And then Joetech1000 brings back a dead smilie thread and it gets huge! AND HUGE! And then It squishes a MadQuack!

(NSP: What'd I get to first? I didn't see your original version...)

(NSP: Kyle wrote something. I guess now I have to post. Great stuff; NeS has taken a turn for the hilarious once more)

*Bedlam rages aboard the jet aircraft bound for Austria. The aircraft dips and weaves about in a drunken manner, launching foot carts and loose luggage on flights of their own.*

Michael: "Does this situation seem at all familiar to you?"

Tracer: (raises an eyebrow)

*A large, hairy man comes charging down the corridor screaming something incoherent, his greasy beard aflame.

Michael: "Freaking Hell."

*Hours later, Michael wakes up to find a Greater Siberian Caribou snuffling his hair. Rising, he surveys the scene: charred wreakage and dazed yet miraculously unhurt passengers are strewn across the tundra plain. Examining a large piece of the airframe, Michael is able to make out a faint hammer and sickle insignia, all but worn away from the crash's explosive effects. Crunching through the snow, Tracer sidles up to Michael.*

Tracer: "I spotted a village to the north. I suggest we head there and attempt to make contact with the other teams."

*Still recovering from recent events, Michael is too shocked to excersize his trademark wit. No clever segue along the lines of "next time, I'm taking the bus," or "Boy, I hope they didn't lose my luggage," or even "Isn't it about time for a Mr. T cameo?" escapes his lips. Instead, he turns his back to the wreakage and the milling ex-passengers, and follows Tracer towards the village.*

(NSP: Well, you finished off the evil narrator before I could play around with him a bit, but it's ok, I think my post turned out better this way anyways =). Oh yeah, and I should be posting more often, it's a bit of a lull point in school work.)

------------------
"What sane person could live in this world, and *not* be crazy?"

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake"

"You can't have everything, where would you put it?"

OoC: Hello! Remember me?

I have tried my best to read up on pages 35-37. I don't quite understand EVERYTHING that's going on, but I think I have grasped what my character is doing (ie nothing) and where some people are.

Ante: Same with me. All of my long posts I type in Notepad and copy-paste into the post-box. Hey, it works, doesn't it?

-=< In the realm of the heroes, present-day... >=-

* A Lambda-class shuttle flies over London, toward the HoH. It is heavily scarred, as if it had been recently escaping some Imperial Scum(TM). In fact, it had been recently escaping some Imperial Scum(TM). *

* The shuttle's wings started to close as it hovers above Big Ben, and started to land. Unfortunately, the navigational equipment was damaged in the flight, and so the shuttle crashes into the MFB. *

Shuttle Pilot: Cripes.

MCtW: *mocking GtW* "Who cares? We'll just stay here until this whole thing blows over!"

* The pilot hops out of the damaged shuttle and walks over to the group of writers. It's...

MZZTtH: Hi!

The Writers: O_o

MZZTtH: I'm back from my 10 page vacation in the New Republic! So anything happen, guys? Hey, waitaminute, you guys are the WRITERS?!? O_o

GebtW: Uh... We weren't aware you ever left...

MZZTtH: Aw, c'mon, you MUST have missed me at least a little.

MCtW: Nonononono... you've always been in the thread, even after MZZTtW left on that 10-page vacation of his to "RealLife" (where is he NOW, anywho?).

MZZTtH: ... No, I haven't...

SemtW: Yeah. You've been right over there... *points to HoH*

* MZZTtH frowns and pulls out his Electrobinoculars(TM). Training them on the building, he looks into the HoH. *

MZZtH: I can't see a darn thing. *Puts the binoculars away.* I'll have to see for myself who this self-called-Mega-ZZTer REALLY is... *Walks toward the exit.*

GebtW: Sem, you'd better follow him... in case he's getting a little on the loony side.

SemtW: Why ME?

GebtW: Because, I can count on you to make things humorous and interesting.

SemtW: Oh. *Follows MZZTtH*

-=< In the realm of the Writers (Nope, I'm not gonna say "Meanwhile". ... AUGH) >=-

* MZZTtW walks up to where the MFB once stood, whistling, wearing one of those Hawaiian shirts, a pair of jean shorts, a pair of Jedi Outcast(TM) sunglasses, a straw hat, a nice tan (not in real life, tho ), and carrying his laptop in it's case. Not noticing the building is gone, he opens the main doors and steps into the lobby. He calls the elevator and steps inside. Pressing the 5th floor button, he taps his foot and waits. Glancing idly (sp?) at his wristwatch, he suddenly realizes the building is gone. *

MZZTtW: Argh, not AGAIN. *Begins the task of looking through the rubble for bodies, company safes, ANYTHING.*

* Suddenly, he spots a staircase apparantly leading to a deep basement. (I can get away with this by saying that, when the building was uprooted, it snapped away from it's foundation. Heck, it happens all the time in tornadoes... I think.) *

MZZTtW: Odd, I never knew the MFB had a basement.

<<And neither does anyone else.>>

MZZTtW: *Suddenly chilled to the bone.* *Picks up a copy NeS page 36 from the ground and studies it.* Hey, it says here you got coffee poured on you. Doesn't that make evil-narrator-impersonators shrivel up and die?

<<Not me. I'm too young to die.>>

MZZTtW: Ah.

<<Although I no longer pose a threat to your pitiful "Writers", I sitll plan to scare the heck out of you as long as I can!>>

MZZTtW: Dang.

<<So.. BEWARE!!! DANGER LIES BELOW.>>

MZZTtW: Uh thanks... I think... Wait, what am I saying?!? *Uses his writer's power to reach through into the realm of voice overs and punches the fake-narrator unconscious.*

<<...>>

MZZTtW: Much better. *Cauciously (sp?) creeps down the stone stairway.*

* The walls of the passageways are made of stones and lit by torches (PLOT HOLE OF THE DAY: How do the torches stay lit?!?), while the actual passages wind around like a maze. *

MZZTtW: Creepy. *Walks down a passage.* Hey, this is really cool, in a creepy sorta way. *Steps on a touchplate, which bears the markings of a skull-and-crossbones. The sinking 'plate makes him lose his balance momentarily, and he drops his laptop.* Oops. Butterfingers. *Bends to pick it up.*

-= SHING! =-

* An axe bigger than Krig's swings down and misses MZZTtW by a hair's breadth. MZZTtW stands up.*

MZZTtW: Ah, there we go. *Steps into an adjoining passage.*

-= SHING! =-

* The axe barely misses him again. *

* As he continues walking, he steps on other touchplates, with effects ranging from firing arrows and fireballs to triggering "Yo' Momma" insults. Each time, he manages to avoid the danger and remains ignorant of it. *

MZZTtW: Y'know, maybe I was wrong about this place. *Unknowing steps on the head of a poisonous snake, killing it right before it would have lunged.* After all, if it is/was in the MFB, it can't be more dangerous than an office complex! *Steps over a pit of lava, almost falling in, but still ignorant.* Hey what's this?

Finally! I get some air-time... Oh? I'm on? *Ahem* MZZTtW has spotted a glowing ring on a pedistal, which, to the trained eye, is another touchplate. But of course, MZZTtW's eye isn't trained.

MZZTtW: Cool. Blue, my favorite color. *Picks it up.*

The long wall directly behind him slides into the floor. Directly behind IT is a long wall of spikes. One glints, just like in dem cartoonies.</ACCENT type="SOUTHERN"> The whole wall creaks and starts moving toward MZZTtW.

MZZTtW: *Peers at an inscription on the wall.* Cool, Aurabesh! I'm glad I paid attention at that video game expo!

The wall of death moves closer...

MZZTtW: It says: "Whoever finds this, beware! The ring you nows posess is the secret of many generations of Writers! It allows the user to directly and radically alter the realm of the Heroes, but no other realms! With it, the user also has the ability to warp betwixt the different realms of Writers, Heroes, and Voice Overs whenever he or she chooses! It is the wish of us, the Ancient Writers(TM) that the obtainer of this ring use it to enrich the world he or she has created." Hmm. 1337. (Yes, I said 1337. )

The wall of death has moved within 2 yards, and will crush MZZTtW in only a few seconds if he doesn't DO SOMETHING!!!

MZZTtW: Shut up you. I'm reading: "P.S. Whoever said 'The pen is mightier than the sword.' never saw the business end of one. -- AncientWriterTheWriter" Ah. How true.

GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!

MZZTtW: *Ignores the narrator* Hmm... now what happens when a put this ring on? *Puts it on and dissappears in a flash of light... and yes, the flash of light is a very cool shade of blue.*

Uh... help? The wall of death seems to have crushed against the other wall... and I'm trapped in-between. Oh, I'm imortal 'cuz I'm the narrator and all that, but I'M STUCK!!! What? How did I get out of the realm of voice overs? It's not important now, JUST GET ME OUT!!!

-=< In the realm of the Heroes >=-

* MZZTtH has, by now, reached the HoH. SemtW is closely following him. *

MZZTtH: What the...?

* MZZTtH has just spotted MZZTtH... or rather, the MZZTtH that has been here since the REAL MZZTtH left. *

MZZTtH: *Eyes FakeMZZT in the eye.* Who are you?!?

FakeMZZT: *Wearing the exact same shocked expression as MZZTtH* Why, I'm MZZTtH.

* MZZTtH Cannot resist the urge to see if FakeMZZT is real, so he touches his hand. Suddenly, the same plot hole that sucked up the writers when JBtW touched JbtH opens up again and swollows FakeMZZT. *

MZZTtH: *Pauses for a second.* . . . Well, that's the end of that...

SebtW: ... No, he's just in the realm of Voice Overs...

MZZTtH: Well, then it's DEFINATELY over.

SebtW: How?

MZZTtH: Impersonators can't survive in the realm of Voice Overs.

SebtW: I didn't know that...

MZZTtH: Of course you didn't. I just made it up.

SebtW: Then why is he dead now?

MZZTtH: Because I said so, and because this is NeS.

SebtW: Ok. Makes sense. But... can you repeat it again?

MZZTtH: *sighs* Because it's less complicated to have two MZZTs running around instead of three, ok? Not to mention it insures no n00bs will try to actually use him.

SebtW: Ah... but then why didn't the fake narrator die when he was there to tie up the REAL narrator?

MZZTtH: He doesn't count.

SebtW: Because you said so. Ah. I see.

MZZTtH: No.

SebtW: ?

MZZTtH: That's not what you say. See? The script here says "SebtW: I R 3NL1G473N3D.".

SebtW: I'm NOT going to degrade myself to say THAT. Who wrote this?!? *Gestures toward the script.*

Director: Don't look at me, I just work here!

SebtW: *sigh*

MZZTtH: Well, anyways... uh... er... what do we do now?

SebtW: What does the script say?

MZZTtH: Er... I lost half of the page.

SebtW: WHAT?!?!

MZZTtH: Hey, in 10-pages worth of traipsing (sp?) around the New Republic, stuff gets messed up.

* As the writer and hero wait around for something to happen, the director and camera crew fade into obscurity, so as to keep n00bs from using them as plot characters as well, whatever a plot may be. *

-=< Across the street, and one floor above the other writers... >=-

MZZTtW: Oof. Rough trip. Hey! I'm in the realm of the Heroes!

* In one glance at his ring his outfit changes from that of beach tourist into Jedi Knight(TM). Outfit with a utility belt with grappling hook, lightsaber, thermal detonators, conc rifle (DF style, of course) and a bunch of other neat stuff. He also gets the complimentary Force(TM) powers.

MZZTtW: *Grinning, lights his saber.* Look out, here comes MZZTtW! Maybe I'll finally bring some sanity to this thread. *Thinks for a second* Nah!

How powerful is the mysterious ring MZZTtW has acquired? Does it have the ability to wipe out all the evil in the realms with one thought? (It better not, 'cuz we plan to go another good 25 pages, right guys?) Will MZZTtW reveal which video game expo he went to to learn Aurabesh?!? What will MZZTtH and SemtW do next? Has the Thingy been damaged by the plot holes?!? Will jEDIkIRBY EVER learn HTML? ( HAR HAR </INSIDE JOKE> ) Will he origin of FakeMZZT ever be revealed?!? MZZTtH: NO *ignores him* Will the Lambda-class shuttle stuck in the side of the MFB change how the pedestrians below feel about a building appearing out of nowhere and landing in their city?!? Will any newbies try to resurect the Director or FakeMZZT?!? When will the fake-narrator recover from MZZTtW's teaching, or will he at all?!? Will anyone ever get me unstuck from this wall of spikes?!? Tune in next post, same time, same thread, for the exciting answers! Don't touch that Address Bar! We'll be back after this moment-of-inactiveness-which-won't-last-too-long-RIGHT-fellas?

[Edit: Fixed some speeling erors and made some sentences clearer... final draft time!]

------------------
Star Trek: The Quake Simulation <-- The most amazing Quake 1/2 level... heck, the most amazing level in general... you'll ever see...

Too bad I have neither

[This message has been edited by The_Mega_ZZTer (edited October 17, 2002).]

RIIIIGHT, fellas?!?

(NSP: If you all bother Ante and Sem enough, I know THEY have a whole lot of ideas that they could use to post...



I'll post myself soon. Make sure to bother Sem and Ante a lot though. 'specially Sem.)

(NSP:I would entitle this post "An Unfamiliar Ceiling", but even I fear the wrath of Gainax.)
*Everything was blurry. Antestarr forced a couple blinks and felt cold moisture roll down his cheeks. The creamy blur started to take shape. Arched ceilings. Mirrors. A bed canopy. Humongous crystalline chandelier. Amidst these new images some background noise droned on. His breathing became much more difficult. It was then he felt the constriction on his throat and the air beneath his feet. The droning became syllabic. Gibberish became language. The world fell into place and he recalled where he was. The constriction on his throat tightened.*

Voice: ... me ask again. Who are you?!

Ante *still groggy*: Nice ceiling...

Voice: I could easily crush your throat right now and be done with you. I've shown more mercy than I normally would for an intrusion. What are you doing here?

Ante: I *wheeze* wanted to know *wheeze* why you have such a better room than *wheeze* me...

*Ante felt himself spun around. He now saw a wall, seeming to grow more distant. Air escaped him in a violent rush as he collided with the opposite wall. Once again staring upward, his eyes fell upon the chandelier. It began to sway back and forth, then started making circles. The crystals melted into steel daggers, as if some kind of abomination from another world.*

Ante: Dang... stupid peyote.... Wait a sec... my peyote was left behind in New Mexico!!

*The daggerlier then started to change once more, assuming the form of a disco ball. It almost seemed to reflect colored lights and carry the echo of "Stayin' Alive."*

Ante: Dalaes... we need to get out of here. Now.

Dalaes: How did you kno...

Ante: NOW!!

Dalaes: Why?

Ante: Unless you want to test the unknown and find it to be excruciatingly painful in lots of nasty nasty ways, I'd suggest just doing it.

Dalaes: And why bring you?

Ante: Because. I'm warning you know, it's dangerous here. I scratch your back, you scratch mine, okay? Now let's get the heck outta here!! *Under his breath* I thought it was still in the theoretical phase...

*Dalaes reluctantly picked Ante up by the waist and approached the door. As he reached for the knob, the entire fixture contorted and reformed as a wicked, grinning, clown face. With nasty sharp pointy teeth. You know the kind. The ones that give you night... er... back to the narration. AHEM Dalaes, stunned by this sudden change, doubled back and leaped for the window. He smashed through and landed in a Blade-like prone position, neglecting Ante, who was now in a toon-like head-partially-in-the-pavement position.*

Dalaes: Hmm... I need to work on my anti-hero-ic efforts...

--------------------

*Back in the room... what was left of the room... a hole opened up and swallowed what appeared to be a monolith. Well, what would have been described as a monolith, had it not been blindingly white.*

*More to come on the NeS Sidestory: The Trouble with Stupid Austrian Hotels... Ok, so it's not as witty as "The Trouble with Tribbles." Someone's not payed enough to be witty all the time...*

(NSP: Some more in-game post-stuff, since I'm a bit dry on any sort of "plot-advancing" ideas.)

Meanwhile, on the Big Giant Ship, Maybechild and Otter stand idle for several moments.

Otter: ...nothing like being lazy.

*More silence*

Maybe: So...up for a game of poker?

Otter: Sure.

*The two play cards.*

B.U.M.P.!

B.U.M.P.'s in a game? ...nevermind. I don't want to know...

*And somewhere, as the scattered and chaotic NeS hero force tries vainly to make sense of the gradually-unfolding evil plot before them, TVLTE begins his campaign of war on the free world, leaving a trail of destruction in his wake...*

NSP: Sorry, I'm tired. Proper, funny post to follow...

-=< In the realm of the heroes... >=-

* MZZTtW, with his new spiffy Ring of Ultimate Writing Power(TM), wanders throughout the MFB, and, in a few minutes, finds the other writers. (Remember he is still outfitted with the cool Jedi stuff he gave himself with the ring.) *

MZZTtW: Hey guys! Check out my cool ring. *Flashes it (nmiaow... I've always wanted to say nmiaow, but my brain has never been twisted enough to find a place where I could say it before )* It gave me this cool gear *hand flourish*.

* The Writers turn from their game of Go Fish *

GebtW: Um... ywah, that's great. Where have you been, anyhow?!? You have 43854 work
hours you missed!

MZZTtW: No... I had 50000 hours vacation time, see? *Whips out the appropriate certificate, proclaiming that "The Mega-ZZTer the Writer is hereby entitled to 50000 hours of vacation time."* See, you signed it and everything.

GebtW: Yes, but we a virus in out computer systems. It seemed only to affect your vacation hours count... I don't think I mentioned it to you.

MZZTtW: Don't worry, I know all about it

GebtW: Well, you still have to put in those 50000 hours of work, sorry... *Hands MZZTtW a BIG stack of paper... then a little light goes on as he analyzes MZZTtW's latest statement* Hmm... waitaminute... did you...

MZZttW: *Quickly* That's not important. But look *'nother hand flourish, which scatters all 43854 sheets of paper about the room* I have the ability to finally destroy all evil with this one ring!

* Unfortunately for him, he is wrong. Because of the nature of the NeS thread, all evil can never be destroyed, because then the thread could never continue forever and ever... so, to save the thread from this inadvertant udder doom, a convienient plot hole opens up and sucks MZZTtW into parts unknown, along with 43854 sheets of paper.*

MZZTtH: #$%^&^%$##$!!!

Max: "and colon semi-colon, too!"

Where will MZZTtH end up?!? How will the Powers That Be manage to decrease the power of the Ring to keep the thread from becoming void of evil but still powerful enough to make some humorous schtuff happen!?!? Tune in for the next NeS: Preserving Evil to Preserve Our Future!

Max: "And if you don't, I'll come out there and rip your limbs off!"

[This message has been edited by The_Mega_ZZTer (edited October 21, 2002).]

(NSP: Again, nothing to advance the story, but I had to post this.)

Powers That Be #1: What if we make it so that the Ring of Ultimate Writing Power(tm) could only make DONUTS?

The other Powers That Be --hold on...

Sem the writer: Gotta stick this one in the AMM. That is, the Acronym Making Machine.

AMM: M.B.S. (multiple buzzing sounds).... S.O.M.S.! (sound of much success)

Sem the writer: Here we go...the "Powers That Be" can now be referred to as the P.T.B. Carry on then.

...right. The other Powers--er--"P.T.B." stare at PTB #1.

PTB #1: What? Donuts are pretty darn cool!

other PTB's: *c.h.s.*(*collective heavy sigh*)

(Brought to you by the B.U.M.P. inc.)

In an open field there stands a ring of stones. Above the stones there hangs a sinister evil. A dark evil. A hairy evil. A bearded evil.

BNNH: Mwuaha! Now those fools will all know the wrath of the Beard Not Named Hank!

Bearded underling: What fools?

BNNH: There are no fools

BU: But you just...

BNNH: It's a standard line! It doesn't actually mean anything! I just say it 'cause I'm a villain!

BU: You're a beard.

BNNH: Beards can be villains!

BU: Only beards named Hank.

BNNK: Now you're just making stuff up!

In the shadows nearby

FFTH: Dude! this is getting way too freaky! We can't fight hair!

FSTYH: Hair matters not! Look at me- judge me by my balding do you? And well you should not! For my hair was prosthetically implanted into a foam-rubber muppet. And a powerful epoxy they used.

FFTH: ...

FSTYH: Look at me in that way do not! Write I do not what is in the script.

------------------
The early bird may get the worm-
but it's the second mouse who gets the cheeze.

Omnia quae specto dominavi, et tantam magnus sum, ut non specto!

Future Ford the Hero and Futur Sem the Yoda Hero continue to discuss the beard

FSTYH: know you not to how defeat the monster?

FFTH:what? hang on... Your Yodaspeak is getting worse and worse. *processes Yodaspeak* oh. no i dont. Never that far i got. oh ****** its contagious!

(NSP: sorry guys i dotn have much to contribute. ill have to think hard on this one. and do a little research.)

Grr... That is just plain mean!

------------------
And finally, the (test) site is:
http://editorsheaven.hypermart.net/jedikirby

NOTE: This post is not intended to become part of the NeS storyline (what's a storyline?) so anyways... it's just a big sorry for the jEDIkIRBSTER.

MZZTtW: Hehe.... oops... I kinda... needed... something... to... releave my writer's block

jktW:

MZZTtW: Ah... help...?

* MZZTtW runs around the room, with jktW chasing him at tremendous speed for a pink thing (TM), shooting fireballs from his mouth at MZZTtW.*

MZZTtW: Well... you see... *A fireball finds it's target* AHH!!!! I mean... *'Nother fireball* ACK...

* jktW finally catches up and inhales MZZTtW. *

MZZTtW: AUGH... what's this? Ew... funky...

* After letting MZZTtW digest a while, jktW, satisfied, spits MZZTtW out and happily waddles on his way. *

MZZTtW: Argh... I will never eat a cream puff again...

Er... jEDIkIRBY... you still mad at me? No? Good! Then everyone is happy and the NeS can continue without the tension of disunity hanging over it's head! Oh joy, I could just... <CENSURED FOR BEING MORE JOYOUS AND HAPPY THAN ANYONE SHOULD EVER BE ALLOWED TO BE>

------------------
Star Trek: The Quake Simulation <-- The most amazing Quake 1/2 level... heck, the most amazing level in general... you'll ever see...

Too bad I have neither

*And now a message from the board of education. What? We have to have sponsors... er... somtimes... you know, the kind that don't involve shooting each other in the head and throwing a bomb into a portal <coughUT2003cough>. Anwyay, on with the announcement.*

Board Member: We, here, at the board of education wish to take a moment to expain to you the rigors of college life. Between the cramming for parties and massive guzzlings of booze and gobs of promiscuous fornication, some people attempt to get what we like to call a "degree." I know, this is merely a secondary objective, but there are still a few tips to help you achieve a flawless mission while out at one of our many diverse campuses... er... campi... or whatever the plural of campus is.

Tip #1) Attend class. Hopefully not hung-over, half-asleep, or missing the lower half of your clothing. I know, it sounds trite, but it actually works sometimes.

Tip #2) Should you slip up with tip #1, talk to your professor. 9 times out of 10 they are heartless evil beings who couldn't care less about a student failing a class, but once in a while you will find one who is willing to listen to your poorly made excuses and will allow you to attempt to rectify whatever damage you have done to your semester.

Tip #3) Attain god-like luck. I know it may be difficult for those of us born unlucky, but there is no greater feeling than turning in a paper 2 days late, only to find out it is actually on time because the class didn't meet at the session when the paper was due.

Tip #4) Try not to give up. Nobody likes a quitter... well, at least hot chicks don't like quitters.

Thank you for your time, patience, and most of all, loads of money for parties... er... "higher education." See you all at graduation.

*This has been a test of the public service announcements of the board of education. Had this been an actual announcement, it would have been preceded by much booing and not had nearly the amusing qualities seen herein. Again, this was only a test. Tune in next time, when Antestarr decides that he wants to make a real post... probably after he sleeps a bit and pleads with his prof's for some pity.*

[This message has been edited by Antestarr (edited October 25, 2002).]

Board Member1: Your telling me I was supposed to gradaute to get jobs like this?
Board Member2:Well,yes. You do need a degree for most jobs
Board Member1:What about bein' a hobo?
Board Member2:Wat the hell are you talking about?
Board Member1:Well i've seen hobos getting tossed money!Didn't they get a degree for that?
Board Member2:Hell no.They just never had enough money to get degrees.
Board Member1:Well i did.
Board Member2:You were a hobo?!
Board Member1:No...I thought we were talking about hookers....

------------------
Nobody listen to techno!-Eminem

*looks around sureptitiously*

*sneaks in*

*sneak-sneak-sneak*

...

...

...!!!!![/b]

B.U.M.P.!

*sneaks back into the shadows*

Theveggiephilosophy: Vegatarians are right...[insert poorly written song here]...eat plants

JediKirby: mmmmmmmmm
pulls out a cunc rifle and blows tvp to the moon, then begins chomping on a QP w/ cheese

AND THE FAT ROBED PINK FLUFFY BLOB W/ A PIGTAIL PROVAILS!!!!!

who da man?

------------------
And finally, the (test) site is:
http://editorsheaven.hypermart.net/jedikirby

[This message has been edited by jEDIkIRBY (edited November 02, 2002).]

Krig: Krig HUngry. Krig want bubble gum.

Krig the Viking looks over to see jEDIkIRBY.

Krig: OOOOO BIG bubble gum. it never lose flavor.

with that krig takes jEDIkIRBY, while he kicks and screams all the while and stuffs him in his mouth.

Krig: MMmmmmmmmmm. *Blows Bubble*


*POP!*

Someone runs in

Someone: OMG, YOU LIEK SO KILLED TEH KURBSTER!

Someone runs out

------------------
And finally, the (test) site is:
http://editorsheaven.hypermart.net/jedikirby

Deep in the heart of the FurbyCo building....

* Ding *

KKtH: "I really should have been making a plan during all that time...Doh...."

The doors of the elevator slowly, ponderously open. The unfortunate Kyle scuttles to the inside corner of the elevator, and sneaks a look around the opening doors. Finding an empty corridor, and humming the James Bond theme to himself, Kyle stealthily crawls out of the elevator, rolls across the hall, and again scans the empty hallway.

Meanwhile, in Purevil's lair...

Purevil: "What is the status of our intruder?"

Meaningless Lackey #2: "Well sir, he's attempting to sneak along our empty hallway, pretending he's James Bond."

Purevil: "Heh heh heh. Excellent. Start recording this, I want this on file for whenever I need a good laugh."

Meaningless Lackey #2: "Yes sir." *fiddles with the futuristic VCR, branded with a large FurbyCo insignia* "You know sir, I joined onto this operation of yours almost 5 weeks ago, and I must say these are the most incompetent heroes I've seen yet!"

Purevil: "Yes well I--"

ML #2: "I mean, I know I'm not any expert on heroes or anything, but I'd like to believe I have a little experience with them, you know?"

Purevil: "Not really I--"

ML #2: "Of course, heroes are always trouble, but it just seems to me like this bunch is especially incompetent, I mean, you remember those guys from Mystery Men? This guy is even worse. If he were to rate his competency on a scale of--"

Purevil: "Now see here, I--"

ML #2: "Sir? Can't I get a word in edge-wise? As I was saying, if he were to rate his competency on a scale of 1 to 10, I'd have to put him down as N/A because he'd have filled in his name, mispelled, instead of a number. Now I--"

* With a push of a button, Purevil sends ML #2 plummeting down a trap door placed conveniently underneath all of Purevil's lackeys. *

Purevil: "I hate interns."

Will our heroes win the day? Will our bad guys ever get competent hirelings? Will I ever get paid? Find out next time on the Never-Ending Story: The Interns Strike Back!

------------------
"What sane person could live in this world, and *not* be crazy?"

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake"

"You can't have everything, where would you put it?"

[This message has been edited by KyleKatarn7 (edited November 03, 2002).]

After some time, Gebohq, Losien, and Lt. Randy manage to bypass security and into the virtual backdoor of the FurbyCo. headquarters control floor, thanks to Jones the cat.

Lt. Randy: Man, was that whole ordeal annoying.

Gebohq: Now what to do from here...

Kyle K. strolls up to the others.

Kyle: Hey guys.

Geb: Hey. Fancy meeting you here.

Kyle: Well, you know how things are with convinient plot devices and all.

The others nod and grunt in understanding.

Kyle: So, got any idea what we're going to do once we find the main control room on this floor?

Geb: Nadda clue.

Kyle: Alright, just checking.

Lt. Randy: Urge to shoot something rising...

Suddenly, Sarn pokes his head into the room.

Lt. Randy: YEAH!!

Lt. Randy raises his weapon, and aims it at Sarn.

Gebohq: No wait, he's a friend.

Sarn: Woah... This isn't my bathroom. Must of taken a wrong turn.

Sarn walks out.

Gebohq: Well that was interesting. Now then, on with the mission!

Everyone cheers.

OoC: Ok, I just read some Douglas Adams, so hopefully I can make a good post here...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........ *WHUMP*

* The sound you just heard is MZZTtW falling through a plot hole into San Fransisco. But in order that some mystery should be preserved about WHY, it will not be revealed how this happened. *

MZZTtW: ow... *Sees someone amongst all the busy people walking about the busy streets* Hey, is that... WILLIAM SHATNER?!? OMQ!!!

* NOTE: "OMQ" is a recently adopted expression at #massassi which means one of two things: "OH MY Q!" (From Star Trek TNG) or "OH MAD QUACK!" To add more mystery to this thread, it will not be revealed which one it is. *

MZZTtW: *out of breath from running* Hey, Mr. Shatner.

Shatner: *grumbles something about "Humpbacked whales" and ignores MZZTtW, walking instead into an aquarium with another man who appears to be Mr. Nimoy.*

MZZTtW: Oh, nm... I guess he's not Shatner... *shrugs* *looks around* Strange... I thought San Fransisco wasn't supposed to be a part of the NeS *plot hole opens below him* Gah... spoke too soon.

* MZZTtW, fortunately, does not land on solid concrete. Rather, he lands on Krig instead. Whether it is Krig the writer or Krig the hero, we will keep to ourselves to further conserve the confus... er, mystery. *

Krig: Ow. Litle man hurt Krig.

MZZTtW: Er.. sorry... plot hole... thingy...

Krig: It ok. Hey, wanna see my bubble gum? It talks!

MZZTtW: Er... *looks at the weird looking gum on Krig's finger*

jk: HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!

MZZTtW: AH! Krig! That's jEDIkIRBY!

Krig: Oh... oops... *puts jk in his mouth again. Chews and starts to make a bubble. jk pops out, restored, but as mad as a sarlacc...

jk: *Somehow inhales Krig, although he is 1/10 Krig's size*

* jk instantly gains a viking hat and an axe, and grows to 10 times his size, before spitting Krig out. *

Krig: Hey! Krig want hat back! And his axe!

MZZTtW: *Can't stop laughing*

What will happen to our heros/writers now? Will jk use his new-gained powers to further the cause of good? Will MZZTtW's ring only spit out donuts the next time he decides to use it?!? Will Krig ever get over the fact that he was beat up by a cream-puff?!?!? Will MZZT EVER update his website?!??! FIND OUT WHEN THE NEXT POST IS MADE!!!!

(Offer not available in NJ. Restrictions may apply. Please see your local FurbyCo representative for details. KTHXBYE.)

------------------
The Mega-ZZTer's Gaming Haven!

New and improved! With a brand new chocolately taste!

[This message has been edited by The_Mega_ZZTer (edited November 07, 2002).]

JK: (loud booming voice) Jedi Kirby Hungry! What...Why is JediKirby talking this way!

Krig: Jedi Kirby, Krig is your father!

JK: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
*JediKirby crawls up through the plot hole and reeks a mad pink fluffy viking rage on the people of San Fransisco, but then see's william sapner on his knees beging that the mighty and wonderful Jedi Kirby doesn't kill him. In the same instence, a milion small 2 feet tall men come and bow before jk claiming him to be the misterious god of...(disclosed for mistery...)*

see if...well, i hate this part, just toon in next time, k? K.

------------------
And finally, the (test) site is:
http://editorsheaven.hypermart.net/jedikirby

Suddenly in the place wherever that beard not named Hank is, i think maybe its Schtonehenge but i partied with the update screen last night and i cant quite see straight...funny colours...purty*smack* GAH! uhg whaa... oh yeah. Anyway, Future Ford The Hero notices something on the ground by a big...wtf is that? a boob? well whatever, that thing that FFTH spots is lying near it. on with the Dialogue

FSTYH: Nerrator is the forked up pretty.

FFTH: Yeah. but hey what is that over by that big...WTF is that anyway? a boob?

FFTH walks over to the...object, and tries to pic up the thing on the ground.

FFTH: WTF! *tries again, and his hand passes through it.* OMQ!!! i cant touch it!

FSTYH: odd this is.

BNNH: Who the hell are you talking to?

FSTYH: Hero Future The Ford. else who?

BNNH: WTF are you talking about, theres no one there!!

FSTYH: *Realization dawning on his face* Boy, oh!

What is this new revelation in the plot of NeS? Why cant Ford pick the thing up? Will Sem ever get a piece of cheese? what is that thing that looks like a boob? he he he boobie... the sky is a sea of multicoloured checkerboards and the tide is coming in...he he he boobies...

...wait, did I just say "plot" and "Never-ending Story" in the same sentence? What was I ON?

B.U.M.P.!

Oh shut up, you ...flatness-challanged acronym! OK, so they're not all winners...

*Sarn walks in again.*

Sarn: Wait a sec... I thought we were storming the control room of... some building or another...

Sarn looks confused

Narrator: You must be new.

Sarn: uhh...

Just go back. It'll be safer in the long run for you.

Sarn: Er...right.

(NSP: Translation--this side-story is nearly done, and it'll be easier for you to join in NeS if you wish when a new one starts up. You don't gotta read all of NeS *though props if you do*, but reading the last page or 2 helps out for grasping the style. If you want more info, you know how to contact me )

NSP:

I have forgotten to mention the #NeS I put up a while ago... only Ford and Geb knew about it.

On irc.holonet.org (same server as #massassi) I have set up #NeS. It will prolly end up serving the same purpose as #massassi (ie pointless discussion) but it will feature the following policies:

- ASCII Art allowed in moderation.
- Slapping scripts (ie "SU_Mega_ZZTer slaps Gebohq around a bit with a large trout. (Attack number: 1337)") are allowed, but no flooding with them, and keep slapping to a minimun if other people are trying to hold a conversation (same with ASCII Art).
- Any regular writers (that I recognize, of course, will get half-op status. This means they get a snazzy % by their name, and they have the power to kick/ban users and voice ppl, but they can't do anything to ops or op themselves.
- Gebohq and anyone he finds worthy will be the only ops, but this rule will not go into effect unless he gets off his jIRC and gets a a real internet relay chat client . (IE he can only talk on #massassi with http://www.massassi.net/chat )
- All others will be granted voice (+) status. All this means is that if thw channel is protected (which it won't be) you can talk. In other words, voice dooesn't make you extra-special .
- No flooding. Period.
- No auto-rejoin. Unless I feel happy.
- Ops have the final say on who get's kicked or banned. Half-ops who abuse their privilages may get de-half-oped. (Hey, that's life...)
- Topic is locked. Only ops (or is it just the channel founder?) can change the topic.
- Other stuff I can't remember...
- The topic is pretty.
- I am the only op as of now. If and when Gebohq joins, I will revert myself to half-op, op Gebohq, change the channel founder to Gebohq, change the e-mail to the appropriate address, and send Gebohq the current channel password, thereby giving up all rights to #NeS.

THAT IS ALL. ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO ME. PEACE.

------------------
The Mega-ZZTer's Gaming Haven!

New and improved! With a brand new chocolately taste!

[This message has been edited by The_Mega_ZZTer (edited November 11, 2002).]

1) This is a test to make sure my account is working again.

2) You *can* join other channels with the applet, as long as they're on the same server; type /join "#channelnamehere" (no "s).

3) hmm, there isn't a 3, but I was just on a roll...

------------------
Nail pierced hands. A wounded side.
This is love.
http://24.166.246.143/writings/ Check this out... please.
Teh Jedisaber

P.S. - kak hates it when people do that.

*JediKirby Continues To Ravage SanFran*

(nsp:

1. This is a list.

2. This is a list with 2 variables in it.

3. This is a really funny list.

4. This is the fourth variable within the list.

5. boblio

6. Yeah, I like lists...)

------------------
And finally, the (test) site is:
http://editorsheaven.hypermart.net/jedikirby

(NSP)


Ah, ty.

Anyways, BTW, I put San Fran in my last story post to give Star Trek a cameo... and I meant to imply in it that the people there were Capt. Kirk and Mr. Spock, NOT the actors Shatner and Nimoy.

</NSP>

------------------
The Mega-ZZTer's Gaming Haven!

New and improved! With a brand new chocolately taste!

Don't kill me Geb.

Please.

um....uh....

JediKirby ravages San Fran

haha

nsp:
*creeps off somewhere*

------------------
And finally, the (test) site is:
http://editorsheaven.hypermart.net/jedikirby

Greetings everyone.

I am a good friend of Geb and now his roomate. I have enjoyed reading this thread and I wanted to try one of my own. Sadly, this was months in the making as I always have about 10 things that need to get done. Anyway, I can guarentee you that this writing was not only spontaneous, but seemed to get laughs from those whom I told it to.

As for me, I am currently going to UMBC (Comp Sci major). I am a huge anime fan and have a giant collection on my comp, so feel free to ask for something. I also love video games. I especially enjoy playing Counter-strike, Jedi Knight(1 and 2) and DDR (Dance Dance Revolution [video game]) in my spare time. Aside from that, the rest of my hobbies/likes are that of any other nerd.

Anyway, I hope you don't find my post comlptely lame as some of the humor will be hard to shun.

<NSP>
Writers note: These new characters were introduced to allow me to bring out my writing without initially using normal characters and acting like I can just waltz in and change the story (although ironically that could probably be more like NeS than it would seem like hurting it). Anyway, as a matter of principal, I have used made up characters with some cameo’s from main NeS characters.

Key:

Mark: Mark Hamill
Mam: Mammoth (The random character/object that Ante likes to throw around)
NA: Neil A. (spell it backwards silly)
GS: Game show host

Enjoy the Post.

</NSP>


<<BEGINNING>>

* Enter Mark Hamill wearing a leather coat and boots

Mark: Hey guys!

* Silence

Mark: Hmm, must be sore throat season; and guess what is best for sore throats?

* More Silence

Mark: Pogs!!

Look, I got 4 slammers and 100 pogs. Now we can all play. Isn’t that radical?

* GS grabs the holder and throws it at Mark. As it hits, it makes the oddest sound.

*POG!*

GS: I always wondered why they called them pogs.

Mark: Not to sound like the party pooper or anything, but why is there a giant piece of floor missing?

NA: *drool* *spit* *snarl*

Mark: In English?

NA: Bah, that’s a genetic problem and you know it! Anyway, I said, “Mammoth was playing DDR and the rest is obvious.”

GS: Someone take that Playstation away from him.

Mark: Yea, so we can play more pogs!!

*Mammoth knocks Mark unconscious, chains him to his bed, and bolts the door behind him.

Mam: I’m assuming it was my turn to shut him up?

GS: I guess, he never seems to get a clue that we are using him for the money he made from Star Wars. I keep telling him, don’t PRESS YOUR LUCK.

Mam: I’ll go get replacement boards for the floor…

* NA heads of to work

* GS looks around slowly. Emerged in silence and solitude, he puts in a porno tape and relaxes on the couch.

GS: Man, I wish I could show her what’s behind MY curtain #1.

Mark: Ooh, ooh, I wanna see what’s behind curtain #1!!!

* Startled, GS quickly turns the tape off and collects himself.

* GS grumbles as he grabs Mark’s lightsaber from the corner it was in.

GS: Grr… Mark! Mark! Look at the pretty lightsaber, go get it!

* GS throws the lightsaber out the window.

* Mark quickly runs out the door with his tongue out for comic effect.

GS: *sigh*, I need new friends.

Moments Later

* GS lays down on the couch to take a nap


* The door swings open dramatically. A semi-thick fog emerges from the floor and slowly rises filling the room. A heavy breathing echoes on the walls, and a slight chill seems to run through the room. A green circle of light can be seen faintly and then begins to grow.


MH (deep voice): If only you knew the POWAH, of the COOL side.


GS: *snore*

*MH suddenly drops and passes out not knowing that the smoke he used was actually dork repellant.

*Curtain Falls

<<INTERMISSION>>

* A ghetto-rigged black sign on two ropes with the word “Intrmison” written on it slowly drops one side at a time until it gets about 1/4 of the way down.

The sign promptly loses one of its strings and starts to swing.

It continues to swing until finally the second string gives-way and hurdles toward a random male audience member.

Out of nowhere, Geb swings in on a mysterious vine and grabs the audience member out of harms way without a millisecond to spare; defying all means of physics, logic, plot AND character.

Geb drops the audience member to a safe place and swings himself up to a nearby balcony.

He glances over once more at the defect sign with the name “Ares” carved on the back.

Audience #1: Who was that masked man?

Audience #2: Stupid, what mask? You could see his face.

Audience #3: It looked like Geb, but it couldn’t be Geb. He’s with Lt. Randy, Losien, and Kyle in the BurbyCo HQ.

Audience #2: But, if it was Geb, then he must be a pretty fast runner.

Meanwhile...

Semievil: What do you think of the n00bs?

Antestarr: They could be worse. Shaq could be with them.

Krig: Krig don’t like n00bs. Vendor sold Krig this playboy, but there no pretty women in these.

Semievil: Um, that’s a playbill.

Krig: Krig just glad there no naked Bill in it then.

Highemperor: Well, I don’t like this one bit. In fact, I’m pulling the plug.

* Pulls plug

* A flashy neon sign outside of the building with the letters “NeS” (to save money) starts to flicker and shuts off.

Antestarr: Now you’ve done it, you ended NeS. You do see the gigantic and obvious irony here don’t you.

* A bright flash of light spreads through the room and a spiral galaxy with a diameter of about 5 feet and 2 arms sticking out of it floats down towards our heroes. It introduces itself as the <EXCEL SAGA> “Great Will of Macrocosm” </EXCEL SAGA>

GWoM: Now now. We can’t have you ending a never ending story. It just wouldn’t work out at all, not to mention that the characters would strike to the union. With my power we shall reset the mistakes together.

* The characters find themselves in their seats again as the second act seems to be starting up.

And yet another pretends that they are better than the Narrator

Erik the Writer: Shut up, Narrator!

* Curtain rises

* Mammoth enters with the new floor boards and turns on the TV.

TV: “We now return to the TV premiere of NeS: The Movie

<<Movie>>

Geb: Want a donut?

Antestarr: B.U.M.P

Geb: Fine, how about you Semievil?

Semievil: B.U.M.P.

* Great director Geb walks out in front of the camera while it continues to film.

G-DG: Grr, can’t anyone here post.. eer, say something aside from B.U.M.P.? Am I teh only one who cares? Wait, did I just say “teh” IRL?

: wait… IRL…. Sux0r!!......

:………………… Fine, be that way.

Antestarr: B.U.M.P.

<<END MOVIE>>

TV: Due to a lack of interest, despite the fact that this is a premiere and we can’t have possibly gotten your feedback that quickly, this movie is being BUMPED for the paint-drying contest.

* Mammoth changes the channel

TV: “Artex, nooooooo!”

* Mammoth quickly turns the TV off

Mam: Who would’ve though that two movies with the same name, no plot, and not a good ending in site would both be showing at the same time. Hey GS, did you wanna go to the unemployment office with me?

GS: Sure.

* They leave together

<<SETTING: Unemployment Office”>>

GS: Hey look, its Neil A. What’s up little man?

NA: I’m moving out, and getting a new job with friends who are more NORMAL.

GS: Well, that’s too bad… Be sure to take home a copy of our home game.

* GS hands Neil A. a copy of NeS the board game.

* Neil A. shudders and walks away.

Mam: Somehow, this is all Mark’s fault.

GS: Well, you can pog him later then.

* They leave the unemployment office with annoyance and questions. Little did they know what they have gotten themselves into.

[This message has been edited by erik_otaku (edited November 20, 2002).]