NSP: I should probably clarify just in case Antestarr's post isn't a joke. The narrator is now Ares, so he is both a character in the story and the narrator.

------------------
"If you notice this notice then you notice this notice isn't worth noticing at all"

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake"

"You can't have everything, where would you put it?"

[This message has been edited by KyleKatarn7 (edited May 18, 2002).]

NSP: The NeS computer game.

I'm here to let the writers know that there's an adventure game based on the events of the Neverending Story in the works. I'm doing the programming, Krig volunteered to draw the art and Geb is going to help fit the NeS script to a game environment. Antestarr is probably going to help out in some way, too.

We haven't got any gameplay figured out as of yet, but it'll be along the lines of a Monkey Island game (solve puzzles, talk to people, etc.).

-----This is the only definate stuff so far----

Voice acting (once the script is completed) is pretty much up for grabs, though I think that giving each writer dibs on their NeS personas is fair. Of course, the script hasn't been written so there's really no way to tell which characters will be included, and so there wouldn't be much point in calling a character right now. If interest is high, I've got some fair ways of doling out the parts which should ensure that everyone gets the characters they want...but that's all in the future...

So yeah. I just want the writers to be aware of what's going on. If you'd like to help out...well, don't. Not yet. We'll need assistance down the road, but things are running smoothly right now. Krig, Geb and Ante: If this isn't true and you guys do need help with whatever you're doing, feel free to ask.

So that's the score. email me at [url="mailto:null_entropy@hotmail.com"]mailto:null_entropy@hotmail.com[/url]null_entropy@hotmail.com</A> if you have questions. On that note, Geb, I'd appreciate it if you could tell me when your semester is complete.

That is all.

is this going to go as far as fast as the NeS comic?

Well, I hope not. I can't speak for anyone else, but the programming is going to be dead simple. The only delays I'm anticipating are with the voice acting. It all comes down to how soon we can get started on the script, which depends on when Geb finishes school (hey Geb, email me about working on the script).

*Ante the writer toils away at his computer deep within the meat freezer.*

Ante *typing*: Al...most... done... for the time...

*Clicking on the "update site" button, a great wailing of souls and screeching of cars is heard, due to the astonishment of the world that Ante actually did something. Snow was now falling in Hell and many a bet had been lost, whereas 4 people were much, much richer.

Looking to the door, a grinding was heard as the lock slid away from the bolted position and it swung open, letting in a searing yellow light. Freedom was his, for a moment, as the preliminary site design was done. For now, he could re-join the other writers in an actual office.*

--------------------

*Memorandum:
From: MMC
To: NeS Writers/Heroes

In order to retain some semblance of sanity with our readers and to reduce the taxing pull of the ability of Omnipresence on a god of War such as Ares, we have assembled a group of high quality voice actors, often used by Disney and/or the Ocean Group to assume the responsibilities of substitute narrator until a being of pure omnipresence and omniscience who can hold no sway over the actual happenings may be re-introduced. Please bear with us in these times of unrest.

~Executives of MMC*

*Note: MMC has not been officially introduced yet. They will be.*

The Massassi Forums Building
11:45 PM

*It is well past closing time, and the writers have either gone home or fallen asleep at their keyboards, their office doors firmly shut. However, down at the end of the hallway, one door is slightly ajar, enough so that subdued sounds of typing - interspersed with dainty mouse clicks - are audible.*

*The camera begins a fast but steady pan towards that singular office and its errant occupant, nudging the door fully open.*

*The interior is unspectacular, despite an expansive corner window. Books of all types dominate most of the interior, aside from the few feet devoted to a computer and its user, a young man approaching his twenties.*

*The teenager, a determined look in his eye, is madly typing away - but not so madly as to forgo home row technique. Letters blink to life, forming words. But the words are strange, rife with odd conjugations and semicolons.*

*Fade to black...*

Location: Secret Australian Clown College

(The heroes watch with rapt attention as the clown clones do several constructive things not depicted in Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones)

Ares: Ah! Not this time, my comic custodian! You see, for years evil super villians have had their plans thwarted by foolish and rather inefectual heroes for one reason: They can't keep their mouths shut. Well, I for one am through with having my terrible plans chatted into faliure. Hmph!

(Ares clams up)

Randy: So, what now?

Phantom Master: (In his wackiest voice ever) We seem to be left to our own devices.

Losien: Don't worry, we're a team. We can succeed!

Michael McLongname: You said it, baby. Succeed at love.

Losien: Stop it, Mick. I'm not that kind of girl.

Krig: Krig's axe a device!

Janitor Bob: Come on, mop. Don't let me down now. (He commences mopping a smallish portion of the floor)

Masetto: I'll just stand over here for a while.

MaybeChild: No! Stay together! We're a team! Team!

(But it's no good, no good at all. The heroes, their wild team-ctf antics of pages past forgotten, have come to rely much too heavily on babbling super villians and circular distortions in the space/time continiuum, and are no longer capable of functioning as a team. Despite MaybeChild's near-rabid protesting, the heroes slowly disband and walk off to seperate areas of the room, each doing his or her own thing.)

MaybeChild: (Quietly, to herself) I wish Geb was here.

(Maybe gives the scene another disparaging look with her sharp second in command gaze. Starting with Janitor Bob mopping away, then moving to Krig, chopping and smashing things with his axe. Passing over Masetto, standing around with his hands shoved into his pockets, coming to rest on the ever busy clowns. The clowns. Constantly moving and changing formation; not synchronized, but certainly with some semblance of order...)

(Suddenly, a spark of intuition flickers in Maybe's brain. The solution, of course, is obvious!)

MaybeChild's Brain: Obvious as all hell!*

*Reprinted with permission from I. Asimov and Co.


[This message has been edited by Tracer (edited May 20, 2002).]

Taz:Lets just figure out how to get out of hear or else we can use this stuff and build sompthing realy cool.
/so what are our heros going to do find out next time!/

Uh...which of the seemingly-infinite NeS plots will the game be based on? Are we creating a completely new one?

I ask only because of the the ambiguous nature of TLTE...you might make him a good guy, and I may decide I want him to be a bad guy (THE bad guy?) or vice-versa...

NSP: The game is going to be based on some combination of the events of this thread. As for TLTE's alliegance, well, I intended to just go by what was written...is that alright with you?

If you want, I'll give you a copy of the game storyline and script once it's completed for suggestions, revisions, and so on (this offer is open to all NeS writers who's material is used, which I expect will be everybody).

NSP: Yes, I'm most definitely interested in seeing the script and storyline of the game.

------------------
"If you notice this notice then you notice this notice isn't worth noticing at all"

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake"

"You can't have everything, where would you put it?"

(NSP: Concerning the NeS computer game--

So you all know, I'll be writing up the basic script for the game, so if anyone has any suggestions, comments, questions, etc., by all means, send them! (at gebohq@hotmail.com) The more you tell and ask of me, the more the game will fit the likings of the writers (and hopefully, any other audience--it'll also make it easier for me to write up the script ).

And though I would be more than happy to see NeS rise in the post count, I hope that you all will ask any other questions, favors, etc. over e-mail, so as to keep this thread mainly the story.

...and to think, NeS is actually reaching some state of greatness. Never would have thought the day would come. Then again, Ante is actually progressing on stuff too. I guess that means Hell WILL freeze over.)

will that continuity continue through to TACC? cause i was thining of doing soemthing like that.

Quietly, carefully, and ever so dramatically, Maybe pulls out a coke and pops the top.

Coke can: Fsssshhh!!!

Sem: Fsssshhh?!?!?!

As Sem's neck snaps back and he stands up to his full height, Maybe throws the can at the nearest clown who catches it upside-down, spilling it onto J-Bob's newly polished floor. With stony, horrified looks on their faces Sem grabs Krig's axe and J-Bob grips his mop more tightly.

Sem, J-Bob: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Krig, still attached to the axe: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Moments later, Sem had his coke, The clown was lying in peices on the floor, organized neatly in the corner by size, the floor everywhere else was spotless, and Krig was dizzily walking in circles. The scene otherwise had returned to what it was before.

Maybe: I think I need more coke...

------------------
The early bird may get the worm-
but it's the second mouse who gets the cheeze.

Omnia quae specto dominavi, et tantam magnus sum, ut non specto!

I'm very interested, both in doing some voice work, and in helping with the script if needed.

Ditto

*Hi, I'm the guy who did the voice of Grown-up Simba on the Lion King, and I'll be your narrator for today. The scene: The Legion of Spookay, also known as the Arena. A stadium carved from the interior of a volcano, formerly a place of much joy and peace and violence, but now it has been corrupted by evil forces, led by the dark and devious Muppet known as... Ernie. The volcano lies at the bottom of the sea, in the Bermuda Triangle, uprooted from its former home by the Legions of Spookay, now a home for swarms of evil of all descriptions. Inside a protective force-field, we find a collection of the most evil beings ever to exist, seated in a circle on the dusty floor.

There is Darkside, an ethereal amalgamation of every soul ever to be corrupted by the Dark Side of the Force; Farr, a bizarre looking mercenary type; Gettleburger's Keyboarding Teacher, lesser in power than some of the others, but greater in sheer evilness; Morris the Cat, who's not really evil but just eats a lot of things; "They", a nefarious fellow responsible for things like higher taxes, cigarettes, and pretty much all of Hollywood; and Phil the UGO truck driver, who hasn't really clued in yet that these other guys are evil and want to take over the world and make it an unhappy place to live. Farr reaches forward to the centre of the circle, shakes his fist around, and then releases a pair of dice, which land on snake-eyes.*

Farr (moving a game piece on a board): "One, two. Ooh! Sports history! I'm good at these ones!"

*Darkside reaches into a box and pulls out a little card. When he speaks, his voice sounds like a thousand souls screaming at once, crying to be free of their agony.*

Darkside: "Who won the Swedish Curling Championships in 1973?"

Farr: "Ooh, I know this one! Lemme think, umm..."

*Several yards away, a pair of bloodshot googly eyes watches the proceedings. It is Ernie, a muppet whose soul was once pure and good - but who has become corrupted and vile, even moreso than Gettleburger's Keyboarding Teacher. A grating, mirthless laugh escapes his lipless mouth as he speaks to a small rubber duckie he holds in his hand.*

Ernie: "Khee-hee-hee... So, my precious little duckie, my little duckie, do we have any further need for those Trivial Pursuit playing buffoons? I think that we do not, no, we do not. They have rebuilt my precious Arena, yes, rebuilt it. Their usefulness is ended, yes. We do not want their competition, do we, duckie? Of course not, of course not. Let us rid ourselves of them, then!"

*Ernie makes a fist with his hand, and the rubber duckie pops in a squeal of horror and also a squeal of escpaping air as it deflates into a pile of yellow rubber. Ernie stands up, raises his hands, and cackles at the group of villians.*

Ernie: "Goodbye, fools. Yes. Goodbye."

*Ernie makes a gesture, and a large trapdoor opens under the group of villians. The group hangs suspended for a moment, still playing Trivial Pursuit, then plumets downward into a dark, bottomless pit. The trapdoor snaps shut, leaving no trace of them. Suddenly, the bathroom door swings open, and Phil emerges.*

Phil: "Is it my turn ye--hey, where'd everybody go?"

Ernie: "Khee-hee-hee-hee-heeeeee! And now to begin my Master Plan!"

*Ernie walks out into the center of the Arena floor, where once the great Ares beat the less great RobX into a pulp. He raises his hands to the air, and shouts.*

Ernie: "Rise, my duckie legion! Rise!"

*There is a low rumbling, and then, from all corners of the Arena, from under the stands, from out of windows, from upturned hotdog stands, a flood of yellow rubber flows. Streaming towards the small orange muppet, the tide of rubber duckies surrounds him, squeaking with an intense fervour. The rumbling grows greater, and another part of the evil muppet's plan falls into place. The Arena begins to rise, up through the water, and surfaces in the blue-green Carribean waters of the Bermuda Triangle. Suddenly, a shadow falls upon the twisted muppet's evil visage.*

Ernie: "What is this?"

*From the top of the Arena, a dark cloud is descending, accompanied by the sound of a thousand flapping wings. Pigeons! From the midst of the cloud, a tall, thin, yellow muppet descends, help up by a phalanx of pigeons. He descends in front of Ernie, finally setting down on the ground. Fierce, googly eyes peer out from under a unibrow.*

Bert: "Ernie. We meet again."

Ernie: "Bert, Bert. You've not changed a bit."

Bert: "Frank Oz takes good care of those of us who have remained true to the side of goodness and purity."

Ernie: "That charletton? He is only using you to further his own goals, yes, his own goals!"

*Bert fixes Ernie with an indignant, piercing, googly-eyed stare, then continues.*

Bert: "I have come to offer you one last chance, Ernie. Return to Sesame Street! It can be as it used to be, an urban paradise where no-one except Oscar and sometimes Snuffulupugus is ever unhappy! Think of it, man!"

Ernie: "You know I'll never join you, old friend, no, never."

Bert: "Then it is as it must be. We will fight to the death. There can only be one victor."

Ernie: "Yes, yessss..."

************************************

*Meanwhile, in London, in the Hall of Heroes...*

Lt. Randy: "Well, that certainly was a great idea you had, MaybeChild! I don't think we'll be seeing Ares around for a long time now!"

MaybeChild: "Oh, why thank you, Randy. It was obvious, really.*

Lt. Randy: "Yeah. I just wish Steve Irwin had been able to get this stupid alligator off of my leg."

*The group of Heroes laughs collectively at Lt. Randy's joke.*

Lt. Randy: "Really, I'm not kidding guys. I think I might be getting gangrene in this leg!"

*The group of Heroes laughs collectively at Lt. Randy's joke.*

Galvatron: "Well, now that we've taken care of Ares, I guess we should go stop the Legion of Spookay from taking over the world, right?"

TheOtter: "Nah, I'm tired of saving the world. How 'bout we all take a vacation?"

Everybody: "Yaaayy! A vacation!"

Galvatron: "Um, but the Legion of Spookay is a threat to the world..."

TheOtter: "Oh come on, lighten up! They'll still be evil when we get back!"

Galvatron: "Maybe you're right. Let's have a vacation!"

*And so it was that the Heroes of NeS decided to take a vacation. After a large and very violent argument over where they should take this vacation, they decide to split up and go their separate ways. Well, they didn't so much decide to do that as they all got really pissed off and sick of arguing, and stormed out of the room in temper tantrums, but the end result is that they split into a bunch of little groups and scattered across the globe.*

*The scene: an airliner, soaring over the Pacific Ocean, on its way to Hawaii. Mick MacLongname and Losien sit side by side, looking into each others' eyes.*

Losien: "You know Michael, we've been sitting here looking into each other's eyes for the entire trip. That's like twelve hours, but it seems like it's only been moments! This is so romantic!"

Mick: "Yeah, it'd be a whole lot more romantic if I didn't drink that litre of Mountain Dew before we left."

*Meanwhile, a few rows behind Mick and Losien, the robot Galvatron sits next to the Pizza Delivery Guy.*

Galvatron: "Hey, shouldn't you be working? Y'know... Delivering pizzas an' stuff?"

Pizza Delivery Guy: "Shhh! Losien is saying something!"

*As Pizza Guy adjusts his eavesdropping spy-gear, Galvatron raises one robotic eyebrow and motions for a stewardess, to order himself a container of oil for his hinges, which have begun squeaking.*

*Meanwhile, Masetto, Otter, and MaybeChild are on a ferry going across the English Channel to France, leaning on the railing.*

Otter: "So, Maybe, when we get to France, you wanna get adjoining rooms? That way I can come into your room without having to go through the hallway!"

MaybeChild: "Why, oh why, did I have to get stuck with this raving lunatic??!!"

Masetto: "Hey! I resent that!"

MaybeChild: "I was talking about Otter."

Masetto: "Oh."

Otter: "Hey! I resent that!"

*Simultaneously (Hah! I avoided saying 'meanwhile' -- aw, crap, I just said it again, didn't I?), Kyle K, Gand, Spasm, MZZT, and Taz - in other words, the new guys - have just arrived in Newfoundland, unwittingly expecting a peaceful vacation in the wilds of Canada.*

MZZT: "I've always wanted to go to Canada. It's so peaceful and pure - a perfect place for a vacation!"

Kyle: "Say, any idea why all the airport security guys have red eyes and '666' tatooed on their foreheads?"

*Meanwhile (Oh I give up, the Meanwhile has won), Krig the Viking, Semievil, and Lt. Randy have just arrived in Sydney, Australia, and are waiting to go through customs.*

Randy: "Weren't we just here?"

Semievil: "Yeah, but that was business. This is pleasure."

Randy: "But we were just here..."

Krig: "Krig smell funny."

*Meanwhile, in the US of A, Phantom Master and Janitor Bob are strolling through the corridors of a top secret government laboratory.*

Phantom (in American accent) : "I think you'll like this next room. We call it the 'clean room.'"

*The two don surgical masks, step through a small lobby where they are blasted with air, and into a pristine white room, free of dirt or grime of any kind.*

Janitor Bob (with tears in his eyes): "I've never been so happy in my life..."

Wow! What an amazing sequence of events! Will these daring new plot twists be accepted by the general public? What will become of Ernie and his nefarious plans? Heck, I don't know, I'm just a temp! Until next time, I'm the guy who did the voice of Grown-up Simba, signing off!

*In the Hall of Heroes, the door swings open and a shorts-clad figure stands silloughetted in the light, carring several suitcases.*

TLTE: "Hello tovarishes! I am back from my vacation, da? Hello? Is anybody home? Hello? Hello? Aw, nuts."

(OOC: You new guys, in case you don't know why the airport security guys have red eyes and '666' tatooed in their foreheads, you should read my post on page 23, just after J-Bob's really long musical number. Really, if you want to post on this story, you should read the whole NeS from beginning to end, but that's up to you. It's not like it's an impossible task, mind you, the NeS makes for some good reading. :-) )

------------------
When the blind leadeth the blind.... get out of the way!

[This message has been edited by Krig_the_Viking (edited May 22, 2002).]

Fluffy Now joins the story

------------------
Every Gun is Fluffy!

(NSP: If Fluffy is who I think he is, then I should warn the rest of the storytellers to run for cover. No offense to Fluffy.)

Hello, I'm that guy who did the voice of Bambi... what? Hey, shut up back there! I won't take any more crap from you, man! Ahem. Anyway, when last we left our Heros, they were... taking a vacation. Geez, is that all I get to read? Nuts. Oh wait, there's more! Somewhere in Newfoundland... Gosh, that was fun!

Spasm*looking around warily*: Um, guys, I didn't read pages 20-28, so I was wondering, is that evil demon still ruling Canada?

Taz *stares at Spasm, puzzled*: What demon? There was a demon?

KyleKatarn: You actually read it? How odd.

Fluffy(who just inserted himself into the story, surely causing a plot hole or five): Demons are fun! I wanna be a demon when I grow up!

*One of the security guys advances on the group*

Security Guard #1: You'll have to come with me please.

Gand: Like, peace dude, but uh, what'd we do?

Security Guard #1: You'll have to come with me please.

Spasm: Wait a minute, something like this happened before! *pulls out his printed copy of The Never-Ending Story*

Kyle: You know, if we were honest, law-abiding citizens we'd probably just do what the security guy told us to do.

*Fluffy chokes a little, and Taz laughs maniacally*

Security Guard #1(his voice taking on a hard edge): You'll have to come with me please.

*Spasm thumbs through the pages*

Security Guard #1*yelling*: You'll have to come with me please.

Spasm: I found it! Yeah, there was a bus, and security type guys, and then there was a lot of yelling, and, um... ow.

MZZT: Ow?

Gand: Like, uh, pain ow?

Spasm: Yep. Ow.

Taz: Oh goody!

Fluffy*sounding kinda hungry or somethin*: Pain...

Goodness me! What will become of the new guys? Will they be able to get themselves out of this awful jam? The next guy will have to answer those questions.

*Fluffy Smacks Spaz For....being Spaz*

Fluffly:How are you taz?

Taz:Oh I was just over at the Portman post....kinda stupid....

Fluffy:You mean she aint hott?

Taz h no, she is a babe..

Fluffy h.....

*Slowly Spaz walks over*

Spaz:what are you guys talking about?

Fluffy:Oh nothing.....

Taz:yea....Nothing

Spaz:Oh i see

Spaz: I made a BIG bobo In JED today

Taz:Really?

Fuffy:Your parents made a big bobo 15 years ago!

Taz: AHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA

Spaz:that was low

Taz:But funny

Spaz:yea...I guess

*Fluffy starts to play with his lightsaber*

Taz:MY lightsaber is bigger than yourS!

Fluffy:Not uh!

Taz:whatever

Fluffy:You are just made cause I am better than you

Taz:I could beat you in a heart beat! what are you talking about?

fluffy:sure

*Spaz Pulls out his saber....Craking it down to the lowest setting,And then walking over and hiting fluffy with it*

Fluffy: WTF are you doin?

Spaz: I am bored!

Fluffy:WHAT? YOU WANT TO FIGHT!!!!!

------------------
Every Gun is Fluffy!

Who died and made YOU Darth Vader?

Heya, I'm the guy who did the voice of the slinky dog on Toy Story, and I'll be narrating today's story...

* Taz, Spasm, and Fluffy all prepare very busily, and noisily, for battle. Taz powers up, casting an eerie aura around the customs checkpoint leading to Canada. Fluffy, being the new guy, has no plot holes, and so he all he can do is try to persuade the security guard to hand over his rifle. Spasm ignites his saber and prepares for battle. *

Fluffy: "Awwww, come on, just for a second. I promise I'll bring it back with a full clip of ammo."

Meanwhile, taking advantage of the very large distraction for the poor security guard, Kyle sneaks stealthily up behind him, and whacks him with his datapad.

Kyle: "Great job guys, your plan went perfectly!"

Spasm: "Right...plan...Anyways, now that that crisis has been averted, what'll we do now?"

Will our heroes ever be able to figure out something useful to do? Will Gebohq ever return from his extended vacation in TACC? Will the narrator ever return from his vacation?

Narrator (sipping an umbrella drink in the Bahamas): "Nope."

Find out the answer to these questions more next time on The Never-Ending Story

------------------
"If you notice this notice then you notice this notice isn't worth noticing at all"

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake"

"You can't have everything, where would you put it?"

[This message has been edited by KyleKatarn7 (edited May 25, 2002).]

NSP: I feel so neglected, nobody wrote about me, sobs. Oh, and Taz check your E-Mail.
----------------------------
Gand: Did I forget to mention my dog crate is also a stereo with a wireless internet connection so that it can download MP3's while playing?*Cranks up his stereo and out comes...Mozart!*

RAM:TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!

------------------
TX3=The Tolkien TerrorsT times 3
>>----->
SBX ROCKS!!
()===@{=====>

Taz I said E-Mail me.

------------------
TX3=The Tolkien TerrorsT times 3
>>----->
SBX ROCKS!!
()===@{=====>

What?

NSP: Where in the blue heck did everybody go? And why do I lack the energy to add anything useful? *sigh*...

NSP: I'd write, but I just moved and my internet connection isn't up yet. Tech support told me it'd be working yesterday, but it isn't...so that basically means that I can only post from school. I'll get back to posting once this is resolved.

Gand: Yo Taz could you make an interdimensional portal to the realm of TACC for me?
Taz: Yeah, sure.*fires a large ball of energy at nothing causing a rend in the fabric of Space-Time*Why?

Gand: I'm bored, we need Geb. *Pulls out a longbow, an arrow and some rope from his backpack* Now all I need to do is tie this here rope to my arrow, secure the other end to Fluffy (he's expendable), put a message on it, and shoot the arrow at the conveniantly placed post by Geb's head and wait for them to respond.*Aims his bow and fires, after a few seconds he winces and hides behind Taz*

Spasm: Why'd you do that?

Gand: Backta heals everything man! I've got some in my crate!

RCOGA(Random Chick on Gands arm): Don't ignore spasm like that, it's rude.

Gand: Sorry babe.

------------------
TX3=The Tolkien TerrorsT times 3
>>----->
SBX ROCKS!!
()===@{=====>

NSP:I Just realized we're in Newfoundland, Those dogs are so awsome, have ever seen a Newfoundland dog?

(NSP: Don't worry--Geb and the others will show up in Canada after their little TACC thing, so stay put Well, in Canada that is.)

*Gand, Taz, Kyle, MZZT, and Fluffy watch as JorBo jumps through the portal, with the portal dissapeaing.*

JorBo: FINALLY! I've escaped hell!

Gand: Darn it all! You were suppose to be Gebohq!

JorBo: Er...oops? At least this isn't hell!

Kyle: I wouldn't be so sure of that...

*A dramatic camera pan to the hellish landscape known as Canada, chock-full of demons and whatnot. Just then, twenty arch-devils approach them.*

Arch-Devil #2: By the decree of the Great Diety of Evil--

Arch-Devil #1: Back in line! I talk first! I'm arch-devil number one!

Arch-Devil #2: Poo...

Arch-Devil #1: *clears throat* By the decree of the Great Diety of Evil known as Pate, you have been summoned to follow us as we take you to him.

Taz: I refuse.

*One of the arch-devils wraps Taz with an entire roll of duct-tape--using the DARK side of it.*

Taz: Mmm-mmmph!

Arch-Devil #2: Just be glad that the Evil Pate did not want you Telletubbitized!

MZZT: What's this Pate want with us anyways?

Arch-Devil #1: The Vile Pate and the Prime Minister of Canada, Mister High Demon, or is it High Imp... wishes that the "NeS heroes in his realm" be brought to him.

JorBo: *whispering to the other heroes* I have a funny feeling they mean Geb and the others.

Kyle: Perhaps we should do as they say, for now. We might run into Geb.

<<GEE! You guys are picking up on the REAL SUBTLE hints here REAL GOOD!>>

Arch-Devil #1: Who said that?

MZZT: Oh, don't worry about him. He's just our temp. narrator.

<<Temp. Narrator! I certainly do a blasted better job than that OTHER "narrator"! Let us find out how well these guys fend for themselves, here on the Never-ending Story Thread.>>

B.U.M.P.!

(NSP: You'd think with so many writers on this thread this thing would be posted on more often...)

NSP: Well I'm sorry! I'm too lazy to do it, and besides, I don't remember enough about the hight demon. What page is he on, anyway?

NSP: Well I'm sorry! I'm too lazy to do it, and besides, I don't remember enough about the hight demon. What page is he on, anyway?

<edit>
oops.
</edit>

[This message has been edited by TheTwistedSpasm (edited June 05, 2002).]

(NSP: I've got writer's block on this...all I can think of is us standing around for hours with the demons asking "So...you like...stuff?" Which obviously doesn't get us very far. On a side note, we should really try to reach 1337 before the spooky taco thread. Not that it really matters or not, but they'd probably razz us about it if they won.)

(NSP: LOL, hehehehehehe. I'm pretty sure any competition we might have felt we had with the spooky taco ended a while ago--besides, it's not like they post anything that's near any sort of semblence to story or anything (I should know--I still read it *shudder*)

As far as the High Demon is concerned, he's shown up a few times actually, but his first appearance (and first introduction into Canada) was first introduced about 16 posts down from the top of page 7, and really begins his own thing when Otter posted after that.

And new guys--you'r in Canada/hell now. It's a nice expance of demonic wilderness, and Geb &co. from TACC are bound to be in it soon *hinthintmylaststorypostcough*, so perhaps if you went on a journey to try and find them (after doing something about the 20 arch-demons around you), you'll find something to do. And Kyle--none of the older writers actually HAVE thought out their posts before writing them. We just start with something and see where it goes--so just use that idea of yours, comment on the weather, and just stop when you feel like it. Remember--NeS posts don't have to be long at all.)

*Abord the ferry headed to France, three figures lean against the rail. Well, Otter and MaybeChild are leaning, Masetto is more hanging over the rail, wishing he hadn't eaten all that meatloaf before he left England.*

MaybeChild: "For the last time, Otter, I have absolutely no interest in you whatsoever! Leave me alone!"

Otter: "You say that, but you don't mean it. You're really quite unbearably attracted to me, I can see it in your eyes."

MaybeChild: "That's not attraction you're seeing in my eyes you feeble-minded half-wit, that's the urge to rip your throat out that I'm currently trying very hard to suppress!"

Otter: "Call it whatever you want, baby, but I know heart-throbbing passion when I see it."

*Just then, there is a crackle and the ship's captain's voice comes on over the loudspeakers, preventing the disgustingly greusome death of a certain hero. The captain speaks in that bored sort of tone that all captains speak in.*

Captain: "Ah, ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. If those of you who are on the deck would return to the hold as quickly as possible, we would be grateful. Nothing to worry about, really, except that I'm told that we've just been borded by a gang of pirates who don't look very nice. That is all."

Otter: "Pirates? I don't see any pirates..."

*Just then, a cannonball whizzes over Otter's head, knocking his bowler hat off.*

Otter: "Aaaaaaah! Pirates! Run for your lives!"

******************

*Meantwhile, in the dank and fetid depths of the Canadian Parliament Building, the New Guys are led by a couple of reddish-coloured blokes with horns and tails and nasty dispositions into the House of Commons. Formerly a place of political bickering and corruption, it has actually been improved by the sheer evil presence of the Lord High Demon. Which just goes to show that politics are worse than just about anything else.*

Kyle: "Gee, this place is really creepy."

MZZT: "Oh, I dunno, I kinda like it."

*A door opens and the Lord High Demon enters, walks over to a throne constructed entirely of human skulls, and sits down.*

High Demon: "What have these puny mortals been accused of?"

Not-so-High Demon: "Nothing, your Evilness."

High Demon: "Hahahahaha! Good! Execute them!"

Spasm: "Hey, you can't do that!"

High Demon: "YOU WOULD DARE QUESTION ME?!"

Spasm: "Uh..."

High Demon: "Hahahahahaha! I like this! I won't execute you after all! Instead, I'll do something much, much worse!"

New Guys: "Aaaaaaahhhhhh!"

Gand: "What fate could be worse than death?"

High Demon: "Take them away! They shall spend the rest of their lives in... The Reality Show Of Doooooooom!"

New Guys: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!"

Oh no! Will the Rookie Heroes be driven to death via insanity by being forced to participate in a Reality Show? Will the stress of being forced to interact with one another be too much for them? Which one will snap first? I don't know about you guys, but my money's on Taz! Why Taz, you ask? Actually, I'm not sure. I'm going with my gut. That's what they always say to do, right? Then again, I did just have a pastrami sandwich, and my gut isn't feeling quite as good as it should...

------------------
"The power to charm a snake
does you no good
if it bites you anyway." (Ecc. 10:11, CEV)

Hello, since that annoying narrator guy isn't back yet, I'll be your narrator for today! I'm the voice of the evil mirror thing in Cinderella, and by the way, I'm single... What? Oh, my lines. Right. *in a bored voice now* Somewhere, in the most hellish part of the hell that is Canada, our obnoxious new Heroes are about to be forced to participate in The Reality Show of Doooooooooom...

Spasm: Ain't it great guys! We aren't gonna get killed now!

Gand: Yeah, great. *more grumbling*

Spasm: C'mon, nothing is really worse than death! Well, except maybe my mom. Hm...

Kyle: Like we believe that.

MZZT: I believe it. *shudders*

*Spasm walks over to a Not-so-High-Demon and tugs on his sleeve*

Spasm: So, what do we do in this reality show? 'Cause I didn't like Survivor much.

Not-so-High-Demon: Oh, no, it's not like that.

*The Not-so-High-Demon smiles evil-ly and whispers something in Spasm's ear. Spasm lets out a horrible scream, the falls on the ground, unconscious.*

Not-so-High-Demon: *points at Taz* You! Carry him!

Taz: Aw man! Wait, here's a handy peice of cloth! At least I can gag the idiot.

What will happen next? Will our Heroes really have to participate in The Reality Show of Dooooooooooooom? Will they find a convenient plot hole and get away? Or will Spasm wake up, and subsequently go insane from not being able to talk? Find out next time!

*Massassi Forums Building, NES offices, STW's office*

Carefully, unobtrusively STW looked around. How STW came to be in the offices is unknown, probably the work of conspiratorial anvils working under cover of darkness to return things to the way they were in the beginning of NES. Only one thing was sure: Sem had to get out. Why is unknown, like I said only one thing was sure. But he had to get out.

Dolefully gazing out the window STW notices the gas station across the street and gets an idea- suddenly looking remarkably like a cross between a hyper squirrel and a lizard walking across a frying pan, STW leapt out the window and crawled down the side of the building. STW proceeded to scamper stealthily across the street. So stealthily in fact that he was hit by inattentive drivers seventeen times in the process. Ultimately he died of his wounds and was only revived by a passing plot hole.

This is not his story.

But it is the story of those terrible, stupid drivers and some of their consequences.

It is also the story of a thread, a thread called The Never-Ending Story- not a discussion thread, never published on the discussion forums, and until those crazy drivers showed up (and probably long after), never seen or heard of by any sane person.

Nevertheless, a wholly remarkable thread.

But the story of these terrible, stupid drivers, the story of their extraordinary consequences, and the story of how these consequences are inextricably intertwined with this remarkable thread begins very simply.

It begins with an Arc.

(NSP: something for you all to toy around with, Geb you should recognize most of that )

------------------
The early bird may get the worm-
but it's the second mouse who gets the cheeze.

Omnia quae specto dominavi, et tantam magnus sum, ut non specto!

i recognise it. its a parody of the books where my namesake came from.

INT. REALISTIC TELEVISION SOUND STAGE

*The 'new' heroes are situated in their apartment, which is furnished to reflect reality. They sit around and glare at each other, much like real-life roomies.

CANADIAN RADIO-TELEVISION COMMISSION EXECUTIVE
Yes, this is good, this is really, really good.

ASPIRING CANADIAN DIRECTOR
Fine, whatever.

CRTC EXECUTIVE
Is that the sound of a doubting Judas I hear?

ASPIRING CANADIAN DIRECTOR
This is garbage. When I proposed a 'miniseries about the real lives of Canadians,' I was thinking more along the lines of 'Canada: A People's History'.

CRTC EXECUTIVE pauses, and we can see the gears turning in his head as he works out a response to mollify ASPIRING CANADIAN DIRECTOR.

CRTC EXECUTIVE
We finish up at two, then we're off to shoot the 'Red Green Movie'.

ASPIRING CANADIAN DIRECTOR
I hate my life.

CRTC EXECUTIVE
Hush.

CRTC EXECUTIVE dangles a monetary grant cheque in front of ASPIRING CANADIAN DIRECTOR.

We move in for a close up of each 'new' hero, and then cut to the English Channel.

EXT. ENGLISH CHANNEL

The sounds of clashing swords and musket fire can be heard, punctuated by the occasional scream. The ferry boat moves into frame, and the sails of a pirate galleon are visible behind it.

EXT. FERRY BOAT

The camera cuts to a closer birds-eye view of the deck, and the writhing melee is plainly visible.

OTTER
Ye gads, they mean to kill us! What shall we do?

MICHAEL MCLONGNAME
I'm experienced in naval warfare! Our only chance is to get to a lifeboat and abandon ship!

LOSIEN
I see one over there!

We cut to a view of a life boat.

We cut to a three-quarter shot of MAYBECHILD, who is supporting a sickly MASETTO in one hand and wielding a sabre in the other.

MAYBECHILD
Alright, team, let's do it!

We zoom out far enough to get all of the 'old' heroes in frame, who immediately cower behind MAYBECHILD.

MAYBECHILD
(ad lib grumbling about GEBOHQ being on vacation in scenic TACC and having to do GEBOHQ's job)

Hefting MASETTO and her sword, MAYBECHILD defeats all of the PIRATES who attack the heroes. The 'old' heroes slowly proceed across the deck towards the lifeboat. Little skirmishes between the PIRATES and the FERRY CREW play out in the background.

We cut to the life boat.

MAYBECHILD (voice over, out of frame)
We're here! Everybody get in!

One by one, the 'old' heroes run into frame and board the lifeboat.

EXT. LIFEBOAT

MAYBECHILD
Krig! Cut us loose!

KRIG THE VIKING
(eats the ropes in half)

Cut to a shot of the lifeboat from the seaward side. KRIG unfastens the ropes and the lifeboat plummets to the ocean surface. We follow along in a track shot.

EXT. LIFEBOAT - OCEAN SURFACE

We cut to a shot of the pirate galleon and the ferry boat from the lifeboat. As the lifeboat begins to drift away from the two ships, the sounds of battle slowly fade out...

[This message has been edited by Tracer (edited June 11, 2002).]

[This message has been edited by Tracer (edited June 12, 2002).]

<<Now, to check in on our "new" heroes in The Reality Show Of Doooooooom! in Hell aka Canada.>>

Spasm: *recovering* Ooohh, my head hurts. What are we doing?

Taz: Joining The Reality Show Of Doooooooom!, if you remember.

Spasm: *starts screaming again* Oh, no! No! NOOOOOO!

Fluffy: Hmm. Wonder what his problem is.

Kyle: Beats me. Look over there!

<<Over on the other side of the room where our heroes have been unceremoniously led by the Not-So-High Demon, unbelievably beautiful and indescribably gorgeous women are stripping.>>

All our New Heroes: *drooling*

<<They all run over to the beautiful women - there are five for each of them, making twenty-five total - but suddenly run into a clear wall separating them from the strippers! Now they know why Spasm was screaming - or at least, they think they do. . .>> *ominously*

Gand: What could possibly be worse than this?

<<As if in answer to their question, someone else walks into the side of the room where the women are. A man, in a gray cloak and robe with black pools for eyes.>>

Man: Hi. I'm Shadowlord, and I will be your co-star on The Reality Show Of Doooooooom!

<<Shadowlord walks to the center of his half of the room, and the beautiful women surround him and->>

-=THIS POST HAS BEEN CENSORED TO KEEP IT TO AT THE VERY LEAST AN "R" RATING. IF YOU WISH TO VIEW THE UNEDITED VERSION OF THE REALITY SHOW OF DOOOOOOOOM!, THEN CONTACT YOUR LOCAL SERVICE PROVIDER, BY THE NAME OF HIGHEMPEROR, AND SWEAR ETERNAL FEALTY TO HIM, AND HE WILL SEND YOU THE UNCENSORED VERSION. WE NOW RETURN TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED BROADCAST=-

All "New" Heroes: No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<<Oh, dear, it would appear that these heroes have met a fate worse than death! Not to mention - something of Highemperor's dastardly plot, hinted at in the TACC realm, is becoming clearer! What will happen? Only time will- Screw this script! Only I will tell, because I am the Narrator right now! Duh! *grumbles*>>

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The Lord of Shadows lives ...