your poor without a lambo bro

Good thing I am the high quality kind of ****** and I am going to build a tractor to have gay sex in instead of a lambo where those nerds won't be able to fit anybody they pay for

I could probably buy at least two though

http://hypecoaster.com/

possibly three on the right market day

Hey, no qualms here. You bought into crypto early and did pretty dang well for yourself, and that rules.

I just feel bad for the people who bought in a few weeks ago.

but i only invested because i know that future results predict past performance. That being the case, there were already crypto trillionaires when i bought in (probably) and now I'm well on my way to being one. Pretty clearly, if these people just don't sell, they too will be on their way soon

Would you recommend buying right now?

Do you have a need to do things with smart contracts for some reason? Maybe hang on to $1000 owrth for convenience

Do you want to buy things you can only buy with cyrpto? Buy right before you need it.

Do you like gambling? Buy some and hold on to it but then maybe decide you aren't going to ride this game into the rocks and sell it at some point but tell yourself otherwise at every moment up to that impulsive decision.

Do you want to make money? Get a job!

Spooks spooky guide to buying crypto such sweetness

I may have purchased some other things with crypto ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Forget it. I'll just start my own currency called JonesCoin.

You can do it easy.

On Ethereum.

Buy so I can be rich again. I woke up poor this morning. All gone!

Does the SEC have jurisdiction in Guyana?

I thought about making ReidCoins which were coins redeemable for 0.0001 cents by me personally, which I would also award to people who made very pretentious comments.

I decided it was far too much work and didn't do it.

It's neat how the US government measures economic success by a metric for economic inequality.

"The stock markets rallied today on news that literally all US employers have slashed wages down to nothing. Every US business has issued simultaneous press releases saying the excess money will be allocated to their accelerated stock buyback programs. In other financial news, the unemployment rate is now 0%. The economy has never been stronger."

I like how there's all kinds of screenshots of headlines and whatnot and in the end there's just "THERE WAS NO COLLUSION!".

eastasiadidit

So apparently he even lied about being in good health...

[quote=The New York Times]
WASHINGTON — Cardiologists not associated with the White House said Wednesday that President Trump’s physical exam revealed serious heart concerns, including very high levels of so-called bad cholesterol, which raises the risk that Mr. Trump could have a heart attack while in office.

Dr. Ronny L. Jackson, a rear admiral and the White House physician, said Tuesday in his report on the president’s medical condition that Mr. Trump was in “excellent” cardiac health despite having an LDL cholesterol level of 143, well above the desired level of 100 or less.

Dr. David Maron, the director of preventive cardiology at Stanford University’s medical school, said Wednesday that it was alarming that the president’s LDL levels remain above 140 even though he is taking 10 milligrams of Crestor, a powerful drug that is used to lower cholesterol levels to well below 100.

Dr. Maron said he would “definitely” be worried about Mr. Trump’s risk for having a heart attack if the president were one of his patients. Asked if Mr. Trump is in perfect health, Dr. Maron offered a blunt reply: “God, no.”

[...]

[/quote]

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/17/us/politics/trump-physical-heart-health-cholesterol.html

Why the heck is this burger-wielding waifu being posted on /v and /pol... is this some kind of self-deprecating American joke? Are hamburgers just that awesome? Or do the people posting it really unironically love them that much just by virtue of being American?

Probably the most disturbing image I've seen all year.

I am pretty sure she's supposed to be "Aryan", but... a burger?

Hamburgers are pretty great, actually.

I find Reverend Jones willingly frequenting the sewers of the Internet* more disturbing than a rather generic animu picture (and I think it's more of a "lol she's crying cuz she can never be a man/american manifest destiny **** yeah trump is our savior" present-day Internet garbage thing anyway).

* = [Insert your own "yeah and he visits 4chan too" jab here]

Hamburgers are good as hell and I haven't seen anything like that from the Pepe Nazis on Twitter yet so I'm in the dark.

I go there every time there is bad news about Trump. I'm usually disappointed though because they don't seem seem to like talking about the news of the day when their team is down.

And yeah I think you're right about the interpretation. I remember now somebody with a Japan flag posted it in one of those "TFW when you will never..." format posts.

(Next I expect to hear about how much Norwegians just can't bear to live another day without experiencing life in America under Trump.)

Are hamburgers synonymous with the US out there in the rest of the world? I knew the two were at least associated, but I always thought the whole "burger boy" schtick was purely a FGR phenomenon.

It's more or less in the same vein as all those blood libels and the like. "Oh no, the Gypsies are angry that they're a dirty race so they're kidnapping PURE CHRISTIAN CHILDREN!". There's always one group of people who's confident that other people desire to be like them, and start moaning about "lol u jelly" and conspiracies and predestination and blah-blah-blah when they're proven wrong.

Also like that one poll with the result that Denmark was the happiest country on Earth, so Bill O'Reilly went all "lol they cant be happy under socialism".

Hamburger restaurants are one of your largest cultural exports, yeah

Yes.

On a similar note, I think that the most common nickname for Americans in non-English languages is derived from "yankee" (f.ex. "jenkki" in Finnish). In the past, when I've told someone about it (i.e. probably on #massassi), someone from the U.S. has immediately gone all "BUT I'M FROM [ARKANSAS] LOL U WRONG". Nobody outside the U.S. cares about such distinctions.

(Especially as far as non-English speakers are concerned)

Yup confirmed, we call y’all “yanks”

Yankee Doodle rode to Wendy's

Yankee Doodle rode to town, bought up all the real estate. Stuck a Walmart on the lot and called it a tax inversion

I suppose you guys read today that Apple & the GOP just succeeded in avoiding a bunch of taxes by waiting until the tax bill's passage to repatriate a bunch of cash and building an American plant.

One thing I'm seeing is a complaint that American corporations are already overtaxed. I don't remember what the corporate tax rate is (35%?), but I see a lot of apologizing for Apple's tax strategy by citing this as an unnecessary burdon for companies to endure.

Next time recognize the cry for help.

There were also people who defended the king, and the robber barons, and the Fuhrer.

Monarchists GTFO

Damn, sucks to be these people..

i appreciate that the bathroom is the lowest percentage of them all. at least something is sacred.

if youo love what you do you'rel never work a days in your life!

if you love what you do then you should accept a lower salary because capital is entitled to your surplus

why are you breaking my balls re: salary, employee? don't you believe in what we're doing here at company x?

you aren’t willing to be a software engineer for $x? well how about software engineer II?