-nol, where he came from.*

the fight now continues!

------------------
Enchiladas! Nice and Hot!
Enchiladas- I got I got!

[This message has been edited by Enchilada_Man (edited November 24, 1999).]

*arbiter looks at the departing ship*
Arbiter: ooooook. That was strange.

*arbiter looks at Robx and Geb and shrugs*

Arbiter: Looks like I'm in. Have at you, nave!

Geb: Nave!?! I'm shocked! and i thought you were a nice Sith dude.

*arbiter shrugs again and runs toward geb*

[This message has been edited by Arbiter (edited November 24, 1999).]

You don't want to know where the Ice Cream comes from....

*As Arbiter runs for Geb, Rob X stops them with a yell...*

Rob X: Hey! wait a minute guys! The Taco-Dude tagged me! me! me! I'm "it" now.

*The others shrug, and Rob X starts chasing them. They all run around the whole building while desparately trying to avoid stepping in the slippery enchiladas that the mysterious salesman left, as well as trying to avoid bumping into the old janitor that is cleaning up all the spilt food.*

man a person gets a cold and is away for a while and look what happens.

RobX tags Arbiter.

RobX pulls out his Panasonic Cd player with 40 sec anti shock protection.

RobX watches the fight...


------------------
Next Wave Gaming
holding up an onion ring he proclaimed, "Look sir, droids!"

Arbiter, now with the chance to finally fight, decides to incorperate yet another element in the fight: the fighting style of the Matrix!

Arbiter: "I will enjoy watching you die Mr. G."

Gebohq: "The name is Geb!"

They begin to fight. While fighting, the speed at which they fought often slowed down for them, each of their punches and kicks were nicely coreographed, and the two continued ripping off lines from the movie.

They eventually grew tired of that and started pulling referances to Terminator, Predator, Monty Python. The list of ripoffs grew until at last all the companies in charge of the movies came to threaten them.

Gebohq: "Awww crap! We're gonna be sued!"

Arbiter: "Wait! No need to fear! Jonny Cochrane will be here!"

He then proceeds to prepare for a painful court session.

*the CEOs of the film companies close in on arbiter and geb. Arbiter holds out his fist and extends his index finger. A small whtie beam shoots from the finger and hitd the ground near the CEOs. They freeze*

Arbiter: I do not think you want to do that.<waves his hand in Jedi fashion> You will drop all charges and walk away.

CEOs: We have dropped all chrages and you may proceed with your fight. Sorry to have bothered you.

*With that, the CEOs walk away and are never heard from again. Arbiter turns back to Geb, and flicks on his saber*

Arbiter: Have at you!

*Arbiter runs forward, jumps, and comes down with a vicious cross-slash. Gebohq jsut barely gets his saber up in time to deflct the slash. Geb sees this will be a hard fight*

*While Gebohq and Arbiter duke it out, the audience now sees a TV with cool camera angles of the fight.*

voice from TV: "It's the battle of the century! Gebohq vs. Arbiter! And you can see it right now only on Pay-per-view! Only $9.95, on refunds accepted."

*Meanwhile, Gebohq continues to barely block Arbiter's attacks. But Geb finds it hard to keep this up as Arbiter swings from above, then from the left, then from the right, swings in a circle as he ducks and attacks from the right again. Arbiter then scathes Gebohq's right shoulder. Gebohq falls in pain, Arbiter points his saber at Geb's neck.*

Arbiter: "All too easy."

*Gebohq then pushes Arbiter's lightsaber away with his own, rolls to his side, gets up and swings at Arbiter's legs, which caught him by surprise. Arbiter managed to block it though and the fight went on. Gebohq hopes someone will be willing to fight Arbiter soon, for he had already fought two others and he was growing tired.*

*Meanwhile, on the bleachers...*

Rob X: "Is it just me or is it hot in here" *Rob was trying to make a joke about Miss Fire, a bad one at that.*

Galvatron: "Well we are in the middle of a volcano." *He points at the arena, noting the lava pits surrounding the arena.* Could someone do something about the air conditioning?"

Rob X: "I didn't mean that...awww forget it."

oh geez man, talk about your corny lines. *sigh*

RobX pulls out an a/c and puts it on high.

RobX mumbles to himself...ill get you back for that geb...

------------------
Next Wave Gaming
RobX no function beer well without

*Meanwhile, more than a month has passed in the Sol system, where the New Republic and Imperial forces have stopped in mid-battle to wait for the conclusion of Ares' challange to all bad writers. Onboard the Chimera, the Grand Admiral Thrawn is growing impatient...*

Thrawn: "It's been over a month since Ares has made us stop this battle for his own pleasure! I want to get on with this battle already so I can move on with more important things..."

#1 officer: "But there's something more, isn't there?"

Thrawn: "Well...I'm just not feeling as loved as I was before. I(sniff)...I want to be involved. They don't write about us anymore! I FEEL SO UNLOVED!"*starts crying on officer's soldier*

Officer: "There there...just let it all out..."
--------------------------------------------
*On the planet Earth on a little place known as Drazen Isle, Galvatron is watching the fight on Pay-per-view, surrounded by beautiful anime women.*

Galvatron: "ahhhh....much better than the hot bleachers. Sailor Mercury!"

Sailor Mercury: "Yes my master?"

Galv: "Bend over so I can see....see you better."

*She precedes to do as he asked.*

Galv: "definately better than the bleachers..."

*Meanwhile, in a warehouse just outside of the solar system...*

Mysterious voice: I don't care how you do it so long as his...

*Owner of mysterious voice catches flying bag of popcorn*

Mysterious voice: What in the name of all that is sacred is a bag of popcorn doing flying into my abandoned warehouse?

*A rather large mob of small slime creatures proceeds to burst through the door*

Mysterious voice: Great, just when my plans were about to come to fruition, some bozo sends the evil slimey thingies after me. I, Antestarr, shall proceed to vanquish these slimes and find the ones responsible for such sacrelige!

*Antestarr grabs what has to be one of the largest salt shakers ever seen by mortals*

Antestarr: Okay, who wants to sizzle?

------------------
~Antestarr

*Gebohq and Arbiter continue to fight to the death, the crowd in the bleachers now screaming very loud at each attack the fighters made. Arbiter's attacks were very planned out, swinging slowly, but more heavily at Gebohq. Gebohq knew that he would have to be more wary than usual to be able to predict his opponents attacks. Up in the bleachers, a feminine voice could be heard.*

female voice: "Hi Gebby!"

*The two fighters stopped while Gebohq waved back, then sighed*

Arbiter: "Who's that?"

Gebohq: "My girlfriend. She's here to support me and all that."

*Arbiter looks at the woman in the bleachers, then turns back to Gebohq.*

Arbiter: "Man, she sure has a nice pair of..."

*Arbiter did not realize that no matter how skilled you were, it was no match for the wrath of a jealous boyfriend.*

Gebohq: "You will die for that!!!!"

*Gebohq then launched an attack so forceful it took every ounce of energy for Arbiter to defend himself. He knew this would pass however....hopefully. Meanwhile, at the bleachers...*

Rob X: (to Geb's girlfriend)"Hey, I lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?"

*She proceeded to smack him on his face. He turned away, rubbing his face which was now red. He stopped in mid-stride, face turning white as one of his ex-girlfriends stood in front of him...*

Ex-girlfriend: "I found you!!!! Your never run from me now!"

Rob X: "Nooooo!!!"

*Rob ran frantically in the opposite direction with his ex right on his tail.*

*Back in the warehouse, where there was just recently a mass genocide of slimes...*

Antestarr: Well, trusty assistant, I'm off to join the people at the battle of the century, and possibly get retribution for having to fight off hordes of slimes.

Assistant: How do you know that was where the popcorn was from, sir?

Antestarr: It was really quite simple. After I figured out the trajectory, judged the velocity of the popcorn, and put into account the various gravitational fields around the universe, I got very confused. Then I remembered watching the same bag of popcorn thrown from an arena on Pay-Per-View Channel 2548543. Now, I'm outta here, hold the fort, alright?

Assistant: Yes sir.

*The mysterious Antestarr, with flowing black cape and various arcane symbols adorning his garb, prepares for flight to find battle, glory, retribution, and money...*

------------------
~Antestarr
"To stand divided we would surely fall, until our darkest hour when the light will save us all."

*Among the cheers from the crowd, one might hear Miss Fire yelling "Go Arbiter". She thought that even though that Geb guy was nice and all, Arbiter had a vaster intellect. Besides, she always had a thing for bad guys(Arbiter being a sith and all)...*

Miss Fire: "Show him Arbi!"

*Arbiter stopped in midfight hearing Miss Fire and took a step towards her. Gebohq still outraged wasn't thinking quite as clearly and was preparing to charge at Arbiter, but missed and fell to the ground from the momentum. Arbiter then flashed one of those Hollywood-worthy smiles, all teeth. Miss Fire went red in the cheeks. But that quickly passed as Gebohq got back up and was heading for Arbiter, Arbiter still looking at Miss Fire.*

Miss Fire: "Watch out!"

*Arbiter turned and only had time to put up his lightsaber as Gebohq lept at him like a wild vorskner. The fight was still looking grim for Arbiter.*

Miss Fire: "Oh no! I've got to help him, but how?"

*Just then, Rob X was running by her and hearing her, stopped suddenly. His ex-girlfriend who was right on his heels also tried to stop but tripped from her own momentum and crashed with a racket of noise, falling on several thing including some mysterious trashcans and Morris the cat.*

Rob X: "Why don't you dial "M" for monkey? Monkey has always been there in a time of need."

Miss Fire: "I can't believe I didn't think of that before! Thanks ATT man..er..I mean Rob. I'll go do that."

*Miss Fire went to the pay phone nearby while Rob noticing that his ex-girlfriend was preparing to chase him again, decided to dive under one of the bleachers before she saw him.*

*Miss Fire dials at the payphone*

voice on other end: Eee Ee oo!

Miss Fire: Drat! I can't understand a word theyr'e saying! I'll have to take matters into my own hands. Hmm...what can I do?

*Miss Fire suddenly remembers her backpack. She runs back to the bleachers where Geb and Arb are still brawling. Reaching back, she pulls out a giant gun (which could have never fit in such a tiny pack under normal circumstances) and aims.*

Miss Fire: All right! Get back to the middle of the arena and fight -- no more of this fighting in the middle of the bleachers where no one but the cameramen can see you!

*As Geb and Arb make their way down, Miss Fire sticks her gun back in the pack where it fits with no problem among the myriad of other weapons and nifty objects.*

------------------
I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.

RobX pops out of the bleachers and slices Gebs head clean off.

fast and efficiant, now about those corny one liners....

------------------
Planet Gaming
The trouble with the long run is in the long run everybody's dead

*Rob was about to sit back down at the bleachers when Ares pops up right in front of him!*

Ares: "How dare you do that! Now the pay-per-view ratings are plummiting with no fighting going on!"

Rob: "Sheesh, don't get so uptight about it!"

Ares: "Put Geb's head back on his body right now!"

Rob: "Fine fine...*muttering* hope Ares keels over dead."

Ares: "WHAT WAS THAT??"

Rob: "Err....Hope Ares gets some head?"

Ares: "I sure hope so..."

*Rob proceeds to place Geb's head back on with a plugging sound. Gebohq then rubs his neck to get the cinks out of it.*

Geb: "Never thought I'd live through a decapitation...and why the hell did you do that Rob? Its not my fault that the scriptwriter for you has the same name as me..."

non-corperal voice: "He's right. Sorry about the one liners...I had writer's block."

*Rob X then waves his fist up in the air as if to warn that he'll do worse if that happened again.*

Ares: "Now apologize to Gebohq and the viewers watching."

Rob: (grumble)"yeah yeah....sorry y'all. But could someone PLEASE get rid of my ex?"

different non-corperal voice: "Sure thing."

*And then the huge eraser came down on Rob's ex-girlfriend and rubbed her out of existance*

Rob: "Thanks a million. Now let's get it on!"

Miss Fire: "Yeah, when do i get to kick someone's butt?"

Morris the Cat: "Am I the only one perplexed here?"

*Antestarr finally makes his way to the vicinity of the arena, and finds a space on the bleachers*

Antestarr: Phew, you guys wouldn't believe the traffic out there! A whole frickin' Imperial fleet?! And as if the traffic jam wasn't bad enough. I got two tickets from random Tie-Cops who caught me making illegal passes between Star Destroyers!

Rob: Eh, it's been worse. At least you weren't chased by your ex-girlfriend!

Antestarr: Yeah, but still! Parking around here is worse than the mall at X-mastime. Hell, my ship's double-hovered! And with Imperials around... I had to sign up as a possble contender merely to bring in a couple of weapons. Man I wish retribution were easier to come by...

*Various eyes perk up at the sound of the word 'retribution'. Mutterings go around the bleachers faster than squishy hot dogs.*

Antestarr: (to self) Hmm... so which one of these folks is responsible for my troubles with slimes...

*Rob X walks over to Miss Fire, who just finished threatening Arbiter and Gebohq with her giant gun and was placing it in a bag that should of been much too small to hold such weapons of destruction. Rob then leans his head over to peer into her bag.*

Rob: "Hey, what else ya got in there?"

Miss Fire: (closing the bag and pulling it away quickly) "None of your business...and will you back off, I need my space."

*Rob peers towards the viewers, squinting his eyes, then resumes to look int hat direction normally.*

Rob: "Awww no. I'm not saying that! I told you, no corny one-liners!"

*The man holding the Q-cards behind the camera frantically points at the card, then points upwards.*

Rob: "To hell with them! They can go-"

[This broadcast is experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by........]

[We now resume our regularly shedueled program.]

*In the fighting arena is now several chairs lined up, two of them occupied by Gebohq and Arbiter. Standing in front of the cameras is Jerry Springer.*

Springer: "Today's topic is "Guys who don't like guys commenting on their girlfriends". Now tell me Gebohq, what happened?"

Gebohq: "Well, I was just minding my own business, assulting Arbiter here, when my girlfriend cheered for me."

Springer: "Let's bring her out, shall we?"

*Geb's girlfriend walks from the side and takes a seat next to Gebohq.*

Arbiter: "See? She's a real looker!"

*Jerry walks over tot eh bleachers, where Ping_Me is standing to make his comment*

Ping: (in surfer voice)"Hey, like, if that guy has to make comments about every woman that passes by, then, like....he needs to look at himself!"

*The crowd applaudes in agreement. Jerry walks over to Miss Fire with the next comment.*

Fire: "Yeah, I don't know why that guy's girlfriend is still hanging out with him! She should move on!"

*More applause is heard. Springer moves to Rob X with his comment.*

Rob X: "I LIKE LLAMAS!"

*A silence from the crowd. A few crickets could be heard.*

Rob: "What? Llamas are cool!"

Springer: "Yes...and now back to Gebohq and Arbiter who--"

*Before he could finish his words though, a full-fledged scream-fest was ensueing. Gebohq was being held back by a security guard, spewing profanities at Arbiter who was holding a chair in front of him should Gebohq escape the guard's grip.*

Gebohq: "You *beep*! I'm gonna *beep* your *beep* *beep* and *beep-beep-beep* with your *beep!...."

*The audience soon got involved and started physically fighting each other. Will nothing stop this insane TV host and his show?*

*Meanwhile, off the scene, Rob X stands in hte middle of a white background, talking with the non-corperal scriptwriter named Gebohq...*

Rob X: "...you got that? I want to look and say what I want, not what you or the masses want. You'll leave it at that, or else..."

disembodied voice: "Fine, fine, just don't do anything rash...I guess I'll just have to pick on Antestarr then-"

Antestarr: (out of view)"I heard that!"

------------------
"90% of life is the anticipation." (not a self-quote)

>>>Gebohq<<<

*Antestarr peers at the scene below*

Antestarr: Hmm... Jerry Springer? I'm sick and tired of that guy tearing up the ratings charts with random acts of violence, while innocent pay-per-view viewers like myself get ripped off.

*Antestarr pulls out what looks to be some kind of modified crossbow-on-a-rope.*

Antestarr: HEY JERRY, COME HERE!

*He takes aim, and with relative ease manages to tie up Springer from his seat at the bleachers.*

Morris: ???

Antestarr: You want the ratings to catch fire? I'll show you how hot network television can be!

*He takes the bundle-o-springer and a T.V. camera, finds a nice outcropping over the molten lava, hangs Jerry from the outcropping, and sets up the camera to record the event.*

Antestarr: Now, ladies and gentlemen, for your viewing pleasure... BBQ a-la Jerry Springer! Which will happen first? Will the licking flames from the pit below burn through Jerry's bonds so that he plummets to a quick and relatively painless death? Will his inner bodily fluids boil from overexposure to heat? Will our ratings go through the roof? Only you, the viewers can decide by phoning 1-900-INDCASH, where you can contribute money towards whichever fate you prefer. These contributions will go to the poor children of earth who have no cable...

*As he drones on like a bad infomercial, the viewers are torn between the need to watch Jerry burn and the boredom of listening to his monotone voice.*

(Disembodied voice of Gebby scriptwriter): Shut up already before I have you tagged in against Mamma Mammoth, the universe's heaviest heavyweight woman!

Antestarr: Oh, sorry sir, it'll never happen again.

------------------
~Antestarr
"I have suffered ten thousand years of humiliation, and I shall remember every minute of it as I avenge my anguish."

*The crowd screams in excitement and joy as it was decided that Springer's fate was to burst into a flaming husk, thus burning the rope off and finally squirming slowly in agony in the molten lava. As if by magic, the arena is transformed back into the way it had appeared before Jerry Springer came and the fighters went back to entertain the crowd.

Gebohq: "Better end this quick, the end of time as we know it is about to fall on us."

Arbiter: "Correction: it will be the end of humanity, specifically for the people on the planet Earth. While they all worry about Y2K, they never stop to think about the comet heading right for them."

Gebohq: "But isn't this arena on Earth?"

Arbiter: "Who knows?"

*Meanwhile, Antestarr continues his quest to find the guilty member who caused him his trouble with the slimes.*

Antestarr: "So, would anyone care to tell me which one of you threw the popcorn and caused the slimes to follow?"

*Everyone in the bleachers points their fingers at Miss Fire, who in return gives them all a cold stare. They all look away in fear of spontaniously combusting from her stare.*

Antestarr: "Well then, I think its time for a little retribution..."

------------------
"90% of life is the anticipation." (not a self-quote)

>>>Gebohq<<<

*What Gebohq and Arbiter did not realize was that Y2K was in fact a threat to Earth, only not in the form they thought it would take. When the part of the planet closest to the international deadline crossed the new millenuim, the beast emerged from its secret hiding place. Its head, a big yellow "Y", looked from left to right as if looking for its first target. It soon sensed the presence of the arena and began to charge towards the general direction, the "Y" in front, the "2" acting as the front legs and teh "K" acting as the back legs, with the upper portion of the "K" swinging like a tail. It seemed as if our unwitting heros have trouble up to their heads this time.*