Yes, if you had applied yourself im sure you could have been a lawyer. But you didn’t, and you aren’t one.
alright so at the risk of being accused of being a stupid educated person I’m gonna dump some goddamn facts on you.
Human language is complete ****ing garbage.
Let me be more clear here. I’m formally educated in logic, computer science, and just a dash of linguistics. Basically I have a four year degree in why natural human languages are useless for expressing precise concepts.
Have you ever noticed a lot of software being written in English? No ya haven’t. This is why.
Have you ever noticed a lot of laws being written in English? Yuh huh you sure have. You need a law degree to understand the law because language doesn’t ****in mean language bruh.
“Congress shall make no law ... abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press”
- What is speech? Speech is verbal communication. That means you are only allowed to say whatever you want. You aren’t allowed to write whatever you want, use sign language, dance, or expose your visage in any way. Congress is free to regulate what you are allowed to record, broadcast, and even just amplify using technology, because none of those things are literally speech.
- What is the press? Do you need a journalism degree, work for certain companies, ...? Do you need to own a printing press? Perhaps Congress cannot curtail the freedom of the press, but it seems they are perfectly entitled to define what the press is.
- Congress cannot regulate what speakers say or what the press publishes, but they are clearly able to regulate what people are allowed to hear and read. It doesn’t infringe upon your free speech just because anybody who listens to you gets thrown in jail.
“But that’s not what the first amendment means!” you exclaim. “Speech REALLY means all forms of expression, and it’s REALLY freedom to change your mind, not just freedom to share it, and” blah blah blah. But that ain’t what the text says buck o.
“Law doesn’t change language” my ass. The only reason this dreck is workable at all is because of a tradition of generations of lawyers and judges establishing a common understanding of what these laws ACTUALLY mean, because human language is completely inadequate for describing laws otherwise.
Thank **** for lawyers.
no they’re pretty random dude