Ares, now backed into a corner, for some reason or another, begins to hear voices...

MZZT(AresMindVoices): Remember sugar dumpling! SUGAR DUMPING!

Ares(To Himself): No, I WILL NOT LET IT BE KNOWN!

MZZT: DUMPING! SUUUUUGAR DUMPLING!!!!!!!

Ares: AHHHHHHHHH!

Ares gets up, with his power visibly surrounding him...

Ares: I'm sorry maevie, but I WILL NOT LET THE SECRET BE KNOWN!

Ares dives into maevie, tossing her down the stairs. She gracefully lands, as if not even harmed by the attack.

Ares continues, in a fit of rage, to punch, kick, and otherwise bruise maevie. However, no matter what he does, it seems to do no damage.

Then CM pops in...

CM: ARES! What, IN THE HELL, are you doing?!?!

Ares: I'M FIGHTING MAEVIE, COME HELP ME!

CM: Are you on drugs? Maevie is fighting MZZT! I came here to get your help! All your doing is punching the wall!

Ares looks where he was punching, and notices quite a large dent in the wall. He then realizes it was all an illusion...

Ares: That's some serious magic. I could have sworn she was here.

CM: We must be quick! MZZT can't hold her off for long!

Ares: Right, lets go!

The pair run off down the hallway MZZT took, only to hear screams of MZZT in pain. What will happen to MZZT? What kind of magic was that illusion? Was it even an illusion? STAY TUNED!

------------------
"The future is not determined by a throw of the dice, but is determined by the conscious decisions of you and me."
I am addicted to ellipses!!! AHHH!!! ...

[NSP: <CoolMatty> BTW: Anyone posts before me, I shoot on the spot ]

------------------
The Mega-ZZTer's Gaming Haven! - Under Construction
NEW! PHP implementation underway!
Website is working again. (Somewhat.)

Ares and CM charge in to see MZZT being held up in the air by maevie/DS...

MZZT: Gak, cough!

Maevie: This is where you die, hero.

Suddenly, a fire needle flies in, stabbing maevie in the wrist. MZZT falls to the ground, and in his place, is Ares, ready to fire an all-out blast of energy, right in Maevie/DS's face

MZZT: *cough*wait! No! It's maevie inside! Don't kill her*cough*Please!

Ares's energy blast fires off, hearing MZZT just a moment too late. The blast hits Maevie point blank, throwing her 50 feet away into a wall, and pretty much demolishing everything in the path of the blast.

MZZT: MAEVIE!!!!

Ares: What... have I done?

Suddenly, a noise is heard from the demolished wall...

Maevie/DS: DO YOU REALLY THINK I COULD BE DEFEATED THAT EASILY?!

An explosion occurs, throwing concrete in every direction. CM casts Firewall in front of the three, to shield themselves from the projectiles...

Ares: How? That was my most powerful blast! Am I getting weaker?

CM: We can't let her recover. Quick, everyone, we must fight her.

MZZT: We can't do that! It's really maevie inside! The real maevie would never do this!

CM: We don't have much choice in the matter!

Ares: If we bring her to the brink of death, Darkside should leave her body, so that he isn't destroyed along with her. If we can get her that weak, we might be able to save her life, and defeat, for the moment, Darkside....

MZZT: It's too risky.

CM: It's the only plan we've got MZZT. We have to go with it.

MZZT: Fine! But if either of you kill her...

CM: It'll be fine. We all want to keep her alive MZZT.

CM casts firesmoke. The entire room is full of a thick dark smoke. MZZT slips behind Maevie, and kicks her straight into the air. Ares, already in the air waiting, puts all of his energy into a flying kick, throwing Maevie towards the ground at almost MACH 1 speeds.

Maevie, yet again, doesn't even touch the ground. No matter what damage the trio do to her, it doesn't seem to be enough.

Geb: Let me handle this!

All three spin around, to see Geb standing there, with some object behind his back.

Geb: Move out of the way, NOW!

The trio jump out of the way just in time, as a pie comes hurtiling towards Maevie...

Maevie: Ha, it'll take more than that!

Using only energy, the pie is stopped in it's tracks. But then, using the blind spot caused by the previous incoming pie, another one is thrown at her, and hits her directly in the face.

Maevie/DS: AHHHHHH! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! AHHHH!

Geb: Behold, the last remaining evil pie. Used on an evil person, who knows the consequences....

Evil power flies in all directions. Suddenly, the soul of Darkside is seen flying at high-speed away from Maevie and the group. Maevie immediately falls to the ground.

MZZT: Maevie! Are you alright! Speak to me!

CM: Com'on Maevie, be with us!

Geb: I think she's unconscious. We have to get her to a hospital.

The group runs back to the Missle Boat...

MZZT: Geb, you take her to the hospital. There's not enough room for all of us. We'll find our own way out.

Geb: Right. Good luck...

All 'cept Geb: You too...

The missle boat lifts off to the hospital, leaving Ares, CM, and MZZT at Big Ben aka HoH. Will they make it out alive? Will Maevie live? STAY TUNED!


------------------
"The future is not determined by a throw of the dice, but is determined by the conscious decisions of you and me."
I am addicted to ellipses!!! AHHH!!! ...

MZZT: ... Wait what have I done... THAT'S MY PRIZED CUSTOMIZED MISSILE BOAT!!!

Inside the Missile Boat

WAI: Hello.

Geb: Who the heck are you?

This short post brought to you by boredom.

------------------
The Mega-ZZTer's Gaming Haven! - Under Construction
NEW! PHP implementation underway!
Website is working again. (Somewhat.)

The air in London had never been so coarse, so fine. JediKirbyTheWhite let out a breath of mist, taking form as it left his small mouth, only do disappear just as quickly as it had came. JKtW looked across London from high up on the carriage, the little cliché man, with his top hat, his black cloak sitting in the front, urging the horses along. Windows lit with the fires of families, of bachelors, and of widowers. None new what evil was going on just at that moment. None of them knew what sacrifices were being made just so they could all continue living in the world. JKtW shook his head in sadness, then looked up from the horse drawn carriage...

JediKirby The White Ante!

Ahead in the distance, Ante stood behind the heroes, their backs turned, the sweet smell of Pie hung in the air. JKtW jumped from the taxi, yelling to the driver to halt. JKtW drew his White staff, and dived next to Ante...

JediKirby The White Ante! What’s come over them!

Ante I... I don’t know... SAVE MY RAMEN!

JediKirby The White Wait... Are they saying...

EvilHeroes We are Darkside and not the Heroes, we are not under the influence of Pie any longer, Darkside is in control of us... raaaw

JediKirby The White Oh dear... this isn’t good. Ante, I’ll distract them. I need you to run. Run as far and quickly as you can. Get to the Hall of Heroes, take This to Gebohq... No one else. Gebohq MUST have it... do you understand?

Ante But... I can’t hold my Ramen AND that... uh... Thing...

JKtW looks down at the important object, everything resting on its parched pages... The Hall of Heroes, The Heroes, Gebohq... And most importantly, Janitor Bob. JKtW then looks up, noticing the bowl of shining golden noodles, the cold night seeming so much warmer with the Ramen so close. He obviously had to make a sacrifice for something so great...

JediKirby The White closed his eyes, focusing his newly gained powers on the object, he whispered words of incantation, the world around slowing, nothing but him and the object, orbiting each other in time and space, relying only on each other to exist. The object fell to the ground, now materialized as a mere golden ring. The One Ring.

JediKirby The White Take it.

Ante Guys don’t wear Jewelry...

JediKirby The White TAKE IT!

Ante reaches down, placing the ring on his finger, he feels the magic of a thousand mages, the wisdom of a million wisemen, and the femininity of billions of women overtake him. Ante fell to the ground (The Ramen is fine, don’t worry) rolling over, Millions of pieces of knowledge, Thousands of pounds of strength, billions of months of PMS poor into him. Ante finally stops wriggling, his small body seems stronger. His once weak Ramen Noodle focused mind becomes everknowing. His once male hormones become much more feminine. Ante became... The One Ring Barer.

Ante I now understand...

JediKirby The White Good. Now go, and materialize the object from the ring with these 3 words.

Whispers

Ante Giggles, then gets a serious look...

Ante Right...

JediKirby The White Anything else before I stop the Evil Heroes, that just conveniently began having a wonderful conversation?

Ford Oh... My... God, EvilJBob, Where in the WORLD did you get those FABULOUS shoes!? Oh, they’re just darling!

JBob I made them myself Actually, I’ve been watching Martha Stewart lately, the woman is a crafting genius! I’ve got an entire outfit that I made, that matches these shoes!

They Trail Off

Ante ... Yeah... Right... Anyways... Yeah, there was one thing... THIS IS SO FRIGGIN SWEET!

JediKirby The White Just go...

JediKirby The White dives in the middle of the Evil Heroes as Ante runs past them in a full on feminine gallop.

Meanwhile, back at the Hall formerly of Heroes, Bill Gates stands on the balcony, completely unaware that he just let Gebohq Escape, and that his only protection in this entire scenario is Darkside...

Just then, The dark figure from JKtW’s warnin, round in shape steps up behind Gates...

Dark Figure Mr. Gates...

Gates *Turning Around* Who is it...?

Dark Figure Someone with information... And a small tool that may be of use to you...

Gates Tool?

Dark Figure This...

The Dark Figure draws from his cloak, a small parchment. Gates accepts the document, then draws his graphing calculator from his backpack, he types the letters into the computer, then runs his program he wrote from scratch. The program processes for a moment, then divulges the entire message into Binary, Gates’ native tongue. The message read...



What is this strange crap JK the Writer is trying to pull on us!? What’s with all of the Kirby shaped people!? Can’t JK the Writer write about someone BESIDES himself!? And why does he always abuse me? I’m just an otherworldy voice, NOT his *****! Why don’t you all just tune in next time, jeez!

[Edit]That didn't work right...[/edit]

------------------
"I was driving along listening to the radio, when Judas Priest comes on. It was 'You've got another thing coming.' All of a sudden, I enter 'VICE CITY RAMAGE MODE' and nearly ran some guy over"
- ]-[ellequin

[This message has been edited by jEDIkIRBY (edited September 23, 2003).]

In the realm of the writers... (yeah yeah, it's been awhile...)

MZZTtW: Kirb, wth are you doing? You KNOW the script for NeS is supposed to be spontaineous!

JKtW: Er... I thought it was a good idea at the time... d-_-b

MZZTtW: Bah. I always knew hiring a ball of pink as a writer was trouble... just don't mess up the HoH Geb/MZZT/CM/Area/DarkSide thing, ok?

JKtW: d-_-b

MZZTtW: And don't make your character so cool! Mine isn't that cool... er... *shifteyes*

JKtW: d-_-b

MZZTtW: GAH! Wake UP!!!

JKtW: dO_ob

MZZTtW: *sigh* Never mind...

------------------
The Mega-ZZTer's Gaming Haven! - Under Construction
NEW! PHP implementation underway!
Website is working again. (Somewhat.)

ShadeTW pokes his head over the cubicle wall to glare down at MZZTTW
"could you keep it down? some of us are trying to sleep...er, think! yeah, think!"
MZZTTW:"who're you?"
ShadeTW:"I am the bane of all Readers! I am the appendix of NeS! I am...Shade...The Writer! wraa! fear me! cower before my awe-inspiring posting format!"
MZZTTW:"uhm...are actually a member of the staff, or did you just sneak in here for the cookies?"
ShadeTW:"there are cookies?! since when?!"

------------------
New from the makers of Air in a Box!
ever find yourself in the middle of the desert, wishing you had been able to pack a gallon of water? well, now you can, with, Dehydrated Water! just add water

*Meanwhile, in the middle of all the excitement-*

Random Audience Member: What excitement?

*Eh?*

Random Audience Member: You said 'in the middle of all the excitement'...what excitement? Every plot line (if you can call them as such) is utterly confusing and nonsensical!

*Er...*

James Earl Jones: Heads up!

*Random audience member swings about just in time to be decapitated horribly by a red lightsaber. Thank you, Mr. Jones. We continue;*

*while all this hullabaloo had been transpiring, the immortal soul of The Last True Evil had been travelling. From its body's final resting place under that fateful shady tree in the park, up through the azure sky, to the afterlife.*

TLTE: Ahh...peace at last...

*What afterlife, you say? Is there a God? A Buddha? Who was more accurate in describing our final resting place; the Rastafarians or the Zoroastrians? Our answer; you won't find out in this post. Non-committal vagueness is our specialty. Anyway, for the sake of an attempt at a plot, TLTE floats to 'Heaven', where a Higher Being awaits him at the entrance.

Higher Being: Name?

TLTE: The Last True Evil.

Higher Being: Full name, please.

*TLTE's soul looks about itself, nervously.*

TLTE: *sigh* The Last True Evil Springfield-Wesson.

*The Higher Being raises an eyebrow, or at least, the higher being equivalent.*

HB: 'Springfield-Wesson'? I was lead to believe that you were of Russian descent...

TLTE: *greater sigh* I was a love-child of Rasputin and a prostitute. Neither of them stuck around, so I named myself based on my birthright; weaponry...

HB: Is that a fact?

TLTE: Da.

*The Higher Being consults his higher being-esque file, ticking off a higher state of checklist with a superior being of a pen.*

HB: Well, TLTE, it appears there is a problem. You see, we cannot allow you into 'Heaven'.

*TLTE sighs. He suspected that for his numerous indiscretions as a Russian super-spy, he would go to purgatory, but he had...*

TLTE:...I had hoped against hope that my final moments would...redeem me?

HB: Ah, yes...you're the martyr. *wry smile* You've given us higher entities a marvellous show, you know.

TLTE: Really?

HB: Well, it beats the **** out of Higher Checkers any old day of the week.

*A pause.*

HB: Yes, your love for...Losien? Yes, Losien. Your brief affection for her, and your heroic sacrifice to save...who was it..

TLTE: Gebohq?

*The Higher Being winces.*

HB: Ah yes. How could I forget? There are many that cannot wait until he finds his way up here. But regardless; for saving these two, who are essentially good souls, you too are redeemed. But.

TLTE: But?

HB: But. But you see, there is a problem.

TLTE: I had thought you might say that.

HB: It appears as if, down below, all is not well. Rather than your sacrifice beginning a new era of peace in the NeS, the panic that once consumed us with jediKirby's antics has been replaced by something even more sinister.

TLTE: What? Don't leave me hanging...

HB: Look at this, for starters...

*The Higher Being hands TLTE a copy of the intercepted letter sent to Bill Gates, a few posts earlier.*

TLTE: ...but I didn't write this?!

HB: Exactly.

TLTE: A dreadful plot is unfolding here! I've set into motion events that could destroy the world of NeS!

HB: Perhaps. But all is not so grim yet. The Heroes are divided and warring because of Darkside's pie machinations, and Gebohq is still off the radar, but we're willing to offer you the chance to redeem yourself, go down and save them all.

TLTE: But...I'm dead!

HB: So it would appear.

TLTE: I died a hero's end, I can't return! It's a phony plot schtick that'll totally cheapen the only meaningful moment that the NeS ever had!

HB: We'll give you cool angelic powers.

TLTE: Beam me down, tovarish.

HB: Wait, there's more. You can't do this alone.

TLTE: No? Why not? I'm a valiant fighter with espionage experience and the-

HB: This is exactly the problem. You're too serious.

TLTE: Eh?

HB: For a NeS character, I mean. You keep trying to turn the story into an epic-epic. You need a comic foil.

*The Higher Being waves, and the gates fly open. Out of the impressive clouds and smoke comes a man dressed in a standard heroes' black overcoat combination, but with a giant red "A" on the front and back of his shirt. He unfortunately ruins the magnificence of the moment by munching on a piece of charred toast. He walks up to TLTE, obviously disoriented.*

Man: I had dreamed...HEY!

TLTE: What?

Man: Care for some toast? It's wonderful stuff *whispers* when its not tearing out your throat, that is...

TLTE: Huh?

Man: Toast; eat it before it eats you, that's my philosophy. Oh, and don't double-dip. Say, have you seen Muuurgh? Or Wuss? Or Lomin Ale....Bringdeath, maybe...

TLTE: Who is this idiot?

*The HB laughs, in a very ethereal higher fasion.*

HB: The Last True Evil, meet Absolver.

*Absolver smiles, nods, then growls at his half-eaten toast and tosses it away, chasing after it immediately and pouncing.*

HB: We found him in a collapsed thread over at the Command Chamber, screaming for fulfillment. We took him here, unsure of where to put him. Finally, it seems, he has found his niche.

TLTE: You expect me to save the world with him helping me?

HB: Don't worry about Absolver. He's been in many a fierce battle, and somehow turns out OK.

*TLTE turns his gaze to his new partner, who is currently locked in a heated battle to the death with his piece of toast.*

TLTE: He must have been through quite some trauma.

HB: Nah. He's always like that.

Absolver, a reputed hero with a penchant for toast-related action, joins the NeS roster as TLTE enlists his aid to save the day. But can even these two, er..valiant men help the frankly helpless situation back on earth? Actually, I don't know. I'm asking you.

In the Neverending Tower, Highemperor is - hey, what's this? A force screen is set up around his desk? I can't get through! Dangit! ARGH! My omnipotent power is being undermined! Noooooooooo!

Highemp: *munching* Care for a donut?

Sure. *munch* Mmm. . . thanks. *goes off elsewhere, probably to bother Gebohq*

Highemp: *whispers crazily to himself as he hunches over his computer in his cramped cubicle* Very interesting. I'm cataloguing all the most powerful, the most evil, and the most pure of heart and hungry of stomach throughout the entire OmNicron. I've discovered that all these things can be found in NeS. Let's update my list.

-----

Highemp's List

MOST POWERFUL

donuts - this is the primal hunger at the core of all living things

Editorship - The position of Editor over all the OmNicron.

MOST EVIL

Darkside 3000 - Darkside from the year 3000, appearing on page 50, according to JK the White's FSotNeS (Future Script of the NeS)

High Imp - Ruler of the Tenth Hell, more evil than Jar Jar Binks, Matthew Pate, Bill Gates, or even *gasp* Gettle's Keyboarding Teacher.

MOST PURE OF HEART AND HUNGRY OF STOMACH

Gebohq - Hands down. Well, for the hungry of stomach part, anyway, which of course is all that counts

-----

Highemp: Hmmm. . . now this can be worked to my advantage, I simply know it can.

-----

In the wherever-Geb-and-MZZT-are. . .

Maeve: *vomits*

Geb: Yes! She's awake! Maeve, are you alright?

Maeve: ... Stop leaning over me, that's why I vomited in the first place.

Geb: Oh.

Suddenly a portal opens, and through it, Highemp's face can be seen.

Highemp: Hear me, ye heroes that yet remain. I yet live. And though the others yet live under Darkside's spell, there is yet hope for them. And yet-

MZZT: Shaddap with the yet's already!

Geb: Highemp! *rushes to hug Highemp through the portal, and he (Highemp) comes crashing down through the portal in a most undignified manner*

Highemp: *picking himself and dusting himself off* *dryly* Thanks, Geb. That's all I needed right now. My grand entrance SPOILED thanks to your-

Maeve: *vomits again* *on Highemp's shoes* *on purpose*

Highemp: *glare*

Geb: Alright, enough, people, let us keep the peace.

MZZT: Okay, fine. Let's get going to save the heroes. I know how to cure them.

Highemp: Yes, but there is a quicker way. The evil pies - which are in fact, purely feel-good pies, as you know, MZZT - can be counteracted by doughnuts*!

-----

*This was the importance to the plot of the correct spelling of doughnut by Geb earlier.

-----

Geb: Whee! That's great!

Suddenly a golden sheen can be seen coming from the sky - or ceiling, if they're inside; I'm too lazy to check - and two figures appear, both winged in haloes of light, grand and epic they are, when-

*CRASH*

TLTE: Oof.

Absolver: *crashing into Maeve* Oops. Sorry, mate.

Geb: Absolver! *runs to hug him but is stopped by Highemp*

Highemp: You can't just go around hugging people all day, Geb. It slows us down.

Geb: Hey, bucko, YOU'RE the one who said I was most pure of heart.

Absolver: Sup, mate?

TLTE: Kindly shut up, man, while I explain our mission to these mere mortals.

Highemp: *bristling* I am no mere mortal, and you'd best remember that.

TLTE: Da, Da, whatever. Anyway, ol' Saint Pete told us what we had to do, and that's to-

Highemp: Stop the coming Zero Hour?

TLTE: Well, I was gonna say stop Darkside and TFFE, THEN stop Zero Hour, but yeah.

Absolver: Hey, how'd ya know?

Highemp: I know many things. As I said, I am no mere mortal.

TLTE: *whispers to Highemp* You might wanna tone down the seriousness bit just a tad. Or you'll get stuck with someone like Absolver.

Highemp: Huh?

TLTE: Nothing. Forget it.

Geb: Anyhow, we need to get to Stonehenge. Galrek should have everyone gathered by now.

TLTE: No problem, I'll teleport us there. What's the use of cool angelic powers if you don't get to use them?

-----

Two seconds later, the entire group appears miles in the sky above Stonehenge.

Highemp: *to TLTE, watching Geb, MZZT, Absolver, and Maeve fall* Perhaps it might be wise to remember that not everyone can fly.

TLTE: Right. *dives down to catch them*

Highemp: *sigh* Why are the dumb ones always the ones chosen by destiny?

Because it's always funnier when the dumb ones are the ones chosen by destiny.

Highemp: No one asked you. *zooms down to the ground, where the others have made it quite safely, thanks to TLTE's timely catch*

Well, the others except Absolver. He slammed into the ground and went six feet under.

Geb: He's dead?

MZZT: Again?

Maeve: Good riddance.

No, I mean he went six feet under. The ground. You know? Underground?

Highemp: NOW do you see what I mean, Narrator?

Yeah, yeah, rub it in, why doncha?

Highemp: *smirk* I was.

Dr. Dormouse: *poking head above ground from hole Absolver made* Oh, hallo. You'll never believe what I just found!

MZZT: Absolver, dead as a doornail?

TLTE: *holds breath*

Dormouse: No.

Highemp: An anti-Euclidean geometrical pattern detailing the intricacies of the universe?

Dormouse: Well, yes, but that's not what I was talking about.

Geb: Donuts?

Everyone turns to look at Geb.

Geb: Hey, just asking.

Dr. Dormouse: Actually, that's exactly what I found.

Geb: Yes! Score one for ol' Geb!

Maeve: Considering you've had 49 pages of trying, that's not too good.

Geb: Hush you.

Everyone descends into the hole, where they discover a huge complex in the center of the ancient underground city Dormouse discovered. The buildings and towers are crafted entirely out of brick, stone, and dirt, yet have held up throughout the eons thanks to incredibly advanced plot-hole-stabiliziation technology (PHS tech). A pattern traced in plotlines is woven through the air up into the aboveground Stonehenge area itself.

Galrek has rounded up Antestarr and JK the White, and they are waiting with Dr. Dormouse and a very black and bruised Absolver.

Geb: You should be dead!

Absolver: I AM dead. That's why I can't die.

Highemp: 'It is given once to a man to die, twice to be judged, and no more.'

*smacks Highemp on the head for bringing a religious quote into the story*

Highemp: Sorry.

There is also an ancient bakery just beyond the plotline pattern, filled with doughnuts.

Maeve: So what is all this?

JK the White: Behold the great realm and druidic city Doughnutdelf.

Maeve: Riiiight. And that means what?

Highemp: The ancient druids of Britannia were wise beyond measure. They knew that doughnuts - not donuts, mind you, but DOUGHNUTS - were the ultimate force in the universe. Thus they built the world's finest bakery here, and constructed this plotline pattern with their PHS technology to make a universal Weave by which no one could ever surpass their doughnuts, and they would conquer all time and space.

MZZT: If what you say is true, then why DIDN'T they conquer all time and space?

JK the White: Well, two kids came along and tossed the baker in the oven.

Galrek: Two kids?

Antestarr: *lazily* Surely you've heard of the story "Hansel and Gretel"? Based on fact, though the druids did NOT eat children, so don't worry.

Maeve: *huffily* I wasn't.

Dr. Dormouse: But do you understand that scientific significance of this? A non-Euclidean geometry governs the cosmos! Why-

As he rants on, everyone ignores him.

Geb: So my instincts to gather at Stonehenge were right on the money.

Highemp: As they say, follow your stomach. Now, all that remains is to USE these doughnuts to cure the other heroes!

------------------
Quest on epic adventures or duel at the High Citadel!

[This message has been edited by Highemperor (edited September 25, 2003).]

MZZT: I say we call a dump truck.

Geb: No! They're mine! All mine! *dives into huge pile of doughnuts*

MZZT: *shakes his head* He'll get over the shock once he gets full.

maevie: A dump truck? Why not lure all the affected heroes here somehow?

TLTE: I can move the doughnuts with my angelic powers!

Highemp: I can send them through a plot hole so they end up at the HoH!

CM: I say we upload them to my server and download them at the HoH!

...

CM: Hey, anything's possible with NeS!

TLTE: What about Absolver? Doesn't he have anything to suggest?

Everyone turns to see Absolver, munching on a doughnut.

Absolver: Er... lost my toast. *munch munch*

Ares: I can just use my super god-of-war powers to make these doughnits FLY!

Ares uses his super god-of-war powers to make the doughnuts FLY!

CM: GAH!! What the HECK are you doing!

Geb: Oh no! I'm stuck! Heeeeelp!!!

Geb floats away with the huge mountain of doughnuts... they burst a hole in the ceiling, and begin to fly away...

ALL: WTF

Ares: Er...

MZZT: Sugar.

Ares: Wait!

MZZT: Dumpling.

maevie: Eh? Sugar WHAT?!?!

Ares: Um!!! I like sugared dumplings... anyways, the doughnuts are flying toward the HoH, never fear!

All: -_-

Dr. Dormouse: Amazing! Flying doughnuts... *takes out a clipboard and furiously beigns to record his observations*

WAI: Uh... what just happened?

------------------
The Mega-ZZTer's Gaming Haven! - Under Construction
NEW! PHP implementation underway!
Website is working again. (Somewhat.)

[This message has been edited by The_Mega_ZZTer (edited September 25, 2003).]

after having made his way through countless tunnels, Galrek finally finds his way into Doughnutdelf, just in time to watch the enourmous mound of doughnuts go floating away

Galrek:"do you have to do that? I know what I'm doing. and besides, those aren't countless tunnels, there are approximately 231.3 give or take a hundredth of a tunnel."

you know it, but the readers don't. and how can you have 3/10s of a tunnel?

Galrek:"that last one was really small. now, will you shut up and let me do some plot advancing?"

yeah, yeah, yeah...

still slightly perturbed by the floating mound of doughnuts, Galrek stumbles over to trip over Dr. Dormouse and falls down, landing flat on his face at maeve's feet.

"ouch"

------------------
New from the makers of Air in a Box!
ever find yourself in the middle of the desert, wishing you had been able to pack a gallon of water? well, now you can, with, Dehydrated Water! just add water

Suddenly, out of no where, a plot hole appears under shade, sucking him in, bringing him to the last time he posted

Shade Where am I?

Ghost of the Past You're at the last time you posted, see how it's all pushed together?

Shade Um... Yeah?

Another Plot Hole sucks Shade in, bringing him to the present

Ghost of the Present This is your current post, notice how it's spaced evenly?

Shade You know, now that you mention it...

Once again, a plot hole sucks Shade in, bringing him to the future, where the 'Shade-posts library' stands. On one side of the library is a sign above lots of books, the sign reads 'Shades Posts, A.S.' while the other side of the library houses 1 large book lying open on a pedestal. The type on the book is completely scrunched together, the only spacings between lines is the author's decencies to space between posts. Above this book is a sign, reading 'Shade's Posts, B.S.'

Shade B.S.? A.S.?

Ghost of the Future Before Spacing, and After Spacing. See, before spacing was BS, after spacing wasn't. Now, if you want to keep with the BS, change the post you just made. Or you could continue along a path of well spaced posts, making your posts worth reading. The choice is yours.

Shade So, I can either make more BS, or I can make more AS. What's AS?

Ghost of the Future Where'd that plothole go!?

What's this!? Shade spaces out his posts! Suddenly the good writer is revealed from the mangled posts of words without spacing... is this a new trend of AS? Or will the BS Continue!? It all relies on Shade's decision! Find out next time Shade posts, on The NeS Thread!

------------------
"I was driving along listening to the radio, when Judas Priest comes on. It was 'You've got another thing coming.' All of a sudden, I enter 'VICE CITY RAMAGE MODE' and nearly ran some guy over"
- ]-[ellequin


[This message has been edited by jEDIkIRBY (edited September 25, 2003).]

In the writers' realm...

MZZT the writer is in his cubicle, on his computer, working hard on another post for NeS.

MZZTtW: Hmm.. do de doo... woo! Rancor!

shadetW: MZZT!

MZZTtW: WRAAA *Alt-F4s* I was NOT playing Jedi Academy!

shadetW: Sure. Whatever. Did you read what Kirb wrote about my writing style?!?!

MZZTtW: Oh, yeah, I was thinking about talking to him again. He makes an NeS script... quite annoyed me... then this... well... the "this" isn't really a problem actually, I tend to agree with him. A little bit.

shadetW: What?!? I come for support, and this is what I get!?!? A Pink sympathiser! Humph.

MZZTtW: WTH I'm not pink...

shadetW: But you sympathise with it.

MZZTtW: Er... yeah....

shadetW: So, what are you gonna do about it?

MZZTtW: Huh?

shadetW: -_- Kirb's post?!?

MZZTtW: Look, I can't DO anything about it. Just because I talked to him before about the script thing... it didn't change did it? (Not that I care.) Talk to Geb, he's a mod.

shadetW: A what?

MZZTtW: Er, I said the editor. Geb is the editor.

shadetW: You're not making RL references again, are you?

MZZTtW: Certantly not. Now get out of my cubicle please, I have to beat the Ranc... I mean, post more NeS stuff!

shadetW: I'm not in it.

MZZTtW: That's because it's too small. Now be a good fellow and get Geb to give me a bigger cubicle. Thanks!

shadetW: *sigh* I feel unimportant.

MZZTtW: Bleh, I'm sorry... Seriously, just try pressing enter TWICE instead of once after a line, like I do. Makes for logical partitions.

shadetW: Well... I dunno... sounds pretty silly to me, having to press a key twice...

MZZTtW: Just try it, k?

shadetW walks away mumbling something about stupid computers.

Suddenly, a yell is heard from across the room, over the cubicles.

jEDIkIRBYtW: I HEARD THAT WHOLE THING MEGA! YOU'RE GONNA BURN!

MZZTtW: HAHA, JUST TRY AND FIND MY CUBICLE!

jEDIkIRBYtW: ... dangit... NEVERMIND.

------------------
The Mega-ZZTer's Gaming Haven! - Under Construction
NEW! PHP implementation underway!
Website is working again. (Somewhat.)

Back at teh secret base of Jim7 a slight rumble is heard just before a firey hole in the air opens.

Jim7: stepping out of the portal he created Good to be home.

just then from the dark corner of the office the sound of many souls screaming is heard

Darkside: yes it is...

Jim7: I see you've taken your true form... I had forgotten how ugly you really are.

Darkside: I have come to destroy you.

Jim7: Well there is a problem with that plan, you see I am satan which means I am very much immortal.

Darkside: We'll see about that.

Jim7: I think not.

Just then Jim7 begins speaking a language older than Darkside, the NeS, the writers realm, and the doughnuts which are currently flying towards the HoH... The entire NeS becomes dark as night and a loud rumbling voice is heard across all planes of existance. Just then the wall behind Darkside cracks open and something beyond description pulls him into the wall.

Jim7: That should hold him for a while.

mommy...

------------------
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

Suddenly the doughnuts are confused by the darkening of the HoH and lose it for a second. They fly around randomly for a couple of seconds before zooming back to the HoH. In that time, a few of the doughnuts got separated, and zoomed off in random directions. Our hero is clinging to one of these doughnuts.

Geb: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!

Shouting won't help you.

Geb: Dangit, HELP ME!!! Darn you narrator!!!

All I can say is hang on for a few more minutes.

Geb: Easy for you to say...

Ahem... a few minutes later...

In Jim7's Secret Base...

Jim: Yes, that worked quite nicely.

Darkside *Other worldly/dimentionly tone*: AUUUUGH!!

Jim: Er... I didn't hear that.

[iSuddenly, A powerful burst of energy explodes on the side of the room where Darkside dissapeared, and Darkside appears. Also the whole room is left in shambles, and lots of other cool fx.[/i]

Darkside: You are quite annoying. Since when were YOU satan!?!?

Jim7: Since last post, I guess...

*CRASH*

Jim7: Wth, GEBOHQ!!!

Darkside: GEBOHQ!

Tony *hiding under Jim's desk in fear*: Mommy?

Geb: *stands up, doughnut in hand* er... um... *sees darkside and jim7* Anyone want a doughnut?

Darkside: *grinning* Sure... come a little closer...

Geb: Er... *gebs it*

Darkside: DANGIT, GET BACK HERE! *takes off in pursuit*

------------------
The Mega-ZZTer's Gaming Haven! - Under Construction
NEW! PHP implementation underway!
Website is working again. (Somewhat.)

[This message has been edited by The_Mega_ZZTer (edited September 25, 2003).]

[This message has been edited by The_Mega_ZZTer (edited September 25, 2003).]

Back at the ancient and rather creepy underground city below StoneHendge, the motley crew of NeSians stand around.

All: ...

Mostly being dumbstruck, it would seem.

Ares: I don't like your tone!

Ante: Perhaps you could have done without sending all the donuts via magic air-mail with Gebohq.

Ares: Be glad I'm not in the mood to kill you.

WAI: Would someone care to explain what's happening?

Dor: Well--

MZZT: --perhaps later.

Dor:

CoolMatty: So what do we do now?

Kirby: Attempt the recovery of the Hall of Heroes, I would hope.

maevie: Uh, guys...?

[character check list]Dr. Dormouse, The Last True Evil, Absolver, Highemperor, JK the White, CoolMatty, The Mega_ZZTer, Ares, Antestarr, and Galrek the Neutral all turn to Maeve, and freeze in horror, some more consciously than others.[/character check list] The personification of all that is insane, a monster of epic proportions that resembled something of a squid, a dragon, and a human, stood before Maeve and the rest of the NeSians.

Cthulhu: Alright, which of you took all my doughnuts?

*stunned silence*

Cthulhu: *sigh* This could take a while...

(NSP: I introduced the whole Cthulhu reference as a comparison to the insanity that NeS has itself, though I really like the whole "underground tunnels of plotline" deal. Just wanted to throw it out again before it was forgotten. Man, are you all on fire with the posting! Keep it up! If you want any general stuff Krig and I have thought up, let one of us know via e-mail, IM or the #NeS IRC channel, and we can send you what we have, but is not by any means necessary for continuing.)

*Absolver and TLTE slowly edge to the front of the crowd. Absolver has dealt with much insanity in his career, and TLTE has spent enough time around Absolver, to not be as awestruck as the rest of the crowd.*

TLTE: All right. I'll attack it head-on and die valiantly - you kill it when it buggers itself out eating me.

Absolver: Don't worry, mate! I used to deal with massive monsters of hideous evil allll the time back in my heyday in the 'Toaster' saga!

TLTE: Really? How did you do it?

Absolver: Well, about now the monster will -

*Cthulhu rampages forward suddenly, smashing into Absolver, sending him flying hundreds of feet across the cavern into the wall.*

Absolver: And now, someone competent will kill it.

*He passes out.*

*Highemperor leaps forward to TLTE's side*

Highemp: Fear not! Let me deal with the beast! I have cool powers too!

*He flies into the air, spinning impressively and drawing many 'oohs' and 'ahhs' from the rapt audience, pirouetting in mid-flight just in time to catch a blast of fire from the monster's dragon head. Highemperor blinks, motionless, then drops to the ground.*

TLTE: This is interesting. In a macabre way, that is.

*JK the White leaps unto to the breach.*

JK the White: Make way! The character I am shamelessly ripping off could take on ten dragons in the tweak of a nipple!

*The analogy totally lost on everyone, he rushes forward and nearly doesn't get a Cthulhu square in the face.*

TLTE: Ouch.

*Dormouse, CoolMatty and MZZT all nervously step forward.*

Dormouse: We...we're all going to get hurt to, aren't we?

TLTE: *nods*

*All three sigh resignedly, then rush to getting whupped.*

TLTE: Hmmm. I should probably attack myself soon...

*Ares yawns, then lazily steps forward.*

Ares: I suppose I'll have to defeat the scourge, eh?

TLTE: You ain't just whistling dixie, tovarish.

*Ares swaggers forward and gets beaten up, which is fairly surprising, although not so much if you consider the score to date.*

*Galrek, Maeve and TLTE form a defensive circle as the insane beast looms...*

MZZT quickly recovers from the blow. Embarrassed at his defeat, he slinks off, while Galrek, Maeve, and TLTE are being circled by Cthulhu.

TLTE: MZZT, get back here!

MZZT: Carp. Thanks TLTE.

Cthulhu: Hmm? One of the doughnut theves is trying to escape?

MZZT: ... @#$% *gets up and runs*

Cthulhu chases after MZZT, and they approach a wide... and deep... underground chasm.

MZZT: ... @#$%

Galrek *from far away*: Huh? Is there an echo in here?

Cthulhu roars in victory as MZZT stops at the edge of the chasm... Cthulhu stands just feet away now.

MZZT takes a doubtful look into the chasm, and then to Cthulhu... and then jumps off!

Cthulhu: Ha. Pitiful human.

Cthulhu turns around, and sees maevie, Galrek, and TLTE running for a door!

Cthulhu gives an angry roar. The whole place shakes, and the enterance caves in! Luckily, the three are running in a different direction, and quickly leave the main cavern.

Cthulhu: Haha! You can't escape! *gives chase*

A few moments later

MZZT pulls himself up onto the ledge he was hanging off of. He then jumps up and grabs onto the lip of the chasm, pulling himself out of it.

MZZT: *brushing himself off* Well, that was fun... we need to get back to the HoH though! *heads over to the group of unconscious heroes*

------------------
The Mega-ZZTer's Gaming Haven! - Under Construction
NEW! PHP implementation underway!
Website is working again. (Somewhat.)

[This message has been edited by The_Mega_ZZTer (edited September 26, 2003).]

Pile of Ashes that Used to Be Highemperor: Just my luck. . .

In the blink of an eye - or rather, of the bit of ash that used to be Highemp's eye - he is transformed back into normal form.

Highemp: Hey, I'm not a Character(TM) for nothing!

May I remind our readers - not to mention my imaginary audience - that Highemp is both character and writer, being HighemptheWriter in the body of HighemptheCharacter. Which is why he has such cool powers.

Imaginary Audience Member: Who is writing this script?!

IAM #2: Well, JKtheWriter, cuz he wrote the FutureScriptofNeS, which is now in GebtheWriter's hands, as revealed by that email he sent the writers from his cubicle in the Massassi Forums building which all the writers should read. [/shameless plug]

IAM #3: *sigh*

*rolls eyes* ConTINuing. . .

*in the Hall of Heroes*

Darkside has Geb cornered at the end of one hand of Big Ben (the short hand, which is pointing to 3) in a climactic confrontation. A hush builds, filled by the screaming of a thousand lost souls, as Darkside's true nature is revealed. Geb backs away slowly, slips on the edge of the hand, falls, reaches out his arm to catch himself-

Geb: *plummeting* Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Suddenly, his outstretched hand grabs ahold of the long hand, lower down, and he swings it around the clock all the way to the short hand, knocking Darkside off his perch.

Darkside: *plummeting* This is so unfa- *CRASH*

And so Darkside's six feet under.

Geb: You mean six feet underground?

No, I mean six feet under. Dead. Deader than a doornail. Gone. Vanished. Poof. God's way of saying slowing down. Kicked the bucket.

Geb: So he's in Hell, plotting with High Imp against me now, is he?

-----

In Hell, where High Imp and Darkside are plotting against Geb. . .

Darkside: Dagnabit, he's onto us!

-----

Yes, Geb, but forewarned is four-armed.

Geb: I think you mean "forearmed".

No, I mean four-armed. Look.

Geb: Ack! I have four arms now!

Actually, if you think about it, it's pretty cool. Imagine what the ladies will think when you show how much you can multitask around the house for them.

Geb: Hey! That's right! *saunters off proudly*

*snickers*

------------------
Quest on epic adventures or duel at the High Citadel!

CM and Wai stand again in the underground plotline tunnels...

Wai: So how, exactly, did we end up here?

CM: I'm not sure, but I would bet my money that it's your fault.

CM: Wait, now I remember... MZZT was coming over to check on everyone, when you got up, and decided to blast a way out of the cavern...

Wai: Oh yea, that's right!

CM: But all you did was make the chasm bigger, and swallow us all, leaving us stuck in the tunnels again.

Wai: Where's MZZT, Ares, and Dor then?

All Three: Behind you...

CM spins around, to see MZZT, Dor, and Ares all on top of eachother, in some very visible pain...

Ares: WILL YA'LL GET OFF OF ME?

MZZT: I would if Dor would get his knee out of my back!

Dor: It's not my fault! Ares has his arm locked around my leg!

CM: Hold on, I'll fix this.

CM casts a very low-power whirlwind, splitting all three of them apart, and accidentally throwing them all into the walls.

MZZT: If you have that powerful magic, why didn't you use it earlier?

CM: Dunno. Blame it on Wai. It's what I do.

Ares: Something's coming!

A dark figure appears in view... it seems to have for arms, with circles for hands...

Figure: Man, who would have thought? Four arms are useful! I can double my donut intake with these!

MZZT: There's only one person who obsesses about donuts like that...

Geb: Oh, Hi ya'll. How'd you end up down here?

Dor: Long story. What about you? What's with the arms?

Geb: Well, it involved darkside, donuts, and a very annoying narrator...

HEY! Watch it bub!

Geb: VERY annoying narrator...

You asked for it...

Then, for no particular reason, Geb's extra 2 arms fall off!

Geb: Why you little... if you had a physical presence, I'd take you down so fast you'd be seeing donut holes!

MZZT: Wait, what did you just say?

Geb: Donut holes?

MZZT: I just got the greatest idea... Everyone wait right here...

MZZT runs off down the tunnels. He returns with a whole lot of parts and tools. He then begins working on some sort of device.

MZZT: Someone get me as many donut holes as you can find...

Ares: I'll get 'em. My replacement Viper should have arrived by now...

Later, after everything has been built, and the donut holes taken care of, MZZT introduces his device...

MZZT: I call it, the Donut Hole Uber Destructive Godlike Unholy Neutralizer, or DHUDGUN for short.

CM: What's it do?

MZZT: It shoots Donut holes... at high speeds. Basically, taking down evil from long range!

Ares: Niiiice.

How will this new weapon be put to use? What the hell is going on? YOU TELL ME!


------------------
"The future is not determined by a throw of the dice, but is determined by the conscious decisions of you and me."
I am addicted to ellipses!!! AHHH!!! ...

MZZT *proudly*: Sometimes I'm so smart I scare myself.

ego[MZZT]++;

MZZT: Shut up.

MZZT: BTW, Ares, how did you get outside, the enterance caved in, remember?

Ares: ... Uh oh...

ALL: PLOTHOLE!!! AHHH!!!

Everyone falls into the plothole, and appear outside.

CM: Woah.

WAI: Error. Unable to process.

Galv: Ditto.

MZZT: Galv? How...?

Dr. Dormouse: The nature of plotholes is quite random, yah!

Geb: Hmmm... I see everyone from the cavern here... and Galv... but my count is off by one...

Ares: You're right. I'm counting one more than there should be...

Cthulhu: Cthulhu hate light!

All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Everyone gets into Ares' nearby Dodge Viper, except Cthulhu of course.

MZZT: DRIVE ARES!!! DRIVE FAST!!!

Ares puts the car into gear and takes off.

Ares: Don't worry! I have lots of experience driving fast... er... yeah...

maevie: Awww... what a cute puppie... Ares what's her name?

SD: Bark!

Ares: ... @#$%

maevie: *gasp* That's not a nice thing to name your puppy!

maevie huggles Sugar Dumpling

------------------
The Mega-ZZTer's Gaming Haven! - Under Construction
NEW! PHP implementation underway!
Website is working again. (Somewhat.)

[This message has been edited by The_Mega_ZZTer (edited September 26, 2003).]

Extract from 'HISTORY OF THE NES VOLUME 4,321; THE "GOLDEN AGE"'

"...and with the addition of a new plot line, the right combination of writers and sheer luck, the NeS enjoyed something of a Renaissance, both in the quality and quantity of posting. All was well, until-"

At this point a convenient coffee stain makes the rest of the lesson irrelevant.

Back at teh secret base of Jim7 we see Jim7 playing BF1942 as if it had some significance to this particular post...

Jim7: did you hear something?

Tony: no...

Jim7: oh well...

Just then Jim7 is killed in the game

Jim7: in that loud booming voice that makes everything dark and also makes stuff start shaking KJLHGSINJKAIHUJDJNGJKDSJJKGPAGHJKASKJHGSDFLKJGASKJLGKJASJKJHF (Note: this is a very naughty word in the ancient language Jim7 speaks... it is very hard to pronounce and is very evil)

Somewhere in a far off land where life is peaceful in a beautiful city we see the happy people going about their lives when suddenly all goes dark and the city bursts into flames.



------------------
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

for that comment...I shall not make another post today. you will all have to wait till tomorrow to read my literary masterpieces...who knows, maybe I'll even take on the skill of posting for multiple characters! or maybe I'll just continue working on this wierd spacing thing...*mutters darkly about nothing in particular*

------------------
New from the makers of Air in a Box!
ever find yourself in the middle of the desert, wishing you had been able to pack a gallon of water? well, now you can, with, Dehydrated Water! just add water

[NSP: Sorry shade, I tried to make my post go in your favor, I guess it didn't tho eh... sorry Seriously tho, it really helps improve readability, just try it! ]

------------------
The Mega-ZZTer's Gaming Haven! - Under Construction
NEW! PHP implementation underway!
Website is working again. (Somewhat.)

Jovan is continuously begging Sine to give him the build of his Nar Shaddaa level.

Sine: No.

Turned down again, he goes back to playing Jedi Academy's Coruscant level thinking it will satisfy him.

Jovan: Raven is supposed to be professional... so how come this isn't 1337 enough???

Jovan cries in shame and then gets a bright idea.

Jovan: I will start making levels with the release of Half-Life 2 and be 1337er than everyone else!!!

------------------
I started the second religion/cult to stem from Masssassi... Gebohqism! All hail Gebohq and his 1337 Dr. Pepper drinking Admin ways!

hard_drive...although NeS has virutally no plot line to think of and is generally believed to be quite possibly the oddest story short of something writted by douglas adams...we do try to make the various additions to the story line connect together so that it at least makes sense...now, having said that, I must ask you this.
How on earth does your post have any relevance whatsoever to the two sides of the NeS? did you perchance intend to post that elsewhere?
now, having asked my questions, I shall go think hard and make my brain go hurty. later!

------------------
New from the makers of Air in a Box!
ever find yourself in the middle of the desert, wishing you had been able to pack a gallon of water? well, now you can, with, Dehydrated Water! just add water

[NSP: Actually shade, I try to write in Adams' style (I think it's become subconscious now tho... erk... =/). And Jovan/HD... I have to agree with shade. if you want to write in the NeS, you have to at least get your character involved with other characters in the NeS. You can't just start a whole 'nother story right in the middle of NeS (someone else tried to do that once... I just skipped over his stories after trying to read them, because they didn't fit in to NeS at all and therefore I didn't need to read them... =/)]

------------------
The Mega-ZZTer's Gaming Haven! - Under Construction
NEW! PHP implementation underway!
Website is working again. (Somewhat.)

*cazor comes into the ISB for the first time... sees all the people who dont even post on the other forums, then cries and laughs*


...


*lights ISB on fire and runs*

------------------
There are two asses in Massassi... and I'm one of them.
The Matrix Unplugged|The Valley of the Jedi Tower|Smaug's Lair

[NSP: I don't think either Cazor or HD are trying seriously to become posters here; technically speaking, we've just been spammed.]

*Absolver spots the flaming thread, runs to it, throws it on the floor and stamps on it until the flames cease. When the smoke clears, he realises he has done more damage than the fire itself, laughs nervously, scribbles down the name of a respectable insurance company and runs.*

You're about 7 hours too late to stop the fire from where it started It would have burned down four ISBs by the time you got to it.

------------------
There are two asses in Massassi... and I'm one of them.
The Matrix Unplugged|The Valley of the Jedi Tower|Smaug's Lair

Oh really? I suppose you were the kid playing "Cowboys and Indians" that would never admit when you got shot, right?

Then take this; I magically heal the ISB and banish you to back to the forums where you belong (times infinity NO returns)!

Now, back to the NeS

[This message has been edited by The Last True Evil (edited September 29, 2003).]

Thread Hijack!

So how was your day?



------------------

suddenly, a comet comes crashing down on top of gannondorf, pulling along a SSD. Ironicly, the last thing the captain of the SSD said was, "Fine, how are you?"

------------------
<Dormouse> there are very few things quite as comforting as smelling like a close friend.

We are only human, perfect in our imperfections. - Erin amie du Dor

<Dormouse> it's really cute in the way that a sherman tank with a fuzzy steering wheel is cute

Eh... check the time difference from when I lit it on fire and when you posted. Oh thats right... i win. *moon-walks out of the ISB*


------------------
There are two asses in Massassi... and I'm one of them.
The Matrix Unplugged|The Valley of the Jedi Tower|Smaug's Lair

Thrawn42689 appears suddenly.

"Where am I? What's going on?" he asks. "Can somebody give me a recap?"

------------------
New Half-Life 2 Screenshots! (Updated Daily)

And back to the current plotline...


CM: It's a little cramped for this many people, isn't it?

Ares: It's a dodge viper, it's not meant for more than like, 2 people.

SD: Ruff!

Ares: NOBODY ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION!

Maevie: Why are you so mean to this poor dog?!

Ares: Why does Zeus hate me so? Anyway, throw that thing out the window and lets get out of here!

Maevie: I will not!

Ares: Fine, I'll do it myself!

Ares grabs the dog, opens his window, and starts to throw the dog out, when he suddenly realizes that no one else is driving the car, and is about to drive off a cliff into the sea below...

Ares: Uh, crap?

ALL: We're gonna die!

SD: Woof!

The car drives off a cliff, falling 250, 500, 750, 1000 meters...

Wai: Just how high is this cliff?

MZZT: Apparently, pretty high...

The water rapidly approaches them... CM calls up his magic power, and teleports them all up back to the top of the cliff, leaving the car to fall into the sea...

All: OOF!

MZZT: Nice save CM...

CM: Heh, thanks. But I'm done magic-wise for about the next 3 weeks...

Ares (With SD on his head):You could have left the dog in the car...

The dog begins to answer nature's call on top of Ares' head.

Ares: YOU BLASTED DOG! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!

Maevie: You will do nothing of the sort!

Maevie slaps Ares, and snatches the dog before Ares got the chance to blow the dog to Antartica.

Wai: I believe we lost Cthulhu...

Cthulhu: Lost who?

MZZT: Eh, what?! O god, let's get out of here!

CM: Heh, looks like I warped more that just us...

Rest: MORON!

MZZT: Looks like we have nowhere to run...

Ares: Fighting looks to be our only choice...

Maevie: Let's do this diplomatically. Cthulhu, you wouldn't hurt a nice little girl like me, would you?

Cthulhu then proceeds to punch Maevie right in the chin. Maevie falls to the floor, writhing in pain...

Maevie: KILL HIM AND BURN HIS CORPSE! I WANT SEND HIS BURNT FLESH TO HIS PARENTS, AND NUKE THEM TOO! THERE WILL BE NO MERCY!

Wai: Intense... Never piss off a girl...

An all-out battle insues. CM, being completely drained from teleporting, stays behind, using Wai as a weapon. Ares uses his all-powerful attacks on Cthulhu, which only succeeds in destroying the ground around them. MZZT whips up some very fast ninja moves, stabbing him all over with a konai(Japanese dagger of sorts). Cthulhu continues to bash each and every one of them, one by one. Finally, all that is left is Sugar Dumpling, who stands in front of Cthulhu and barks continuously.

What will happen to them? Will Sugar Dumpling save the day? I am so hungry!

------------------
"The future is not determined by a throw of the dice, but is determined by the conscious decisions of you and me."
I am addicted to ellipses!!! AHHH!!! ...

Just then a firey portal opens and Jim7 appears

Jim7: Cthulhu? what are you doing here?

Cthulhu: I was just beathing these people up...

Jim7: oh... hey that new Krispy Kreme opens today wanna go down there and burn it down? then maybe we could head to Dunkin Donuts

Cthulhu: Sounds like a plan let's go...

MMM DUNKIN DONUTS

------------------
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

Meanwhile, Ares and the others begin to regain consciousness. All that is left is a big crater, and Sugar Dumpling, sittin in the middle licking his paw.

MZZT: Did that dog...

CM: just completely...

Wai: And utterly...

Maevie: Annihilate Cthulhu?

Ares: $@#! dog! Always stealing my thunder!

MZZT: If I remember correctly, you were the one that was first defeated...

Ares: Details, details.

Wai: Well, since we've apparently won this, what do you all say we go celebrate at Krispy Kreme?

CM: I've got no problem with that. But this time, I'M DRIVING.



------------------
"The future is not determined by a throw of the dice, but is determined by the conscious decisions of you and me."
I am addicted to ellipses!!! AHHH!!! ...

Meanwhile, in New York City, a figure of some pages ago is seen talking on the phone in his office...

The Last True (Evil) Television Executive: ...and I don't care if it's illegal; find a way to install cameras in every girls' locker room across the country! ...Er, yeah, it's for my new "reality show" this fall ...uh-huh, I'm glad you like it. Good-bye.

*TLTTVE hangs up the phone and reclines in his comfy office chair. Moments later, the phone rings, and TLTTVE grumbles as he picks up the phone.*

TLTTVE: What is it? ...oh. Hello, sir. ...No, of course not. I would never talk to you in that manner.

*TLTTVE sits up at attention, taking out a PDA to write notes of the conversation he was having.*

TLTTVE: ...I see. ...OK... ...Yes, I'm ready at your command. ...let's just say that NeS is about to be "canceled." Mwahahahahahaha--er--no sir. I meant that literally. Pay-Per-View has been airing NeS since it began... well yes. ...of course, sir. I'll never speak the truth again. Honest mistake, really...

Wow, this guy hasn't been mentioned since... well, it's been a while, that's for sure. Does The Last True Evil the Television Executive have some part to play in this plot to come, or is he to be forgotten among the more important people? Has anyone else noticed that NeS has been getting a little slow? Perhaps it's old age, or perhaps it's something more sinister? It could be that the writers are slow and useless like they usually are--

Geb the writer: I resemble that remark!

--so stay tuned to find out what happens next on NeS: Temptation Island -- I mean -- The Never-ending Story Thread!